Kiwi Biker's Got Talent.

[Hitcher]

How many KBers have skills or abilities that could be put to good effect as entertainment?

Who amongst us can yodel/juggle/ride a unicycle/etc? And who would willingly demonstrate the prodigiousness of their talent in public?

Any hopes I may have once harbored to be a world-class entertainer were hammered out of me at high school by a teacher who informed me that ventriloquism did not involve trying to make girls' lips move by putting a hand up their skirts.

Don't be shy. Tell the rest of us what your special talent is...

[Big Dave]

How long ya got?

[DMNTD]

I can do quite the impressive "helicopter" and given enough bourbons... :niceone:

[jrandom]

I can recite the full first half-to-two-thirds (depending on level of inebriation) of The Saga of Ethelred, or, The Sad Tale of a Motor Fan.

A guaranteed crowd-pleaser.

[Katman]

Fly's eyes?

White eared elephant?

:msn-wink:

[jrandom]

I detect a common theme emerging.

[Katman]

(Oh, and I can also fart - if someone pulls my finger).

[sAsLEX]

Windsurfer?

Eiffel Tower?

Squirrel on a trampoline?

[tri boy]

Used to do a mean "dance of the flaming arseholes".

[skidMark]

How many KBers have skills or abilities that could be put to good effect as entertainment?

Who amongst us can yodel/juggle/ride a unicycle/etc? And who would willingly demonstrate the prodigiousness of their talent in public?

Any hopes I may have once harbored to be a world-class entertainer were hammered out of me at high school by a teacher who informed me that ventriloquism did not involve trying to make girls' lips move by putting a hand up their skirts.

Don't be shy. Tell the rest of us what your special talent is...


Most of us just like, you know...

... ride our motorcycles.

...Instead of just talking crap on here?



...I'm a minority. :pinch:

[DMNTD]

...I'm a minority. :pinch:

Nah don't be so hard on yourself SM....plenty of people talk utter tripe on here. :sunny:

[Joni]

I used to be a good singer... I'd say Im average now!
Used to play bass pretty well, dont know if I can play anymore, haven't picked one up in years...

:pinch:

Like all old muso's I have the dream of "what could of been" :(

[Trudes]

I have a really long tongue.:calm:

[sAsLEX]

I have a really long tongue.:calm:

Prove it by licking your elbow......

[Trudes]

Prove it by licking your elbow......

You're watching me try aren't you?!:shit:

[McJim]

Is it supposed to be silly talents or serious ones?

I was a semi-professional trumpet player back in the UK.
I used to play bass in a band before my bass got stolen.
I can juggle.

[quallman1234]

I can do flip's on the ground and over people (10's my record but i wouldn't wanna try much more than 6 these days)

[DingoZ]

I paint. Bt unless it's in a demo show, it's not really entertainment

[RC1]

i roll a mean :doobey:

[nadroj]

...once had a cop in uniform on my shoulders at a school gala day.

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=1550760&postcount=19

[Katman]

I was a semi-professional trumpet player back in the UK.



Semi-professional - does that mean you asked for money and they refused?

[98tls]

Semi-professional - does that mean you asked for money and they refused? Knowing the guy i would have to guess correct.

[Nagash]

Err..

I used to be able to rollerblade pretty farking well.

Haven't had in a go in three or four years.. after dislocating me knee for about the fourth time the doc's said if I do it again i'll need surgery. So I decided to just sorta slow down from then on.. then just sorta stopped.

I can also play bass but once again haven't in awhile..

I'm also pretty keen to seriously injure myself for a laugh. I could be a New Zealand Johnny Knoxville.. if someone would pay me as much as he does.

[Oakie]

I have a really long tongue.:calm:

And can you breath through your ears? If so, then I know some people who might like to meet you...

[Pussy]

Isn't PrincessBandit a bit of a gun muso?

[98tls]

Hate to admit it but if one blows through my dogs nose his ears flap.:oi-grr::jerry:

[Pussy]

Hate to admit it but if one blows through my dogs nose his ears flap.:oi-grr::jerry:

Can you teach me to play the cat? :bleh:

[PrincessBandit]

(Oh, and I can also fart - if someone pulls my finger).

Delightful.
And from memory our sister can burp the alphabet.
Me, I don't do disgusting bodily things like that. Eeeewwww. I don't even own up to farting.....(I always blame it on the dog)

Hey, but I can tap dance.

[98tls]

Err..

I used to be able to rollerblade pretty farking well.

Haven't had in a go in three or four years.. after dislocating me knee for about the fourth time the doc's said if I do it again i'll need surgery. So I decided to just sorta slow down from then on.. then just sorta stopped.

I can also play bass but once again haven't in awhile..

I'm also pretty keen to seriously injure myself for a laugh. I could be a New Zealand Johnny Knoxville.. if someone would pay me as much as he does. Bling sent just for admitting to rollerblading:msn-wink:

[Oakie]

I make people laugh. Sometimes even on purpose!

[Pussy]

I don't even own up to farting.....



So we know who to blame for the "silent but violent" then....

[PrincessBandit]

But when the dog does it, he clears the whole room!!!

[98tls]

But when the dog does it, he clears the whole room!!!
Love it when my border collie lets one go,looks around as if to say wtf was that.:confused::laugh:

[Katman]

Hey, but I can tap dance.

Don't you dare............ :msn-wink:

[McJim]

Love it when my border collie lets one go,looks around as if to say wtf was that.:confused::laugh:

It's the smell that you love though innit?:sick::puke:

[98tls]

It's the smell that you love though innit?:sick::puke:
Yep reminds me of my stay in Invergiggle.:niceone:

[PrincessBandit]

What's that line of Fat Bastard's? "everyone love their own brand" or summink like that.

[McJim]

What's that line of Fat Bastard's? "everyone love their own brand" or summink like that.

That would gag a maggot that would....

[RC1]

Err..I used to be able to rollerblade pretty farking well.
Haven't had in a go in three or four years..

have been off mine for 7yrs now and just last week got my daughter some so out come the old blades to help her get her confidence , she thinks its great when i fall over :2thumbsup

[Flyno]

I ride motobike.broom broom

[Pussy]

I'd love to say I can play the guitar.... one day, perhaps :confused:

[kevfromcoro]

It's the smell that you love though innit?:sick::puke:

i had a boxer once.....evertime i farted id blame it on him and give him a belt
didnt take him long...everytime he smelt something in the air he would hide under the bed for a couple of hours....

[BIHB@0610]

I have a really long tongue.:calm:

oooh oooh me too .... imagine Mrs K, we could perform a tasteful duet .......:buggerd:

[Swoop]

Hate to admit it but if one blows through my dogs nose his ears flap.
I hate to imagine what you were doing at the time you discovered this...

Also, what holes do you have to cover with your fingers, to get a tune to come out?:scratch:

[98tls]

I hate to imagine what you were doing at the time you discovered this...

Also, what holes do you have to cover with your fingers, to get a tune to come out?:scratch: Cant recall mentioning a tune.

[Mom]

I have a really long tongue.:calm:

really????????


And can you breath through your ears? If so, then I know some people who might like to meet you...

Take my line why dont you! She never shared that talent when I met her :no:


have been off mine for 7yrs now and just last week got my daughter some so out come the old blades to help her get her confidence , she thinks its great when i fall over :2thumbsup

I used to be a mean as skater! Roller skates though, we did not have blades back in the olden days, unless it was on ice...:blip: Fucken teenaged boys with OTT testosterone made me show off :innocent:

[Conquiztador]

Fire breathing...

[Mikkel]

I eat really fast...

[martybabe]

I eat really fast...

Me too. I wonder if that's an ex fireman thing, I used to be washing my plate before they'd picked up their forks, well their greedy bastards, gotta get in quick. :lol:

Not much good at a talent show though. Next up ,we have martybabe eating two plates of curry,.... Oh scratch that it's gone..next. :laugh:

[ManDownUnder]

I can clear a decent sized room the day after a nice curry. I'm pretty classy too!

[peasea]

How many KBers have skills or abilities that could be put to good effect as entertainment?

Who amongst us can yodel/juggle/ride a unicycle/etc? And who would willingly demonstrate the prodigiousness of their talent in public?

Any hopes I may have once harbored to be a world-class entertainer were hammered out of me at high school by a teacher who informed me that ventriloquism did not involve trying to make girls' lips move by putting a hand up their skirts.

Don't be shy. Tell the rest of us what your special talent is...

I can put my willy in a coffee mug but the last time I did the thread got PD'd.
I can light my farts too.

[mynameis]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA2B5X0LhMY

[LilSel]

I have a really long tongue.:calm:

oooh oooh me too .... imagine Mrs K, we could perform a tasteful duet .......:buggerd:

A long tongue you say??... :lol: How do you measure that??
*pokes tongue out* hmmm.... I think mines just wide lol. :jerry:

[Oakie]

I can light my farts too.

Fart lighting. Now there's a performance art. I tried to teach my 18 year-old nephew the art as part of his passage to manhood. Unfortunately he held the match too far from his arse and instead of the flame flaring outwards, it burnt back and singed his ring-gear. Funny as feck ... well me and his dad thought so.
Actually I remember making the same mistake myself at the same age and igniting my pubes. Pooey!