Ok guys whats ya best dump the girlfriend line?

[MadDuck]

Yep Xmas brought Santa but it also brought the MD single life again (watch out KK I may be on the hunt for toy boys :ride: )

So come on fellas ...what is the best dump line you ever given a girl. Any of ya get close to what I got I will send you a chocolate bar.

[toads]

I've never dumped a girl, but I married the only guy I ever dumped, so can't tell ya what I said when I gave him the push, cos I married him after I dumped him lol!!

[Riff Raff]

I may be on the hunt for toy boys
:2thumbsup :2thumbsup :banana: :banana: You go girl...

[jrandom]

"You've opened my heart to the truth and forced me to realise that I prefer men."

[toads]

"You've opened my heart to the truth and forced me to realise that I prefer men."

hmm, interesting effect you're having MD lol

[MadDuck]

Hmmmmmm...well I did wonder about ya JR :buggerd:

[Riff Raff]

"You've opened my heart to the truth and forced me to realise that I prefer men."
Is that what you were getting up to in your back garden on new years eve??? :shit:

[Quasievil]

Ummmm let me think

Oh yes thats it, get the fuck out of my life you slapper!!

thats was my favourite after finding out a two timing girlfriend years ago:ar15:

[FROSTY]

My best -get rid of the girl line must have been on new years eve.
Im sorry lady -dont you realise that not only do aucklanders have very small penie we also dont know what to do with them. When that diddnt work I made it really clear that brewers droop was particularly apt for me.
When that diddn't work I introduced her to stomechucker and ducked for cover

[Riff Raff]

Oh yes thats it, get the fuck out of my life you slapper!!

Very succinct

[MadDuck]

Oh yes thats it, get the fuck out of my life you slapper!!



Nup wrong but nice try Quasi ...umm I am not a slapper BUT given time I may change my thinking :eek:

[MadDuck]

Hmmmm ...ta frosty remind me NOT to date aucklanders again :brick:

[Riff Raff]

Ummm, :o I'm not proud of this one, but I did dump a guy by spouting the usual I don't think we're working out, I think we'd be better at friends, la de da de da crap, and I've fallen in love with your brother....

[Quasievil]

Nup wrong but nice try Quasi ...umm I am not a slapper BUT given time I may change my thinking :eek:
Sorry oops ummm, I didnt read it properly, this was just a dump line I gave to someone, it wasnt to guess what was said to you Oh gorgeous one.

[FROSTY]

Hmmmm ...ta frosty remind me NOT to date aucklanders again :brick:
Aww madduck--I'd marry ya-If you'd give me ya bike to race in F3

[Hitcher]

She wears a long fur coat of mink
Even in the summertime
Everybody knows from the coy little wink
The girl's got a lot on her mind
She's got big thoughts, big dreams
And a big brown Mercedes sedan
What I think this girl, she really wants
Is to be in love with a man...

[Slipstream]

"You've opened my heart to the truth and forced me to realise that I prefer men."Wow that's really close to what I said to my x-g/f....:gob:

....and I'm being serious....

[Hitcher]

10. I do really like you.
(I think my friends might think you're ugly.)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(I only date women ten years younger than me - and I think you're ugly.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way
(I can't picture you in tight PVC and stiletto heels - and you're ugly.)

7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I fancy your friend here, she's not so ugly.)

6. I've got a girlfriend/I'm still sort of involved with someone.
(If you believe that would make a difference to a guy, you must be stupid as well as ugly.)

5. I don't date women where I work...
(...when they're ugly.)

4. It's not you, it's me.
(You're ugly.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(I have to think of my reputation at work: you're ugly!)

2. I'm celibate.
(I would be if everyone were as ugly as you.)

...and the number 1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means)

1. Let's be friends.
(Maybe when I've drunk a few one night, you'll seem less ugly)

[Slipstream]

She wears a long fur coat of mink
Even in the summertime
Everybody knows from the coy little wink
The girl's got a lot on her mind
She's got big thoughts, big dreams
And a big brown Mercedes sedan
What I think this girl, she really wants
Is to be in love with a man...
Are you trying to out poet me???? :mellow: .........:eyepoke:

[aff-man]

Hmmmmmm don't think i ever used a standard line , can't remember what i said....... but remind me to watch out for you "more experienced" (runs and ducks for cover) lady types trying to corrupt us young fella's

[MadDuck]

Aww madduck--I'd marry ya-If you'd give me ya bike to race in F3

LMFAO ...never gonna happen mate. You got the SV for a day and thats it!

I think Hitcher just might have hit the nail ..but which one. Choccy bar heading your way dude :)

[Posh Tourer :P]

Hmmmmmm don't think i ever used a standard line , can't remember what i said....... but remind me to watch out for you "more experienced" (runs and ducks for cover) lady types trying to corrupt us young fella's


Sounds like theres a real clan of them developing round here.....

[Posh Tourer :P]

LMFAO ...never gonna happen mate. You got the SV for a day and thats it!

I think Hitcher just might have hit the nail ..but which one. Choccy bar heading your way dude :)

The "its not you its me" nail?

[FROSTY]

I dunno--stoneshukka came up with a beeeuteee

[Paul in NZ]

The "its not you its me" nail?

That was my guess too!

[Hitcher]

Choccy bar heading your way dude
Hmmmm, Virtual chocolate...

[Paul in NZ]

Hmmmm, Virtual chocolate...

Virtually fat free too....

[Atilgan]

Hi MadDuck, if you don't like her, just tell her the truth why you don't think she's the one. It's sad to see you dragging a girl. Just like you dragging an unhealthy dog with you. Tell her the truth, she will probably feel better than you ask her to "fuck off".

[Posh Tourer :P]

errr..... MadDuck dragging a girl??

When? where?

[toads]

Hi MadDuck, if you don't like her, just tell her the truth why you don't think she's the one. It's sad to see you dragging a girl. Just like you dragging an unhealthy dog with you. Tell her the truth, she will probably feel better than you ask her to "fuck off".

cripes did I miss something here??

[MadDuck]

errr..... MadDuck dragging a girl??

When? where?


Thank u Posh :sweatdrop I sure as hell dont drag girls !!!!!

[MadDuck]

Hmmmm, Virtual chocolate...

PM me your addy (if you feel safe) and its on its way :P

[Kwaka-Kid]

Im sure about 2 years ago i posted one i had used.. cant remeber now anyway...

I think what counts just as much as what is said is how its done.:rolleyes:

errr, im real bad with stuff like that in person so there might have been a time or two when i did it on the phone... and then more recently when i was too scared to do that even i resorted to text messaging :Oops: Its so shameful! Can i seek help for such lack-of-ballsness like this?:(



And madduck i already have my very own suga mumma :(

[MadDuck]

And madduck i already have my very own suga mumma :(


awwww...and I was so looking forward to some young thing :ar15:

Everything I post from here on in i take NO responsibility for . Yep its a disclaimer

[Blakamin]

Had a mate come around to my place in the mid 90's and tell the chick in my bed "fuck off out of me mates house now ya skank" she looked at me and I just shrugged.....
when I sobered up later that day, I found she'd stole my t-shirt.... and he told me he'd heard she was a thievin bitch and thats why he "asked her to leave"

Gotta love mates that look out you

[edit] havent spent $600 at a niteclub since!!!!

[Posh Tourer :P]

Thank u Posh :sweatdrop I sure as hell dont drag girls !!!!!

Could be a good career move by the sounds of it though.....

[sels1]

Virtually fat free too....

and so easy to share around....

[MadDuck]

cripes did I miss something here??

Nah its ok Toads...have a panadole and lie down. Some one just decided to post figuring I was a bloke. COS only blokes ride bikes ah :P

[Slipstream]

Nah its ok Toads...have a panadole and lie down. Some one just decided to post figuring I was a bloke. COS only blokes ride bikes ah :PI seem to get that too...
Hope things are turning out to be better off for you...PM me if you wanna have a "girlie" talk :)

[Sensei]

Hey MadDuck . I take it you have had aline used on you from your post . Do I dear ask what it was ?? If you ride bike's then it wont be to hard to find plenty of new Talent out there to check out while riding around .Good Luck :spudwave:
SENSEI

[Riff Raff]

Some one just decided to post figuring I was a bloke. COS only blokes ride bikes ah :P
I get that too. Was getting pretty worried there for a while and had to keep checking that I hadn't grown a penis!

[Yokai]

Some one just decided to post figuring I was a bloke.

Or just fantasising....

My vote is the "My life's complicated right now... trust me - it isn't you, it's me..."


My fave dump line was when she said " I'm not sure about stuff..." and I said "Well - see ya then!" ... She burst into tears saying that she didn't want to break up but she was testing me... Stupid bint.

Anyways, MD - I hope you are OK, and that things get better for you. :hug:

[mini_hooks_]

Hey MadDuck . I take it you have had aline used on you from your post . Do I dear ask what it was ?? If you ride bike's then it wont be to hard to find plenty of new Talent out there to check out while riding around .Good Luck :spudwave:
SENSEI

yea come on spit it out, it will make you feel better and make you stop :crybaby:

[Ghost Lemur]

Best I ever did was for my best friend.

Wrote a letter on his behalf, saying that her association with <insert his name> and Partners had been terminated. Very professional looking (even made up a letter head). Then to top it off we included a questionaire, with such brilliant questions as How do you feel about <insert his name> now? and What are your thought on the price of fish?

Amazingly she did actually return the questionaire, but her answers pretty much solely constisted of "Fuck you Asshole", "Die Bastard", etc.

It did have us in hysterics for weeks.

Before the flamewar begins I'd like to mention, we were 13ish at the time.

[Coyote]

Best I ever did was for my best friend.

Wrote a letter on his behalf, saying that her association with <insert his name> and Partners had been terminated. Very professional looking (even made up a letter head). Then to top it off we included a questionaire, with such brilliant questions as How do you feel about <insert his name> now? and What are your thought on the price of fish?

Amazingly she did actually return the questionaire, but her answers pretty much solely constisted of "Fuck you Asshole", "Die Bastard", etc.

It did have us in hysterics for weeks.

Before the flamewar begins I'd like to mention, we were 13ish at the time.
:lol: nice one

[toads]

Nah its ok Toads...have a panadole and lie down. Some one just decided to post figuring I was a bloke. COS only blokes ride bikes ah :P

I had gathered that, just really felt for ya, getting lumped into the bloke catergory all unexpected like, bit of a shock to the system.

[ajturbo]

soooo MD

you single.......
me to.....
and i dive.....
i have just enrolled luke into a dive course......

:innocent: :innocent: :innocent:

andy

[Riff Raff]

soooo MD

you single.......
:innocent: :innocent: :innocent:

andy

Nooooooooooo, I was going to try and set her up with a toyboy!!!

[ajturbo]

i have a toy!! :2guns: and boy i know which end to use...! :Pokey:

[Hitcher]

She saw him standing in the section marked
"If you have to ask, you can't afford it" lingerie
She threw him bread and said "Make me scream"
In the dark, what could he say

Boys with small talk and small minds
Really don't impress me in bed
She said I need a man's man baby, diamonds and furs
Love would only conquer my head...

[Wonko]

What's the upper limit on age for this toy boy position?

What is the future potential of this roll?

Will there be room for growth, and is the postion flexable enough for me to enjoy?

Is there a retirement package, or at least oral care?

Will there be a physical examination before employment?

[StoneChucker]

I like Peking Duck, not sure about MadDuck though. Can you catch anything? I don't want another spongifgorm encephalopathy...

XJ/Frosty - What was my dump line? I can't recall, possibly "I have to go, my drink is empty"? When I got back "she'd" changed teams and moved onto Cathy or HerB4 I think...

I am super inexperienced (shock, horror!) when it comes to these sorts of things, but I've only ever used a line once, and it was the "it's not you, it's me" cliche thats been beaten to death with a dead stick. But in my defense, she REALLY wasn't my type, and I'd need biological confirmation from a lab that she was infact of the same species as me (coming from me, you can imagine the situation).

[bungbung]

I believe Tony had fired her up by introducing you as:
"Meet Dave, his motorbike is much bigger than mine"

[Stevo]

I believe Tony had fired her up by introducing you as:
"Meet Dave, his motorbike is much bigger than mine"
:killingme LMAO :killingme


"sorry love but I have a New bike"

Some get it

[Paul in NZ]

I get that too. Was getting pretty worried there for a while and had to keep checking that I hadn't grown a penis!

Oh! I had to read that a few times...

This is a classic example of how things get confused and other blokes start to think you could actually be a bloke! Most blokes keep checking to see if their penis has grown in the last 5 minutes....

Paul N

[Riff Raff]

This is a classic example of how things get confused and other blokes start to think you could actually be a bloke! Most blokes keep checking to see if their penis has grown in the last 5 minutes....
Paul N
:killingme: :killingme:

[Paul in NZ]

When you are young and into bikes most girl friends are self dumping!

Occasionaly a particularly pesky one might need to be disposed of but this is easily done by professing a sudden interest in strange sexual practices. The chief danger of this approach being that she may secret harbour similar interests!

But then the chances of finding 2 people on the same continent that fancy a session with latex clad dwarves smeared in dripping and stuffing drunk gerbils up your fundimental orifices to attract out the randy weasels is quite remote. In my experience anyway!

The last 40 posts seem the longest....

[NC]

I can't remember all of them but...

Cya...
You make me feel sick..
Yeah I've had enough...
Whats the time? Time for you to get out of my life.
Dumpsville. population, You! ( Big ups for the simpsons for that one, it was so good I used it twice).
I have something important to do today. That's right, dumping you.
Me:I only have a 250, you can't come on the back.
BF: When will I see you next?
Me: Never, DUH!

Oh they get worse, and just to save face. I won't post them.

[BRIANO]

Missed out on the chocy bar but I would have picked he said....

Your bike is better than mine. I need some time out to save.??

No? anyone? no?

[Riff Raff]

But then the chances of finding 2 people on the same continent that fancy a session with latex clad dwarves smeared in dripping and stuffing drunk gerbils up your fundimental orifices to attract out the randy weasels is quite remote. In my experience anyway!

:eek5:
I think this is worthy of classic quotes!

[Riff Raff]

:eek5:
I think this is worthy of classic quotes!

And now it is done

[BRIANO]

[QUOTE=Paul in NZ]...stuffing drunk gerbils up your fundimental orifices to attract out the randy weasels is quite remote. In my experience anyway!

QUOTE]

You're the guy the SPCA is chasing, aren't you.

[MOTOXXX]

i knew a mate that txt "game over" to his g/f and
avoided all her calls etc.

[Hitcher]

i knew a mate that txt "game over" to his g/f and
avoided all her calls etc.
Gutless prick.

[Yokai]

Gutless prick.
Man - that's a harsh way to dump someone. You could at least have given her the full sentence - "You're a gutless prick."
:lol:

[Paul in NZ]

[QUOTE=Paul in NZ]...stuffing drunk gerbils up your fundimental orifices to attract out the randy weasels is quite remote. In my experience anyway!

QUOTE]

You're the guy the SPCA is chasing, aren't you.

If they wanted the weasels back all they had to do was ask...

Paul N

[Biff]

"Don't be concerned about those strange sores on my little warrior my dear, where I come from they're considered something to be proud of" - Taxi

[Sparky Bills]

Just told my (ex) girlfriend to piss off, after finding out she had been cheating!!!
:finger:
So am NOW SINGLE!!! YEAH!!
Bring on the life! :shifty:

Toy Boy for hire here ladies!!

[Skunk]

Toy Boy for hire here ladies!!Comes with own sleeping bag too I hear. :laugh:

[NC]

Just told my (ex) girlfriend to piss off, after finding out she had been cheating!!!
:finger:
So am NOW SINGLE!!! YEAH!!
Bring on the life! :shifty:

Toy Boy for hire here ladies!!
Don't you have to be young?

[MOTOXXX]

Don't you have to be young?

21 isnt young?

[Sparky Bills]

Thats 20 thankyou very much!!

[NC]

Thats 20 thankyou very much!!
:gob: Thought you were older :bleh:

[Sparky Bills]

:gob: Thought you were older :bleh:


Sorry but I am only 20.
I do get that alot though.

[NC]

Sorry but I am only 20.
I do get that alot though.
Talk of the retirement village,eh?

[Sparky Bills]

Yeah, They are gonna do me trade.
Really looking for to not having to chew my food!
And I can whistle and bark at the nurses without being slapped.
Sounds like a pretty sweet life!

[MadDuck]

LMFAO...thanks you lot it has been entertaining re-reading the thread. Ummmm yes I was a tad ummmm DRUNK. But boy it felt good to just let it out.

Sooooooo yes the MD is single and keen to go on all slow rides unless the weather improves for the diving. Come to think of it me off to the Barrier next week for a week of divin (those crays dont stand a chance), fishin, drinkin and just chilling.

[ajturbo]

LMFAO...thanks you lot it has been entertaining re-reading the thread. Ummmm yes I was a tad ummmm DRUNK. But boy it felt good to just let it out.

Sooooooo yes the MD is single and keen to go on all slow rides unless the weather improves for the diving.



i love the sloooow rides..and the fast...and sloooow..... :innocent:



Come to think of it me off to the Barrier next week for a week of divin (those crays dont stand a chance), fishin, drinkin and just chilling.


soooo our date for next week is off then?
your dumping me with out a second thought?...or a first chance to piss you off?







next.....

[MadDuck]

soooo our date for next week is off then?
your dumping me with out a second thought?...or a first chance to piss you off?

next.....

oopss...we had a date. I must stay off the alcoholic beverages and KB at the same time. Dont leave til Friday :buggerd:

[James Deuce]

(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail? R
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail? R
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail? F
Relationship failed.

Works irrespective of whether or not the chick herself is a geek or not.

[jrandom]

You know...

Come to think of it...

I've never dumped anybody.

Hot damn, I'm *such* a nice guy.

[Ghost Lemur]

You know...

Come to think of it...

I've never dumped anybody.

Hot damn, I'm *such* a nice guy.

You mean they all just jumped, screaming out of your second story bedroom window in the morning?

:msn-wink: