Police Infringement Bureau secures jrandom as satisfied customer

[jrandom]

We're always complaining about the cops on this forum, so I thought I'd share a positive story for a change.

Y'see, the other weekend, I was ticketed twice, by two different Highway Patrol officers, for speeding on the Napier-Taupo road.

Of course, being, as I am, a reckless and dangerous lawbreaker, I was already on 125 points and awaiting a suspension letter.

Fortunately, it turned out that paying both those new tickets quick-smart and getting the points from them onto my licence before I surrendered it would mean that I'd get it back free of any demerit points three months later.

So I trotted into the Parnell Westpac, brace of tickets in hand, and paid my $290.

A week of hiding under the bed every time the licence collector man knocks on the door passes, and I call LTNZ to check whether the points have been recorded against my licence.

Nope. Call the Police Infringement Bureau, they say.

So I do.

PIB: "One of the tickets you mention, yes, jolly good, thank you for paying that, it takes up to two weeks to record the points with LTNZ."

Hmm. OK. Fuckin' bureaucracy.

But the other ticket?

PIB: "Sorry, sir, we have no record of that other ticket being issued."

Me: "I got it two weeks ago! The lazy snake that wrote it must have left it sitting in his glovebox. I have his officer number here; can you call him and give him a tickle-up so that I can get this processed onto my licence?"

PIB: "ROFL. LOL. LMAO. Of course not. Fuck off."

Me: "You suck. I'm calling the PCA."

PIB: "Awesome! Here's their 0800 number."

*ring ring*

*ring ring*

PCA: "Hi there. Share and enjoy!"

Me: "Uh. Thanks. Officer TRG906 is a slackarse. Can you give him a tickle-up? I want these points on my licence so that they get cleared when I surrender it."

PCA: "Office TRG906 does indeed sound like a lazy motherfucker. However, it takes about six months to go through our complaint process. I reckon you should just call Inspector Spongebob* back at the PIB. He doesn't like lazy motherfuckers."

* name changed for privacy reasons

Me: "Sweet."

*ring ring*

*ring ring*

Inspector Spongebob: "Hi there, citizen. How may I protect and serve you today?"

Me: "Officer TRG906 is a lazy motherfucker. I've paid my tickets and I want the points recorded already so that they're not still there when I finish my suspension. Can you give him a tickle-up?"

Inspector Spongebob: "Sure. I'll call you back once I've gotten hold of him."

*fast forward to later*

*jrandom's cellphone rings*

Inspector Spongebob: "Officer TRG906 has been duly chastised. Your ticket is now in the system. My apologies for the inconvenience. Please don't hesitate to call back in future should you experience further difficulties receiving just and timely penalties for your vicious crimes."

Me: "Thank you, Inspector Spongebob. I want to be a policeman when I grow up."

So, folks, the moral of the story is, if bureacracy is mucking you around, there's almost always some codgy underworked old bastard in Wellington who'll be more than happy to hurry it along.

:niceone:

[enigma51]

Whoooooo lives in pinaplle under the sea

[vifferman]

Awwwww....
That was a really lovely little story, Mr jrandom. :niceone:
It brought a smile to my dial, and a wee tear to my eye.

Please tell us another one.

[jrandom]

Whoooooo lives in pinaplle under the sea

Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!

:woohoo:

[R6_kid]

Seems that all the 'good' cops are either investigating real crime, or in an office in wellington. Pity it's such an effort to get things sorted out quick smart.

[fireball]

im surprised you can hide under you bed.......

:bleh:

[jrandom]

im surprised you can hide under you bed...

I am a man of many talents.

[sels1]

Good story
Shame about the 3 month walk.
A least you will have it back for summer

[oldrider]

It must be an age thing. :wari:

When I finished reading that I sort of felt like I had just been talking to a turkey complaining about thanksgiving taking too long to get here! :confused:

I wonder how I will know when dementia actually takes over. :eek5: Cheers John.

[sinfull]

It must be an age thing. :wari:

When I finished reading that I sort of felt like I had just been talking to a turkey complaining about thanksgiving taking too long to get here! :confused:

I wonder how I will know when dementia actually takes over. :eek5: Cheers John.

There ya go John ! Remember posting that ?

[sinfull]

It must be an age thing. :wari:

When I finished reading that I sort of felt like I had just been talking to a turkey complaining about thanksgiving taking too long to get here! :confused:

I wonder how I will know when dementia actually takes over. :eek5: Cheers John.
There ya go John ! Remember posting that ?

[oldrider]

There ya go John ! Remember posting that ?

Who the hell is John?????

[ManDownUnder]

Good story
Shame about the 3 month walk.
A least you will have it back for summer

Stickchick can take him pillion... get some of her own back on him...

[KiwiRat]

So what happens if you "miss" the licence collector guy when he makes his couple of attempts to contact you?

I got a couple of flyers with a Baycorp letterhead, and a cellphone number, along with the cryptic "Call me, insert name here."

I'm not behind on any debt, so in the bin they went.

Turns out he's the guy with the 3 month bus ticket.

Can I surrender my licence, or do I have to wait for the next checkpoint? I would prefer not to be stuck on the side of the road having to ring for a trailer home, know what I mean?

[EJK]

Woohoo Nice read :niceone:
You write like Michael Crichton! Enjoyed every word!

You've got too much blings so no more! :nono:




.....Aargh... I'm far too kind... :(

[sinfull]

So what happens if you "miss" the licence collector guy when he makes his couple of attempts to contact you?

I got a couple of flyers with a Baycorp letterhead, and a cellphone number, along with the cryptic "Call me, insert name here."

I'm not behind on any debt, so in the bin they went.

Turns out he's the guy with the 3 month bus ticket.

Can I surrender my licence, or do I have to wait for the next checkpoint? I would prefer not to be stuck on the side of the road having to ring for a trailer home, know what I mean?
From recent experience (2 weeks 6 days and 4 hours ago) the cop would have to be an arse to strand ya (but they can and impound yr bike) word to the wise for any uninsured here , i was told by someone who has had the experience that if they arrest you they become liable for the safety of the bike, if you are not arrested you are liable !
You can surrender yr licence to LTSA
After a couple of visits the collector will send it back to LTSA and then they flag your licence number (took them 6 months till i got stopped at a check point) So if ya want it for summer, Pay up yr fines so all the points are added as JR has mentioned and hand it in quick or be very carefull not to get stopped till yr ready !

[Mikkel]

Good read. :clap:

[SPman]

I find leaving the country for a while, is a good way to loose demerits - if you aren't in the country, you can't keep offending so the points slide off the end.

Of course, there are then the demerits incurred in the new country! Bugger!

Oh well - back to NZ for a while, I guess!

[Morcs]

Was a good read.

Must be the week for good cops.

I got pulled over yesterday, me also being a reckless and lawbreaking type, and didnt get a ticket, in fact, I wanted to have a general chit chat for a bit longer. wasnt used to the 'license please. okay you can go'...

[kiwifruit]

slow down.

[Stickchick]

Stickchick can take him pillion... get some of her own back on him...

As much as I would love to get my own back....I could never do that to my poor EL :msn-wink:

[more_fasterer]

You're commending the cops for you aiding them in issuing you a ticket?


Did you post this on the wrong forum or something?

[jrandom]

You're commending the cops for you aiding them in issuing you a ticket?

No.

For aiding me in making sure that a ticket I've already received doesn't end up leaving points on my driver's licence.

:yes:

[Ixion]

As much as I would love to get my own back....I could never do that to my poor EL :msn-wink:

tell him you are taking over Betty for the 3 months. At least.

[jrandom]

tell him you are taking over Betty for the 3 months. At least.

She's welcome to.

As soon as she can lift Betty off the sidestand.

:laugh:

[Patrick]

From recent experience (2 weeks 6 days and 4 hours ago) the cop would have to be an arse to strand ya (but they can and impound yr bike) word to the wise for any uninsured here , i was told by someone who has had the experience that if they arrest you they become liable for the safety of the bike, if you are not arrested you are liable !
You can surrender yr licence to LTSA
After a couple of visits the collector will send it back to LTSA and then they flag your licence number (took them 6 months till i got stopped at a check point) So if ya want it for summer, Pay up yr fines so all the points are added as JR has mentioned and hand it in quick or be very carefull not to get stopped till yr ready !

A couple of errors here... Can't impound unless previously suspended...
Not responsible for your bike if you're arrested - you get the option to call a towie, at your expense, to remove your bike for ya....

[sels1]

Can I surrender my licence, or do I have to wait for the next checkpoint?

Yes. The sooner you send it in the sooner you get it back. Send it in now and have it back by summer. Hold on to it and you run the risk of losing it during the best riding season.

[sinfull]

A couple of errors here... Can't impound unless previously suspended...
Not responsible for your bike if you're arrested - you get the option to call a towie, at your expense, to remove your bike for ya....

Ok, take ya word on that one Patrick !
first one i see where ya coming from, was just hearsay off folk that led me to believe otherwise (but they may have been priviously suspended !
Second one, i understood that if you were asked to accompany the police to the station that you were liable for your bike unless you are arrested. Then the onus is on them to ensure its safety (not necessarilly to do with licence suspension for excess demerit points on the roadside)
But of course i can't substanciate that, as it again was hearsay !
On ya for clarifying !

[Coyote]

Matched word for word I assume?

[jrandom]

Matched word for word I assume?

Professional journalistic standards demand nothing less.

[NZsarge]

Inspector Spongebob does indeed sound like a good c*nt!

[KiwiRat]

From recent experience (2 weeks 6 days and 4 hours ago) ...............


A couple of errors here... Can't impound unless previously suspended...
Not responsible for your bike if you're arrested - you get the option to call a towie, at your expense, to remove your bike for ya....

Thanks lads. I suppose i should just bite the bullet and get it out of the way.

3 months for 170 points aint such a bad deal I suppose. :devil2:

[Sanx]

... pinaplle ...

Who lives in a what under the sea?

[Swoop]

Send it in now and have it back by summer. Hold on to it and you run the risk of losing it during the best riding season.
:scratch: Summer is not necessarily the "best" riding season. But each to their own.

[sinfull]

Thanks lads. I suppose i should just bite the bullet and get it out of the way.

3 months for 170 points aint such a bad deal I suppose. :devil2:
Were my thoughts exactly (been sitting around the 170 180 mark since january)! The cop who took it off me was quite a good bloke too and I knew i was walking the minute he asked for the licence, We were having a bit of chuckle about how the dog was gonna be the one to suffer most !
I'll drive the 15 km to the beach to walk the dog for 30 min every day for the last 18 months, but ya won't catch me walking down the highway outside my place !
I have relented and been out there on the old mountain bike getting towed by the trusty huskey though. Lol that was all good for the ride down to the river but i was near dragging her on the way back lol

[sels1]

:scratch: Summer is not necessarily the "best" riding season. But each to their own.

Fair comment, Autumn and sometimes spring are often better. But my point was it is better to be without a licence now, and have it back for the time of year when there is the most holidays, bike rallys, racing events, track days fine weather, etc etc

[Patrick]

Second one, i understood that if you were asked to accompany the police to the station that you were liable for your bike unless you are arrested. Then the onus is on them to ensure its safety (not necessarilly to do with licence suspension for excess demerit points on the roadside)
But of course i can't substanciate that, as it again was hearsay !
On ya for clarifying !

Licence suspension is done there and then - up to you if ya want to risk driving off, (which usually ends badly) but usually the passenger can oblige, or other arrangements can be made (like get to your home destination by xxxx hours and it starts then).

As for leaving the car at the roadside, if you were drink driving, arrested or whatever and had to go back to the station, it is not our problem. You can call a towie and you can lock it up if ya want to but that is up to you. That is where our responsibility ends.

[Patch]

What a fucking load of old bollocks!!!

[jrandom]

What a fucking load of old bollocks!!!

Missus not putting out very regularly these days, Patch?

:laugh:

[rastuscat]

The system of demerits is a mix of good and bad. Remember when you used to get 6 months for collecting your 100 within a year?

The current system is designed to protect a commercial arrangement with the company with the contract to serve the letters. If they haven't had a couple of chances to serve (and so chances to invoice the govt for the attempts) the snakes can't take your licence. It's only after a couple of unsuccessful attempts at service that LTNZ enters you on Big Brother as someone the snakes can strand roadside.

Don't forget that you don't have to be driving when you are stopped to get served the 3 month walk. Even if you are a passenger in a car, a pedestrian or a cuclist not wearing a helmet, if the snake checks your ID on the system it will show you as wanted (dead, alive or disqualified).

The system is on for a shake up. There have been cases where young fellas in cars (or bikes) have run up over 400 points for breaching licence conditions before the system caught up with them. As a result the MoT is looking at a change to the practise, to allow the snakes to take your DL as soon as you go over 99 points. The commercial arrangement protection will end, in favour of getting the job done.

The system will just get worse too, as there is talk of demerits going up and fines coming down, so we'll have to stop whinging about revenue collecting. Well, some people will nere stop whinging about revenue collecting, it's their way to blame someone else for their law breaking.

[Patch]

Missus not putting out very regularly these days, Patch?

:laugh:
yip, three times this week. And she has just made me a coffee and some more breakfast. I'll sit an watch a movie or two then hav [/URL][URL="http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee149/patchTLR/how-to-draw-cartoons-102.jpg"]a (http://%5BIMG) . . . before the kids get home.

I'll wouldn't swap my life . . . for well . . . absolutely nothing actually.



Enjoy your day at the office - sucker :finger:

[jrandom]

I'll wouldn't swap my life . . . for well . . . absolutely nothing actually.

And yet you are still a grumpy and unpleasant man.

I suppose it takes all sorts.

:doobey:

[Patrick]

What a fucking load of old bollocks!!!

I assume this was aimed at me? Your g string on back to front again?

[Her_C4]

That was a really good read JR

BUT


It must be an age thing. :wari:

When I finished reading that I sort of felt like I had just been talking to a turkey complaining about thanksgiving taking too long to get here! :confused:

I wonder how I will know when dementia actually takes over. :eek5: Cheers John.

I gotta say Oldtimer, your response had me in stitches because I was thinking exactly the same thing... Excellent analogy.:laugh::doh::laugh::Offtopic::msn-wink:

[peasea]

What a fucking load of old bollocks!!!

Couldn't agree more. :clap:

[MaxB]

The system will just get worse too, as there is talk of demerits going up and fines coming down, so we'll have to stop whinging about revenue collecting. Well, some people will nere stop whinging about revenue collecting, it's their way to blame someone else for their law breaking.

Tui ad. This government will never take a large hit in fines revenue without clawing it back in other ways. I don't think that reducing certain fines will reduce revenue collecting. They will, as they always have, for example order an increase in the number of tickets to compensate. Just watch and wait.

[Patch]

And yet you are still a grumpy and unpleasant man.

Your opinion based on your perception on someone you hardly know. I am not the only one who thinks you talk a lot of shit. You have even admitted it.



I assume this was aimed at me?
Yes you assumed. Yes you are wrong. Read the posts and you might have some indication as to who I was referring too.



It is far better to have people think you are an idiot than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Shame some people have no idea what this means.

[Max Preload]

:scratch: Summer is not necessarily the "best" riding season. But each to their own.

Indeed. I prefer autumn.

[jrandom]

Your opinion based on your perception on someone you hardly know.

As is yours; you seem to take it as your moral obligation to follow me around the forum posting grunts like 'Bollocks!' to half the things I write.

I can only assume that something annoys you which you don't quite have the facility to describe.

:blink:


I am not the only one who thinks you talk a lot of shit.

Well, constructive criticism is always valued.

Why don't you give it a go, and tell me what, exactly, you didn't like about my story?

:sunny:

[Patch]

As is yours; you seem to take it as your moral obligation to follow me around the forum posting grunts like 'Bollocks!' to half the things I write.

I can only assume that something annoys you which you don't quite have the facility to describe.

Fark don't flatter yourself Mr. Random, given your post count if the above was true, then my post count would be alot higher - so like I said, bollocks.

You assume alot of things, why would I spend the time explaining your assumptions with justifications I can't be fucked with. Justify shit with more shit - why??

You talk a lot of shit, I make a couple of pokes about it and are then required by you to justify it . . .


I have more than enuff facility to run rings around you, the question you should ask yourself "is perhaps why do I not?"

[CB ARGH]

Good shit right there. :2guns:

[jrandom]

I make a couple of pokes about it...

It's not a matter of a 'couple of pokes'. It's the fact that you feel compelled to 'ave a go more or less every other time I post something.

The problem is, you never post anything of substance in return, just "bah, bullshit!", etc. Why bother? It makes you sound angry and thoughtless.

If you weren't in a tiny minority with your dislike of my posts, I'd take your annoyance into consideration, but the fact that plenty of people appeared to enjoy my story indicates to me that you have issues of your own.

I do tend to make enemies of bad-tempered stupid people. It's a pity, but that's the way it always has been. You wouldn't be the first of that sort to dislike me, and I'm sure you won't be the last.

Ho hum!

:sunny:

[Patrick]

Yes you assumed. Yes you are wrong. Read the posts and you might have some indication as to who I was referring too.



It is far better to have people think you are an idiot than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Shame some people have no idea what this means.

Your post was immediately after mine, some 20 minutes afterward, and a good day after your bitch fight with jrandom...:girlfight: hence the query and assumption. Easy to make, for this idiot....:sunny:

FWIW - The narrow stringy bit of the "G" goes at the back...