Stereotype beer drinkers

[mark247]

I randomly found this on the internet and though it was spot on. Worth the read. Add your own beer stereotypes if you please.

Beer and those who drink 'em
Jan 15, 2005
Author: Bruce Holloway

I was amused to read an email from a barman, who after years of research, drew a correlation between Kiwi stereotypes and their attraction to certain beer brands or styles.

Some of them are cruel _ but don't shoot me, I'm only the messenger here. For instance, if you are lacking even an ounce of personality or wear adidas clobber, chances are you drink Heineken.

And those of you who watch too much TV are apparently all Speight's drinkers. It gets worse.

Poncey gits with slutty girlfriends drink Corona (though sadly there is no hint on what the girlfriends consumed).

People who don't get out much ask for Waikato, but will always settle for Lion Red.

Cardigan-wearers drink Monteith's and middle-class urbanites go for Mac's Gold.

It's Tui or Export Gold for anyone at university, while tourists go for Speight's Old Dark.

The Corona observation was a truly inspired insight, but from my reading, many of the others appeal as marginal propositions at best. So, purely as an antidote to the community excesses of seasonal goodwill, I've compiled my own equally prejudiced list of beer demographics.

* Adolescents too young to get into pubs drink Ice beer. The saddest cases drink Black Ice.

* Used car salesmen drink Heineken.

* Sickness beneficiaries drink Ranfurly Draught.

* Techno-geeks, lawyers and politicians drink Steinlager.

* Rugby league and softball fans drink Lion Red, but would settle for Waikato.

* Gang members and bogans drink Waikato, but would settle for Lion Red.

* Anoraks and trainspotters drink Rheineck, with a touch of lemonade.

* People who go to the supermarket in bare feet drink DB Double Brown.

* Petrolheads with unnecessarily noisy 1300cc cars drink Foster's.

* Pipe smokers and men with greying beards drink Guinness.

* People trying really hard to impress drink Stella Artois.

* Less astute people trying really hard to impress drink Flame beer.

* Farmers, and people who don't know any better, drink DB Draught or Lion Brown.

* Tomboys drink Export Gold, usually straight from the bottle.

* People who don't like the taste of beer drink Monteith's Summer Ale.

* Women who are "up for it" drink Crown lager.

* Radio Pacific listeners drink anything, as long as it comes in a flagon.

* Bargain hunters drink Tuborg.

* Eden Park cricket fans drink Export Gold because they have no bloody choice.

* Journalists drink anything if it's free.

* Does anyone drink Mac's Gold?

Found at http://www.realbeer.co.nz/alefiles/beer_writers/bruce_holloway/article_2005_02_28_4650.php

[eliot-ness]

Tight bastards like me drink whatever's the cheapest at the supermarket. The upside is that when the kids and grandkids call in they've learned to bring their own and I can bludge a few of theirs.

[Dooly]

Is the lite version of Corona, a Corolla?:lol:

[Big Dave]

Bikers drink Bourbon. Double in a tall glass, thanks.

[Trudes]

I like Speights, but will go a Crown Larger when in Aussie.

[MisterD]

People who know what beer is supposed to taste like drink Brewjolais.

[avgas]

Poncey gits with slutty girlfriends drink Corona (though sadly there is no hint on what the girlfriends consumed).

* Does anyone drink Mac's Gold?

I can answer the Corona thing - Corona has the longest neck, so it reaches the deepest point (hence the slutty GF)........the rest of that story is far to over 18 for some here, and far to under 40 for the rest of you swingers.

I used to drink Mac's Gold - but then they sold out.

Now i drink my lovely Japanese Sapporo - brewed and shipped straight from Canada???:doh::Oi::eek:

[The Lone Rider]

We americans (and The Redneck) drink Miller :)

[GurlRacer]

NZ - Tui :D
Norway/Denmark - Tuborg/Carlsberg. I even had a beer at the Carlsberg factory in Copenhagen :D woohoo!

[Tank]

We americans (and The Redneck) drink Miller :)

having been to the South a lot - I can tell you that real rednecks cannot afford Miller.

They drink something even worse (shudder)

[avgas]

We americans (and The Redneck) drink Miller :)
lol dont lie - you drink BUD light

[avgas]

having been to the South a lot - I can tell you that real rednecks cannot afford Miller.

They drink something even worse (shudder)
Cerveso's? Mexican piss water?
That stuff is tasty

[awayatc]

For people with taste...........

http://www.austrianbeer.co.uk/images/grolsch.jpg

[kiwifruit]

its all about drinking, a great deal of Beer

[alanzs]

We americans (and The Redneck) drink Miller :)

Representing the West Coast - Let's not forget Coors or even Coors Lite; "From Golden Colorado." Or Olympia; "It's the water, and a lot more." :sweatdrop :woohoo:

[Murray]

What about the great Wellington Beer Lion Brown. best beer in NZ when they released the Brewery Fresh brew a few years ago.. Pity they didn't keep producing it!!!! Went back to the tried and true - a real beer

[Pussy]

For people with taste...........



Can you still get grolsch with the wire top, awayatc?

[Pussy]

Mac's Gold or Black Mac for me... don't give a shit about stereotypes.
I get too shit-faced on Stella Artois, even I can't understand what I'm saying...

[mark247]

What about the great Wellington Beer Lion Brown. best beer in NZ when they released the Brewery Fresh brew a few years ago.. Pity they didn't keep producing it!!!! Went back to the tried and true - a real beer

Is it even better than Ranfurly or Castle Point?

[awayatc]

Can you still get grolsch with the wire top, awayatc?

Sure can...the original "beugel" stocked at various supermarkets....top shelf....single bottles.....

[wickle]

Bikers drink Bourbon. Double in a tall glass, thanks.
Some drink rum

[The Pastor]

* People who go to the supermarket in bare feet drink DB Double Brown.


That is so true its uncanny.

[fireball]

i work in a bar and most of those are pretty bang on :lol:

they forgot

the old guys who are married and miserable and want to leave their wives drink murphys stout

the single man in the corner drinking amstel wants to be noticed but wont talk to anyone

the slutty girls buying cheap cocktails wanting to get drunk and throw themselves on the next sugar daddy to walk in the door

[Deviant]

Crown Lager - A classy beer with a great taste, for experienced beer drinkers. Suitable for all occassions.

Lion Red- For bogans and rugby heads. A good beer with a bit of a rough and manly image. Often drunk by real blokes and people wanting to man up their image a bit.

Steinlager- Die hard rugby heads and poor people think drinking this beer will make them cool and tough. It'll actually make them pissed assholes with a cracking headache in the morning. Tastes like crap too.

Export- Young people, women, and students drink this watered down version of lion red. It tastes weak, bland, and watery, and can often be found on tap at bars offering 5 drinks for $10 on a Monday night, or at the rugby, where they only sell shitty beer to stop people getting too pissed.

Flame- $1 a beer, because it's fucking awful. Can be found in the fridges of alcoholics after a cheap buzz, people who don't usually buy beer, or try hard teens who like the branding. Nobody cool ever buys Flame.

Steinlager Pure/Monteith's NZ Lager/Speights Summit- All great beers, not much of a hangover, and rather pricey. Usually bought when going to a party or other social gathering, as it makes you look cool to hold these beers rather than a can of Red or Speights Gold. Unfortunately, everyone else will have the same beers because it's the nicest drop in the fridge, and people will help themselves.

Speights Gold- A good cheap drop proudly drunk by South Islanders.

Corona- Cat piss that the Mexicans hate, and which never had lime or lemon put in the bottle prior to being marketed outside of Mexico. I can only guess that the citrus is to cover the horrible taste. Drunk by pretentious gits.

Bruer- Only got $10? Want to get pissed? Don't like to share? Get Bruer, nobody will touch it. Or just get a couple of $5 bottles of wine.

Tui- A nice drop when done properly and fresh from the tap, with a bit of a honeyinsh taste and a rich aroma. Popular with students and drunks thanks to the great "Yeah right!" marketing campaign.

Guiness- Irish people and drinkers with something to prove drink this rich Stout. Not a bad drink by any means, but it's an acquired taste so people who've acquired it like to show it. Very popular on St Patrick's Day.

Kilkenny/Boddington/Murphy's Red- great beers, much in the line of Guiness Stout but nicer. Drunk by people who appreciate good beer and don't care what others think of their choice of drink. These people will be spotted at bars surrounded by Guiness drinkers bragging about how many they once drank, before throwing up a black river.

NZ Lager (not the Monteith's version)- Drunk by homeless people in Aotea Square and under Grafton Bridge.

[Tank]

the slutty girls buying cheap cocktails wanting to get drunk and throw themselves on the next sugar daddy to walk in the door

Now we're talking :woohoo::woohoo:

[mark247]

* People who go to the supermarket in bare feet drink DB Double Brown.


That is so true its uncanny.

That is the one i thought was the most spot on as well. I cant think of a single nz lager drinker who doesnt do that.

[Bren]

We americans (and The Redneck) drink Miller :)
If I could get Shiner Bock here that is what I would drink...But MGD is my favorite beer of all the ones I can get in NZ
still got 22 sitting here that need to be polished off...and 1/2 doz Miller Chill, and 2 Carlsbergs....plus almost a full bottle of Famous Grouse Whisky...but no one to drink with cos the wife has left me....for a short time anyway


Representing the West Coast - Let's not forget Coors or even Coors Lite; "From Golden Colorado." Or Olympia; "It's the water, and a lot more." :sweatdrop :woohoo:
...no thanks...almost as bad as Budweiser...




Carlsberg is my back up....and if all else fails it would be Tui

[The Lone Rider]

If I could get Shiner Bock here that is what I would drink...But MGD is my favorite beer of all the ones I can get in NZ
still got 22 sitting here that need to be polished off...and 1/2 doz Miller Chill, and 2 Carlsbergs....plus almost a full bottle of Famous Grouse Whisky...but no one to drink with cos the wife has left me....for a short time anyway


...no thanks...almost as bad as Budweiser...




Carlsberg is my back up....and if all else fails it would be Tui

Why oh why are you not coming to the CKMC birthday bash.. and delivering me some of those millers?

[alanzs]

Corona- Cat piss that the Mexicans hate, and which never had lime or lemon put in the bottle prior to being marketed outside of Mexico. I can only guess that the citrus is to cover the horrible taste. Drunk by pretentious gits.

I lived in Mexico and and am from LA and you are right, most locals didn't want to drink that shit. There are some good Mexican beers; Sol Cerveza and Modelo come to mind. But, like anything, especially taste, to each their own. :beer:

Its like here, Jose Cuervo tequila is almost the only tequila you can buy. Thats the worst tequila made, IMHO. The name means Joe Crow. No self respecting tequila drinker in the know would drink it. I heard it is good for cleaning the corrosion on your car battery terminals, like coca-cola. The problem is that here, there are only a few importers of tequila. There are tequila bars back in LA that literally have hundreds of different types of tequila. :drool:

The pretenses comes into play when people buy an imported beer that is crap in its home locale and think its so great because its expensive and how bitchen they are because they drink it. :clap:

[alanzs]

...no thanks...almost as bad as Budweiser...

Just kidding, Bud is probably the worst. How they call that beer, I never understood. The water in the area is hardly drinkable. I used to live down the street from their brewery in LA. The stench was horrible. The only good thing was for years, whenever guests came over, we'd take them there on the brewery tour and at the end they gave all-you-can-drink free samples.

Free beer=good beer. :woohoo: I think Homer said that. Homer Simpson.

[Sully60]

Sol for crazy Mexican wannbe plutos.


Like me amigo, loco!

[Skyryder]

I don't see any 'bikers' beer. :drinkup:


Skyryder

[MisterD]

I don't see any 'bikers' beer. :drinkup:


Skyryder

Vaux Double maxim, Percy Arms, Newcastle upon Tyne.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2155/2234978792_1ec1452290.jpg?v=1201879107

[pete376403]

Old Dark keeps you regular. for people of a certain age, thats important.

[Deviant]

if you ride a bike, drink crown kager. it's classy and tastes good, can't go wrong, makes bikers look cool!

[sidecar bob]

Can we turn this thread now to what these beers mean if you recieve a 6 pack from someone you have done a favour for?
What do they say about the giver & what you mean to them.
P.S, You cant go wrong buying me Heineken, Or 'Ken as i prefer to call him.

[BIHB@0610]

Can we turn this thread now to what these beers mean if you recieve a 6 pack from someone you have done a favour for?
What do they say about the giver & what you mean to them.
P.S, You cant go wrong buying me Heineken, Or 'Ken as i prefer to call him.

I'll buy you Heineken if you buy me Radler! Drawing on what's been posted here that must mean I think you're a bit like a car salesman, and you must think I'm like a cardigan-wearing middle class wonk ........

But hey - it's not the beer, it's how we're drinking it! :buggerd: