1962 Safety Rules from Honda

[TonyB]

Saw this today on the EXUPbrotherhood web site:
Taken from a 1962 Honda Motor Cycle Instruction Book. Translated by Honda for the American Motorcycle Rider:

1. At the rise of the hand by Policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass him by or otherwise disrespect him.

2. When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage, tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.

3. Beware of the wandering horse that he shall not take fright as you pass him. Do not explode the exhaust box at him. Go soothingly by.

4. Give big space to the festive dog that makes sport in roadway. Avoid entanglement of dog with wheel spokes.

5. Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon. Press the brake foot as you roll around the corners, and save the collapse and tie up.

[Waylander]

Umm I think that needs another translation.:spudwhat:

[Biff]

Fork I laughed.

Now I know where I've been going wrong all these years, I'm forever exploding my exhaust boxes at horses! :2thumbsup

[Aaron]

...tootel the horn trumpet melodiously at first
:lol: absolute classic :D

[Storm]

I shall take these words of wisdom on board and always remember to apply them to my riding, especially preventing entaglements with spokes :done:

[bugjuice]

wow, I've been looking for that edge to my riding skills, now I know!!
May all of you take note at this gentlemans posting, and be merry and gay on your way :ride:

[Motu]

I am the skid demon,go smoothly on my greased mud.

[saiko]

What a hoot

[saiko]

I should think it's simple enough for say, 20%, of Yanks to understand

[pritch]

I'm forever exploding my exhaust boxes at horses!


I think they meant the bikes' exhaust boxes :-)

[FzerozeroT]

yoink, I'll have one of those thankyou :niceone:

[FzerozeroT]

tada!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Wolf]

yoink, I'll have one of those thankyou :niceone:
Yep, Me too. Too good to pass up. Cheers TonyB. Rep comin' at ya

[F5 Dave]

Yeah, but how does one "tootel the horn trumpet melodiously"??

[bungbung]

I shall scan somw pages from the owners manual that belongs to Lisa's PGO scooter. It's quality chinglish with helpful diagrams.

[Wolf]

Yeah, but how does one "tootel the horn trumpet melodiously"??
Especially with the tinny little horns most the Jap bikes have - the ones I've ridden, anyway.

The horn on my old Zundapp was rusted to death so I put a japper horn on it - until I remembered that I had the horns off my old Triumph Herald in the shed - that made an improvement.

[Ixion]

You can actually get those musical airhorns but you must wire them so they only make a constant note

VIR Manual

Reason for Rejection
..
3. The sound from the horn is not continuous, eg, the
horn plays a tune.
4. The horn is not audible at a distance of at least
100 m.

[Wolf]

Reason for Rejection
..
4. The horn is not audible at a distance of at least 100 m.
Then how the fark do most bike horns pass? I could scarcely hear the horn on most of the bikes I've owned (Triumph-Herald-Enhanced Zundapp being the main exception) while I was sitting on the bike. How is the driver of a cage a few feet away supposed to hear it with his windows wound up and his engine running? Surely my helmet isn't blocking out that much sound.

I appreciate that the bigger bikes most likely have better "warning systems". The BMW I took for a test spin had a loud horn - the salesman took great delight in scaring the shit out of me with it while I was bent down admiring the bike close-up (I wonder if he thought later that that was the reason I didn't end up buying it from him...)

[Ixion]

Exception being BMW. Mine was loud to start with, louder still once I added the air horns (original and trumpets sound together).

It is quite good to tootle a silly "starting to think about moving out in front of me" dozy twit and watch him/her visibly jump in their seat and get that "Oh God, there's huge truck coming at me" look on face.

I think really loud horns are a vital thing on a bike . Most sports bikes seem pretty pathetic though (I'm sure there are lots of exceptions, so hold the flames)

[bungbung]

<b>becareful when on slop or near slop!</b>

Scooter riding (after warning up the engine):

1. Hold the brake lever and push down the central stand.
2. Adjust the angle of rear view mirrors within visible field.
3. Try the function of signal light before riding.
4. Turn the throttle grip gradually then close the signal light during riding.

Accelerating (throttling):

Use the throttle grip control your cruise turning it to wards your
side will speed up, and reversing it will slow down.

BRAKE OPERATION

1. Release the throttle grip.
2. Press front and rear brake levers gradually.

NOTE:
1. Sudden stop will cause sliding or falling down.
2. Use the braking carefully while you are turning, improper use of brake may cause sliding.
3. Slow down the speed when riding on the iron plate, railway track, wet road.
4. Braking on the wet road is difficult.
5. Slow down the speed when sloping down.

ENGINE INITIAL RUN-IN
0~1,000 km riding will be the critical period regarding scooter life span. The new engine can’t afford too much loading during the first 1,000kms. Every part of the engine will be run- in to obtain the correct clearance in this period. Be sure to avoid prolonging the throttling out totally or any operation
causing high temperature in the engine. Please read careful the following information.
1 .0~150 km
Avoid over 1/2 throttling operation. Cool down the engine 5~10 min/ hour. Do not cruise by constant speed for riding.
2 .150~500 km
Avoid over 1/2 throttling operation for long riding.
3. 500~1,000 km
Avoid over 3/4 throttling operation.
NOTE:
Change gear & engine oil after 500 km.
4. OVER 1,000 KM
Avoid full throttling in a long riding.
NOTE:
Please contact your dealers if any problem takes place during above period

[Waylander]

I should think it's simple enough for say, 20%, of Yanks to understand

I must be one of the other 80% of Americans (not a bloody yank!! I'm from the south dammit!!:angry2: ) who have a decent command of the english language and can on occasion use big words that more acuratley describe what I am trying to comunicate to others.

[MSTRS]

Dunno how I missed this thread before. What a hoot!! Festive dogs sporting in the roadway - the mind boggles.

[Wolf]

I must be one of the other 80% of Americans (not a bloody yank!! I'm from the south dammit!!:angry2: )
Ohhhhh! That explains everything. :p

[jazbug5]

Bung bung, you made that up.
Me no beheave you.

[inlinefour]

but this one looks slightly modified than the one that I goto read in a Honda manual. :banana:

[bear]

Good old sixties manuals, surprised it didn't say anything about leaving the missus at home to prepare fresh baking from when you return from a demanding ride and need home comforts to assist you in recovering.

[TonyB]

Bung bung, you made that up.
Me no beheave you.
Naa, I bereive him. You should see the instruction sheet that comes with some of the cheap night latch door locks. Bloody good laugh they are. But you can see why they get confussled:
I was emailed this a while back:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

[Wolf]

Naa, I bereive him. You should see the instruction sheet that comes with some of the cheap night latch door locks. Bloody good laugh they are. But you can see why they get confussled:
Add to that different grammatical rules and, in the case of Chinese, no sex-differentiated pronouns - I had a Chinese friend who would say things like "I am going to visit my friend because he is going to lend me her bike." I didn't fully understand why until I started learning Cantonese and discovered there is only one word for the third-person pronoun.

[duckman]

I'm still a little concerned about:

If he still obstacles your passage, tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.

If some bugger is "Obstacling my passage" I'd be doing more than tooteling him, I can tell you!!! :shake: :yeah:

[Lias]

Cheers tony, i'll snag a tootle for my sig :-)

[Wolf]

2. When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage, tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.
Personally I prefer "When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, lean on your horn so it screams like a lost soul and express by word of mouth, warning Do that again you stupid mofo and I'll smack your farking lights out! Get off the road, you low-life twat!" I also like applying it to cagers.

Road Rage? Who, me? I'm merely an expressive kinda guy...

[Coldkiwi]

Personally I prefer "When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, lean on your horn so it screams like a lost soul and express by word of mouth, warning Do that again you stupid mofo and I'll smack your farking lights out! Get off the road, you low-life twat!" I also like applying it to cagers.

Road Rage? Who, me? I'm merely an expressive kinda guy...

Ho boy- I had an expressive moment like that when I made the mistake of trying to get down Albert St between the Auck Uni lib and the Quad. The lack of road sense of students there is only second to recent immigrants from asia when they cross roads (not being racist- just observing trends when driving around the CBD).
Traffic is gridlocked... students make sue of gaps between cars to cross (fine)
Traffic starts to move at the front, students keep making use of moving gaps (getting a bit dangerous)
Traffic is now all moving with narrow gaps and students are STILL walking out in front of cars that have to stop while they stand on the lane marker. Fecking arrogant eejits got a piece of my mind as I went past.

[Krayy]

Sounds like its time for a group trawl through http://www.engrish.com

My grandad had a mechanics manual from the 1920's that had an amazing chapter on how to drive "one of them new-fangled automobile thingys" that had some classic instructions like 'Find yourself a quiet road and practice driving down the centre of the road. Be sure to bring some draft horses who can pull it out of the ditches when you lose control".

Hmmm...

[SPORK]

If I can find it, I will post the BEST engrish ever seen. And I have the ORIGIONAL hard copy! Taken from a knock off of a RC brand. It's so awesome. I shall now search

[SPORK]

Well, that didn't take long... Here is the first part, aptly titled: "The Explain"

"To pay attention to

Please parent must read

Inside contain small spare parts, and please not to put the entrance inside, and then order to prevevntresult [sic] in the asphyxiation.

For avoid dangerous, the absoluteness can't give not the full and 3 years old child swim to play.

Please not in the raod wait the dangerous place to swim to play.

Please not the antenna to hang on the neck, the in order to prevent result in the asphyxiation.

Falsely be to using antenninang [sic] may result in dangerous, the absoluteness can't give not the full and 3 years olf child swim to play."



If anyone wants me to continue, I have about 4 pages of this, it's bloody aweosme!

[MiXeR]

I noticed nobody has replied yet, but since I've only just registered, and first thing is humor on my list (one can't just cry 'cause he's not riding) please continue, if you can still find the manual after all these months.

[Pixie]

I am the skid demon,go smoothly on my greased mud.
Is that similar to going like a greased weasel?

[Beemer]

Sounds like it was written by the same people who wrote the RG150 manual - one of my favourites was "to start the engine, deprese the kick etefter lever frocatully". Another beauty was "In order to ride a motorcycle properly, one should sit right so that he or she can control the motorcycle easily. This helps the rider feel comfortable and keep him or her away from the accident. Hips - sit in a position that dose not cause the sore on your shoulders and arms. Hands - hold the handles perfectly. Feet - place your feet in the middle of the pillion bar horisontally."

When changing gear - "shilt inio first gear by slowing the throttle grip toward you slowly to move forward the motorcycle. Shilt th next higher gear to obtain higher speed."

The battery one was great - "when the battery is almost empty noticed by the horn, making no sound, tunning lights do not flash, take your motorcycle to the center for battery check and recharge. Battery poles are right: + red, - black. Tighten them with nuts."

I think my favourite was the section on Speed and Sight. "The ability of human sight is around 200 when being still but when we move with a high speed, the eye sight will be narrowed. So the rider should pay a particular attention on a road, road signs, and traffic lights. The increased speed will make the sight around unclear whereas the distante sight can be seen clearly. So, the rider should look for away when riding in a high speed in oder to see in a wider radius."

And as for utter nonsense: "Front wheel and rear wtheel should be chacked, the wheelshoudnave conect pressuve, adequate =tread depth and hava no crack or cuts. Check ront brareoil hose and leaking."

Best bit of entertainment I'd had in a long time when I found that gem under the seat!

[Lou Girardin]

Go soothingly near the tax demon, for he makes sport with the licence eating dog.

[scumdog]

I've got the lot (as per TonBs post #1) hanging in the office, it's the standard training we get for high speed pursuits!!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

You try 'tootling with vigour while the sportive dog causes the speed demon to cause the collapse and entanglement'!!! while chasing somebody :motu:

[TonyB]

Go soothingly near the tax demon, for he makes sport with the licence eating dog.
Now THAT was brilliant!

[Smorg]

Confusha say

[terbang]

HOW TO RIDE MOTORCYCLES

1962 Safety Rules from Honda

Taken from a 1962 Honda Motor Cycle Instruction Book. Translated by
Honda for the American Motorcycle Rider

1. At the rise of the hand by Policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass
him by or otherwise disrespect him.

2. When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn
trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage,
tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.

3. Beware of the wandering horse that he shall not take fright as you
pass him. Do not explode the exhaust box at him. Go smoothingly by.

4. Give big space to the festive dog that makes sport in roadway.
Avoid entanglement of dog with wheel spokes.

5. Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon.
Press the brake foot as you roll around the corners, and save the
collapse and tie up.

[Maha]

2. When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn
trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage,
tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.



How polite we all must have been in 62'....:yes:
Any obstacles in my passage these days are easliy passed, all it takes is a stiff caffine mixture and a cigarette of the mild kind....im as regular as the next man...:innocent:

[steved]

That is terrible translation. Looks like they used an online translator or something.

I like the Skid Demon though.

[kneescraper]

Thank god I dont ride a Honda.

[ZeroIndex]

HOW TO RIDE MOTORCYCLES

1962 Safety Rules from Honda

Taken from a 1962 Honda Motor Cycle Instruction Book. Translated by
Honda for the American Motorcycle Rider

1. At the rise of the hand by Policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass
him by or otherwise disrespect him.

2. When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn
trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage,
tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.

3. Beware of the wandering horse that he shall not take fright as you
pass him. Do not explode the exhaust box at him. Go smoothingly by.

4. Give big space to the festive dog that makes sport in roadway.
Avoid entanglement of dog with wheel spokes.

5. Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon.
Press the brake foot as you roll around the corners, and save the
collapse and tie up.

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

[kneescraper]

I guess you find it funny..........

[yod]

HOW TO RIDE MOTORCYCLES

1962 Safety Rules from Honda



YES!! i knew there was a reason i had a honda.....

[Macktheknife]

5. Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon.
Press the brake foot as you roll around the corners, and save the
collapse and tie up.

One of my all time favourite quotes

[terbang]

That is terrible translation. Looks like they used an online translator or something.

I like the Skid Demon though.

Too right, but one flaw in the plan, they didn't have "online" in 1962.

[HDTboy]

rRRRRRREEEEPOOOSSSSTTTTAAAAAAAAHHHHH

[dogsnbikes]

YES!! i knew there was a reason i had a honda.....

And what is the reason? should be a good one while we wait for honda's :innocent:

[Korea]

5. Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon.


NO! :gob: It did not say that, really??? :killingme

That's classic - I'm changing my profile now...

[yod]

And what is the reason? should be a good one while we wait for honda's :innocent:

so i can use bizarre asian translations in my signature of course...why else?

[jtzzr]

[QUOTE=terbang;1086419]HOW TO RIDE MOTORCYCLES

2. When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn
trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage,
tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.

4. Give big space to the festive dog that makes sport in roadway.
Avoid entanglement of dog with wheel spokes.

I must try number 2, it`s much better than get off the fuckin road you cock sucking she-bitch.

And as for number 4 , I always try to avoid getting a dog entangled in my spokes, Man it`s like they could see into the future. "SPOOKY":yes: :yes:

[BarBender]

When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn
trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage,
tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.

Ok...Im picturing consenting sex on a motorbike between two adult males with foot feetishes...and one of them has hemorrhoids.

[Hitcher]

rRRRRRREEEEPOOOSSSSTTTTAAAAAAAAHHHHH

Really? This is about as close as it gets.

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=9698&highlight=skid+demon

[cs363]

Lol, had to share;


1962 Safety Rules from Honda

Taken from a 1962 Honda Motor Cycle Instruction Book. Translated by Honda for the American Motorcycle Rider:

1. At the rise of the hand by Policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass him by or otherwise disrespect him.

2. When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage, tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.

3. Beware of the wandering horse that he shall not take fright as you pass him. Do not explode the exhaust box at him. Go soothingly by.

4. Give big space to the festive dog that makes sport in roadway. Avoid entanglement of dog with wheel spokes.

5. Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon. Press the brake foot as you roll around the corners, and save the collapse and tie up.







oooooh......the skid demon!!!!! BEWARE!!!! :woohoo: