Aunty Riff Raff's great fart poll

[Riff Raff]

Well it just had to be done, didn't it?
Two polls in one - vote in both

[hXc]

Yeah, of course it had to be done. Why didn't I think of it :brick:

[jrandom]

What on earth is a 'queef'?

[Slipstream]

Look what happens if you don't do a good one :(

[Riff Raff]

Pick the day you were born on (i.e. 5th, 6th etc.) to see what kind of farter you are...
I was born on the 28th - says it all really!

1-AMBITIOUS FARTER - Always ready to fart.
2-LAZY FARTER - Just fizzles
3-AMIABLE FARTER - Likes to smell others farts.
4-SELFISH FARTER - Only enjoys smelling his own farts.
5-CARELESS FARTER - Farts in church, restaurants, and department stores without even an iota of shame.
6-SMART ALEC FARTER - Farts when girls are in the room.
7-CLEVER FARTER - Farts and coughs at same time.
8-SCIENTIFIC FARTER - Keeps his or her farts in jars with the dates on them.
9-STINGY FARTER - Belches instead of farting to save his butthole.
10-FOOLISH FARTER - Farts and laughs, while others cry.
11-SHY FARTER - Can only fart on a deserted Island.
12-CONCEITED FARTER - Thinks he can fart the loudest.
13-UNLUCKY FARTER - Tries to fart and soils his underwear.
14- TIMID FARTER - Is emotionally shaken by the sound of farts.
15-BEWILDERED FARTER - Unable to distinguish between their farts and others.
16-SLOVENLY FARTER - Farts refuse to leave underwear, it's nice and damp in there and they can stick around.
17-NERVOUS FARTER - Farts very tight squeaky half farts, keeps the rest for the privacy of his or her own home.
18-MISERABLE FARTER - Can't fart unless he or she is in the privacy of their own home.
19-CONFUSED FARTER - Has such bad breath he or she can't tell where the smell is coming from.
20-GROUCHY FARTER - Swears at his or her farts.
21-SNEAKY FARTER - Farts, cups the noxious cloud tightly between his or her cheeks, then waits for someone else to get up or make a move to lift cheek.
22-DISAPPOINTED FARTER - Their farts don't stink.
23-FRESH GUY FARTER - Turns around in front of you and farts.
24-BIG BULLY FARTER - Farts louder, longer, and smellier than everyone elses.
25-VAIN FARTER - Deeply moved by the smell of farts.
26-CLAIRVOYANT FARTER - Can tell what others have eaten from their farts.
27-WISE FARTER - Farts and say's "Who dropped their guts?"
28-DAMNED MEAN FARTER - Farts in bed and pulls the covers over partner's head (aka the Dutch oven)
29-MUSICAL FARTER - Tenor or bass, Clear as a bell, Smells like shit, Sounds like a tuba
30-HONEST FARTER - Farts and blames it on others or the dog.
31-LIVELY FARTER - Jumps up in air, toots three times, kicks simultaneously.

[crashe]

Riff Raff.... are you bored.... ??
and do you need something constructive to do...lol

So when are you going back to work??????
:spudwave: :whistle: :whistle: :spudwave:

Or do you need to go out and ride your bike???

[Storm]

Good to see RR making constructive use of all the spare time!! :whistle:
So how is your neck coming anyway?

[NC]

LMAO dutch oven :killingme

[Riff Raff]

Good to see RR making constructive use of all the spare time!! :whistle:
So how is your neck coming anyway?
It's coming along. All going well I should be back at work on 27 Jan. I'm procrastinating today - I should be reading the first four chapters of Basic Arrhythmias before my exam on Monday. Eeek

[riffer]

What on earth is a 'queef'?


psst Dan, its also called a fanny fart...

Storm ... are you sure that's what you meant to vote for?

[jrandom]

psst Dan, its also called a fanny fart...

Jeez, that sounds awfully dodgy.

I guess I'm not too surprised that Riff Raff would know dodgy words like that...

[Riff Raff]

Jeez, that sounds awfully dodgy.
I guess I'm not too surprised that Riff Raff would know dodgy words like that...
Really - that's odd since I only discovered the word today when YOU used it in our little MSN chat and gave me the online dictionary reference so I could read the definition:
an expulsion of wind from the vulva during coitus; a vaginal fart.

[jrandom]

Really - that's odd since I only discovered the word today when YOU used it in our little MSN chat...

:)

I have no idea why I was compelled to bring that out...


I guess I'm not too surprised that Riff Raff would know dodgy words like that...

Must be because of all those dodgy types she's been passing the time with.

[Riff Raff]

:)
I have no idea why I was compelled to bring that out...
Must be because of all those dodgy types she's been passing the time with.
I believe Mr Random randomly threw it into the conversation... :Pokey:
Those dodgy types - would they be the ones that meet at Galbraiths on a Friday afternoon to sup piss?

[Skunk]

I'm a SELFISH FARTER - Only enjoys smelling his own farts. :thud:

[NC]

I'm a SELFISH FARTER - Only enjoys smelling his own farts. :thud:
:eek5: Dude, that's soooo not "something"

[Slingshot]

My speciality are venison farts. Within half an hour of eating it, I'm farting for the next 3 days. Nice and strong smelling too.

[MSTRS]

My speciality are venison farts. Within half an hour of eating it, I'm farting for the next 3 days. Nice and strong smelling too.
Mmmmmm....beer. Ooops, I mean Deer :killingme

[RiderInBlack]

Silent & Deadly then blame someone else. Aah, the joys of being a farrier (Horse Shoer). None quite like having a horse to blame when you let rip:whistle: :shake: :innocent:

[mini_hooks_]

I'm a SELFISH FARTER - Only enjoys smelling his own farts. :thud:

:lol: :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme

[Skunk]

Maybe I was born on the 5th? CARELESS FARTER - Farts in church, restaurants, and department stores without even an iota of shame. :yes:

Feck it. I was born EVERY day of the month... :lol:

[Storm]

Cheers for clearing that up Skunk, I was gettin' a wee bit confused about that meself:2thumbsup:

[Riff Raff]

I had forgotten all about setting up this poll yesterday, and then I did a big fart and it all came back to me!!!

[Skunk]

I had forgotten all about setting up this poll yesterday, and then I did a big fart and it all came back to me!!!What kind?

[Riff Raff]

What kind?
It was one of those ones that comes out at 10million miles an hour, causing major butt cheek wobblage, then permeating the air with an unusual bouquet comprising of liquorice and pasta in four cheese sauce. This distinct aroma pervaded my home for some time, and even followed me around for a while.
Feel free to use this recipe, but note that the liquorice allsorts should be consumed at least 2 hours before the pasta!

[jrandom]

It was one of those ones that comes out at 10million miles an hour, causing major butt cheek wobblage, then permeating the air with an unusual bouquet comprising of liquorice and pasta in four cheese sauce. This distinct aroma pervaded my home for some time, and even followed me around for a while.
Feel free to use this recipe, but note that the liquorice allsorts should be consumed at least 2 hours before the pasta!

You disturb me, you really do.

[Riff Raff]

You disturb me, you really do.
Yay :spudbooge :banana: :banana: :banana: I've achieved something today then!

[Skunk]

It was one of those ones that comes out at 10million miles an hour, causing major butt cheek wobblage, then permeating the air with an unusual bouquet comprising of liquorice and pasta in four cheese sauce. This distinct aroma pervaded my home for some time, and even followed me around for a while.
Feel free to use this recipe, but note that the liquorice allsorts should be consumed at least 2 hours before the pasta!Thanks for that. I've put it in my best recipe book.
I usually manage rotten eggs... no matter what recipe so I'll be trying this. :thud:

[Sniper]

It was one of those ones that comes out at 10million miles an hour, causing major butt cheek wobblage, then permeating the air with an unusual bouquet comprising of liquorice and pasta in four cheese sauce. This distinct aroma pervaded my home for some time, and even followed me around for a while.
Feel free to use this recipe, but note that the liquorice allsorts should be consumed at least 2 hours before the pasta!

I wish never to see another peice of liquorice or pasta ever again :crybaby:

[MSTRS]

Avgas, Mini-hooks & StoneChucker - methinks you boys must be full of hot air (perhaps literally). For lessons in relief see RiffRaff's Farting for Pleasure 101.

[Riff Raff]

Avgas, Mini-hooks & StoneChucker - methinks you boys must be full of hot air (perhaps literally). For lessons in relief see RiffRaff's Farting for Pleasure 101.
It would appear that Mini-hooks is a bit confused about his farting - he's voted in all categories. I'm intrigued about his queefing habits tho....

[Sniper]

I'm intrigued about his queefing habits tho....

Fear of dread has overtaken me.

Mr Hooks sir, could you have a father son talk with mini_hooks as he needs "educating" :Pokey:

[Skunk]

I can give him odour lessons. :mellow: