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nudedaytona
5th September 2008, 14:06
"The politics of Life" - OLD VERSION:



The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Be responsible for yourself!


"The politics of Life" - TODAYS VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.


Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

TV1, TV3 and Maori TV show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. New Zealand is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Good Morning with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Sue Bradford stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome"

Gordon Copeland then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Michael Cullen exclaims in an interview with John Campbell that "the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper", and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share as the ant is too much of a "Rich Prick."

Finally, the Labour Party drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Winston gets his old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of judges that Helen appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighbourhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Be VERY careful how you vote in 2008!!

Murray
5th September 2008, 14:19
You had me right up to the last 3 lines

Good story anyway

Devil
5th September 2008, 14:23
Fucking Spiders!

nudedaytona
5th September 2008, 14:25
That's my signature. I can only lead a horse to water ....

yod
5th September 2008, 14:54
jeebus, if that's how ACT sees the public (as ants and grasshoppers), I think I'll stick with Aunty Helen

nudedaytona
5th September 2008, 15:15
jeebus, if that's how ACT sees the public (as ants and grasshoppers), I think I'll stick with Aunty Helen

FFS it was a parable - the ants and grasshopers and spiders are metaphors for different types of people.

The ants are the hard workers, trying to save and get ahead, the grasshopers are the bludgers who don't want to work but still want to be handed everything ona silver plate, and the spiders are the assholes who want to shit on everyone.

Murray
5th September 2008, 15:28
FFS it was a parable - the ants and grasshopers and spiders are metaphors for different types of people.

The ants are the hard workers, trying to save and get ahead, the grasshopers are the bludgers who don't want to work but still want to be handed everything ona silver plate, and the spiders are the assholes who want to shit on everyone.

I would have thought that pretty bloody obvious and I would like to think Yod was taking the piss. But he did mention he would rather vote for Aunty Helen, so maybe he wasnt

yod
5th September 2008, 15:30
really? a metaphor?

phew...glad you explained

:killingme

nudedaytona
5th September 2008, 16:16
really? a metaphor?

phew...glad you explained

:killingme

Sorry mate there's some raving lefties on here that are deadly serious - I can't be too careful

yod
5th September 2008, 16:21
and some shocking right wing conservatives too

nudedaytona
5th September 2008, 16:26
and some shocking right wing conservatives too

My story was funny but it did have a morale and a point. You simply want to take the piss.

slofox
5th September 2008, 16:41
As the saying goes...."Don't vote for any of them - it only encourages them....."

rainman
5th September 2008, 17:56
If only life was so straightforward. The bludgers vs the hard workers. Oh so..... um..... intellectually lazy.

The game of "Us and Them" loses it's appeal after a while. A very short while.

Nagash
5th September 2008, 18:03
http://helz.me.uk/w003-repost.jpg

rat biker 08
5th September 2008, 19:27
Your vote is a wast of time thay all fuck lie and fuck it up :beer: see you at the polls:wacko:

McJim
5th September 2008, 20:48
Mmmmm - there's no one to vote for....they're all on the make.