Swoop
16th September 2008, 12:25
Amy Winehouse went to Glastonbury last weekend.
Poor Amy had to wade through dirt, needles, rubbish and people lying around everywhere...
... just to leave her flat.
Amy Winehouse admitted today that, when she's on stage, she hides her syringe inside her hair!
It must be like trying to find a needle in a fucking haystack!
Amy Winehouse was disappointed when it was explained to her that she had won 5 Grammy’s and not 5 Grams.
Amy Winehouse's health is at risk due to her crack problem.
Her doctors say that if she doesn't wash it soon, she'll get gangrene.
Amy Winehouse bumps into Jeremy Clarkson and they start to chat. She says to him, "What do you do?"
He says, "Top Gear."
She says, "Fucking brilliant - I'll have three grams."
Amy Winehouse is at her doctors complaining of chest pains.
After extensive tests, the doctor announces the findings of the test.
"Well, Miss Winehouse, I have some good news and bad news for you. Firstly you appear to have the painful and life threatening condition Emphysema, caused by your constant smoking."
"Oh," says Amy, "What's the good news, then?"
The doctor replies, "That is the good news. The bad news is there is a cure."
I can't believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. She's so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her.
With Amy Winehouse's husband in prison for the foreseeable future she has turned to lesbianism. Just once again proving she can't keep her hands off the crack.
Amy Winehouse walks into a bar...
The barman says "Why the long face?"
Arrested once for bestiality, I was told by the judge it is impossible for a human to mate successfully with a horse.
However, I have seen Amy Winehouse, so I know that can't be true.
Amy Winehouse has been taken into hospital today and is reported to be in a stable condition.
I always thought she looked like a horse.
Amy Winehouse fled her Camden home earlier this year, claiming it was haunted by the hideous ghost of a dead boy.
Strangely enough, she hasn’t seen it again since her friends removed all her mirrors.
Amy Winehouse had a violent reaction to medication last night.
She said, "fuck off if you think I'm gonna take anything legal!"
Apparently Amy Winehouse's dad has claimed that someone spiked her drink with ecstasy. I think someone should remind him that it's not spiking if you put it there yourself.
Poor Amy had to wade through dirt, needles, rubbish and people lying around everywhere...
... just to leave her flat.
Amy Winehouse admitted today that, when she's on stage, she hides her syringe inside her hair!
It must be like trying to find a needle in a fucking haystack!
Amy Winehouse was disappointed when it was explained to her that she had won 5 Grammy’s and not 5 Grams.
Amy Winehouse's health is at risk due to her crack problem.
Her doctors say that if she doesn't wash it soon, she'll get gangrene.
Amy Winehouse bumps into Jeremy Clarkson and they start to chat. She says to him, "What do you do?"
He says, "Top Gear."
She says, "Fucking brilliant - I'll have three grams."
Amy Winehouse is at her doctors complaining of chest pains.
After extensive tests, the doctor announces the findings of the test.
"Well, Miss Winehouse, I have some good news and bad news for you. Firstly you appear to have the painful and life threatening condition Emphysema, caused by your constant smoking."
"Oh," says Amy, "What's the good news, then?"
The doctor replies, "That is the good news. The bad news is there is a cure."
I can't believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. She's so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her.
With Amy Winehouse's husband in prison for the foreseeable future she has turned to lesbianism. Just once again proving she can't keep her hands off the crack.
Amy Winehouse walks into a bar...
The barman says "Why the long face?"
Arrested once for bestiality, I was told by the judge it is impossible for a human to mate successfully with a horse.
However, I have seen Amy Winehouse, so I know that can't be true.
Amy Winehouse has been taken into hospital today and is reported to be in a stable condition.
I always thought she looked like a horse.
Amy Winehouse fled her Camden home earlier this year, claiming it was haunted by the hideous ghost of a dead boy.
Strangely enough, she hasn’t seen it again since her friends removed all her mirrors.
Amy Winehouse had a violent reaction to medication last night.
She said, "fuck off if you think I'm gonna take anything legal!"
Apparently Amy Winehouse's dad has claimed that someone spiked her drink with ecstasy. I think someone should remind him that it's not spiking if you put it there yourself.