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cruzer
27th January 2005, 13:59
A bit of academia to brighten your afternoon!
Subject: Hell



The following is supposedly an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student
was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing
in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into
Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will
go to Hell.Since there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at
the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that
in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
my Freshman year that, 'it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you', and take into account the fact that I slept with her last
night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is
that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby
proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,last night,
Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'



THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY 'A'.

Slipstream
27th January 2005, 14:03
A bit of academia to brighten your afternoon!
Subject: Hell



The following is supposedly an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student
was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.



Heard this one before.....but still very funny :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme

Ms Piggy
27th January 2005, 14:27
Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.....followed by hah hah hah! :first:

Coyote
27th January 2005, 14:33
Bah, thats deserves an A+ :eek:

mini_hooks_
27th January 2005, 14:36
and he only got an A...i cant even say some of those words!!!!! :doh: :unsure: :o

Eurodave
12th May 2005, 16:29
EXCELLANT postulations & other big words

Excal
12th May 2005, 16:39
Extremely hilarious :killingme :killingme :killingme

MSTRS
12th May 2005, 16:57
Could a kind Moderator please move this to the 'correct' thread :killingme :killingme

DMNTD
2nd February 2006, 14:32
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a year 3 university chemistry exam.

The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. *Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

*With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banning during my first year at university that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take

into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, "Oh my God., Oh my God ! ! Yes, Yes, Oh God Yes ! !"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" :wari:

SpeedyGirl
2nd February 2006, 14:39
Most excellent! :rofl:

MidnightMike
2nd February 2006, 14:43
:niceone: Hahaha, that there is excellence material

Coyote
2nd February 2006, 14:43
Haha, very good :niceone:

Maha
2nd February 2006, 15:03
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm wonder if the writer of this chemistry exam is a male or female ?? Teresa may have slept with a chick, that would be acceptable in Hell but not Heaven :shit: hot or cold, down under could be worth a trip before heading skywards :woohoo:

judgeshock
2nd February 2006, 15:04
well awesome:rofl:

Sniper
2nd February 2006, 15:19
Very nice......

Colapop
2nd February 2006, 15:37
Postulating is that like a screaming monkey run? Very Good TL

Big Chim
2nd February 2006, 16:27
Its all so clear now, i should have taken chemistry at uni.:rofl:

texmo
8th August 2006, 16:55
HELL EXPLAINED

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Theresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

inlinefour
8th August 2006, 16:57
But a good one at that.

texmo
8th August 2006, 17:04
But a good one at that.
Stink and probbly the first time I have ever checked to see if it was a repost too.

Wasp
8th August 2006, 17:04
Bucking Frilliant! (sent to work email list)

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: :rofl::rofl:

SARGE
8th August 2006, 22:59
Heaven is a place where:

The lovers are Italian
The cooks are French
The mechanics are German
The police are English
The government is run by the Swiss

Hell is a place where:

The lovers are Swiss
The cooks are English
The mechanics are French
The police are German
The government is run by the Italians

Disco Dan
2nd August 2007, 12:38
This is from an email sent to me, so dont go thinking that it would be real! Still interesting though.

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
>
>The following is an actual question given on University of Washington
>chemistry mid term.
>
>The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared
it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
>
>
>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
>
>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
>One student, however, wrote the following:
>
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today.
>
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
are,we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
>states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
the>same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added.
>
>This gives two possibilities:
>
>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
>Hell breaks loose.
>
>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
>
>So which is it?
>
>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
>THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Toaster
2nd August 2007, 12:53
Disco, nice one, had a good laugh.

Filterer
2nd August 2007, 12:56
An oldey but a goodie

Wheeliemonsta
11th August 2008, 14:08
The following is an actual question given on an University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+. :laugh:

Cheers

:rockon:

mstriumph
11th August 2008, 14:16
repost :bleh: --- still funny though :msn-wink:

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?p=1155497&highlight=hell+freezes#post1155497

Bren
11th August 2008, 16:18
that is so good....i rekon "Teresa" gave him a smack on the jaw for that!

crazyhorse
4th February 2010, 06:39
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

golfmade
4th February 2010, 15:22
Haha good stuff, and near my home town no less, UW is a good school.