PDA

View Full Version : Mastercard - Priceless!



cruzer
27th January 2005, 14:33
You gotta love this guy.....

This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno talked about it on television .It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope.
He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.
The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said,
"F--- you!". Then he turned to his bride and said,
"F--- you!". Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said,
"I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have cancelled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge...making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends.......................................$32, 000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion.......................................... $3,000.
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui.............................................. .$8,500.
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man..........Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD.

Coyote
27th January 2005, 14:36
Finally got up off the floor from pissing myself laughing :killingme

vifferman
27th January 2005, 14:39
That's just sad....:blank:

mini_hooks_
27th January 2005, 14:41
right...thats down in my mental note book just incase i need it............. :2thumbsup :lol: :banana: :killingme

Indiana_Jones
27th January 2005, 16:25
One word can describe this.........Classic :2thumbsup

-Indy

scumdog
27th January 2005, 16:30
First thing I'm gonna do at the next wedding I'm at is look under the seats at the wedding breakfast!! Pissed myself! :killingme :killingme

Hoon
27th January 2005, 16:33
Not to sound like a party pooper but this sounds a little urban legend (http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/wedrevenge.html) to me.

Yeah I can't think how the whole wedding reception could go by without anyone finding it under their seats (i.e. curious pre-schoolers crawling everywhere) and a quick paste of the first sentence into google confirms my suspicion.

...still a great story though!!!

inlinefour
27th January 2005, 22:51
from 3 staff in the staff room is LMAO!!!! Well done with giving us that to read :2thumbsup

Swoop
21st November 2005, 08:32
This one is apparently a true story...

This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.
He especially wanted to thank the bride and groom's families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception.
He wanted to thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope, including the wedding
party.
He said that this was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open the envelopes. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride.
He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior to the wedding. After he stood there and watched the people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said "F--- you," he turned to the bride and said Fuck you," and then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm out of here."
He had the marriage annulled first thing that Monday morning. While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with it as if nothing was wrong.
His revenge: making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for the 300 guest
wedding and reception. Letting everyone know exactly what did happen.
And best of all, trashing the bride and best man's reputations in front of all of their friends, their entire families, i.e. their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews, etc.
This guy has balls the size of church bells.
This is his world, we just live in it.
Love ya work, mate!:clap: :clap:

heavenly.talker
21st November 2005, 09:09
An oldie but still a goodie.

The best man had all my "old boyfriends" hand back their keys at our wedding.
Was very funny...
however what amused us all the most, is that our best friends have keys to our house (they can come on over and crash or hang whenever they want) that includes all the males in the grooms party and not one of them handed theirs in lol!

MSTRS
23rd November 2005, 08:00
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
(AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing He said was,
"DON'T! "

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grand children are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers now know why some animals often eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you - In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our home, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,

DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" and, "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

ducatilover
24th November 2005, 11:17
Love ya work, mate!:clap: :clap:
that is too cool:2thumbsup :2thumbsup :2thumbsup

MSTRS
30th November 2005, 11:22
A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them. His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?"
"You'll see", he replies.

They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating. "Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes calls me."

His daughter screams.

"Don't eat it, Jimmy !...... It's a f***ing arsehole...!!!"

MSTRS
30th November 2005, 11:23
Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.

But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice that said: "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients And you won't be the last. And you're single.
Just let it go".

But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality, whispering.......

"Dave, you're a vet".

MSTRS
30th November 2005, 11:23
At 80 years old, George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with God?"

George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof) the light goes on, when I'm done (poof) the light goes off.

"Wow!" commented Dr. Smith, "That's incredible!"

A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Ethel," he said, "George is doing fine. Physically he's great. But, I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then when he is through (poof) the light goes off?"

Ethel exclaimed, "Oh, my God! He's pissing in the refrigerator again!"

froggyfrenchman
30th November 2005, 11:27
this thread is piss funny! well done to all involved

phoenixgtr
30th November 2005, 11:35
:lol: Arrrgh!!!

phoenixgtr
30th November 2005, 11:37
Love ya work, mate!:clap: :clap:

That man deserves a beer :drinkup:

Dilligaf
25th March 2008, 11:54
You got to love this guy... This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University . It was in the local newspaper and even
Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.

He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank
his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone
a special gift just from him.

So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you!'

Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.'

He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.

Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000

Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.

The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD

Edbear
25th March 2008, 11:58
Snopes is your friend...

Oakie
25th March 2008, 12:03
Snopes is your friend...

Yep. I've also heard the point of origin of this story as being alternatively London and Sydney. I even seem to remember it being recounted to me in pre internet days as having happened in Timaru but with a slight variation.

Number One
25th March 2008, 13:12
I was a service gal at a real wedding that went very similarly to this.

The bride and best man had apparently been snapped in the 'toilets' right before the ceremony (what a skank!) by someone who obviously relayed it to the groom.

He got right through the ceremony and his 'seemingly lovely' speech and then last up thanked his best man for "bonking his bride in the loos before the ceremony"!!!

Right time for a rumble!!! There were fists everywhere - watch out for grannies at those things too...they might look sweet in their wedding garb but they get mighty pissed off when a perfectly lovely wedding event gets ruined.

TerminalAddict
25th March 2008, 13:13
..... I even seem to remember it being recounted to me in pre internet days as having happened in Timaru but with a slight variation.

was there a goat in the story?

Beemer
26th March 2008, 09:38
was there a goat in the story?

Wrong island - you're getting Timaru mixed up with Taranaki...

Str8 Jacket
26th March 2008, 09:39
Wrong island - you're getting Timaru mixed up with Taranaki...

Speaking of Taranaki, I havent seen Hitcher around for awhile?....

bungbung
26th March 2008, 09:58
I was a service gal at a real wedding

That's not what it sounds like is it?

Number One
26th March 2008, 11:45
That's not what it sounds like is it?

errr no - but it does depend on who's asking :whistle:

Beemer
26th March 2008, 22:28
Speaking of Taranaki, I havent seen Hitcher around for awhile?....

Perhaps one of his country cousins was getting married...

nadroj
26th March 2008, 22:50
The goats up here are fussier than that!

Naki Rat
28th March 2008, 14:57
Wrong island - you're getting Timaru mixed up with Taranaki...

Wrong! Timaru was closer:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4418379a12855.html

Besides any Taranaki lad knows that Bobby calf BJs can't be beaten :bleh:

Laava
28th March 2008, 15:11
Funny how it says "attempted to have sex".
Maybe the goat wanted it doggy style or something?

StoneY
9th March 2011, 11:53
Master Card Wedding




You got to love this guy...
This is a true story about a recent
wedding that took place at Clemson University .
It was in the local newspaper and even
Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage
with a microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said he wanted to thank
everyone for coming, many from
long distances, to support them
at their wedding.

He especially wanted to thank the bride and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation
he said he wanted to give everyone
a special gift just from him.

So taped to the bottom of
everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

He said this was his gift to
everyone, and asked them to
open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy
of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious
of them weeks earlier and had
hired a private detective to tail
them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions
for a couple of minutes, he
turned to the best man and
said, 'F---you!' Then he turned
to his bride and said, 'F--- you!'

Then he turned to the
dumbfounded crowd and said,
'I'm outta here.'

He had the marriage annulled
first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding
immediately after finding out
about the affair, this
guy goes through with the
charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a
300-guest wedding and reception, and best of a ll, trashing the
bride's and best man's reputations
in front of 300 friends and family members..

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless'
commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception
for 300 family members and
friends: $32,000.

Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000

Deluxe two-w+eek
honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.

The look on everyone's face
when they see the 8x10 glossy
of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.

There are some things money
can't buy, for everything else
there's MASTERCARD


A Mastercard Wedding
'Life isn't like a bowl
of cherries or peaches,
it's more like a jar of Jalapenos--
what you do today,
might burn your ass tomorrow......'

Deano
9th March 2011, 11:58
I dunno about a recent wedding there Stoney - that story is as old as the hills.

c4.
9th March 2011, 13:49
http://www.snopes.com/weddings/embarrass/bothered.asp

StoneY
9th March 2011, 14:24
Ah is still funny snopes, old or not
:-)

I saw it for first time today and thought I would share it is all........

Ronin
9th March 2011, 14:48
Must be true. Jay Leno said it was.