madbikeboy
14th October 2008, 12:45
Dennis Leary, poet, humanitarian, and comedian once wrote a song called "I'm an Asshole" - there's this part that described me on the drive into work this morning:
Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces, While handicapped people, Make handicapped faces
I'm an asshole, (he's an asshole, what an asshole), I'm an asshole, (he's a real f**king asshole)
Okay, so this does have a point, and I'll get to that point, and when I do, I want that sound track running through your minds - hum it if it helps.
So, for the second time in as many weeks, I needed to drive the cage. Driving is a poor description, what I did was sit. In neat rows. Raging inside my car each time a bike roared past. Swearing. Not the bike, but me. I was swearing like a truck driver, or a sailor, or that kid with Tourettes that you went to school with. I mean, little things were setting me off - the fact that the traffic wasn't moving, the lame assed teenager who was so drug addled that me getting out of the car and inviting him into the gap before my car didn't make him understand, the fact that when Leighton borrowed my car, he didn't return the detach face for the radio and my iPod is out of juice, and the fact that I couldn't wheelstand or just squeeze through that gap.
So, being hysterically bored and borderline suicidal, I resorted to pulling funny faces at the people in the cars beside me. I have dark and borderline illegal tinted windows, so, that seemed like a really good idea.
Now, cue the music, "Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces, While handicapped people, Make handicapped faces".
The point is, that it would have been better, if, in my haste to make the world better by pulling faces at all the beautiful people stuck in traffic with me; if I had of just remembered to roll the window up first...
:shit::shit::stupid::shit::doh:
Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces, While handicapped people, Make handicapped faces
I'm an asshole, (he's an asshole, what an asshole), I'm an asshole, (he's a real f**king asshole)
Okay, so this does have a point, and I'll get to that point, and when I do, I want that sound track running through your minds - hum it if it helps.
So, for the second time in as many weeks, I needed to drive the cage. Driving is a poor description, what I did was sit. In neat rows. Raging inside my car each time a bike roared past. Swearing. Not the bike, but me. I was swearing like a truck driver, or a sailor, or that kid with Tourettes that you went to school with. I mean, little things were setting me off - the fact that the traffic wasn't moving, the lame assed teenager who was so drug addled that me getting out of the car and inviting him into the gap before my car didn't make him understand, the fact that when Leighton borrowed my car, he didn't return the detach face for the radio and my iPod is out of juice, and the fact that I couldn't wheelstand or just squeeze through that gap.
So, being hysterically bored and borderline suicidal, I resorted to pulling funny faces at the people in the cars beside me. I have dark and borderline illegal tinted windows, so, that seemed like a really good idea.
Now, cue the music, "Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces, While handicapped people, Make handicapped faces".
The point is, that it would have been better, if, in my haste to make the world better by pulling faces at all the beautiful people stuck in traffic with me; if I had of just remembered to roll the window up first...
:shit::shit::stupid::shit::doh: