I like the highway police today

[Biff]

My alarm clock failed to go off this morning and I had an 8.30 meeting with the CEO. I'm up and out of the house like a rocket thanks to my dog who decides to French kiss me as a wake up call - thanks boy!

So I'm not taking my time at all, 130-140 K's ish (sorry KB cops, it happens!) down the motorway thanks to very little traffic (surprisingly). I take a right into an 80 and I must have been doing about 95 + when a cop car comes around a blind bend lights blazing, a millisecond later I brake, too late he points at me and I pull over and wait for him to do a U turn.

Helmet off, dismount, curse myself for failing to turn my radar detector on etc.
"Good morning sir, are you running late?". "Yes, but I wasn't intentionally speeding, I guess it was a sub-conscious act." I blubber in response. "My colleague on highway 1 will be with us in a moment, he's been chasing you for about 5K's". Seconds later his colleague arrives.

" Phew - I didn't think I’d ever catch up with you, I clocked you at 134 but I know you were accelerating at the time. What a primo bike you have there." Now I've never heard the word primo before, I guess it either means fast or smart. " I'm glad my colleague here was coming this way or you'd probably have killed yourself".

I blubber sorry again, meeting, late, speed creep, stupid. I mutter all manor of superlatives and about 12 different kinds of apologies. "Licence please sir and where's your rego and WOF". I show him my UK licence, ask if the thing hanging from my number plate is a rego and pull out my WOF from my wallet. "This isn't the UK sir, we drive much slower here. Please be careful because you will kill yourself. Take this as a caution."

I smile like a Cheshire cat, apologise again and get to the office 5 minutes late.

I'm an arse, I know I'm an arse, a menace to society, a risk to the delicate fabric of society etc. Yet two very nice cops (one was a sergeant I think) in two different vehicles obviously got out of the right side of the bed this morning and were very kind to me.

How lucky am I!!!???

Thanks.

[StoneChucker]

Thats quite fortunate for you, I'm guessing the fact you pulled over when pointed at helped. Only thing is, tickets don't seem to be consistent. What I mean is, if I did the same thing tomorrow, I'd almost certainly get a ticket! But, we shouldn't be doing it anyway, so it's not really an issue.

Hey, you weren't trying to do a runner were you? hehe. Like they said, if the second cop wasn't coming past, you would've probably "got away" without even knowing it!

All I do know is, there are "certain" KB'ers on here who would always get a ticket if stopped, no names mentioned :D:D

[Biff]

Interestingly enough, a whole heap of my gear form the UK arrived on Sat. Inside one of the boxes was a copy of a recent Ride magazine (packed by the wife as a pressie) in which was an article about out running the police in the UK. Do you? Don't you? Whose the fastest? etc etc. (a recent posting by another KB'er here mentioned this article I think).

There was a section in there that recommended what to do if you are stopped. Afterwards I realised I did everything that the mag said I should have. Pull over as soon as possible, and safe to do so, dismount, helmet off, plead stupidity, no BS and hope for the best. It worked!!

I don't think I consciously did what the mag recommended. Maybe I'm a natural?!

Defo' wasn't attempting a runner. Thankfully neither did the cops assume I was.

Darned lucky anyway.

[madboy]

quick - buy a lotto ticket. the gods were smiling on you today!

[Aaron]

pri·mo ( P ) Pronunciation Key (prm)
n. Music pl. pri·mi (-m) also pri·mos (-mz)

Slang.
Exceptionally good of its kind; first-class.

[spudchucka]

Pulling over straight away and not having a fuk da pigs attitude would have gone a long way towards the cops deciding not to ticket you.

I respect anyone that pulls over straight away, especially if the are in control of a vehicle that could blitz the old holden in a flash.

[bear]

Lucky old you! I say courtesy still goes a long way.

[**R1**]

135kph!!!! your an accident waiting to happn, you need to grow up buddy.......J/K :bleh:

actualy i dont belive you....135k out of a Honda :Pokey:

luck lucky lucky.

Race???

[Biff]

135kph!!!! your an accident waiting to happn, you need to grow up buddy.......J/K :bleh:

actualy i dont belive you....135k out of a Honda :Pokey:

luck lucky lucky.

Race???

Sorry dad, I know I was going to fast and deserved to have been flogged.

As for a race, mate we both know that your bike isn't capable of those kinda speeds on two wheels, and as you can only pull a wheelie for 5 metres, you're forked!

I win - again :spudbooge :spudbooge

[**R1**]

Sorry dad, I know I was going to fast and deserved to have been flogged.

As for a race, mate we both know that your bike isn't capable of those kinda speeds on two wheels, and as you can only pull a wheelie for 5 metres, you're forked!

I win - again :spudbooge :spudbooge
Akoroa to lil river in 11mins on video, if ya can beat that ill admit your the man.......

[Biff]

Akoroa to lil river in 11mins on video, if ya can beat that ill admit your the man.......

Me and three ladies on video, and it lasts for over an hour. I AM THE MAN!!!

[PuppetMaster]

Me and three ladies on video, and it lasts for over an hour. I AM THE MAN!!!


Buwhahahahaa....you win!!!! :first:




All I do know is, there are "certain" KB'ers on here who would always get a ticket if stopped, no names mentioned

Put my name down.

[Biff]

Put my name down.

Not my quote, so I plead the 5th.

[Big Dave]

Pulling over straight away and not having a fuk da pigs attitude would have gone a long way towards the cops deciding not to ticket you.

I respect anyone that pulls over straight away, especially if the are in control of a vehicle that could blitz the old holden in a flash.

It's also about picking your spots - ie 'open 'em up' on roads without the red shield numbers for starters - I also reckon there are so many roads here where you can ride really fast without actually speeding. eg Waipua forest at 80kph can be really hard out. Parts of SH22 at 100kph has the pegs on the ground. Conversely if you pull 115 through the desert road 'yer gooo-ooo-nnn-e'.

Personally - I Immediately find somewhere safe to pull over, helmet off, licence out, bikes in prime condition and a polite attitude have yeilded one (114kph Sh2 Tokaroa straights - bullshite!) ticket and 3 cautions in 4 years here. One of the cautions was only because he did't get a 'fix', but I'm still battin' .750 I figure.

I've also been yanked a few times for licence and rego check and i don't like that one much at all, but I still co-operate and have a yarn.

A mate who rides just the same as I do - except he's 10kph-15kph faster on the 'red shield' roads, and has the 'attitude', is under points pressure again now.

I tell him 'don't have to suck up - just be polite and helpful' and you'll get a much better result. But he won't change either - he says 'It's just a quota system now and it doesn't f'ing matter'

who's right? (i know i am - but can you repudiate his claim?)

bd

[Sniper]

Well done BB. Yea, sometimes the highway police are great. Just remember that they were being nice and next time might think that you took it for granted.

Ride safe mate, and damn you for being lucky :)

[Big Dave]

Akoroa to lil river in 11mins on video, if ya can beat that ill admit your the man.......

What? - did you get stuck behind a truck or something?

bd

[**R1**]

What? - did you get stuck behind a truck or something?

bd
na not a truck it was a 95 thunderbird :whistle: :devil2:

[Big Dave]

na not a truck it was a 95 thunderbird :whistle: :devil2:

great! now you can say you've ridden with somebody 'way cool' then.
bd :laugh:

[marty]

Me and three ladies on video, and it lasts for over an hour. I AM THE MAN!!!

i'd pay $$$ for a video like that.....

[Biff]

As this is the first time I've ever managed to get away with being ticketed I certainly wouldn't consider myself an expert. But on talking with mates, reading advice, listening to serving cops, both here in NZ and back in the UK, I'd suggest that the following general rules of thumb couldn't do your chances any harm:

1) IF you're going to stop, do it straight away and as safely as possible.
2) Dismount.
3) Helmet and sunnies off. Eye contact is very important.
4) Be polite. You've probably broken the law and in the wrong, as such you want to minimise the risk of pi$$ing the officer off.
5) Don't bullshit, they've heard it all before.
6) Be chatty, but don't crawl. Nobody likes a brown noser.
7) Have your documents to hand.

These are very obviously general guidelines, and you're not likely to get much sympathy if you've just sped by him on one wheel with small children stuck in your wheels.

Contrary to common belief, cops are humans. They each have a mind of their own and they all get good and bad days. So to expect all cops to react in the same manner to the same incident is unrealistic.

Treat others as you;d like to be treated youself and I guess your chances of being given a break must at least be increased.

[Sniper]

Me and three ladies on video, and it lasts for over an hour. I AM THE MAN!!!

I want to watch to see the proof. I wont believe you until I see it!

[TonyB]

i'd pay $$$ for a video like that.....
hmmm, but who'd end up paying more in the end? You or Aaron? he he
EDIT- I really should learn to read- du-oh!

I used to do a courier run in the afternoon for my first boss. One particular day it was 30°+ so I (stupidly) rode without my jacket. A young 'enthusiastic' cop saw me and decided to follow for some reason. I pulled up outside a pharmacy on Wainoni Rd and parked on the HUUUUGE footpath, as there was no room anywhere else. Next thing up flys the cop, parks on the dotted yellow lines on the corner and starts harrassing me. He gave me a hell of a fright, and he had a hell of an attitude, but I kept my cool and stayed polite. In the end he didn't ping me for anything, and he looked into wether I needed a special licence to do the courier run for me. In the end he was most helpful and polite, a complete turn around from his initial attitude. So I put that down to being helpful.....just as well really, as he forgot that he hadn't seen my licence which was only a restricted and I was on a 400 :banana:

Hey Aaron, I'd be keen to see that vid- just not tonight, I'm in serious need of sleep.

[Biff]

i'd pay $$$ for a video like that.....

Marty, how many times do I need to tell you - NO I WILL NOT SHOW U MY HAIRY ARSE!!

[Sniper]

Marty, how many times do I need to tell you - NO I WILL NOT SHOW U MY HAIRY ARSE!!

BB, way too much information for us.

Besides, if you were doing that, wouldnt you wax or burn it off first? I heard lighting farts on fire in a good way to get ride or arse hair.

Riff have you lit your arse on fire?? :whistle: :blink:

[Biff]

Besides, if you were doing that, wouldnt you wax or burn it off first? I heard lighting farts on fire in a good way to get ride or arse hair.

:

You're presuming that I had planned this and wasn't just fortunate enough to be part of a girlie experiment. Ahhhhhh - I love science.

Farting may just have spoilt the ambience. Although I do recall at one point while one of the lovely ladies was "singing karaoke" that I really had to concentrate hard on avoiding dropping one on her nose.

[White trash]

All I do know is, there are "certain" KB'ers on here who would always get a ticket if stopped, no names mentioned :D:D

"........if stopped........"

[Hitcher]

But it feels good when you "do the right thing".

[White trash]

Not when your arsehole's getting enlarged to dangerous proportions by the reaming you get.

[ZorsT]

I know of someone who would of failed if he/she tried to talk his/her way out of a ticket.
While on the way to the medical center, I was a passenger of a cage that was being driven by a policeman, on his way to work.
Dickhead boy racer in his souped up honda passed 5 cars on double yellow lines...
MR policeman took his rego number, and said he will look them up on the computer pay and them a "little visit"
He also said he gets 1 or 2 people like that per week, scary thought
take them off the road i say

I dunno if I mean hondas, off or the boyracers :shutup:

[What?]

Contrary to common belief, cops are humans. They each have a mind of their own ...

Do not apply this to cops of the female persuasion, or at least not the ones in the Waikato/BoP area. They are there to write tickets, not discuss the situation or use discretion.
(112 K, good road, good weather, no traffic and Ms Cop was writing the ticket before she even opened her mouth. :mad: )

[scumdog]

I'd suggest that the following general rules of thumb couldn't do your chances any harm:

1) IF you're going to stop, do it straight away and as safely as possible.
2) Dismount.
3) Helmet and sunnies off. Eye contact is very important.
4) Be polite. You've probably broken the law and in the wrong, as such you want to minimise the risk of pi$$ing the officer off.
5) Don't bullshit, they've heard it all before.
6) Be chatty, but don't crawl. Nobody likes a brown noser.
7) Have your documents to hand.


Treat others as you;d like to be treated youself and I guess your chances of being given a break must at least be increased.

Yup, all of the above worked for me :whistle: :msn-wink: :msn-wink:

[Riff Raff]

Riff have you lit your arse on fire?? :whistle: :blink:
No, I don't have arse hair.

[Hitcher]

No, I don't have arse hair.
You don't know what you're missing. Buy some Regaine and massage it into the required area...

[Riff Raff]

You don't know what you're missing. Buy some Regaine and massage it into the required area...
Ummmm ...... NO!

[MSTRS]

Do not apply this to cops of the female persuasion, or at least not the ones in the Waikato/BoP area. They are there to write tickets, not discuss the situation or use discretion.
(112 K, good road, good weather, no traffic and Ms Cop was writing the ticket before she even opened her mouth. :mad: )
Late graduates of the Germaine Greer School of Men Should Be Put Down. :2guns: