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View Full Version : She's a swinger from way back, Yeah baby



Kickaha
20th October 2008, 13:46
Recovering from a shoulder operation has meant I’d have to miss a few meetings on the side of Divvos (the fat pie eating homos) outfit so we really needed a few more swingers trained up and after mentioning it to the lovely Joni she put her hand up to go out on it and see what it’s like

A week before the training day and I’m being bombarded with questions about technique, going over track maps with her and organizing the best fitting gear

Friday night we head off to Divvos to load up and Joni finally has a sit on the platform and tries the handles and a few left to right changeovers and works out where to place her hands and legs, Divvo of course uses this oppurtunity to show off his testicles:confused:

Saturday morning and we pick up the sidecar (and the fat pie eating homo) and head off to the track, Divvo takes her through sign in and she gets her day licence sorted out and a while later they’re off to rider briefing

Geared up and ready to go she practices a few more changeovers in the pits before they roll up to the dummy grid

Out onto the track and away they go, Divvo is being pretty gentle on the throttle letting her get used to moving around with the outfit in motion, backing off early into the corners to give her plenty of time, now anyone who knows me will tell you I’m not one for big displays of emotion but I’ll admit to having a tear or two in my eyes while I stood on the hill and watched as I was so damn proud of her being out there, all to soon the session is over and they’re coming back in

She’s already getting the bruises from the chair and body armour and she asks a few more questions in the interests of refining her technique

It’s not to long before the next session is up and she gears up and they roll on out, Divvo is getting on the throttle a bit harder and longer and takes 10sec a lap off the previous session with Jo, from the hill she looks nice and smooth and like she’s doing all the right things and I’m starting to wonder if my seat is safe and if might have to look for another ride for the Nationals

Session over and they’re back in, Gloria has turned up and as she is probably the most experienced swinger in the South Island she starts chatting to Jo and giving her advice so I leave them to it

Session three and away they go, Divvo is lapping about the same as last time and it’s all looking good, she’s moving well and getting the timing right, Mild Bill is out at the same time and Divvo follows him for a bit so she can watch Trish and see how she des it but as Joni reports later on you get to wrapped up in watching what someone else is doing and then you miss your own changeovers, later on in that session she has one bad moment when he lights it up out of the infield sweeper and she thinks she’s going off the back:shit:

Back in the pits and surprisingly enough she’s not getting any arm pump from holding on to tight which is what happens to most people, but she’ll have a few bruises coming out later on

It’s still a bit early on to be thinking about her doing a race meeting and going at “race pace” but she’s indicated she would like to go out again and get some more experience and then give racing a try, I’ll just have to hope she isn’t faster than I am

Well done Joni you made me proud:Punk:

scrivy
20th October 2008, 14:00
Out onto the track and away they go, Divvo is being pretty gentle on the throttle Like he is when you are on it.......
now anyone who knows me will tell you I’m not big BULLSHIT!! - You have eaten all the pies!!
It’s not to long before the next session is up and she gears up and they roll on out, Divvo is getting on the throttle a bit harder and longer and takes 10sec a lap off the previous session with Jo, from the hill she looks nice and smooth and like she’s doing all the right things and I’m starting to wonder if my seat is safe and if might have to look for another ride for the Nationals Damn right pal!! Your ass is grass!! Besides - Joni's ass is cuter than yours!!
Back in the pits and surprisingly enough she’s not getting any arm pump from holding on to tight which is what happens to me - I must be soft. You got that right!!
It’s still a bit early on to be thinking about her doing a race meeting and going at “Divvo pace” but she’s indicated she would like to go out again and get some more experience and then give racing a try, I’ll just have to hope she isn’t faster than I am Mate, her next outing will leave you red faced Kick - She's gunna show you up for the pussy you are!! Well done Joni you made me proud:Punk:

Good on ya Joni!! Time for the soft Kick to retire!!

Colapop
20th October 2008, 14:04
Aewsome work there Joni!! You go girl!

Cajun
20th October 2008, 14:08
Awsome there Joni

hope you enjoyed it

BiK3RChiK
20th October 2008, 15:46
Woohoo! Joni ROKS!!! Awesome stuff!... Having 'had a try... Pfft!' at the Taupo track on Sunday, there sure is some skill involved, but I'd be up for it! haha... that's if my kids didn't beat me to it!

Good read, too, Kickaha.....:sunny:

Kickaha
20th October 2008, 17:25
A few pictures (camera wasn't good enough to get any on the track)

1) the lovely Joni practising in the pits

2) getting her gear on ( I tried to catch he with her pants down but was threatened with "the bash"):shifty:

3) on the grid

4) on the way back in

5) Colin (fine figure of a man that he is):sick:

Her_C4
20th October 2008, 20:30
Kudos to Joanne - take my hat off to her. :sunny:

sidecar bob
20th October 2008, 20:33
Thanks for posting the photos up Kick. Jo, It was cool getting those texts from you after each session, i could really feel the adrenaline in them, you did well girl, look forward to competing against you soon!!

scumdog
20th October 2008, 20:36
Good on ya girlie, get into it!!:headbang:

Skunk
20th October 2008, 20:57
Awesome Joni... Much better looking swinger than Kickaha. One practice day - how much faster is the unit now Kickaha's not on it? :)

chanceyy
20th October 2008, 21:51
great write up kick ..

blardy good going Joni :) :clap:

Ms Piggy
21st October 2008, 05:44
Well done Joni! :2thumbsup Great write Warwick (ya BIG sook!).

scrivy
21st October 2008, 08:14
Well done Babe!!

I too was like Kick - I had big tears rolling down my face when I heard that you were on Divvo's rig - it was so emotional for me.

NOT!!
Kick you are in deed one soft b@stard!!! I think the S.I. sidecar boys should disown you!!!


Joni, you are indeed the pants wearer in your house............. ;)

Number One
21st October 2008, 08:17
Good on you Joni well done you big brave thing. Sounds like you had a blast. Good write up too Kickaha :sunny:

Kickaha
21st October 2008, 16:25
NOT!!
Kick you are in deed one soft b@stard!!! I think the S.I. sidecar boys should disown you!!!



Fuck off you limp wristed homo here's how hard I am

Crashed bike, fractured wrist, got back on and still finished third and did the rest of the days racing

Crashed biked, fractured ankle, walked back from the hairpin pushing the bike and still did the rest of the days racing

In comparison you use your masturbation induced RSI to explain away your slowness at different events instead of just hardnening the fuck up and getting on with it (which is what I would do) :lol: :bleh: :finger: :shake:

She was awesome:hug:


Awesome Joni... Much better looking swinger than Kickaha. One practice day - how much faster is the unit now Kickaha's not on it? :)

Oh yeah just about forgot about you :finger: :finger:

James Deuce
21st October 2008, 18:08
Truly inspirational stuff. It does get rather tiresome finding out that yet another female possesses testicles rather bigger than my own. I may have to take back that offer of a left testicle to crasherfromwayback. Mine's probably not big enough.

Good on you for "manning" up and admitting to having human emotions instead a thin layer of demeaning banter over an acne ridden teenager's soldi core of self-loathing Warwick.

scrivy
23rd October 2008, 14:19
Fuck off you limp wristed homo here's how hard I am

Crashed bike, fractured wrist, got back on and still finished third and did the rest of the days racing

Crashed bike, fractured ankle, walked back from the hairpin pushing the bike and still did the rest of the days racing


Mate, so what you're trying to say is that not only can't you swing, but you also cant ride for shit either!!
No wonder you always have a tear in your eye!!!! You poor poor sad limp wristed S.I. fag!!

And here was Sidecar Bob and I thinking that you might be able to swing on the BMW posty chair. Mate, you'd be too scared to even leave the pits!! We might have to recruit the bigger balled Joni to do it!!


:shake::nya::kick:

Actually Kick, in all seriousness, if we found you a sidecar crochet pattern, would you be interested???




:whistle:

SDU
23rd October 2008, 14:52
Awesome Joni:niceone: She looks pretty comfy there W, you might have to find another rig yet.

scrivy
23rd October 2008, 15:04
There's a few other rigs around, but come on, would you want an overweight, slow, unco, scared, homo on your chair??
Besides, he'd go through all your wifes tissues in the pits!! :crybaby:
I've heard when he farts, it makes the pits smell of pies.......... :rolleyes:

Kickaha
23rd October 2008, 16:20
And here was Sidecar Bob and I thinking that you might be able to swing on the BMW posty chair.

I'd love to thanks



Actually Kick, in all seriousness, if we found you a sidecar crochet pattern, would you be interested???

Pass it on to Bob seeing as he swings for you he'd have plenty of time to do while racing



I've heard when he farts, it makes the pits smell of pies.......... :rolleyes:

Where as yours probably smell of sidecarbobs semen

Maha
23rd October 2008, 16:30
That is brilliant, always thought you were Joni's sidekick but there ya go.
Big ups to joni, ya'll must have been buzzing for a couple of days either side.

scrivy
23rd October 2008, 18:32
I'd love to thanks
You might get a chance at Wangas........


Pass it on to Bob seeing as he swings for you he'd have plenty of time to do while racing
Well, yeah, he does, cause he's such a natural passenger, that whatever I throw at him, he always sorts it!! Didn't you see him yawning all Nats?? while the rest of ya homos weren't cutting the mustard........



Scrivy
:eek: