Bloody Halloween!

[Donor]

I don't do Halloween - bloody imported celebrations for retail purposes piss me off!

I also don't do Xmas, Easter, Valentines day or anything else that requires financial outlay, apart from birthdays which I feel are a valid celebration of something real.

So my wife bought some small chocolate bars in case we have any neighbourhood scrotes scavenging at our door.

I've just hidden them.

Damned if I'm feeding the neighbourhood bunnies, after having spent several hundred dollars in paint covering their bloody tagging on my fence over the last 12 months!

I'm such a meanie... I love it...

[Hitcher]

The water pistol is loaded and waiting by the front door.

[Ixion]

Someone made a comment to me the other day, which I thought perspicacious, that the rise in popularity of Halloween parallels the decline of Guy Fawkes.

When I was young, we were all too busy blowing things up in early November to have time for other amusements. Now that Guy Fawkes has been bowdlerised and emasculated , kids naturally have lost interest.

The wowser fun police have a lot to answer for. Oh for the chance to blow THEM up.

[imdying]

3 hours ago I would've probably agreed... but that was before I went for my morning walk and met a cute young thing with great boobs squeezed into a little devils outfit. Now, I'm all for it :first:

[vifferman]

Oh crap! Is it that time of year again? :eek5:

Every year, I hope to have the front gate installed in time to keep the Halloween beggars from our door, but so far it's been an Epic Fail.
We still have damage to our cedar front door from some "trickers" scribbling on it, and to the powdercoat on the gargre door from some other disgruntled beggars egging it.
Maybe it'd be easier to just feed the little feckers...

[RantyDave]

Oh crap! Is it that time of year again?
Yeah, it's today, man. I've drawn the short straw and will be joining some small people for door to door harassment. Guy Fawkes was/is much better.

Dave

[EJK]

.......
I'm such a meanie... I love it...

Awww thats so sweet....

[gijoe1313]

I remember scaring buggery out of them with my Boba Fett outfit last year :devil2: I'd rock up to the door with the whole ensemble and watch their little eyes bug out ... and its great when they get over their shock and ask for some treats ... if they haven't run away by them! :rofl:

If they do, then I give them all the old mouldering lollies festering away in the back of the pantry! :msn-wink:

[Finn]

I say bring it on! Those indoctrinated little shits are up for a few surprises tonight I tell yah. In a court of law, they did ask for "trick or treat". Offer and acceptance I say. Fat little fuckers.

[nodrog]

i have a bag of jaffas that i have been soaking in Roundup for a week, i bet you they dont ask again next year.

[Donor]

I'm wondering if I should perhaps knock together an indemnity form that absolves myself and the household within which I live from any immediate or future health/wellness issues that arise from said child consuming all/any lollies provided to them from said self and/or household?

State the form must be signed by persons over 18 or a legal guardian in the event the lolly applicant is under 18.

Make the fuckers fill it out in triplicate.

Then tell them I don't have any lollies.

Do you think they'd cry?

Nah, this is Papakura east, they'd just tag my fence, torch my car and rape my cat...

[BIGBOSSMAN]

Good luck to you all, I'm sick of throwing money at rude little brats - well this year anyway. Time for a break.:mellow:
So I'm off on a ride

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=84999

Have fun eh !

[Swoop]

With the child obesity epidemic, I feel that giving vegetables would be better than sweeties.:chase:

Better go clean the 12 guage in case the buggers call around.

[MisterD]

With the child obesity epidemic, I feel that giving vegetables would be better than sweeties.:chase:

Better go clean the 12 guage in case the buggers call around.

I never thought I'd ever say this but: Broccoli FTW!

[slimjim]

O hum bug....nope don't belive in this...its wrong...yet we try an teach=stranger stranger! yet we allow them to go door to door...in different streets....

[Tank]

One part of halloween that DIDNT make it from the US is the 'jack o lantern'

In the US - if you have one out the front then you are a 'Halloween house' and will have candy etc.

If you have no jack o lantern then you aren't a Halloween house and people don't knock.

I far prefer the 'opting in' approach as opposed to the Kiwi - we will knock on every fuckers door till we get our candy unless they have a sign out the front.

[Tank]

3 hours ago I would've probably agreed... but that was before I went for my morning walk and met a cute young thing with great boobs squeezed into a little devils outfit. Now, I'm all for it :first:

The fact that she was 8 years old didnt worry you?

[slofox]

If, like me, you are a crabby old man who lives alone, the little buggers never come near you....ht. ht. ht........

[Mully]

I far prefer the 'opting in' approach as opposed to the Kiwi - we will knock on every fuckers door till we get our candy unless they have a sign out the front.

Great idea. We had a little turd last year that knocked and decided that we didn't get to the door quickly enough so TRIED THE DOOR.

Little cnut.

I fucking hate Halloween. I fail to see why I should subsidise the lolly intake of the local reprobates.

[imdying]

The fact that she was 8 years old didnt worry you?If an 8 year old can grow boobs like that, then booooy did I waste my primary school years :eek:

[slofox]

Speaking of Jack o' Lanterns....scope this one out.......

[AllanB]

3 hours ago i would've probably agreed... But that was before i went for my morning walk and met a cute young thing with great boobs squeezed into a little devils outfit. Now, i'm all for it :first:

what part of christchurch??????

[Bren]

My wife is throwing a halloween party at the local library where she works...I was thinking I might go dressed up as a KKK member....don't think it will go down well in Brotaki!!!!

:p:

[AllanB]

I've got kids coming over for a party - watch a scary movie and pig out on treats. They will have fun and not end up knocking on doors.

Lots of parties happening for the late teens and early 20's tonight.

Just a bit of fun for the young ones.

[Trollkid]

We have two dogs that do a tag team. The cute little Jack Russell lures them in ...then the Rotie comes around the corner barking. For some reason that don't come past the gate and they don't come back. :lol:

[gijoe1313]

Bah. Humbug. :rofl: Mmmm humbugs, been a whiles since I had one of them .. wonder if I can do swopsies with the little tykes so I can lay my greasy, grubby mitts on some sweets I haven't eaten in ages!

:shifty:

[jim.cox]

Maybe it'd be easier to just feed the little feckers...

Nah, just Taser the fuckers

[rainman]

I don't do Halloween - bloody imported celebrations for retail purposes piss me off!

I always struggle to see the difference between "trick or treat" and "demanding with menaces". My teenager informs me that "no-one actually follows through on the threat of a trick, dad". So it's a thoroughly NZised Halloween, then?


The water pistol is loaded and waiting by the front door.

Hmmm. Perhaps I should get my blowpipe down! Get the little bastards before they get to the front door.


When I was young, we were all too busy blowing things up in early November to have time for other amusements. Now that Guy Fawkes has been bowdlerised and emasculated , kids naturally have lost interest.

It's a good point you make there. Ah, I fondly remember blowing things up. Rockets. Those big bang things that looked like only slightly downsized sticks of dynamite. Making our own bigger and better versions by extracting all the gunpowder from a bunch of bought ones. The fact we could buy explosives from the corner dairy. Or charcoal, saltpetre and sulphur from the chemist, at the same time - and the chemist would just tell us to have fun. Wasn't only early November, though... we had "chemistry sets", and I'm not talking Johnny's little P lab...


Nah, this is Papakura east, they'd just tag my fence, torch my car and rape my cat...

LOL!

[MIXONE]

364 days of the year we say don't take lollies off strangers and on the 365th it's.........:doh:

[Donor]

*tcoh*

5 spawn of ethnic brethren from across the waves arrive on my doorstep.

Out at the gate is a people mover with mum, dad, aunty and nana watching on.

Gave the little bastards an apple and told them to share.

Don't think they were that impressed.

But given they have exceeded their carbon footprint, and hadn't even tried to wear anything like a costume, I think it was a magnanimous gesture...

[sAsLEX]

http://content.pyzam.com/funnypics/misc/free_candy_van.jpg

[MisterD]

Having just seen that killjoy "family values" woman on Close Up, I can now say with certainty that I am all for this valuable link to our pre-christian past.

The neighbours' kids costumes were great too. :bleh::niceone:

[Oscar]

The fact that she was 8 years old didnt worry you?

Yeah but she had the body of a 7 year old...

[Pussy]

I'm 100% with Donor on this one.





Perhaps a good trick may be to give the kids demanding lollies a bar of laxative chocolate each.....

[Oscar]

Seeing the number of Curmudgeonly comments in here, it almost gives one hope for this country. Now if we only change the law back so that we could thrash the little bastids...

Grumpy Cahnts unite!!

[Swoop]

One of the better haloween costumes...

or is it a costume?:clap:

[icekiwi]

I'm 100% with Donor on this one.





Perhaps a good trick may be to give the kids demanding lollies a bar of laxative chocolate each.....

I'm with you on that one....
An watch them "run" down the road....:rofl::rofl:

[PrincessBandit]

...

When I was young, we were all too busy blowing things up in early November to have time for other amusements. Now that Guy Fawkes has been bowdlerised and emasculated , kids naturally have lost interest.

Your middle name isn't Guy by any chance is it:whistle:


I remember scaring buggery out of them with my Boba Fett outfit last year :devil2: I'd rock up to the door with the whole ensemble and watch their little eyes bug out ... and its great when they get over their shock and ask for some treats ... if they haven't run away by them! :rofl:

If they do, then I give them all the old mouldering lollies festering away in the back of the pantry! :msn-wink:
Now that's a classic. I've sometimes wondered about having a horrendously scary costume all set to go to frighten the bejeepers out of them. I'd love to see them take off in terror when trying to con me out of treats. But that's just cos Im a meanie too.


Great idea. We had a little turd last year that knocked and decided that we didn't get to the door quickly enough so TRIED THE DOOR.Little cnut.I fucking hate Halloween. I fail to see why I should subsidise the lolly intake of the local reprobates.
I can't stand it either - just another American import reeking of consumerism. Rant done. :calm:


Speaking of Jack o' Lanterns....scope this one out.......
Now THAT would be a scary costume to frighten away the neighbourhood scroungers mwahahahahahaha Now off to find my body paint....


I've got kids coming over for a party - watch a scary movie and pig out on treats. They will have fun and not end up knocking on doors.

Lots of parties happening for the late teens and early 20's tonight.

Just a bit of fun for the young ones.
Great idea AllanB, let them have their celebration and fun at home. That way they can have their costumes, food, etc. etc. without disturbing others who don't want any part of Halloween (except maybe mum and dad who have to host it!)


I'm 100% with Donor on this one.
Perhaps a good trick may be to give the kids demanding lollies a bar of laxative chocolate each.....

I'm with Donor too Pussy. I like your idea as well, just make sure Gassit Girl doesn't accidentally use them to make icing for the banana cake :buggerd:

[Ixion]

One of the better haloween costumes...

or is it a costume?:clap:

What precisely IS that child doing to the reverend gentleman ?

[alanzs]

Nah, this is Papakura east, they'd just tag my fence, torch my car and rape my cat...

You should kill your cat and hang it in front of the door. It'll scare the little kids off...:clap:

[Swoop]

What precisely IS that child doing to the reverend gentleman ?
Obviously earning his sweets.

[Deano]

Bah humbug eh ?

What a bunch of wankers.

I just had 5 teen hotties at my door.....I gave them each a couple of lollipops asking if they had been good girls.

They said yes except for the deviant looking one with horns.

I then asked if they had any good tricks ? What are you meant to do huh ?

[slofox]

What precisely IS that child doing to the reverend gentleman ?

Yeah - I was wondering that as well!!!! must be a choir boy......

[SixPackBack]

Bah humbug eh ?

What a bunch of wankers.

I just had 5 teen hotties at my door.....I gave them each a couple of lollipops asking if they had been good girls.

They said yes except for the deviant looking one with horns.

I then asked if they had any good tricks ? What are you meant to do huh ?

Fooken oath Deano..........what a bunch of miserable coonts. I look forward to Halloween, seeing the kids happy makes my day:niceone:

[Virago]

Halloween brings out a level of intolerence and hysteria that never fails to astound me. Alas, the days of neighbourhood community spirit appear to be a distant memory.

From my own childhood (back in the 60's), I remember playing in the street with my neighboorhood pals, and knowing all the people in the street - even the ones without kids of their own. It was a community, with the trust and tolerance that grows from shared lives.

My wife grew up on the other side of the world, but her childhood memories are similar.

The world has changed. Contempt and mistrust have replaced the community co-operation. It is no longer socially acceptable for children to talk to their adult neighbours - and intolerable for those adults to interact with those children.

Halloween could be a chance to break down those barriers. A ceremony where the children can indulge in fancy-dress, and parade around their neighbours, with perhaps the reward of a lolly or two.

Ah well.

[rottiguy]

haha yep that's another reason I love my dogs, I hear the clink of the front gate and the dogs start barking their bollocks off and by the time I get to the front door the little muteoids have legged it down the road :) trick, treat, or bite on the arse :woohoo:


I don't do Halloween - bloody imported celebrations for retail purposes piss me off!

I also don't do Xmas, Easter, Valentines day or anything else that requires financial outlay, apart from birthdays which I feel are a valid celebration of something real.

So my wife bought some small chocolate bars in case we have any neighbourhood scrotes scavenging at our door.

I've just hidden them.

Damned if I'm feeding the neighbourhood bunnies, after having spent several hundred dollars in paint covering their bloody tagging on my fence over the last 12 months!

I'm such a meanie... I love it...

[RantyDave]

Having just seen that killjoy "family values" woman on Close Up, I can now say with certainty that I am all for this valuable link to our pre-christian past.
I had a quite glorious experience this evening to which I hope you will relate.

Or, in other words, check this shit out.

So, I take the kids trick/treating. It's a nice neighbourhood so they didn't score any weed, but never mind. They did, however, get little orange baggies from the obscenely Christian house - neatly tied up with little tags that have messages about how Jesus loves them or something. We then meet up with the zillion other kids in our little village hall thing and they are all taking the piss out of these little "Jesus loves you" tags. Wonderful. Makes me hopeful for the future.

Dave

[RantyDave]

I then asked if they had any good tricks ? What are you meant to do huh ?
Well, if you don't ask...

Dave

[Deano]

I heard the 'christians' were organising a "saints and angels" party tonight .

[Fatt Max]

I'm loving the scary season this year.

You see, I now own a big black dog with sharp teeth and hind leg muscles the size of Rangitoto island.

Had a couple of the local kiddy winks knock on my door, disturbing my footie viewing pleasure so I let the mutt answer it. The little urchin dressed as a pirate (...???...) fair shite himself when Spanner came bounding towards him. I laughed so much I had a little seepage, if you know what I mean.

Fecking entertainment

Oh, I also saw a chick with knockers like a dead heat in a zeppelin race squeezed into a little Saucy Witch outfit. Another reason to love halloween

Now, wher's my tissues.....

[Hitcher]

I heard the 'christians' were organising a "saints and angels" party tonight .

Oh for god's sake...

[Mully]

Oh for god's sake...

Yes, that is precisely why.

[Sparrowhawk]

I heard the 'christians' were organising a "saints and angels" party tonight .

Great :niceone:

First, just like the post above where parents were hosting a party, keeps the kids safe but they can still dress up & have fun. :banana:

Second, keeps the little shits off my front doorstep demanding lollies. :done:

Donor, it's only rape if your cat doesn't consent. I've seen her work. Naughty pussy :lol:

[Gremlin]

We have to be doing something right... not a single knock :clap:

House is on the road... obviously East Auckland is a dangerous place to be doing a walkabout. I swear its not my fault either!

[Trudes]

We didn't have any either, but I think that has more to do with the neighbours kids spending the weekend at their dad's house more than us being grumpy fucks!

[James Deuce]

Pleased to say that I no longer have any bags of melamine loaded Chinese lollies in the house now.

[jafar]

We had a couple of lots of kids round last night with their parents, the costumes were neat & they all seemed to be having fun.
Stepdaughter went out with her friends (in costume) & had fun too.:love:....
Makes more sense than celebrating Guy Fawkes failing to blow up politicians:2guns::done:

[James Deuce]

Makes more sense than celebrating Guy Fawkes failing to blow up politicians:2guns::done:

The dude was an Italian Mercenary and he was employed by a group trying to prevent the evolution of the sort of society that you live in now.

It is worth celebrating.

[Jez]

The dude was an Italian Mercenary and he was employed by a group trying to prevent the evolution of the sort of society that you live in now.

It is worth celebrating.

who gives a rats ass about why we celebrate Guy Fawkes??? I just like blowing shit up plain and f%^king simple!

btw the kids had a good time trick or treating, but it would have been nicer if we had the jack'o'lanterns giving us a clue as to which houses they were welcome and which houses they were gonna receive a nasty "F^^^ OFF!!!" from ... i mean telling a 6 and a 4 year old to "F^^^ OFF!!!" is a bit rough no matter what your views on halloween are ... fortunately they forgot about it faster than dad did

[JMemonic]

I rell you if you are a shift worker this is a bastard of an idea, cant get any sleep before you start a night shift, boo hoo say the friends of this event well consider this the person who has had no sleep is the ED nurse or doctor, you or yours get hit by a drunk driver out cruising to impress all the hotties, once at the hospital said staff are too tired to make the correct decision.

Ok I am not in that serious a position but I know folks who are and you put a note on the door say don't bother not interested sleeping what ever the little prats still knock.

[Dave Lobster]

The dude was an Italian Mercenary .

I think I've spotted why he failed..

[Goblin]

I was heading home from the track day and saw a large number of kids in costume out on the streets. Got home to my kids and my 11 year old told me the boys from 2 doors down had been over "Trick or Treating".
They invited themselves in, looked at the playstation and said "Chur au!! Can I play your playstation au?!?" They then went into my son's bedroom and said "Au! You got heaps of lego au!" Then went into other son's bedroom and reckoned his bed was messy. Then went into my bedroom and said "AU! She gotta HUGE bed au!!!" Poor Matty was wondering how to get rid of them so told them "My mum will be home soon and if she sees you here she'll get angry". So they buggered off.:laugh:
That's the first time any kids have ever trick or treated at our place, and hopefully the last.
Just prior to the nosy neighbors some telemarketer phoned and Matty answered. The woman asked to speak to his mother and he told her mum was on the toilet doing poohs!:lol:

Before I get accused of leaving my kids home alone, my mum lives next door and was there for them.

[Gareth51]

We must live too far up the hill for the little fatties too walk,not a single knock at the door,so I had to eat all the lollies myself.

[alanzs]

We had a few come by. I wear a black helmet with full face tinted visor and scream and rattle the door when they knock on the door. Gotta make the little ones a wee bit scared! Then, they get a lollie or three... :laugh:

[Lucy]

I reckon all the grumpy haters are just jealous cos they are old. Think back to when you were kids - if someone had the idea that you could knock on doors and get free lollies you'd be all for it!

I, on the other hand, who are much more reasonable and perfect than you, don't like it because I am a holy Christian.

[Dave Lobster]

I, on the other hand, who are much more reasonable and perfect than you, don't like it because I am a holy Christian.

How tolerant of you!

[Lucy]

How tolerant of you!


Bless you.

[Dave Lobster]

I didn't sneeze.

[jafar]

The dude was an Italian Mercenary and he was employed by a group trying to prevent the evolution of the sort of society that you live in now.

It is worth celebrating.

He was a yorkshire man & a catholic soldier,:confused:
The point I was making is that he failed to blow up the houses of parliment...... Now if he had succeeded then that would be worth cellebrating:shit:

[Skyryder]

Someone made a comment to me the other day, which I thought perspicacious, that the rise in popularity of Halloween parallels the decline of Guy Fawkes.

When I was young, we were all too busy blowing things up in early November to have time for other amusements. Now that Guy Fawkes has been bowdlerised and emasculated , kids naturally have lost interest.

The wowser fun police have a lot to answer for. Oh for the chance to blow THEM up.


Yep we just import all these American traditions and call it culture. There's not a decent firework display now that has not been taken over by radio stations etc. Bartads reay piss me off with the music that they play. So loud you can' even hear the bang's anymore. As for this trick or treat thing that's just a joke. Trick any of the kids today and you'll most likely find ya self up with a law suit or they'll come back and tag ya place.

Give me the penny for the Guy days, at least the kids got to spend the money on what they wanted.

Changing times ol; son son changing times.

[varminter]

Good job he never succeeded or we would all be fekin' catliks