Kezzafish's illegal cross country race..

[secondfield]

i'm taking my machette up karapoti on sunday and i'm gonna cut us an old track clear and stage an illegal cross country race. You in for some muscle work?

haha! yep! the best idea in ages mate! :woohoo:

Not sure on the rules and reg's for a few of the boys to get together and stage a 'mates' x-country / enduro enduro event for a day ... maybe one of the other KB's could offer some advice ...

On a lighter note we could call it 'kezzas karipoti ballbuster' or maybe just 'the bastard run' keeping it porfound and intelligent sounding :clap:

A 10 buck entry fee secures you a participation certificate and prize booty of:

1st Carton of smokes and a dozen stienies
2nd Bottle of Jimmy beam
3rd A black label penthouse (circa 1980)

Last: the latest edition of 'out' magazine (nz's homo mag) ;)

At the risk of sounding un PC and coming across as a munter :Oops: there are always viable alternatives to prizes etc.

maybe Daffyd could sponsor our event (I can see him cringing now:sweatdrop)

The course:
Start of pram track then across the link track, down the staircase, up the rockgarden and then run back to the start ... take the better part of an hour possibly?? infite variations exist though (include the rollercoaster?)

Bikes leave at two minute intervals apart:
Tracks signposted
Marshalls at the start of each section
Radio comms / cell coverage / first aid trained person required for medical emergencies ... and maybe a quad on standby to medevac anyone ...

The rider with the fastest time overall wins the booty ... or the gay mag

Last but not least - a pissup afterwards and video footage from the event screened at my house by the beach ...

Kezza cant ride in it because he will invaribly come last just to secure the prize :yes:

[cheese]

LOL sounds hillarious. I'd be too scared to enter incase I got last place!!!

Watch out Tarawera 100, Suzi 6 hour and GNCC..... There is a new race out there that will pull in all the racers..... LOL who knows, might even be able to get knighter to race in this one!!! LOL

[Reckless]

Last: the latest edition of 'out' magazine (nz's homo mag) ;)

How'd you know about that mag? I didn't even know it existed :buggerd:

[Danger]

Ha ha busted!

[dafydd roberts]

haha! yep! the best idea in ages mate! :woohoo:

Not sure on the rules and reg's for a few of the boys to get together and stage a 'mates' x-country / enduro enduro event for a day ... maybe one of the other KB's could offer some advice ...

On a lighter note we could call it 'kezzas karipoti ballbuster' or maybe just 'the bastard run' keeping it porfound and intelligent sounding :clap:

A 10 buck entry fee secures you a participation certificate and prize booty of:

1st Carton of smokes and a dozen stienies
2nd Bottle of Jimmy beam
3rd A black label penthouse (circa 1980)

Last: the latest edition of 'out' magazine (nz's homo mag) ;)

At the risk of sounding un PC and coming across as a munter :Oops: there are always viable alternatives to prizes etc.

maybe Daffyd could sponsor our event (I can see him cringing now:sweatdrop)

The course:
Start of pram track then across the link track, down the staircase, up the rockgarden and then run back to the start ... take the better part of an hour possibly?? infite variations exist though (include the rollercoaster?)

Bikes leave at two minute intervals apart:
Tracks signposted
Marshalls at the start of each section
Radio comms / cell coverage / first aid trained person required for medical emergencies ... and maybe a quad on standby to medevac anyone ...

The rider with the fastest time overall wins the booty ... or the gay mag

Last but not least - a pissup afterwards and video footage from the event screened at my house by the beach ...

Kezza cant ride in it because he will invaribly come last just to secure the prize :yes:

Sounds Interesting. I could put up some Pro-clean for first place. :clap:

[kezzafish]

Wanker. but it's a fukken great idea even if i do say so myself. i was thinking a shorter loop cos it's gonna be hard to get people to marshall at the intersections. maybe a 30 min loop with less extreme shit but more balls out and 3-4 laps. i had in mind a mass start at the Poti carpark, balls out blast down the gorge then up towards deadwood and through this track that me and dave found on Sunday, it's real bushy and needs clearing hence the machette talk. But it comes out at the main intersection and we could just repeat it 3 times then blast back down the gorge to the carpark for the finnish. gonna be fukken ruthless, Knighter couldn't handle it!

[Hemex]

Shiit!! Sounds fukin brilliant....

Cheese you dont have to worry about the last place mag if I enter the race too... lol..
Or unless you planned to 'race' me for it.. :lol:

[kezzafish]

no prizes. all entry money goes to charity (help secondfield to get to the hero parade fund)

[Hemex]

no prizes. all entry money goes to charity (help secondfield to get to the hero parade fund)

or even Cheese's New Fuel Fund... Fuck hes going to kill me... :lol:

[barty5]

or even Cheese's New Fuel Fund... Fuck hes going to kill me... :lol:

Is that another Cheese pole to be started. :lol:

think i want to come in second place lookin at that list.

[kezzafish]

Sounds Interesting. I could put up some Pro-clean for first place. :clap:

what do you take us for.... amateurs?
i wanna christini 450 for 1st place

[Hemex]

Is that another Cheese pole to be started. :lol:

think i want to come in second place lookin at that list.

hahahahaha
Read my mind barty!! :lol:

[secondfield]

How'd you know about that mag? I didn't even know it existed

Gah! I knew that ole schoolboy question would come up! :blank:

At the magazine shop on lampton quay the gay mags are right next to the guitar world and musician mags ... the hair rose up on the back of my neck when after visiting the place for 6 months reading electric guitar mags i realised i was standing in front of 'that' rack! :(

At first glance I thought it was the bodybuilders section ... :rolleyes: ha!

My mate took the piss 'out' of me, when we went in there one day hahaha.
Reckons I had one stashed inside the pages of the axe magazine.

Long live slash :Oi:

Just thought id 'straighten' that one up :clap:

cue music .... at the gay bar, gay bar :banana:

[Hemex]

the hair rose up on the back of my neck when after visiting the place for 6 months reading electric guitar mags i realised i was standing in front of 'that' rack! :(
:

Think you would have realised sooner had you happened to bend to pick something up... A voice behind you going 'MMMM you look mighty fine in them Jeans boy' :buggerd:... :rofl:

[kezzafish]

whatever cunt.
if that's true then why did i just get a PM from Elton John saying that he'd play "candle in the wind" at our awards ceremony as long as "his boy" secondfield competed wearing nothin but a "purple helmet"?

[Hemex]

whatever cunt.
if that's true then why did i just get a PM from Elton John saying that he'd play "candle in the wind" at our awards ceremony as long as "his boy" secondfield competed wearing nothin but a "purple helmet"?

:lol::lol::lol:
Yeah Freddie 'Poo stabbing' Mercury just rolled in his grave too... :lol:

[secondfield]

hey' ive purple goggles motherfucker not me helmet.

And that wont be turning purple anytime soon ........ :laugh:

Im still at work, the mrs is at home ...... :laugh:

[kezzafish]

right....so...... now that we've all calmed down a bit. Where can i get some bunting? any suggestions on organising these type o things? i'm not gonna bother doing any timing. too difficult. that's why i figured it'd be easier to do a mass start?

[barty5]

Reckons I had one stashed inside the pages of the axe magazine.

So did you????

[kezzafish]

what does it matter? he meant to say "battle axe" magazine. "the quarterly editorial for the discerning chutney ferret"

[barty5]

Where can i get some bunting? any suggestions on organising these type o things?

Now there is a bad use of words givin your gay mag comments. :lol:

But if it the tape your after could try local hardware store bunning mitre10 placemakers as long as your not to bothered with what writern on it.

[secondfield]

Okay, so its now called the 'chutney ferret classic' :done:

:clap:


I proposed the staggered starts for a couple of reasons....

- Karipoti is a public access area. Two way traffic rules apply. If we have a mob of guy's bottlenecking,jockeying for position, passing, roosting each other with rocks in the hazardous area that is the gorge you mention, that will be dangerous. One side is a steep dropoff, and the track is about two meters wide for the majority of the run in.

- In the tight areas, mudbogs, rutted climbs, rock sections this gives the boys more time to assess the situation and choose lines. If it aint the right line and a re-attempt has to be made then again bottlnecking and frustration wont prevail. It will be more of an individual event, where the idea is to post the best time overall. Of course some guy's will catch up and pass, but it wont be a shitfight. You know the nature of the link track, a man needs room to manuver in some of those sections.

It would be a fairly simple task to start riders off at two minute intervals and record the start finish/timings. I guess this could be more of a traditional 'enduro' type event than a balls out cross country. There are some cranking fast sections though!

I guess the riders could even voluntarily be graded as to where they want to start off .. the 'a' graders or competition guy's released first, then progressing back to the weekend warriors and thrillseekers later on. Two minutes should be about the right amount of time to get the rider off to a good start, and ensure saftey.

Down here (Wellington) Aoetea would be a good choice to run an mx type starting lineup for a small x-country race. Its half MX track half hillclimbs..

What the hell is bunting?

[kezzafish]

bunting is that plastic tape stuff that they use to mark off a course. i was thinkin we'd ride through the gorge and bunt off all access to it. we'd only have to bunt it off for 5 mins while we did the run down the gorge and then use this little loop me and dave found because no one else will use it (it's totally overgrown) just have 3-4 people with radios to make sure the coast is clear for the dodgy bits and a max of 15-20 entrants. And as for the mass start danger......? this is the advantage of running an illegal race, people can't complain about something that never happened. i feel we need to start using our MX boots for what they were designed for.... Booting. so stay the fuck out my way fools

What the hell is safety?

[cheese]

Could be better to run the race in Gissy at the tarndale slip. Then everyone could meet half way LOL

[B0000M]

yea, but then id win cos i know all the shortcuts! lol,

id rather come 2nd

[kezzafish]

it runs at karapoti this race. but should anyone wish to run their own in their part of the country i recon you'd get some KB competitors from far afield. It could be a series. the KB illegal racing syndicate! oh shit... this is starting to sound like some homo boy racer fagnannagins. Can i get a blow off valve if i buy a 2stoke?

[secondfield]

Oh oh, wev'e just tainted our hard earned KB'er cred

All this talk of purple helmets, buntings, blow off's, fagnannagins, chutney ferrets and wanting things hard.

:shit:

hey! my little posting light has gone red?? :laugh:

Re Gizzy - the Tarndale slip hillclimb would be the worlds most EXTREME hillclimb, you guy's gotta see that one.. even a section of erzberg would pale in comparison.

Id ride down it on a bmx bike attached to a bungy for a laugh tho ...

[theblacksmith]

How'd you know about that mag? I didn't even know it existed :buggerd:
Me Neither!

[theblacksmith]

Gah! I knew that ole schoolboy question would come up! :blank:

At the magazine shop on lampton quay the gay mags are right next to the guitar world and musician mags ... the hair rose up on the back of my neck when after visiting the place for 6 months reading electric guitar mags i realised i was standing in front of 'that' rack! :(

At first glance I thought it was the bodybuilders section ... :rolleyes: ha!

My mate took the piss 'out' of me, when we went in there one day hahaha.
Reckons I had one stashed inside the pages of the axe magazine.

Long live slash :Oi:

Just thought id 'straighten' that one up :clap:

cue music .... at the gay bar, gay bar :banana:

Apparently there s no demand for 'those' mags north of the Rimutakas.:dodge:he he

[camchain]

Free! OUT magazine. unwanted prize. (Trying for carton of smokes next race)

Special edition featuring Wellington Lady-boy bikers. (Un-used. I only read the articles)

[Wellyman]

Geez i hate the newbie twats who come on here and stir shit. get a life and act your age not your mutha fucken shoesize.
WM

[Ktmboy]

Geez i hate the newbie twats who come on here and stir shit. get a life and act your age not your mutha fucken shoesize.
WM

Get a life Wellyman. Just a bit of fun man. Lighten up.

Hey, you guys give it a go. Thats how the Dead Toad and the T100 started.

I'll donate a bucket of sand from Woodhill. This could go with the OUT mag and remind the winner of Peka Peka beach:hug:

[theblacksmith]

[QUOTE=Ktmboy;1802567]Get a life Wellyman. Just a bit of fun man. Lighten up.

I reckon!!:violin: -
Hey Kezzafish you could also call it the "Fudge Packers Fiasco" lol.

[Hemex]

-
Hey Kezzafish you could also call it the "Fudge Packers Fiasco" lol.

LMAO... how about 'Karapoti's Bender Blast' ? :lol:

[kezzafish]

we've decided on "the chutney ferret run" because it rhymes with "aucklanders take it up the bum"

[theblacksmith]

we've decided on "the chutney ferret run" because it rhymes with "aucklanders take it up the bum"

Brilliant!What a funny thread!

[A&R]

What the hell!!!! :sick:

[Hemex]

we've decided on "the chutney ferret run" because it rhymes with "aucklanders take it up the bum"

LOL..:lol:

Ok...How about....

The Wellingtonian's Illegal Karapoti Race ..
:lol:

[kezzafish]

LOL..:lol:

Ok...How about....

The Wellingtonian's Illegal Karapoti Race ..
:lol:

ha haaa haaaaaa, nice. i'm not gonna try to compete with that.... too good

[flyingcr250]

it runs at karapoti this race. but should anyone wish to run their own in their part of the country i recon you'd get some KB competitors from far afield. It could be a series. the KB illegal racing syndicate! oh shit... this is starting to sound like some homo boy racer fagnannagins. Can i get a blow off valve if i buy a 2stoke?

ha ha ha ha ha show off valve ha ha ha

[barty5]

it runs at karapoti this race. but should anyone wish to run their own in their part of the country i recon you'd get some KB competitors from far afield. It could be a series. the KB illegal racing syndicate! oh shit... this is starting to sound like some homo boy racer fagnannagins. Can i get a blow off valve if i buy a 2stoke?

you would still need to get over sized rims (doves i think they call them in chrome just another way of saying im gay) real big drain pipe exhuast that point out to the side put your front number broad on sideways cut your rear shock spring and front front so your subframe drag and your there. no room for the 20inch sub sorry.

[camchain]

Geez i hate the newbie twats who come on here and stir shit. get a life and act your age not your mutha fucken shoesize.
WM

Whew! Thought this thread was hilarious and I was just havin' a laugh. No offence intended there Wellyman.

I'll 'cover my arse' better next time. LOL :->
Despite being an Auckland resident I reckon I'm probably tough enough for kezzafish's most excellent and venerable event. Oh shit, I just spilled my double mocha trim milk decaf latte, and broke a nail.

[kezzafish]

you would still need to get over sized rims (doves i think they call them in chrome just another way of saying im gay) real big drain pipe exhuast that point out to the side put your front number broad on sideways cut your rear shock spring and front front so your subframe drag and your there. no room for the 20inch sub sorry.

If i got all that stuff kitted out i could just roll through Upper Hutt shopping mall, on the way to the event, all "gangster" and "dope" and "thugged out" and pick me up a sharron or a shontelle

[kezzafish]

Whew! Thought this thread was hilarious and I was just havin' a laugh. No offence intended there Wellyman.

I'll 'cover my arse' better next time. LOL :->
Despite being an Auckland resident I reckon I'm probably tough enough for kezzafish's most excellent and venerable event. Oh shit, I just spilled my double mocha trim milk decaf latte, and broke a nail.

at least you have it with trim milk and not "man milk" like some of your ponsonby counterparts. (woops, there goes that Aucklander bashing again)

[charles23]

Geez i hate the newbie twats who come on here and stir shit. get a life and act your age not your mutha fucken shoesize.
WM

errhhh stink one Wellyman, i kinda liked where they were going with this and I'm not talking about the GAY shit or the AK bashing

[B0000M]

at least you have it with trim milk and not "man milk" like some of your ponsonby counterparts. (woops, there goes that Aucklander bashing again)

hey, give ponsonby a break, its not so bad there now. all the fuckwits live in remuera and parnell. oh and some in grey lynn

[kezzafish]

what happened to the boredom and bullshit thread?

[Hemex]

what happened to the boredom and bullshit thread?

Im in class at uni... bloody bored and its a load of bullshit... The thread must be right fuckin here... AHHHHH :scratch::2guns: another plan for a school shoot out brews :shifty:

[kezzafish]

Im in class at uni... bloody bored and its a load of bullshit... The thread must be right fuckin here... AHHHHH :scratch::2guns: another plan for a school shoot out brews :shifty:

yep, i couldn't do it... i couldn't handle high school! and now i'm a re re re retard. I don't get what happened to the thread? i never got a warning? it's not in general biker ravings? it's just gone? looks like a case of some special agent fun police

[Reckless]

Its in the BIN mate "pointless drivel" here http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=85945&page=6

Didn't you have it subscribed to??

You can still post to it its just where it belongs now!!! LOL!!

[kezzafish]

Its in the BIN mate "pointless drivel" here http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=85945&page=6

Didn't you have it subscribed to??

You can still post to it its just where it belongs now!!! LOL!!

wow, i see. never knew that existed. i never knew you could subscribe. and i've heard people talking about red and green "rep" but never seen that before either! i just saw mine.

It wasn't pointless. the point was entertainment. and it was funny as fuck. oh well. i won't do that again

[noobi]

it wasnt pointless?
it was people who ride offroad motorcylces making fun of other people who ride offroad motorcycles and using comical homosexual jokes and puns to do so:innocent::wari:
it was funny while it lasted, who was the dicatator who moved our thread to blue world?? :2guns:

[kezzafish]

it wasnt pointless?
it was people who ride offroad motorcylces making fun of other people who ride offroad motorcycles and using comical homosexual jokes and puns to do so:innocent::wari:
it was funny while it lasted, who was the dicatator who moved our thread to blue world?? :2guns:

indeed it was... one of my proudest moments
gosh those jovial homosexuals.... when will they cease to bear the brunt of our laughter?

[mattwood]

Its in the BIN mate "pointless drivel" here http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=85945&page=6

Didn't you have it subscribed to??

You can still post to it its just where it belongs now!!! LOL!!

ohh.. damn, was lookn foward to havn it round for awhile :devil2:

[theblacksmith]

I got up early in the morning to have a look and alas it was gone!Poofs!