View Full Version : Lonely biker because of nagging missus!
rocketman1
15th November 2008, 20:19
Just reading the off road threads, guy there has lost his off road riding mates due to nagging girlfriends that have convinced their partners(his Mates) to sell their bikes. HOW SAD is that.
Just wondering how many other good kiwi blokes have given up road riding because of pressure from the missus.
THIS IS A TRADGEDY KBR's.
There should be a union for bike riders, to uphold the cause of the BIKER ie "Great Snow Man' ...
The young ones won't know, but The Great Snow Man was a great ballad made about 45 years ago about this dude who, was young had youth, mates, good looks, and a big fine car (not bike) and his missus slowly dragged him down to being just another "Fall into line pleb" as the song says " the great snow man started melting away"... all a bit sad really, but I can sympathize with what this lad is going through.
I know of one colleague who's wife said, the bikes goes or I do..
Haha.... hes still got his bike...such are joys of a biker.
MadDuck
15th November 2008, 20:22
I know of one colleague who's wife said, the bikes goes or I do...
I trust he helped her pack her bag.....
Fatt Max
15th November 2008, 20:26
It's a sad day when the trouble n strife gets the claws in.
However, I upgraded form a CV50 to a VL250. Herself got a bit piddled off at the start because "we could have used that money for furniture and curtains and blah de blah de blah"
But, she got over it very quick when I gave the CV to her and now she loves life on 2 wheels, even thinking of going up a few CC's or two.
The fact that I am also an irresistable love machine also helps....like I said the night I met her...
"Hi, my name is Max. Remeber that because you'll be screaming it later"
It's a good life;)
Ixion
15th November 2008, 20:26
It's never been an issue for me. But a collegue at werk would love to ride a bike. "Why don't you". "No, can't. No way. My wife says she wants a live husband. Just won't listen". Another collegue, used to ride years ago. Always wants to know "Hows the bike going". You can see the wistfulness. "Why don't you get another bike, lots of Born Agains coming back". "Oh, no I don't think I could do that. My partner would be really opposed".
Even had a chick - "It must be cool". "It is, why don't you get one, lots of chicks ride nowadays". "Oh, I couldn't . My boyfriend would have a spazz attack".
Sad.
Jantar
15th November 2008, 20:29
It happened to me once. When I got married in April 1977, on the way from the wedding reception to our first honeymoon night, my new bride turned to me and said "Of course now that we're married you'll sell your bikes, won't you?"
Like a fool I did. All 7 of them went. But then just 3 months later I saw a nice Suzuki T350 Rebel for sale, so I said to my sweet wife "I'm just heading into town for a couple of hours"
Naturally she asked "why?", and when I replied "To buy a bike" she almost exploded. She said that if I came home with a motorbike she was leaving. Well I kept my end of the bargain and arrived home with a lovely green T350. It took 17 years for her to keep her end of the deal and leave. :jerry:
Big Dave
15th November 2008, 20:29
BD: I need a new bike, this GS850 has had it, but there is no way I can get a loan on last years figures. we were still starting up.
Copilot: If you can find a Thunderbird for about twelve grand I'll buy it for you.
It took 8 minutes.
Sam_I_am
15th November 2008, 20:29
or there should be more wives like me who learn to ride a bike too, now we can both ride :-)
Subike
15th November 2008, 20:32
yeap, have had that problem.
Was only able to ride the bike once in three years!
I still have the bike....but not the bitch.
I do know of others who have had that same pressure put on them.
Some manage to keep the bike in the shed or under a tarp behind the woodpile.
It is a sad thing when a woman marries you for who you are then decides once the "ownership" papers are signed that it is her god given right to change you into something she wants. Forgetting the fact that by doing so you become something she no longer wants or, to you, she becomes something you no longer admire.
Girls dont change your men or take away their toys, if you do they will no longer be the man you fell for, just a shadow that will dissapear at sunset into the arms of another, or over hill on the road to nowhere.
MadDuck
15th November 2008, 20:35
It is a sad thing when a woman marries you for who you are then decides once the "ownership" papers are signed that it is her god given right to change you into something she wants.
No whats sad is the amount of guys that choose the wrong woman.
Jantar
15th November 2008, 20:38
No whats sad is the amount of guys that choose the wrong woman.
So true. Stromfrau knows that she comes second to my bikes, and I know that I come second to her horses. A perfect relationship. :love:
SARGE
15th November 2008, 20:42
easier to get forgiveness than permission says I
just go get one and have the dealer thow in some earplugs and KY Jelly ...(2 weeks worth should do it..)
Fatt Max
15th November 2008, 20:45
No whats sad is the amount of guys that choose the wrong woman.
I chose the wrong woman once, about 25 year ago I reckon.
Me and a few of the lads were on shore leave in Hong Kong for a few days, got chatting to this rather nice looking chick...:hug:
A few beers later were are back at her place....
I lift up her frock and find myself looking at the 'Last Turkey In The Shop' :eek5:
That was the wrong woman. In hindsight I should have known better, she did have an adams apple like she was trying to swallow a basketball. :Oops:
Quick exit and back to the bar
Usarka
15th November 2008, 20:47
I've always lived how i want to.
now i'm single and an old cunt.
life needs compromise. Not doing what she says, but not being a selfish cnut either.
FTW at least this 2002 shiraz is going down the bomb.
MadDuck
15th November 2008, 20:55
FTW at least this 2002 shiraz is going down the bomb.
Must be a blardy good shiraz...FTW means? For the Wecord ? :innocent:
Brooke
15th November 2008, 21:02
Some people really annoy me thinking they have the right to take away something from someone they love, but on the other hand for that person letting them. Life is about comprimise, to this day I am sure there are things I do that my husband can't stand and vise versa but that is who I am and who he is and we have always been those people. So long as it's not something that taking you constantly away from your family etc what's the harm.
Some people just need to realise what they've got. At the end of the day if they have a happy husband coming home coz he's been for a ride on his bike with this mates, isn't that better than him sitting on the couch miserable every fine day?????
Brooke
15th November 2008, 21:03
Must be a blardy good shiraz...FTW means? For the Wecord ? :innocent:
Fuck The Wife?????????:devil2: :clap:
sidecar bob
15th November 2008, 21:13
This topic came up with a KB member today.
How many times do you hear, "the missus wont let me buy a new bike" The missus said i couldnt clutter the shed up with any more bike parts" The missus didnt like the bike ive had my heart set on all year, so i bought one i didnt like to keep her happy" etc etc etc.
I really dont understand relationships that work like that.
My ex wife, bless her, had no issue with anything motorcycle & i could have anything my heart desired, and i usually did.
As one our crew remarked on Thursday night with regard to their relationship, "my name is Annette, Not Chris & Annette", Thankyou Unit, that has given me new perspective should i ever decide to enter into another relationship.
bgd
15th November 2008, 21:33
A few years back I worked with a guy who announced one Friday that he was buying a Harley that weekend. What does the wife think, "She doesn't know".
Come Monday, "How's the bike"? "I wasn't even allowed to visit the showroom".
Me on the other hand moved to Singapore a bit over a year back, sans wife who is NZ based. She was a little concerned about the Asian girl threat having been warned by all and sundry about their attraction to expats. I said all I was really interested in was motorbikes, her comment, "When are you getting that bike then"?
Fast forward a year and now I get, "Why don't you test ride a few bikes when you're back in NZ just in case you want to keep one here". I only spend about 4 weeks in NZ a year. :clap:
Charlie41
15th November 2008, 21:40
It is not just women who get all weird on this subject. I dated a guy a while ago that had a problem with me spending so much time on my bike!?!?! It was him or the bike - well, I dumped his ass ;) That is why I am a single girl. I now have a lovely relationship with my Honda LOL:whistle::devil2:
Pedrostt500
15th November 2008, 21:40
For some reason I'm quiet happy single.
rocketman1
15th November 2008, 21:56
It is not just women who get all weird on this subject. I dated a guy a while ago that had a problem with me spending so much time on my bike!?!?! It was him or the bike - well, I dumped his ass ;) That is why I am a single girl. I now have a lovely relationship with my Honda LOL:whistle::devil2:
Well done girl
roy.nz
15th November 2008, 22:00
Thats why you need a missus like mine who loves riding pinion on the road and riding off road by herself :2thumbsup
Gremlin
15th November 2008, 22:03
The only lady in my life has 2 wheels... so I avoid all the shit you seem to get yaselves tangled up in :blink:
Not sure I could call my current bike a female, its a bit brutish... but at the same time, I ent gay, so I guess its another female :laugh:
Don't mind a relationship... but I do know she (when she comes) wouldn't like the answer to the good old "Its me or the bike"
rocketman1
15th November 2008, 22:04
Some people really annoy me thinking they have the right to take away something from someone they love, but on the other hand for that person letting them. Life is about comprimise, to this day I am sure there are things I do that my husband can't stand and vise versa but that is who I am and who he is and we have always been those people. So long as it's not something that taking you constantly away from your family etc what's the harm.
Some people just need to realise what they've got. At the end of the day if they have a happy husband coming home coz he's been for a ride on his bike with this mates, isn't that better than him sitting on the couch miserable every fine day?????
Well said, and how many sad poor sods are sitting at home on the couch thinking I wish.. Hey Life is too short get out and LIVE IT...
I was thinking just this as me and my buddies blasted through the roads at back off Sunny Raglan today, I gave a thought to all the poor sods that are stuck at home shagging about fixing the house, or just blobbing in front of the TV... Just do what you have to get a bike and RIDE IT.. I didnt think about them for long...by the way Haha
Bonez
15th November 2008, 22:13
My wifes is an understanding soul. Gave me petrol money today so I could go for a ride tomorrow, well it was for today but I wasn't up to riding. Absolutely loves to see me out of the house. Tried turning it down but :msn-wink:
Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)
15th November 2008, 23:42
If a partner has known that you ride - right throughout the relationship, then you make a "committment" and an ultimatum is given - I know my answer would be "Fuck Off" - a guy once said to me "Imagine if we lived together, you would have to ask my permission to go riding". Well mate these two things wrong with that statement - the first is never gonna happen and the second is In your fucking dreams sunshine". Hello we are in the 21st century.
We all have choices - we may not like them sometimes but we have them. I cannot and never will understand a partner demanding, requesting that you give up riding. When I hear the excuse "the missus won't let me" I think who the hell does she think she is and where are your balls mate.
Kiwi Graham
16th November 2008, 06:11
What is it about women eh, They get attracted to by being the person you are, the things you do and what your about, then.............they start morphing!!!!!! :gob:
I'm really lucky my Mrs likes my bikes, is even keen to jump on the back when the weather is conducive. :sunny: But some of the other stuff which I was into long before her.....fishing & surfing for instance brings out the objections??????
Fishing brings healthy wholesome food to the table, surfing maintains my chiseled physique (ha ha) so whats the problem? Being quite a smart one my Mrs she worked out the cost of the snapper I caught once, taking into account fuel (for car and boat) launching fees, bait etc FFS!! :bash: The latest thing was "what do you want to go to Big Boys Toys for?" "If you need an explanation you'll never undersand my sweet" I say. Much negotiation later and the whole family is going!!!! A result of sorts I suppose.
Bless her all the same, I feel smug in the knowledge of saying nothing when she has her nails done a pampering massage or a day away 'scrapbooking' (not fukin cheap).......just saving all this amo up for when I want to change one of the bikes ;) They can win the battles boys as long as we win the wars!! :woohoo:
boman
16th November 2008, 06:38
I was lucky. My missus practically bought me my first bike. Then hasseled me for months afterwards to get my proper licence and upgrade to a bigger bike, so we could go out together. When I procrastinated about both, she wanted to get herself one instead.
:crazy: :gob: :woohoo:
raftn
16th November 2008, 07:19
After my marriage break up, of which the bike got sold to pay evil lawyers, i was bike less for two tears. Finally got back into biking, a few months later i met someone new, been seeing each for a few weeks. One Night i say, " Put ths gear on i am taking you for a ride out for dinner to maratai" I thought if she don't like, then its all over! As we were banking into a lovely left hander, i heard her yelling"Yippee"......thoughts of relief went through my mind. If she hadnt of liked it there is no way we would be together.
She understands my need to get out, sometimes we tour and sometimes i just go out with my mates, but i have finally met some one who understands and is secure in them selves that the don't get jealous of my time on the bike. Needless to say i am happier than i have ever been.
Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)
16th November 2008, 08:10
Re costing of your hobbies - I bought an expensive ring once and my husband at the time gasped at it and asked how much - I said one Kumo tyre darling maybe 1.5 tyres. Didn't stop him trying to claim my bikes as marital property even tho they were bought 6 months after the split. The C didn't even know I had my motorbike licence. Shame I didn't have the bikes earlier - could have taken him for a ride and scared the living shit out of him - like his driving did to his passengers lol.
jrandom
16th November 2008, 08:15
Being quite a smart one my Mrs she worked out the cost of the snapper I caught once, taking into account fuel (for car and boat) launching fees, bait etc FFS!! :bash:
She does sound like a smart one. I've always thought fishing off a boat was a bit ridiculous for precisely that reason.
So I bought an electric torpedo.
:niceone:
You can generally rely on a decent haul long-lining off the west coast. Once pulled in 20 snapper and gurnard in about 45 minutes.
madbikeboy
16th November 2008, 08:56
My view on this is a little left field.
I was with evil-ex for a LONNGGGG time. I would have gotten less time for murder, without accounting for parole. She looked at me as a rennovation project, wanting to make improvements. This puzzled me for years, as anyone who has met me can see that I'm clearly perfect the way I am. Anyhow, it got to the point where I was getting told what I could do, what I could think, what I could say.
As guys, we are biologically and socially programmed to protect and serve, and we hand our power over gradually, until that fateful day where we realise that we've handed both of 'em over in the bag they came in.
So, fast forward through the split and resultant poverty (for me, not for her, how does that work?), now I'm happy with my equal. She's perfect, she tells me to fuck off and ride when I'm getting uptight, and she books trackdays for me.
So, if you're reading this, pretending you're surfing the NZHerald.co.nz, and you're looking at your Mrs as she huffs and puffs her way through Shortland Street - dump the bitch and run screaming - it is your life that you will save...
madbikeboy
16th November 2008, 08:57
She does sound like a smart one. I've always thought fishing off a boat was a bit ridiculous for precisely that reason.
So I bought an electric torpedo.
:niceone:
You can generally rely on a decent haul long-lining off the west coast. Once pulled in 20 snapper and gurnard in about 45 minutes.
Men fish to escape their wives. They'd rather hang out with other smelly old blokes in a tin can surround by sharks and wild ocean than the Mrs... What price freedom?
jrandom
16th November 2008, 08:57
dump the bitch and run screaming
Having kids makes that a lot harder, mind ewe.
Duke girl
16th November 2008, 09:02
Its so unbelievable how guys who already own bikes and have done for years allow woman who they are with tell them to either give them up or they go. Well the answer to that is would you like a hand with the packing.
What right has any woman got in making her partner give up something that he has had long before he met her. They should except your interest as part of the package of being with you and dammed if I would give them up. It was bad enough for me to give them up when having children but now my girls are all grown up I am happy to say that I am back into them and enjoying every ride I go on. There are plenty of fish in the sea and its just a matter of finding the right 1 who excepts you for who you are and what you have.
spookytooth
16th November 2008, 09:28
If my better half had her way i would need to build a new garage to fit all the bikes in.She is a keeper
scrivy
16th November 2008, 09:31
i could have anything my heart desired, and i usually did.
She knew about the slappers?????:cool::dodge:
wickle
16th November 2008, 09:38
Had the wife's/bike things too! last one commeneted on electris tools in shed, "you dont use them much" I replied when was the last time you used those sewing machines, overlocker and gym things. Got eight bikes and no wife now!
spookytooth
16th November 2008, 09:59
Got eight bikes and no wife now!
that sounds like you got a good trade
Morepower
16th November 2008, 10:12
Great subject. I was lucky , my Ex never stopped me from playing with Cars and Bikes .
I do think that a Guy needs to be a guy and think that if you stand up for yourself you will gain some respect from the other half. You can acknowledge how they feel but in the end its your life and if you get to the other end saying " I wish i had done xyz " then thats just sad.
Slowly losing self respect is no relationship.
SARGE
16th November 2008, 10:14
love hurts....
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vifferman
16th November 2008, 10:24
The vifferbabe realised one day that she was wasting her time getting unhappy about my obsession with bikes, so she decided to try'n take an interest too. She even made me buy our current bike.
She enjoys riding with me, and even planned a 5-day trip for us a couple of years back: route, accomodation, what to pack, etc. All I had to do was get the bike ready.
She hasn't really ridden with me since, mainly because I haven't done any weekend rides, and she needs a better jacket'n'pants. But (however!) she's been talking lately about us riding to Coromandel for the weekend. We would've gone yesterday but my sister's got a house full of in-laws.
All this hasn't been plain sailing, and we've both had to make some sacrifices: if I spend money on 'bike stuff', then it's less money for traveling, and vice-versa. Unfortunately, both take big chunks - the last two bike spends were $1k each, and the last trip was $30k (mind you, it was the first major trip ever).
Beemer
16th November 2008, 10:45
No whats sad is the amount of guys that choose the wrong woman.
True! All this moaning and whinging about their wives not letting them ride, etc is a poor excuse for not having a backbone and standing up for what they want.
I met my husband through motorcycling and there was no danger of me telling him to give up riding or sell his bikes! When we bought a house I offered to buy him a new bike but he faffed around so long we ended up spending that money on concreting our steep gravel driveway instead - his fault, not mine! And the house has five-car (but more bikes) garaging!
On our honeymoon I bought a new bike for myself, and last month he bought two more bikes so now we have seven. The only thing being sold is his old Triumph car, as we need more room in the garage! People say to me "but you can only ride one at a time, so why do you need so many?" to which I reply that they are different bikes - road, off-road, touring, etc and that each fulfils a different purpose - bit like clothes, who wears the same outfit day in, day out?
People say to him that he's lucky having a wife who 'lets' him buy and ride bikes. Lucky? We're both lucky - we enjoy motorcycling and our home and don't have a problem spending money on either. We often head out together on a bike each, or I'll go pillion - or he'll go by himself - whatever we feel like.
I don't ask his permission to buy Italian shoes either, so he didn't blink when I spent $1500 on three pair in Australia earlier this year! I also drink champagne and he doesn't give me a hard time about that either.
Fair enough if a spouse (of either sex) was spending huge amounts on new bikes or racing when money was tight, but to give up the sport completely isn't warranted under any circumstances. Didn't you guys ever talk to your intended partners prior to marrying them about their attitude to motorcycling? If not, why not? If you did and she said she didn't want you riding after you married, were you so blinded by lust you married her anyway? If she said she didn't have a problem with you carrying on riding after you were married and then changed her mind, how about a gentle reminder of her agreement?
So don't tar all of us with the same brush or blame all women because some don't like motorcycles or their husbands having a mind of their own. To quote a Speights' ad, "it's a long road to finding the perfect woman". Don't settle for second-best you pack of losers!
Her_C4
16th November 2008, 10:46
It is not just women who get all weird on this subject. I dated a guy a while ago that had a problem with me spending so much time on my bike!?!?! It was him or the bike - well, I dumped his ass ;) That is why I am a single girl. I now have a lovely relationship with my Honda LOL:whistle::devil2:
You are not alone in this. I dated a guy just after I got my L licence and a snazzy wee Honda 250RR. We didn't talk about the bike, although I sensed his resistance over a period of time.
I would say that I was going for a ride and he would ignore me so I would don my gear and be off and catch up with him later.
The day came when we were due to go to a function together, and I said that I would meet him and his friends there on my bike (trying to save money and didn't want to take the car).
His response was a request (politely worded - he was a very polite man), for me not to ride my bike around his friends as it just wasn't done and besides, he added ever so quietly, it was really about time I stopped with the childish notion that women could do anything. He didn't want his friends thinking I was a lesbian.
I believe that he survived and is now living happily in denial somewhere in Eastbourne.
Subike
16th November 2008, 11:31
True! All this moaning and whinging about their wives not letting them ride, etc is a poor excuse for not having a backbone and standing up for what they want.
. To quote a Speights' ad, "it's a long road to finding the perfect woman". Don't settle for second-best you pack of losers!
I wonder how much of this would apply if your income was below what you have.
Expendable income has a large bearing upon what happens,
we all know that owning and playing with a bike is not a cheap hobby/lifestyle choice.
A woman without spending power is a dangerous creature.
You sat that as men, we make the wrong choices in women?
That we dont have back bone to stand up to them?
The maybe they should be honest with us, trust us, and say what they mean all the time, not only when they choose to.
And makeup is not the only mask many apply to their lives.
The two faces of a woman? or is that, the multiple faces of women.
bgd
16th November 2008, 13:30
.... it was really about time I stopped with the childish notion that women could do anything.
Wow. In my youth, before bikes, the sexiest creatures around were girls on bikes. Now that I'm older, wiser and ride bikes it's still the same.
I do feel sorry for the non riding public.
Moki
16th November 2008, 14:25
It happened to me once. When I got married in April 1977, on the way from the wedding reception to our first honeymoon night, my new bride turned to me and said "Of course now that we're married you'll sell your bikes, won't you?"
Like a fool I did. All 7 of them went. But then just 3 months later I saw a nice Suzuki T350 Rebel for sale, so I said to my sweet wife "I'm just heading into town for a couple of hours"
Naturally she asked "why?", and when I replied "To buy a bike" she almost exploded. She said that if I came home with a motorbike she was leaving. Well I kept my end of the bargain and arrived home with a lovely green T350. It took 17 years for her to keep her end of the deal and leave. :jerry:
You made the right choice... Much better listening to a bike than :hitcher:
Moki
16th November 2008, 14:34
I chose the wrong woman once, about 25 year ago I reckon.
Me and a few of the lads were on shore leave in Hong Kong for a few days, got chatting to this rather nice looking chick...:hug:
A few beers later were are back at her place....
I lift up her frock and find myself looking at the 'Last Turkey In The Shop' :eek5:
That was the wrong woman. In hindsight I should have known better, she did have an adams apple like she was trying to swallow a basketball. :Oops:
Quick exit and back to the bar
So was this the monumental turning point in your life? You know, when you started eating pies?:drool:
Fatt Max
16th November 2008, 14:41
So was this the monumental turning point in your life? You know, when you started eating pies?:drool:
Well, I have to say that yes it was my friend, broken hearts are for assholes....
dipshit
16th November 2008, 15:36
Simple. Just find someone you don't like and buy them half a house.
Saves a lot of wasted years and you can get on with your life.
Beemer
16th November 2008, 16:09
I wonder how much of this would apply if your income was below what you have.
Expendable income has a large bearing upon what happens,
we all know that owning and playing with a bike is not a cheap hobby/lifestyle choice.
A woman without spending power is a dangerous creature.
You sat that as men, we make the wrong choices in women?
That we dont have back bone to stand up to them?
The maybe they should be honest with us, trust us, and say what they mean all the time, not only when they choose to.
And makeup is not the only mask many apply to their lives.
The two faces of a woman? or is that, the multiple faces of women.
Sorry to disappoint you (as most women probably do), but you obviously don't know me or anything about me. As for my income, I've been self-employed for six years and until this year, I had some very lean years. The newest bike in our fleet is my Goose, which I paid $6000 for. My husband's bikes are all second-hand and most date from the 1980s. If we had to turn them all into cold hard cash in a hurry, we may have enough for a holiday or a cheap second-hand car - that's the main reason he keeps them all, because they are not really worth much!
We didn't marry until our early 40s and neither of us had much at that stage in our lives. We may have a house now but we also have a mortgage and the usual bills that most people have. We don't have kids - that's a combination of not really wanting them in the first place and being older and not really wanting to start breeding just because we're married!
A woman without spending power is often that way by choice - and I am not having a dig at those who choose to stay home with kids. Many wives don't work because their husbands earn enough that they don't have to, and if they want to have spending power they could quite easily get a job. My husband works in retail and doesn't exactly earn top dollar. I earn good money now, but we're not rich and I do have a student loan to pay off.
What I'm saying is, don't use the excuse of women moaning for not riding. My husband is living proof that you don't have to own the latest and greatest bike to get out there and have fun. Once you have the bike, it's just petrol, rego, insurance and tyres and petrol is the only thing you have to shell out for every time you ride it. Get a cheap bike and look on it as a hobby. Most women have hobbies or they collect something, so use that as a bargaining tool - "but you spend $XX a week on magazines/getting your nails done/new clothes/etc, the bike is MY hobby".
Men, talk to your women! (Hopefully you only have the one, but woman doesn't sound right!) Ask them why they don't want you riding or owning a bike. If she wants a divorce because you want to ride, then may I respectfully suggest motorcycling is not the only problem the two of you have?
If money is the only barrier to riding, then maybe riding will have to be put aside until you are more financially stable. Certainly if you have kids and money is needed for other things, that has to be taken into consideration. But if that is not the case, things need to be discussed openly and honestly. Look at it another way - how many people give up other hobbies when they get married? Most married men I know still play sport, go out fishing or hunting, etc. Sure, they usually spend a lot of time with their wife and they do things together, but neither one stops doing everything they enjoyed before they married, and neither should they. Marriage should be a union of soul mates, not a punishment!
Okey Dokey
16th November 2008, 16:20
I felt bad reading all these posts about breaking up marriages and spouses being intolerant. It makes me realise how very lucky my partner and I are; he taught me to ride while we were going out, after pillioning me for a while.
For 10 years we have had to share one bike between us due to financial reality, but we each got lots of rides on our own and I was happy to pillion as well.
Now, at last, we have a GSXR each- and he has insisted I have the new one!!!
Anyhoo, I don't want to go all Pollyanna on you guys, but I wanted to add something positive to this thread. Not all wives/husbands are evil.
Beemer
16th November 2008, 16:31
I felt bad reading all these posts about breaking up marriages and spouses being intolerant. It makes me realise how very lucky my partner and I are; he taught me to ride while we were going out, after pillioning me for a while.
For 10 years we have had to share one bike between us due to financial reality, but we each got lots of rides on our own and I was happy to pillion as well.
Now, at last, we have a GSXR each- and he has insisted I have the new one!!!
Anyhoo, I don't want to go all Pollyanna on you guys, but I wanted to add something positive to this thread. Not all wives/husbands are evil.
Yay, another woman who thinks like me! If we could only afford one bike, I'd be happy for that to be one my taller husband could ride and I'd go pillion. The big thing is sharing the fun. I certainly don't think the guys with the flashest and newest bikes have more fun than those on old bikes.
Just look at Valentine's Day - guys think they have to spend a fortune to keep the other half happy. We got fish and chips last year and went down to the beach. Cost us less than $10 and it was the best Valentine's Day we'd ever had!
sweetp
16th November 2008, 16:51
When I started dating again earlier this year i made it very clear that i was after a man who loved bikes as much as me or was willing to learn to ride. Ended up with a wonderful man (who had a similar criteria) who while he owned a harley was happy to buy a sports bike so he could keep up with me.
I have got him into track days, and he got me into poker rides. The only thing we dont do together are rallys - i say they are boy bonding and he should keep going with his brother (read too wimpy to camp on any rallys that start with "cold" - which is pretty much all of them)
I think it is a package deal - people come with hobbies and lifestyles and if you don't like them up front then you shouldn't be with them. If you look at the arguement that it is dangerous - well then would you not marry someone who was in the army? You can get shot!
YellowDog
16th November 2008, 17:00
After being divorced for a couple of years I told my newish girlfriend (5 years ago) that I was getting a bike. She told me that I wasn't however I explained to her that I was happily divorced from a nagging wife that controlled everything that I did and I WAS getting a bike. She insisted that I wasn't.
When I showed up with a bike 2 weeks later, she opened the front door to greet me. She took one look and then slammed the door shut. I ignored her (as we do) and was tinkering (as we do). 10 minutes later the front door opens with my girlfriend in a great set of leathers and helmet I never knew she had. She is a great pillion rider and it turned out to be a very good move. She even paid some money towards my new bike I bought earlier this year; so they're not all bad! At least I have a goodun...........
Subike
16th November 2008, 17:23
Sorry to disappoint you (as most women probably do),
Sure, they usually spend a lot of time with their wife and they do things together, but neither one stops doing everything they enjoyed before they married, and neither should they. Marriage should be a union of soul mates, not a punishment!
This post paints a totally diferent picture of you and your partner than the first posting does.
I agree with what you have said in the second post. With the exception of the opening line.
End!
Sharry
16th November 2008, 20:45
Don't mind a relationship... but I do know she (when she comes) wouldn't like the answer to the good old "Its me or the bike"
If she is the right woman she will never say "it is me or the bike" She will never say it is me or anything......unless of course you are being a norty boi.
Beemer
17th November 2008, 09:19
When he heard about this post, the other half said "don't these guys discuss this stuff BEFORE they get married?"
The post brings to mind women who want kids who marry a guy who swears he never wants a child - then a year or so down the track when they realise he REALLY doesn't want kids, they pack a sad and tell him he's not being fair.
And I get really annoyed with some people's reaction to parents owning bikes - "but they're so dangerous! If you were killed on your bike, how do you think your kids would feel? etc" - I've even heard guys say now they have kids they no longer want to ride because they feel they shouldn't.
Look at what happened to Austin Hemmings. He was just going about his business when someone else's life intruded on his and he lost his life. There was a Sunday show last night with three young people from the one family dying suddenly from heart problems. The fact is you never know when your time is up and most people don't die riding motorcycles. Sure, it's a terrible tragedy when one does, but the majority of people probably die from natural causes or health-related problems. To be honest I'd worry more about my husband if he worked in a liquor store or bank than if he rode bikes.
Morepower
17th November 2008, 09:45
Just look at Valentine's Day - guys think they have to spend a fortune to keep the other half happy. We got fish and chips last year and went down to the beach. Cost us less than $10 and it was the best Valentine's Day we'd ever had!
Guys . there is much wisdom in those words .
madbikeboy
17th November 2008, 10:26
I've got a warm feeling in my tummy after reading the last few posts. Maybe it's acid reflux?
:)
Beemer
17th November 2008, 12:30
I've got a warm feeling in my tummy after reading the last few posts. Maybe it's acid reflux?
:)
Yes, eating fish and chips too fast does that to you! ;)
Charlie41
17th November 2008, 21:16
You are not alone in this. I dated a guy just after I got my L licence and a snazzy wee Honda 250RR. We didn't talk about the bike, although I sensed his resistance over a period of time.
I would say that I was going for a ride and he would ignore me so I would don my gear and be off and catch up with him later.
The day came when we were due to go to a function together, and I said that I would meet him and his friends there on my bike (trying to save money and didn't want to take the car).
His response was a request (politely worded - he was a very polite man), for me not to ride my bike around his friends as it just wasn't done and besides, he added ever so quietly, it was really about time I stopped with the childish notion that women could do anything. He didn't want his friends thinking I was a lesbian.
I believe that he survived and is now living happily in denial somewhere in Eastbourne.
Why are there still me out there that can't deal with this?!?
I'm with ya on this chic...single is better...and riding your bike when/where you want is EVEN BETTER :beer:
When I started dating again earlier this year i made it very clear that i was after a man who loved bikes as much as me or was willing to learn to ride. Ended up with a wonderful man (who had a similar criteria) who while he owned a harley was happy to buy a sports bike so he could keep up with me.
I have got him into track days, and he got me into poker rides. The only thing we dont do together are rallys - i say they are boy bonding and he should keep going with his brother (read too wimpy to camp on any rallys that start with "cold" - which is pretty much all of them)
I think it is a package deal - people come with hobbies and lifestyles and if you don't like them up front then you shouldn't be with them. If you look at the arguement that it is dangerous - well then would you not marry someone who was in the army? You can get shot!
You're a lucky girl sweetp;) Hang onto him!!
Maybe there's more understanding bikers out there
ynot slow
18th November 2008, 06:46
True!
If she said she didn't have a problem with you carrying on riding after you were married and then changed her mind, how about a gentle reminder of her agreement?
!
Sounds a true compromise,I played soccer from 6yr-42yr old,my first wife new this and second did too.Played to local top level.First wife decided to play,so for a while our weekend was sport,mine Sat,hers Sun,then kids,I still kept playing when kids came,but still helped with them when young,they even came out on fine winter days to watch,enjoy the crowd at home games.
Had a bike since pretty much 16 till late 20s,can remember the lady minister asking befor we married what do you do if you have an argument,said if I was really pissed off and banging head against the(proverbial) wall,jump on the bike(xr200)and hit the beach till she calms down.
my_r32
18th November 2008, 10:26
If I got told to stop riding or whatever, I cant say I would be with that said person much longer.
My situation is one of the boyfriend I am with, who before he met me, HATED motorcycles and didnt see the point of them. Thought they were 'boring'. When we were getting to know each other, he got used to me turning up on the bike. We've now been together for 9 months, he now has his L bike license and has been pillion on my old bike a few times and wants one of his own. Funny how people can change their stance on things one they at least give something a try. He wont however go pillion on the new bike as its a sportsbike and doesnt like the fact that he sits up higher than me....and I am quite little, so yeah:mellow:
Anywho, he dont like the fact that the new bike is so powerful, but hey, life is for living is it not? -Did make a compromise for him though, that I wont do anything stupid on it. I dont mind saying that, as I dont feel like killing myself, I'd rather enjoy my riding for a long while yet:niceone:
I also play sports.....and they can be dangerous (I like extreme sports as well you see) - also doesnt like seeing me get hurt when I play etc. or even seeing my nice bruises and scrapes and old scars that I get from them. (I like bruises, especially when they make rainbow colours.......hehe:p)
He said to me: I'm never going to stop you from doing things you want to do (eg sports/motorcycles/cars/etc)because I want you to be happy:love::hug:
Why cant more partners be like this? Do you want your other half happy......or moping around doing nothing and wrapped in cotton wool?:blink:
-A good relationship has compromise. I let him do what he wants and vice versa, as long as you communicate and be sensible about things. And for gods sake discuss stuff like this BEFORE you sign your life away.......saves alot of paperwork;)
T bone
18th November 2008, 11:47
I had a girlfriend that gave me "the ultimatum", she was shown the door quickly after that. Now I have a great gf that rides horses & is happy to see me disappear riding for a few days. Great to have a partner that understands where you come from
Actually got in trouble the other day for telling her to piss off riding ;)
Slyer
18th November 2008, 12:04
I'm surprised at all these females riders with partners that don't like it!
Drogen Omen
18th November 2008, 12:07
hahahaha... thats whay i convinced the wife that riding was fun and now she has her own bike... hehehehe now we go for the wednesday rides in welly and she actualy enjoys them...
my mate has a bike that he uses for comuting but his miss's wont let him go for fun rides...
wish there were more biker chicks out there... i would have alot more friends...
my_r32
18th November 2008, 15:50
I'm surprised at all these females riders with partners that don't like it!
Yeah, you'd think that most guys would be into it aye......apparently that not the case
Gremlin
18th November 2008, 17:10
Yeah, you'd think that most guys would be into it aye......apparently that not the case
even if they didn't like bikes... come on!! Chicks in leather suits (armoured ones you perverts).
Yum! :laugh:
Blackshear
18th November 2008, 18:41
Yeah, you'd think that most guys would be into it aye......apparently that not the case
Some weird weird guys out there aye.
The old fashioned, wtf why aren't you in the kitchen crap.
I would be totally stoked if my missus, or any lady for that matter, wanted to come for a pootle where ever with me.
icekiwi
18th November 2008, 18:48
Hmmm mine was never real keen on the idea,
In fact she said when I bought the last bike home our marriage ended...
Thought she was being a little hard on the bike...
So if ya looking,I can do some cookin,
Drogen Omen
18th November 2008, 19:01
hmmm... there must be a percentage of guys that were born in the last 20 years that are all pussies...
unfortunatley you lovely ladies ended up meeting some of the guys in that percentage.
or must be some thing... not sure...
when i was 3yrs old i had an orange trike
when i was 10yrs old i had a bmx
when i turned 15 i got a mountain bike
when i turned 18 i got a downhill bike...
natural progression from there was something with 2 wheels and an engine...
got my first bike when i was 22...
to all you pussy ass guys out there that dont like your miss's riding a bike... you should grow a fuckin pair... life is too short to not have more fun on 2 wheels... heheheh
Blackshear
18th November 2008, 19:04
hmmm... there must be a percentage of guys that were born in the last 20 years that are all pussies...
unfortunatley you lovely ladies ended up meeting some of the guys in that percentage.
or must be some thing... not sure...
when i was 3yrs old i had an orange trike
when i was 10yrs old i had a bmx
when i turned 15 i got a mountain bike
when i turned 18 i got a downhill bike...
natural progression from there was something with 2 wheels and an engine...
got my first bike when i was 22...
to all you pussy ass guys out there that dont like your miss's riding a bike... you should grow a fuckin pair... life is too short to not have more fun on 2 wheels... heheheh
Turn the bmx to 12, and the motorbike to 18, and that's meeeeee!!!
I also agree. Grow some balls. If YOU think she's the one, bikes may have to hold of. But if SHE thinks she's the one, hightail it the motherfuck outta there.
my_r32
18th November 2008, 21:25
when i was 3yrs old i had an orange trike
when i was 10yrs old i had a bmx
when i turned 15 i got a mountain bike
when i turned 18 i got a downhill bike...
natural progression from there was something with 2 wheels and an engine...
got my first bike when i was 22...
Thats me to a t. - except the trike was blue and white, got the first bmx at 5 I think, then got the first racing bmx at 7 (I'm not kidding....and I do still race bmx at the tender age of 21...going on 22), got the mountain bike at 10 or 11, got the non-girly version at 14 (so could go on trails), got the first motosickle at 19:2thumbsup
Daffyd
18th November 2008, 21:27
I trust he helped her pack her bag.....
I did. :bye:
MarkH
19th November 2008, 15:08
It is not just women who get all weird on this subject. I dated a guy a while ago that had a problem with me spending so much time on my bike!?!?! It was him or the bike - well, I dumped his ass ;) That is why I am a single girl. I now have a lovely relationship with my Honda LOL:whistle::devil2:
*looks at profile*
Nice looking bike - and being a Honda it will be more reliable than the guy you ditched! :clap:
The Stranger
19th November 2008, 15:14
Just reading the off road threads, guy there has lost his off road riding mates due to nagging girlfriends that have convinced their partners(his Mates) to sell their bikes. HOW SAD is that.
Just wondering how many other good kiwi blokes have given up road riding because of pressure from the missus.
THIS IS A TRADGEDY KBR's.
There should be a union for bike riders, to uphold the cause of the BIKER ie "Great Snow Man' ...
The young ones won't know, but The Great Snow Man was a great ballad made about 45 years ago about this dude who, was young had youth, mates, good looks, and a big fine car (not bike) and his missus slowly dragged him down to being just another "Fall into line pleb" as the song says " the great snow man started melting away"... all a bit sad really, but I can sympathize with what this lad is going through.
I know of one colleague who's wife said, the bikes goes or I do..
Haha.... hes still got his bike...such are joys of a biker.
Perhaps it's for the best, if they're that bloody pussy whipped they shouldn't be riding anyway.
MarkH
19th November 2008, 15:15
His response was a request (politely worded - he was a very polite man), for me not to ride my bike around his friends as it just wasn't done and besides, he added ever so quietly, it was really about time I stopped with the childish notion that women could do anything. He didn't want his friends thinking I was a lesbian.
I believe that he survived and is now living happily in denial somewhere in Eastbourne.
Survived? But will he ever be the same?
Clearly you did the right thing - there is some shit that you should never put up with!
Subike
19th November 2008, 16:02
hmmm... there must be a percentage of guys that were born in the last 20 years that are all pussies...
unfortunatley you lovely ladies ended up meeting some of the guys in that percentage.
or must be some thing... not sure...
when i was 3yrs old i had an orange trike
when i was 10yrs old i had a bmx
when i turned 15 i got a mountain bike
when i turned 18 i got a downhill bike...
natural progression from there was something with 2 wheels and an engine...
got my first bike when i was 22...
to all you pussy ass guys out there that dont like your miss's riding a bike... you should grow a fuckin pair... life is too short to not have more fun on 2 wheels... heheheh
When I was three years old I rode in Grandads side car
When I wsas 10 years old I rode my uncles AJS500
When I was 15 years old I rode and owned 125 Suzuki
When I was 18 years old I lost my licence for the first time on a truimph Bonnie.
When I was 19 I got married
At 27 we bought our first New Harley, she rode it as often as I
What took you guys so long to get started????
At 32 She found another gear lever to play with!!!!!!!!!
Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)
26th November 2008, 01:45
My first husband and I only had a motorbike for transport - I had only ever ridden dirt bikes - he had a Yamaha 550 twin special - he had no qualms about me riding it - in fact if I had not kept up the maintenance on the bike - he would have blown the motor. He used to work night shift and would finish early at times and go for a blat at 3 or 4 am in the morning and come back and tell me about it. I envied him being able to do that. We eventually got a car and I had to teach him how to drive - now that was scary - he tried to drive a car like he rode a motorbike - the near misses - in the end I suggested we borrow his mother's old dunger of a car to learn in not the near new Mitsubishi Cordia. Now I have my own bike - and he wishes he could have one - he remarried and is now living in the States - just moved there so hopefully he will have a bike soon.
Reckless
26th November 2008, 02:24
Perhaps it's for the best, if they're that bloody pussy whipped they shouldn't be riding anyway.
You got that right!!
Fatt Max
26th November 2008, 06:11
I was knocking about with a bird back in London about 20 years ago. I was a season ticket holder for a football club and spent most of my Saturdays (well, all of them in fact) at the footie like you do.
Anyway, we had an away game in Newcastle one Saturday (equivalent of Kaitaia to Wellington by road) so we all got on a bus Friday arvo, went to the game on the Saturday (which we won) then on the piss Staurday night finally arriving home about 9pm on the Sunday night.
Of course, when I got home she was sitting there with a face like a slapped arse so I said to her:
"Cant see why you have the hump with me, I hav'nt been here all weekend so it must be with something else. Is your hair drier broken?"
Next morning she was gone forever, I still had my season ticket and we won the cup that year.
So moral of the story....if they dont like it, tough.....
SARGE
26th November 2008, 06:50
So moral of the story....if they dont like it, tough.....
<img src="http://pro.corbis.com/images/42-17743107.jpg?size=572&uid={2D65BC3D-2855-43F8-9CDC-AE084F4D859B}">
raftn
26th November 2008, 11:03
Comprises are important to the success of any relationship, but but when it entails giving up some thing you are passionate about, i think you will run into trouble.
Dodgyiti
26th November 2008, 11:37
What an interesting read this has been, so much to relate to as well.
Been through the wringer like a few here by the sounds of it.
Just got shot of the wife a few years back, she let me keep a bike or 2 over those 17yrs but getting spare funds to spend on upkeep was difficult at times. Had to lead a 'second life' and pretend to be out drinking with the workmates while I was actually working overtime for bike bits- what a nerd eh?
You get what you want by doing what you have to.
My new squeeze has liked bikes all along and now she sometimes sends me links to bikes for sale 'that I might like' and I already have 4!!
Talk about peer pressure.:whistle::whistle:
And if she wins Lotto she promised to buy me one of those---> (pointing to the picture of an MV F1000 on the wall):hug:
Nice to hear others have had happy endings as well, really nice to hear. And hopefully that inspires the folk who are trapped in a relationship of little give&take to stand up for what they want out of life - not what others want from their life (all the time)
The pressure to give the bikes away often comes from extended family as well (the Outlaws!!) around breeding time...
klingon
26th November 2008, 12:52
Obviously I have a bike (that's why I'm here on this forum) and I love riding it - so I can only speculate on the reasons for other women not wanting their man to ride.
I wonder if...
a) Her hobbies/indulgences really are as expensive as yours? Don't include stuff for the kids on her side of the ledger - just stuff she has for her very own self. Also, does she have the opportunity to get out of the house and get away from it all like you do when you're riding?
b) Maybe she was ok with the bike before the two of you had kids, but now is more easily scared? There have been plenty of discussions on here amongst women who have ridden for years then had kids and suddenly felt too vulnerable to ride. Maybe she feels vulnerable when you're off on your bike and she wonders if you're going to come home in one piece.
Just my thoughts. If you don't know the answers to these questions, I suggest you ask her.
klingon
26th November 2008, 12:57
Another thought: Often men use a nagging wife as an excuse to divert from their own fears. It's a nice little stereotype for them to be able to roll their eyes and say "I would do it, but my wife wouldn't let me." Then everyone else sympathises and slaps them on the back and joins in with their own story about a nagging wife.
In reality, the wife might be perfectly delighted for her husband to get a bike. Ask her at the office Christmas party. ;)
Slyer
26th November 2008, 13:11
Another thought: Often men use a nagging wife as an excuse to divert from their own fears. It's a nice little stereotype for them to be able to roll their eyes and say "I would do it, but my wife wouldn't let me." Then everyone else sympathises and slaps them on the back and joins in with their own story about a nagging wife.
In reality, the wife might be perfectly delighted for her husband to get a bike. Ask her at the office Christmas party. ;)
It's probably a bit of both most of the time. :bleh:
mstriumph
26th November 2008, 13:41
Just reading the off road threads, guy there has lost his off road riding mates due to nagging girlfriends that have convinced their partners(his Mates) to sell their bikes. HOW SAD is that.
Just wondering how many other good kiwi blokes have given up road riding because of pressure from the missus.
THIS IS A TRADGEDY KBR's. .................... i once had a husband who kept on at me to get rid of my bike ............ EX husband, i should say
it's AMAZING how constant nagging helps you get your priorities sorted :msn-wink:
Balding Eagle
2nd December 2008, 21:22
After 30+ years of marriage, I said to my wife "I want a motorbike". (I had a Suzuki 125 2smoke after we first got married but only used to to commute and take the dog for a run.) Needless to say there was a great silence and a bit of discussion but the bit that turned the argument my way was "I don't want to be lying on my deathbed saying I wish I had done that." She reluctantly relented. After I got my full licence (I didn't bother in the earlier days) we talked about her jumping on the back. For reasons I won't go into here, it didn't happen but she considered it. She has now got used to the idea and is quite happy to see me go out riding but is always glad to see me get home safe and sound.
A long time ago I read a book called "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". If you are struggling with your relationship and bikes are a problem, I suggest you read it or one of the similar books that are out there. It might help you keep your bike and your wife - if that is what you want. (It is cheaper than divorce.) What it explains is that men and women think quite differently (Yes I know that is obvious) and it helps the men understand what and how women think and vice versa. One of the important things that it describes is the need for men to have "cave" time. This is a time to themselves without the hassles of work or home where they can unwind. It is a natural need for men. Just the same as women need to unwind by telling their husbands/partners about their day and the problems they have had. When they do this, they don't want you to solve their problems, they just want you to listen. What each of you have to understand is the need for each to have this time.
So guys, let her say what she likes after work and reply "yes dear, no dear, I understand dear" but don't solve her bloody problems for her. Girls, let him have his "cave" time. Let him have his blat and be happy when he returns. I am reminded of a very good saying "If you love something, let it be free. If it returns, it is yours forever. If it doesn't, it never was."
And the final note to the guys who are not keen on their girls riding. Go ride as a pillion with her but make sure you hang on tight - if you know what I mean. Bloody hell, there is something wrong if you can't enjoy that.
MarkH
2nd December 2008, 22:47
I am reminded of a very good saying "If you love something, let it be free. If it returns, it is yours forever. If it doesn't, it never was."
I thought it was: "If you love something, let it be free. If it returns, it is yours forever. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it."
HEADACHE
3rd December 2008, 09:29
So moral of the story....if they dont like it, tough.....
very few of today's poor excuses of the male species would actually understand what this really means.
It is just easier to blame the "weaker sex" than stand on your own two feet and show your backbone.
It's the male's fault this country is so fucking P.C. We let them.
If you don't like it - You only have Yourself to blame.
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