Need some womenly advice

[outlawtorn]

Greetings ladies,

I ask you this now from your point of view. My wife is not really enjoying me riding on a bike and seems pretty anti the whole thing, of course with me having 2 minor wipeouts it hasn't helped my cause. What do you suggest I do to warm her up to the whole bike thing? I can't take her out on the bike yet as I am still on a learners.

Suggestions? Comments?

[Hitcher]

Well, if it doesn't involve/excludes her from time she thinks she's like to spend with you. Sounds like taking up golf or cricket as an alternative isn't a goer either.

Try synchronising your diaries so that you have time together and for yourself.

I hope that advice is sufficiently "womanly" for you...

[mikey]

take that skirt off an put some pants on! lay down the law

[vifferman]

Well, (hang on, while I adjust my undies to give a more womanly, squeaky voice...)

Well, I was in a similar position to you, so I spent as much of my time doing stuff that my wife wanted me to do, so she wouldn't resent my bike time.
Quite frankly, it didn't work that well. It took a major blow-up and some potentially life-threatening (non bike-related stuff) to force a re-evaluation of priorities, our relationship, etc., and then my wife decided to take an interest in my interests. Now she goes riding with me on occasion. In fact, generally, I don't do any recreational riding now, except when she wants to go too, and now the rides aren't just for the sake of going for a ride, but with some destination in mind, and something to do when we get there.

[White trash]

take that skirt off an put some pants on! lay down the law

Bwahahaha! :killingme

That's not fucken funny man, the guy has a serious query.

*snigger* *cough* *splutter*

[Riff Raff]

Is it the issue of "danger", or the time you spend on your bike? If it is the amount of time you spend apart then you may need to make some compromises. If she is against bikes in general then it gets a bit tricky. Do you know anyone who is a good rider who would be willing to take her as a pillion so that she can come on occassional rides with you. Being included in your motorbiking activities might be all it takes for her to get the bug!

[Mongoose]

take that skirt off an put some pants on! lay down the law

Is that so the wifey one shoots thru therefore cures the percieved problem?
me thinks perhaps learning to stay up right would be a good start, lessens the danger aspect a tad, huh?

[outlawtorn]

Is it the issue of "danger", or the time you spend on your bike? If it is the amount of time you spend apart then you may need to make some compromises. If she is against bikes in general then it gets a bit tricky. Do you know anyone who is a good rider who would be willing to take her as a pillion so that she can come on occassional rides with you. Being included in your motorbiking activities might be all it takes for her to get the bug!

It is the issue of danger and an issue of time in general, plus we've got two kids so I feel like a selfish bastard if I want to go out on a Sunday cruise.

BTW Mikey, it's called compromise....

Thanks Vifferman, you made a lot of sense.

[outlawtorn]

Is that so the wifey one shoots thru therefore cures the percieved problem?
me thinks perhaps learning to stay up right would be a good start, lessens the danger aspect a tad, huh?

well my first wipeout was on the day I got the bike, my fault for not taking a corner slow enough just after it had rained and my bike slid, and more recently (last week) some dippy fucker pulled out in front of me without looking. (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=8477)

[MSTRS]

well my first wipeout was on the day I got the bike, my fault for not taking a corner slow enough just after it had rained and my bike slid, and more recently (last week) some dippy fucker pulled out in front of me without looking. (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=8477)
Tricky situation. Mrs M wanted me to buy the Gixxer so that was cool. But for you, perhaps you need to introduce your dear one to some of us, thereby showing her the social side of our activities.

[toads]

Greetings ladies,

I ask you this now from your point of view. My wife is not really enjoying me riding on a bike and seems pretty anti the whole thing, of course with me having 2 minor wipeouts it hasn't helped my cause. What do you suggest I do to warm her up to the whole bike thing? I can't take her out on the bike yet as I am still on a learners.

Suggestions? Comments?
buy her a nice little bike of her own, a real pretty one. Then she can join kiwibikers and meet other biker ladies!!

[toads]

I have just read some of the other posts, the having kids is a major, you need to consider them and the impact both of you being on the same bike could have if things do go pear shaped, one of the main reason I have my own bike, and he has his. Like everything in life there is an element of risk but to minimise it, by being careful, having good riding gear and spreading the risks etc it's a chance we are happy to take.

[MadDuck]

When I first read the thread I thought - DUMP HER! Then I saw the kids part. :cool:

I agree with Toads. Maybe get her out on a bike of her own. This may be rather difficult seeing as you have just demonstrated to her what can happen when one falls off!

It will just take time to build up her trust in bikes again I guess - bring her along to the next Waikato rally to meet the crew (even if it means the cage). If she sees you riding with such a safe bunch of riders (yes no bins on last Waikato Ride IN THE RAIN) she may relax a bit. Dunno just a thought.

[Will]

Lotsa good advice there.
Show her the social side of riding. Come along in your cage to Friday night at the CAB.
From my experience, it is the Family that is taking up the time, especially if they are young. This is your highest priority (I hope). Patience and as the kids are flying from the nest, you can fly on your bike more.
This is what has happened with us. We have far more time for riding now and we don't regret the time that we have spent with our kids. :2thumbsup
And you are talking about it. :niceone: You'll get it resolved. :2thumbsup

[outlawtorn]

Thanks for all the advice guys and gals, much appreciated.

I reckon I'll just have to take it slowly, I rekcon once I've got my full license I'll take her on a morning run and see how she likes it. But I do also reckon we'll come along to the next group meetings/rally's if everything permits us to do so. She is the best wife in the world and I do understand her fear but she must also realise I'm not a freaking maniac nor do I like to socialise with maniacs either, I ride a bike because I love the feeling of being on a bike.

Thanks again guys, cheers

[White trash]

Give it up mate. No bike is worth a relationship.

Oh except a Gixxer 1K. No marrige is worth one of them puppies!

[Slipstream]

Give it up mate. No bike is worth a relationship.

Oh except a Gixxer 1K. No marrige is worth one of them puppies!


Personally...I think a matching Gixxer could improve a relationship :p

Or so I'm told...er....um...


Here's a banana :wari:

[muzz]

How about getting a sidecar.Being a family man you can put the kid's in the sidecar, wife on the back of bike and all enjoy a days outing. And you still get to ride you can always take the sidecar off for a solo trip.

[scroter]

If your wifes concerned about the danger side of bikes introducing them to her could be a good idea. sure there are risks in riding but like anything else most of the risks can be managed, agreed not all of them but there are a lot of things you can do to keep yourself relativly safe without compromising the enjoyment. only thing is if something does happen, by being on a bike the damage to vehicle and self is increased. anyway hope it all works out for you and your family and remember you have to have time for yourself too.

oh and if all else fails have a :apint:

[bondagebunny]

Thanks for all the advice guys and gals, much appreciated.

I reckon I'll just have to take it slowly, I rekcon once I've got my full license I'll take her on a morning run and see how she likes it. But I do also reckon we'll come along to the next group meetings/rally's if everything permits us to do so. She is the best wife in the world and I do understand her fear but she must also realise I'm not a freaking maniac nor do I like to socialise with maniacs either, I ride a bike because I love the feeling of being on a bike.

Thanks again guys, cheers

and you aint a maniac what are you doing here.

you got two choices - dump her, or learn to ride properly - get your self some lessons,
The excuse someone pulled out on me REALLY means I was not reading the road well enough and failled to allow for the dick head in the car - start putting the blames where it belongs. We all know there are wankers and dickheads out on the road, some on bikes some in cars, and even trucks, but YOU have to be the one who is responsible for your own wellbeing, if you reliy on others to avoid you your missus has reason to worry.

[MSTRS]

Thanks for all the advice guys and gals, much appreciated.

I reckon I'll just have to take it slowly, I rekcon once I've got my full license I'll take her on a morning run and see how she likes it. But I do also reckon we'll come along to the next group meetings/rally's if everything permits us to do so. She is the best wife in the world and I do understand her fear but she must also realise I'm not a freaking maniac nor do I like to socialise with maniacs either, I ride a bike because I love the feeling of being on a bike.

Thanks again guys, cheers
You're welcome. Sounds like you should be able to happily resolve your problem. Besides, you have an interest that you are entitled to & every relationship by it's very nature is a series of compromises. :spudwave:

[ManDownUnder]

Is there any chance of talking to your wife and finding out WHY she doesn't like the thing?

The danger side of it sounds like the most liekly, closely followed by (and likely compounded by) the time apart.

Until you know what's winding her up you can only guess, and likely get it wrong. Sit down, talk and see what you can do about it.

As has been mentioned, if it's a safety thing - learn to ride, get decent safety gear and just be careful. If it's a time thing - work that out too (I saw mention of sync'ing diaries - go do stuff together etc).

You're married - you're not dead, and you're entitled to do something you enjoy. Whether that's at the expense of your wife or not is over to you and her...

... and now I'll swap my skirt for my pants again (kindly look away)
MDU

[Draco]

I'm glad to hear your listening to your wife's concerns and not taking the 'my way or the highway' attitude. Most women worry about their husband being killed and having to raise the kids on their own. Do you have life insurance? Just to show your wife that you have the worst case scenario covered, it may give her some peice of mind. Then also show her your gear, armoured, leather whatever your choice is, let her see how good it is. I also find it helps to remind concerned relatives (politely) that bad shit happens to people doing all sorts of things, like Christopher Reeves paralysed riding a horse and Jonah Lomu needing a kidney transplant through illness not injury. You have to live life and have something to look back on later. The sidecar thing is not a silly idea either, a friend of mine is just completing his so he can take his 10yr son out with him. My last suggestion would be a riding course to reassure your wife you are being responsible and increasing your safety by increasing your skill. Hope you guys find a happy ground on this one good luck!

[FROSTY]

mate its a constant juggling act. I'd suggest the following.
1) GET SOME RIDER TRAINING--AND PRONTO.
No compromise from this bloke here Im sorry matey. cos I hate to say it but ya wife is right -inexperienced rider/busy wet roads -not a good mix.
2) Family trips to the park or the beach don't have to mean taking one vehicle -If ya get my drift.-combine the two and your kids will love it --theres daddy --weeeee
3) trade the road bike in on a traillie -then get a quad for the kids -You'll be seen to be safer and youll be doing the family thing. You wont believe how much your riding will improve.

[Krusti]

I would say number one get some good training or enrol in an advanced course etc. It is a tricky one because who wants to have to look after the kids when Dads injured, killed etc. Not to mention the extra costs involved if something serious happened to you. Could be that she really loves you and is very worried. Try to lessen the risks, get trained properly.

Then get a baby sitter one day and take her for a SLOW ride. Dont be like some Husbands about and treat her like a dumb bitch, offer to let her ride etc. She has got a financial interest in the bike I suspect and this is money that could be used for something else, always a woory with a young family.

If you can get her to feel that the bike is a joint source of pleasure etc then you are most of the way there.

Cousin of mine wont even let his wife wash his bike, arrogent dork. He nearly died one day when I told my wife to ride the bike home and me take the car after a bike rally. She was hooked after that.

[El Dopa]

I'm glad to hear your listening to your wife's concerns and not taking the 'my way or the highway' attitude. Most women worry about their husband being killed and having to raise the kids on their own. Do you have life insurance? Just to show your wife that you have the worst case scenario covered, it may give her some peice of mind. Then also show her your gear, armoured, leather whatever your choice is, let her see how good it is. I also find it helps to remind concerned relatives (politely) that bad shit happens to people doing all sorts of things, like Christopher Reeves paralysed riding a horse and Jonah Lomu needing a kidney transplant through illness not injury. You have to live life and have something to look back on later. The sidecar thing is not a silly idea either, a friend of mine is just completing his so he can take his 10yr son out with him. My last suggestion would be a riding course to reassure your wife you are being responsible and increasing your safety by increasing your skill. Hope you guys find a happy ground on this one good luck!

Outlawtorn,

I was in pretty much the same position as you have described about a year ago. Myself and the missus reached a fairly amicable mutually satisfactory arrangement after a big bust-up by me doing pretty much all the things Draco has outlined above: Pointing out that bad shit happens all the time in every situation, by getting life insurance and by being obsessive about my safety gear.

She's still not 100% happy, but she accepts that it's something I want and need to do, and that I've taken all the necessary steps to minimise the risk.

[Ms Piggy]

Greetings ladies,

I ask you this now from your point of view. My wife is not really enjoying me riding on a bike and seems pretty anti the whole thing, of course with me having 2 minor wipeouts it hasn't helped my cause. What do you suggest I do to warm her up to the whole bike thing? I can't take her out on the bike yet as I am still on a learners.

Suggestions? Comments?
"It's all about balance outlawtorn san." (please say this in a Mr Miyagi voice)

[ManDownUnder]

"It's all about balance outlawtorn san." (please say this in a Mr Miyagi voice)

Touche (<== use your own voice, although a slight french accent may help)

[spookey]

we like the being on the bike and the social aspect of it all...
Mind you you say you are only on your learners...now I recall that it's a non pillion situation for you anyways..
There are times in your life where the wife and kids need to come first...that's just why you have them..
Be patient if you can stay up right your time will come :yeah:

[Teflon]

Greetings ladies,

I ask you this now from your point of view. My wife is not really enjoying me riding on a bike and seems pretty anti the whole thing, of course with me having 2 minor wipeouts it hasn't helped my cause. What do you suggest I do to warm her up to the whole bike thing? I can't take her out on the bike yet as I am still on a learners.

Suggestions? Comments?

Just go buy her some jewelry, should buy you a good couple of weeks of riding without the nagging.

[saiko]

I'm glad to hear your listening to your wife's concerns and not taking the 'my way or the highway' attitude. Most women worry about their husband being killed and having to raise the kids on their own. Do you have life insurance? Just to show your wife that you have the worst case scenario covered, it may give her some peice of mind. Then also show her your gear, armoured, leather whatever your choice is, let her see how good it is. I also find it helps to remind concerned relatives (politely) that bad shit happens to people doing all sorts of things, like Christopher Reeves paralysed riding a horse and Jonah Lomu needing a kidney transplant through illness not injury. You have to live life and have something to look back on later. The sidecar thing is not a silly idea either, a friend of mine is just completing his so he can take his 10yr son out with him. My last suggestion would be a riding course to reassure your wife you are being responsible and increasing your safety by increasing your skill. Hope you guys find a happy ground on this one good luck!

Yeah, your thoughts are perceptive & intelligent. My partner has no interest in bikes, but she knows I love them. If I pushed her to ride with me, it would push her away. I just hope she will take an interest eventually, as she sees me enjoying riding. Vifferman has it sussed - plan a neat weekend away, with travel by bike. I've just invested a few grand in new riding gear, all kevlar & carbon fibre, with a one-piece on order from Italy. The message is loud & clear - "yeah I like to ride fast - but responsibly; and I have to good gear so if I do take a fall, chances are I'll be coming home, not to hospital". It does give some peace of mind. My partner's main concern is if we ride together, have an accident & both die, we have no close relatives who would look after our kids. And it does prey on my mind too, that who would look after them? Two-up I would be really careful, but you never know when a pissed tosser is going to cut the next corner...

[Daisy Duke]

Take it as a compliment. She cares for you and it thinking about your well being.

[strayjuliet]

Greetings ladies,

I ask you this now from your point of view. My wife is not really enjoying me riding on a bike and seems pretty anti the whole thing, of course with me having 2 minor wipeouts it hasn't helped my cause. What do you suggest I do to warm her up to the whole bike thing? I can't take her out on the bike yet as I am still on a learners.

Suggestions? Comments?

when i first met wolf i hated bikes well not hated as such was more kinda scared of em and the danger that could come from sliding down the road after the bike but to over come my fear meant to get on a bike adn i did and hey i now love em hence my being on this site lol wouldnt b here if i still hated bikes now would i? anyway my suggestion is have u got a close friend who rides a bike and has a full licence maybe you could talk to them about maybe putting mrs outlawtorn on that and explain to her that with everything (ie push bike horse riding etc) theres the falling off get back on thing u cant ecxpect to b a great rider without taking the spills first i dunno hope it helps good luck :niceone:

[surfchick]

be safe and don't come home in pieces- may-be eventually she'll warm to it.

[Aitch]

then we had kids and she got even more opposed to the idea. Then she kicked me out and guess what??? I'm getting a brand spanking new GSX750F!!! Yeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

[Dodgyiti]

How about getting a sidecar.Being a family man you can put the kid's in the sidecar, wife on the back of bike and all enjoy a days outing. And you still get to ride you can always take the sidecar off for a solo trip.
Ermm
Sounds good, but a decent outfit has leading link suspension and a flat bottomed front tyre. Not the best for going around corners solo

[Goddess of Goof]

My 5 cents worth (while we still have 5 cent pieces....)

is to check out "Power Adventures" - an off-road motorcycle park in the Woodhill Forest. They have awesome Family Days, and you can take your wife and children (unless they are under 3) and enjoy small, safe, fun motorcycles. Of course, beginning on an Off-road bike is an excellent start for anyone.

They have Women Only events, so women beginners can try it out - and of course, bikes of all sizes for kids, and Dads.

If your wife sees the less threatening side of motorcycles, and has a go on one, she may understand what you enjoy so much.

Go Well, and Good Luck. Keep us Posted ! :cool:

[czarnian]

my advice when u finaly get your bigger bike get her onto the 250 and get her :killingme

[Eurodave]

Dont write off adding a sidecar, I did that for about 15 years while my family was growing up.I had 2 different chairs on my Z1-R over the years & now have some fond memories of good times.Plus outfit riding is a hell of a lot of fun once you get used to it & you get to meet some really interesting folk. I still have an outfit- a CX500 with leading link forks & a Sabiston chair
.