Latte-sipping homos on scooters...

[madbikeboy]

I'd like to know how scooters work, does carefully stepping onto one (to avoid creases in your Ralph Loren Slacks) protect you; an invisible shield of armour? One that removes the need for common sense, wrists that don't flap when you're talking, or the need to look in mirrors?


So, picture this - filtering between a lane of cars on Fanshaw Street, and at the last possible second, danger appears - not from a crazed pedestrian, not from a cager one loaf short of a picnic.

No, the danger comes from vest wearing scooter boy (known as latte sipping homo henceforth).

Latte sipping homo waits until all 150 decibles of GSXR are almost on him, and then he casually accelerates from his space in the line of cars into the filtering lane (now an official sort of thing).

Lucky for him, I practice braking - so I'm just able to stop him getting a GSXR up his ass, from whence his boyfriend left a load this morning.


So, and it gets worse.

Latte Sipping Homo pulls to the end of the queue, and then sits between the two lead cars, trapping me in no-mans land.

I ask him, politely, to pull forward. He turns and gives me a scathing look.

He's got 8 feet of safety, mine and his; I don't want to be trapped between four SUV's and a WRX when the flag drops.

I ask again, this time less politely.

He turns around and starts bitching at me.

So, being as I'm a civilised guy, I lose it, telling him to more his fucking homo scooter forward before I move it for him. Then I have a momentary lose of traction to make the point. Still no fucking movement. The SUV's are now towering several feet above me, and I'm rapidly shrinking as the danger increases.

So, one last time - "move your F U C K I N G scooter!"

So, he rolls forward about 6 inches, probably the length of man meat he had in his mouth this morning, and I push through just in time for the flag dropping, watching the cagers close the gap like the shutting of mechanical jaws behind my tail.

So, I'm hoping Latte Sipping Homo is on KB, next time:
1. Check your fucking mirrors before you leap into the abyss.
2. Buy some fucking bike pants instead of business pants. Actually, belay that, losing some skin will teach you a fucking lesson.
3. Next time someone asks you to do something, don't sneer, it's unbecoming.
4. Sitting between cars where the traffic has to close ahead because of road conditions is dumb, Darwin dumb.
5. You should have spent the dosh on gas for your SUV instead of a scooter.

Peace to you all.

PS. I don't have any issues with gay people, I used the word Homo today with care and respect.

MBB.

[Hitcher]

Somebody appears to be struggling with their sexuality this morning.

[slimjim]

O shit..he just needed a "Fu_king" Hug... with a nice size 10 steelcap boot..

[racefactory]

honestly you should have rammed that fucker forward with your 120/70/17 and 160hp. he would have bloody well got the message quickly that's for sure!

[vifferman]

I'd like to know how scooters work, does carefully stepping onto one protect you; an invisible shield of armour?
Ooh! I know this one!
No.
Although many "latte sipping homos" seem to treat a scooter as a much more fashionable type of bicycle, they are (strangely enough) not immune to the laws of the world around them.
I know this, because a few years ago when I worked in Ponsonby, I chanced to observe what happens when latte sipping homo meets Braindead "Goddam I need a coffee urgently" Car-driving Moron at an intersection. Despite it not being his fault, said homo still suffered the results. (He looked really good as a momentary bonnet ornament, before crashing down onto Mr Asphalt).
He was riding a very trendy-looking and shiny new black scooter of some Italian sort, and was colour-coordinated in black jeans, t-shirt, black denim jacket (undone to show off shirt), black shorty helmet, designer sunnies, and leather jandals (at least, before his scooter's altercation with Braindead "Goddam I need a coffee urgently" Car-driving Moron).
He ended up with sore knees and hands, and a dinnerplate-sized abrasion/contusion (dunno what exactly, but it was very red/purple and sore-looking) on his back. He was VERY lucky not to have any broken bits (apart from on his black fashion accessory).
[Meanwhile, I was a wee bit warm in my head-to-toe bike gear, feeling a little smug as well as snug]

Surprisingly (no, in hindsight, probably not), I saw latte sipping homo a few months later on his (refurbished) shiny black fashion accessory, and he was dressed in a very similar fashion to before: no boots, no gloves, loose-fitting clothes, etc etc.

[vifferman]

honestly you should have rammed that fucker forward with your 120/70/17 and 160hp. he would have bloody well got the message quickly that's for sure!
You too? I was expecting that outcome as well!

[Swoop]

Interesting.

I have noticed a marked increase of scroters on the motorway recently. Not a chance of maintaining a speed remotely close to the 100kmh limit, so they sit in the far left of the left lane with the engine screaming out it's one-note-song...

[The Stranger]

So, picture this - filtering between a lane of cars on Fanshaw Street, and at the last possible second, danger appears - not from a crazed pedestrian, not from a cager one loaf short of a picnic.

No, the danger comes from vest wearing scooter boy (known as latte sipping homo henceforth).

Latte sipping homo waits until all 150 decibles of GSXR are almost on him, and then he casually accelerates from his space in the line of cars into the filtering lane (now an official sort of thing).

I love posts from indignant law breakers complaining about outher law breakers not obeying their laws.

[madbikeboy]

I had steam coming from my ears when I wrote that.

I am sure of my sexuality, and comfortable with man hugs and blokes who cry. I even have a friend (JP) who rides scooters... ...

[alanzs]

I passed some little lady on a scooter as she was ripping along at 50k's on the motorway the other day. Had a bout 50 cars slowed down behind her. If it wasn't for her cute pink helmet and matching coat, I would have honked. I just laughed at the stupidity of it all...

[madbikeboy]

I love posts from indignant law breakers complaining about outher law breakers not obeying their laws.

Hi Stranger.

Umm, the traffic was stationary... I was thinking rude thoughts, and swearing (Summary Offences Act). Is that what you meant?

[hang0ver]

Its unfashionable to have an engine capacity over 100cc's these days don't you know? That said, its very fashionable to wear no safety and undertake on the left within the scooter fraternity.

He's just trying to prove his point... :scooter:

[3L4NS1R]

I've never understood whats to like about scooters (pardon my arrogance to scooter riders reading). But even so, it just makes sense that they wear decent riding gear like most bikers... and install mug holders (helps them talk on thier mobiles as well).

[imdying]

Punch him in the head, your brain fair rattles around when you get a smack in the head whilst wearing a helmet.

[ManDownUnder]

There's always the view that you put yourself into a situation, your assumptions were wrong the problems were a result of that.

Yeah I know - sorry - personal responsibility... silly me. Flame away!

[DarkLord]

I remember commuting home and some stupid f%&*wit on a scooter pulls up behind me bouncing on this farking thing, sitting right up my arse at the intersection and passing me on the left to cut me off for the right hand turn, not wearing any gear besides a helmet....

I just took off with all of my mighty 250cc's of Hyosung power but in hindsight I probably should have said or done something...mind you from my experience on those things they are not that safe to begin with and if you ride it like this guy was you are asking for a crash, especially when not wearing any gear at all besides a helmet!!!!

[ManDownUnder]

For what it's worth I've been in this situation a number of times... it's annoying as hell but the simplest and safest way out that I have found is to simply look at the rdiver tyo your right and signal that you'd like to go first.

If they say yes - they wait for you, you ease forward into that gap and carry on... safely!

If they say no, you let them go first, ease into the gap behind them and carry on... safely.

The big thing for me is trucks. If there is ANY chance you could be stopped next to a truck in the que - don't do it. Those things won't see you, hear you or feel you as they grind you into the tarmac. You might be in the right but you won't get the chance to argue it.

[Badjelly]

I usually don't filter. This is partly because I have the luxury of travelling on a route where it wouldn't gain me that much and partly because from time to time while filtering in the past I have run into problems with other road users not behaving as I expected.

The other day I decided to avoid a long traffic queue by travelling up the empty left-turn-only lane and then going straight through the intersection. All went fine until the moment when the lights turned green, at which time a cyclist passed me on the right and leisurely drifted across my line. I had to check myself, pass round the back of the bicycle, then accelerate, all the while wondering exactly where the white van that had been next to me had got to. Wherever the white van was, it wasn't driving over the top of me, so no harm resulted.

I'm not sure what lesson to draw from this, other than the obvious fact that all cyclists are latte-sipping homos and it was all his fault. ... Yeah, that's it, it was all his fault. Whew, tor a moment there I thought I might have to re-examine my own riding.

[gijoe1313]

The irony of this situation is MBB rides scoot himself! :msn-wink: I've never yet encountered such a precocious wunderkind myself and hope I never will!

See? You should have had a stebel installed, after your polite entreaties, you just let rip full bore and watch the toe-rag leap into the air ... thus enabling you to proceed on your way tootling the horn melodiously in gratitude! :innocent:

Seriously, those stebels sort those issues out mos ricky tick! :msn-wink: And its a laff to see all the cagers jump out of their seats in fright also! :eek:

[madbikeboy]

For what it's worth I've been in this situation a number of times... it's annoying as hell but the simplest and safest way out that I have found is to simply look at the rdiver tyo your right and signal that you'd like to go first.

If they say yes - they wait for you, you ease forward into that gap and carry on... safely!

If they say no, you let them go first, ease into the gap behind them and carry on... safely.

The big thing for me is trucks. If there is ANY chance you could be stopped next to a truck in the que - don't do it. Those things won't see you, hear you or feel you as they grind you into the tarmac. You might be in the right but you won't get the chance to argue it.

Umm, err, Hmm.

"Why don't you go". "No, you go". "No, you go, I insist". It was about then the truck hit them.

It was my fault completely. I should have been filtering much faster.

[Mikkel]

Maybe this (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=66973&highlight=scooter+truck) old, very graphic and gory (consider yourself warned), thread will help to lift your spirits.

[buellbabe]

I love posts from indignant law breakers complaining about outher law breakers not obeying their laws.

hahahaha but seriously? Come on...how about showing some courtesy? Would it have been so hard for the latte-sippin-homo to have moved to one side so as to allow another rider some space?

Bloody rude and if it had been me I would have been sorely tempted to shunt him forward...I know! bad attitude!

A while back I was waiting to turn onto the main highway at Taupiri and saw this scooter fly past. The rider was in an open-faced helmet, lightweight jacket and a SKIRT... she was moving...I followed her for a while and she was doing 140kph...holy crap!

[slofox]

Well, on Sunday, whilst pootling along in the line of bikes heading for Kawhia, I saw a dude on a scoot with his son (aged about 7 or 8) on the back. Both barefooted. Both in shorts. Both in short sleeves. Both without gloves.....I could only shake my head in disbelief. By all means risk your own well being but your kid as well???? Bugger ought've been shot........

[MisterD]

I've never understood whats to like about scooters (pardon my arrogance to scooter riders reading). But even so, it just makes sense that they wear decent riding gear like most bikers... and install mug holders (helps them talk on thier mobiles as well).

They look good, and I enjoy the "WTF!?" factor of 250cc motorbikes that can't keep up. :bleh:

[madbikeboy]

hahahaha but seriously? Come on...how about showing some courtesy? Would it have been so hard for the latte-sippin-homo to have moved to one side so as to allow another rider some space?

Bloody rude and if it had been me I would have been sorely tempted to shunt him forward...I know! bad attitude!

A while back I was waiting to turn onto the main highway at Taupiri and saw this scooter fly past. The rider was in an open-faced helmet, lightweight jacket and a SKIRT... she was moving...I followed her for a while and she was doing 140kph...holy crap!

Exactly! Courtesy in this case would have meant 6 inches further forward to provide me an oasis of safety and calm.

As for 140kph chick, was she hot, and did you get her number for me?

[madbikeboy]

The irony of this situation is MBB rides scoot himself! :msn-wink: I've never yet encountered such a precocious wunderkind myself and hope I never will!

See? You should have had a stebel installed, after your polite entreaties, you just let rip full bore and watch the toe-rag leap into the air ... thus enabling you to proceed on your way tootling the horn melodiously in gratitude! :innocent:

Seriously, those stebels sort those issues out mos ricky tick! :msn-wink: And its a laff to see all the cagers jump out of their seats in fright also! :eek:

You've met Scoot in person, she's lovverly in much the same way as one of those cute lionesses at the zoo, gently licking her cubs... And just as scary for similar reasons as when the lionness gets hungry...

I need some LED's for my motah -just like my hero of adventures far and wide (GIJOE1313).

[wbks]

Maybe this (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=66973&highlight=scooter+truck) old, very graphic and gory (consider yourself warned), thread will help to lift your spirits.WHOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!
I REALLY hope that guy was knocked out before the truck split him in half and grinded his lower half into the ground. I would have thought that was a special effects deal if it wasn't for the warnings. How many people do you think die in such gruesome ways on bikes? Damn, I've seen the ones with guys through car windshields but that thing is almost bad enough to keep me from ever venturing into the city

[madbikeboy]

They look good, and I enjoy the "WTF!?" factor of 250cc motorbikes that can't keep up. :bleh:

I love scooters. I got yelled at for riding scoot between a couple of you lovely, immaculately dressed, and impossibly groomed blokes at a track day at Taupo. I was only doing about 175 clicks faster than the both of them, apparently it's disrespectful. Next time I'll ride slower and compare notes on male moisturiser...

[hang0ver]

They look good

Hmmm... Compared to what? Amy Winehouse with a hangover?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess...

[boomer]

I love posts from indignant law breakers complaining about outher law breakers not obeying their laws.

ahaahah aint that teh truth... waaaahambulance needed i think!

[MisterD]

lovely, immaculately dressed, and impossibly groomed blokes at a track day at Taupo.

I have to say that describes precisely no scooterist that I know has been to a Taupo track day...scruffy, greasy, garden shed engineers the lot of 'em.

[MisterD]

Hmmm... Compared to what? Amy Winehouse with a hangover?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess...

Was your bike styled by Bertone? Right, so :shutup:

[hang0ver]

Who is Bertone? Couldn't care less :crazy:

You scooterers are too worried about the 'look' :oi-grr:

[klingon]

Who is Bertone? Couldn't care less :crazy:

You scooterers are too worried about the 'look' :oi-grr:

Rubbish! Some scooterists are good riders, some are not. Some bikers are good riders, some are not. Some riders own both a scooter and a bike and use different machines for different occasions.

Sure, complain about the behaviour but don't bore us all by complaining about the machine. If you don't like it, don't ride it! Simple!

[Badjelly]

Well, on Sunday, whilst pootling along in the line of bikes heading for Kawhia, I saw a dude on a scoot with his son (aged about 7 or 8) on the back. Both barefooted. Both in shorts. Both in short sleeves. Both without gloves...

And what about those Harley riders? They never wave!

[madbikeboy]

And what about those Harley riders? They never wave!

So.... Is there an accepted KB wave....?

:woohoo:

[vifferman]

Rubbish! Some riders own both a scooter and a bike and use different machines for different occasions.
Um... I'd like to own both a scooter and a bike. Then I could commute by scooter and I might feel like going for a ride on the VFR in the weekends. While The Wacky Races (aka Kombat Kommuter Kaos) can be fun, it also sucks the life out of you.
Well... me, at least.

However, one of the dilemmas that worries me about getting a scootercommuter is what would I wear? Do I say, "Hmmph! I'm a scooterist now, and wear shorts'n'sandals'n'singlet, or LookLikeADick and wear full KombatKommuterKaosKlobber?
Does it matter?
Does anyone care?
Do I care?
Does anyone care if I care?
Do I care if anyone cares if I care if anyone cares?

42.

[Badjelly]

And what about those Harley riders? They never wave!


So.... Is there an accepted KB wave....?

Who knows? I never wave either. But with this thread dissolving into "scooter riders never wear adequate gear" I thought it might be nice to branch out into "Harley riders never wave" as well.

[madbikeboy]

I have to say that describes precisely no scooterist that I know has been to a Taupo track day...scruffy, greasy, garden shed engineers the lot of 'em.

Dear MisterD,

Please accept my sincere apology for pouring scorn, derision, or a certain amount of fun poking in your general direction, or the general direction of those fun little Wasps that you poof's ride.

For the record, when I give up completely on shagging pussy, and I'm looking for a little man/man rumpy pumpy, I will give up riding my 1000cc's of penis extension, and I'll buy a vintage Vespa and paint in pink to match my nails.

I trust you find this apology acceptable, and take it for the pisstake and lack of malice that this entire thread has been founded on.

Love your work.
MBB.

[vifferman]

I thought it might be nice to branch out into "Harley riders never wave" as well.
Or "Harley riders never wave and often wear gear that's incorrect but which adheres to the strict (but unspoken, although strongly hinted at, and subconsciously known by all but the nooboids) Harley Davidson Owners' Basic Tenets of Acceptable Gear Wearing and Standards of Waving Code of Conduct".

Or something.

[madbikeboy]

Um... I'd like to own both a scooter and a bike. Then I could commute by scooter and I might feel like going for a ride on the VFR in the weekends. While The Wacky Races (aka Kombat Kommuter Kaos) can be fun, it also sucks the life out of you.
Well... me, at least.

However, one of the dilemmas that worries me about getting a scootercommuter is what would I wear? Do I say, "Hmmph! I'm a scooterist now, and wear shorts'n'sandals'n'singlet, or LookLikeADick and wear full KombatKommuterKaosKlobber?
Does it matter?
Does anyone care?
Do I care?
Does anyone care if I care?
Do I care if anyone cares if I care if anyone cares?

42.


I care. This talk of scooters is bringing out the sensitive side of me. I saw a guy wearing a pink shirt a few minutes ago, and I thought to myself, what a lovely shade of Coral.

42 indeed.

I can tell you what I'm going to wear when I buy my vintage scooter. Full AlpineStar leathers, black helmet, AS boots, and pink woman's underwear.

Lacy things, the wife is missing, didn't ask her permission. Walking around in womens underwear.... :jerry:

[madbikeboy]

Or "Harley riders never wave and often wear gear that's incorrect but which adheres to the strict (but unspoken, although strongly hinted at, and subconsciously known by all but the nooboids) Harley Davidson Owners' Basic Tenets of Acceptable Gear Wearing and Standards of Waving Code of Conduct".

Or something.

They're all individuals. The uniform they wear is proof. :clap:

[vifferman]

Lacy things, the wife is missing, didn't ask her permission. Walking around in womens underwear....
Damned faggotty homo scooter wannabe. :Pokey:

[madbikeboy]

Damned faggotty homo scooter wannabe. :Pokey:

I do like scooters. But I don't own a pink shirt or any Moby. Does this mean I'm sexually confused, or just Bi(ke) curious.

:shit:

[hang0ver]

Rubbish! Some scooterists are good riders, some are not. Some bikers are good riders, some are not. Some riders own both a scooter and a bike and use different machines for different occasions.

Sure, complain about the behaviour but don't bore us all by complaining about the machine. If you don't like it, don't ride it! Simple!

Well put. I would give you a medal but I'm all out. I was complaining more about the fact my bike isn't 'Bertone' designed... It was a bad generalisation of 'scooterers'.

I even have a Honda Elite in the garage getting torn down. It'll be fast-tracke... Regretfully taken to the tip in a matter of days, seeing as the Bade is running again.

Go scooterers you rock!:headbang:

[vifferman]

Does this mean I'm sexually confused, or just Bi(ke) curious.
Depends on the scooters, and whether the ones you like have ambiguous names, or are Hondas.
Or are Hondas with ambiguous names, like "Lead".

Scooters should all have singularly unambiguous and totally ridiculous names. :yes:
So there's no confusion.
DillDow.
Arsewidget.
Phallusy.
Penilitic.
Buttfluff.
ManNipple.

[hang0ver]

dear misterd,

please accept my sincere apology for pouring scorn, derision, or a certain amount of fun poking in your general direction, or the general direction of those fun little wasps that you poof's ride.

For the record, when i give up completely on shagging pussy, and i'm looking for a little man/man rumpy pumpy, i will give up riding my 1000cc's of penis extension, and i'll buy a vintage vespa and paint in pink to match my nails.

I trust you find this apology acceptable, and take it for the pisstake and lack of malice that this entire thread has been founded on.

Love your work.
Mbb.

bpotyoalitt!

[gijoe1313]

And somewhere, praked in a gargre all wasing up, a little scrooter waits ...

[vifferman]

And somewhere, praked in a gargre all wasing up, a little scrooter waits ...
Beside it, a crusier, wushing it was a scroter.

[madbikeboy]

And somewhere, praked in a gargre all wasing up, a little scrooter waits ...

Between you and Viff, I have run out of bling. Someone please give some green bling to them, and I'll pass it forward.

[Maha]

Between you and Viff, I have run out of bling. Someone please give some green bling to them, and I'll pass it forward.


Viffermanboy just got some for the above word!!!!!

Arsewidget....way cool adjective :yes:

[madbikeboy]

Viffermanboy just got some for the above word!!!!!

Arsewidget....way cool adjective :yes:

Thank you Maha, always the gentleman.

[MadDuck]

I thought it might be nice to branch out into "Harley riders never wave" as well.

It has been done once or twice before and is under copyright to certain KB members :yawn:

[MarkH]

However, one of the dilemmas that worries me about getting a scootercommuter is what would I wear?

You could wear a magic armoured t-shirt, I've seen plenty of bike & scooter riders wearing them. I don't know what the armour looks like, I think it's invisible, but obviously no one is dumb enough to ride around with bare skin showing.
I always cringe when I see someone wearing an open face helmet, I feel like talking to them and ask if they realise that their helmet would not adequately protect their face if they had an accident.
I also cringe at the thought of not wearing gloves - my sex life would take a big dive if I had my hands all bandaged up. I guess some guys have a boyfriend that would jerk them off if their hands were injured.

My minimum (city commuting) is:
-Full Face Helmet
-Motorcycle gloves with armoured knuckles
-Motorcycle boots
-Dianese leather motorcycle jacket
-Dragin' Jeans
I just don't ride with less than this (even when travelling to the shops and back with no >50kph zones on the trip)!

For longer open road riding like my trip to the South Island & back (2400kms in 5 days):
-Full Face Helmet
-Motorcycle gloves with armoured knuckles
-Motorcycle boots
-Dianese leather motorcycle jacket
-Knox Aegis back armour
-Quasimoto leather pants

[slimjim]

Between you and Viff, I have run out of bling. Someone please give some green bling to them, and I'll pass it forward.

well unless they add a number to the Colour..won't be me..

:laugh:

[The Pastor]

They are not just limited to scooters, some of them ride hyobags - ask db

[madbikeboy]

It has been done once or twice before and is under copyright to certain KB members :yawn:

What, waving has been done?

Okay, checking that one off the list, how about?:
A thread on wheelstands?
A thread on crashing a bike?
A thread on tax/government/transit?
A thread on the legality of filtering?

No, I've got it, something that I've never seen on here, how about All the Gear, All The Time. We can make a neat acronym, ATGATT! Holy shit, how smart am I??

:innocent:

[Badjelly]

Scooters should all have singularly unambiguous and totally ridiculous names. :yes: So there's no confusion.
DillDow.
Arsewidget.
Phallusy.
Penilitic.
Buttfluff.
ManNipple.

Burgman? <meh>

[MisterD]

Dear MisterD,

Please accept my sincere apology for pouring scorn, derision, or a certain amount of fun poking in your general direction, or the general direction of those fun little Wasps that you poof's ride.

For the record, when I give up completely on shagging pussy, and I'm looking for a little man/man rumpy pumpy, I will give up riding my 1000cc's of penis extension, and I'll buy a vintage Vespa and paint in pink to match my nails.

I trust you find this apology acceptable, and take it for the pisstake and lack of malice that this entire thread has been founded on.

Love your work.
MBB.

I was with you, right until you insulted my Lambretta by the use of the word "wasp" :angry2:

Rest assured though, when the urge to join the "I've come as a tube of toothpaste" fancy dress party crowd strikes, you'll be the first person I call. :2thumbsup:

[nudemetalz]

The most annoying thing I’ve had happen to me is going from the Newlands onramp onto the Ngaraunga Gorge and have a cyclist on the motorway, yes motorway, telling me to move my Guzzi out the way ‘cause I was holding him up !!!
Before you get confused, this was because the traffic was travelling downhill at 30ish km/h and I was trying to change lanes so I could filter. He was supposed to be on the footpath !!!
I gave him a one-fingered salute and told him to F-off because I pay rego and he doesn’t.
I should have jammed on the brakes too but I would have broken the nice Italian plastic on my machine when he crashed into me and that’s not worth it.
Crazy world ay !!

[MadDuck]

What, waving has been done?

Yes in relation to Harleys - just once or twice


how about?:
A thread on wheelstands?

yes usually followed closely by .....


A thread on crashing a bike?

then closely followed by.......yous should always wear:


All the Gear, All The Time.

[MarkH]

A while back I was waiting to turn onto the main highway at Taupiri and saw this scooter fly past. The rider was in an open-faced helmet, lightweight jacket and a SKIRT... she was moving...I followed her for a while and she was doing 140kph...holy crap!

Special armoured skirt? Jeez 140kph travel warrants proper gear I would have thought.

[Badjelly]

The most annoying thing I’ve had happen to me is going from the Newlands onramp onto the Ngaraunga Gorge and have a cyclist on the motorway, yes motorway, telling me to move my Guzzi out the way ‘cause I was holding him up !!!

No motorway. At least, there's a motorway (obviously) at the bottom of Ngauranga Gorge, and there's motorway at the top, beyond the Johnsonville and Newlands intersections, but in between it's not motorway.

[nudemetalz]

No motorway. At least, there's a motorway (obviously) at the bottom of Ngauranga Gorge, and there's motorway at the top, beyond the Johnsonville and Newlands intersections, but in between it's not motorway.

Well, true point, but would you ride a pushbike on it ????

[madbikeboy]

I was with you, right until you insulted my Lambretta by the use of the word "wasp" :angry2:

Rest assured though, when the urge to join the "I've come as a tube of toothpaste" fancy dress party crowd strikes, you'll be the first person I call. :2thumbsup:

All is well with the world again, differences have been bridged, group hugs all around. Peace is settling across the valleys of turmoil.

[madbikeboy]

Well, true point, but would you ride a pushbike on it ????

I would, aside from ahving no knees and a healthy fear of anyone crazy enough to own a Guzzi.

[nudemetalz]

No lattes here, dude, only flat whites !!! :crazy:

[madbikeboy]

No lattes here, dude, only flat whites !!! :crazy:

I hate coffee. It takes like shite to me. I've never understood whay people will spend $5 on a cup of bean curds.

[nudemetalz]

I hate coffee. It takes like shite to me. I've never understood whay people will spend $5 on a cup of bean curds.

'cause it gives you the bleary-eyed craziness to control a torque-reacting 230kg Guzzi through tiny gaps in the traffic !!!

[MisterD]

No lattes here, dude, only flat whites !!! :crazy:

Shame on you! Riding an Italian bike and putting milk in coffee :nono:

[OutForADuck]

I love posts from indignant law breakers complaining about outher law breakers not obeying their laws.

Do as I say for god sake :nono: don't mind what I actually do !!!

Poor maligned homo whateva's

[nudemetalz]

Shame on you! Riding an Italian bike and putting milk in coffee :nono:

Milk is needed for extra calcium in the bones for hauling said overweight-Guzzi in commuting mode !!!
Yes, go on, shame on me for commuting a Guzzi..... :laugh:

[JohnR]

No lattes here, dude, only flat whites !!! :crazy:

I believe Latte Sipping Homosexuality (LSH) occurs in stages:

Full Cream milk with sugar = being recruited to LSH :psst:
Full Cream milk no sugar = experimenting with LSH :o
Trim milk with sugar = confused or closet LSH :scratch: :no:
Trim milk no sugar = confirmed, out of the closet LSH :mega:

[JohnR]

... oh and by the way, large cappucino with 3 sugars here. :headbang:

[vifferman]

Special armoured skirt?
Yeah, I saw one of those in Gay Pareeee.
This Business Dude comes out of a building, right (IBM, or one of those, at La Defense), and gets on his scooter. I though, "Huh..it's starting to spittle - you're gonna get damp!"
But no.
He gets on his scooter, and fastens a skirt thing around his lower body, effectively protecting him from 140km/h travel, rain, and (presumably) Arse Bandits.
Although it looked pretty gay (which is understandable, being Gay Pareeeee and all), it also looked rather functional, and probably meant either he wasn't really gay, or wasn't promiscuous, so wanted to be protected from being functioned by some other scooterist (or Passing-By Gay Pareeeeesian). En. End.

[Maha]

What, waving has been done?

Okay, checking that one off the list, how about?:
A thread on wheelstands?
A thread on crashing a bike?
A thread on tax/government/transit?
A thread on the legality of filtering?

No, I've got it, something that I've never seen on here, how about All the Gear, All The Time. We can make a neat acronym, ATGATT! Holy shit, how smart am I??

:innocent:


Deodorant!!!
No threads about that..........I use Lynx.
And thats also a good scooter name.....The all new 'Yamaha Lynx' $2995 at all good bike shops.

[MarkH]

Yeah, I saw one of those in Gay Pareeee.
This Business Dude comes out of a building, right (IBM, or one of those, at La Defense), and gets on his scooter. I though, "Huh..it's starting to spittle - you're gonna get damp!"
But no.
He gets on his scooter, and fastens a skirt thing around his lower body, effectively protecting him from 140km/h travel, rain, and (presumably) Arse Bandits.
Although it looked pretty gay (which is understandable, being Gay Pareeeee and all), it also looked rather functional, and probably meant either he wasn't really gay, or wasn't promiscuous, so wanted to be protected from being functioned by some other scooterist (or Passing-By Gay Pareeeeesian). En. End.

My guess would be that he was either:
1. over 70 years old and suffering from pneumonia.
or
2. Gay

Seriously - I can fit leather or cordura pants under the seat of my scooter to keep me warm and dry. A big weather protective skirt seems just a wee bit too :buggerd: homosexual for my tastes.

[MarkH]

Deodorant!!!
No threads about that..........I use Lynx.
And thats also a good scooter name.....The all new 'Yamaha Lynx' $2995 at all good bike shops.

ooh, sounds nice - how many CCs? :laugh:

I'd rather ride a 'Lynx' than a 'Dylan'. If a guy say "I am going for a ride on my Dylan" how do you not think :buggerd:? Do you say: "So how old is your Dylan, and what does he do for a job?"

[Badjelly]

Well, true point, but would you ride a pushbike on it ????

I did once, when I was young and stupid. It was fun! Now, maybe not.

[Maha]

ooh, sounds nice - how many CCs? :laugh:

I'd rather ride a 'Lynx' than a 'Dylan'. If a guy say "I am going for a ride on my Dylan" how do you not think :buggerd:? Do you say: "So how old is your Dylan, and what does he do for a job?"

Im just waiting for some to search for it to be honest....:rolleyes:

[nudemetalz]

I just couldn't resist !!!

A Honda Dylan 150............

[Maha]

I just couldn't resist !!!

A Honda Dylan 150............

Ah Ha!!!..the Yamaha Lynx is 151ccc!!!! :2guns:

[vifferman]

My guess would be that he was either:
1. over 70 years old and suffering from pneumonia.
or
2. Gay.
Oh dear.
He was (at a guess) in his late 20s / early 30s. He looked non-ghey, but I suspect you are right. He was riding a Burgman, or Burgman-esque scroter.

[vifferman]

I just couldn't resist !!!

A Honda Dylan 150............
I was going to say, "That's a sexually ambiguous name", but then I realised that given the KB penchant for calling Honda riders "ghey", anyone riding a Honda Dylan is definitely fruity.

[Forest]

The irony of this situation is MBB rides scoot himself! :msn-wink: I've never yet encountered such a precocious wunderkind myself and hope I never will!

See? You should have had a stebel installed, after your polite entreaties, you just let rip full bore and watch the toe-rag leap into the air ... thus enabling you to proceed on your way tootling the horn melodiously in gratitude! :innocent:

Seriously, those stebels sort those issues out mos ricky tick! :msn-wink: And its a laff to see all the cagers jump out of their seats in fright also! :eek:

Absolutely right!

Get a Stebel installed and the problem will take care of itself.

[MarkH]

Oh dear.
He was (at a guess) in his late 20s / early 30s. He looked non-ghey, but I suspect you are right. He was riding a Burgman, or Burgman-esque scroter.

Well, nothing wrong with a Burgman - but a Burgman in a skirt?

BURG-MAN - makes you think of big hard icy cold man.

Burgman wearing a skirt - makes you think of a cross dressing man *shudder*

How does a man look non-ghey? I thought only gays had gaydar, I certainly don't have it! As far as I'm concerned any dude could be into dudes, especially if there are signs like riding a scooter with a skirt - only assless chaps would be gayer.

[The Stranger]

BURG-MAN - makes you think of big hard icy cold man.


No a fat lard arse, been eating too many burgers.
Either way scroters are like a fat woman.

[Badjelly]

BURG-MAN - makes you think of big hard icy cold man.


No a fat lard arse, been eating too many burgers. Either way scroters are like a fat woman.

Wow, you guys are out-doing yourselves with the imagery. You really seem to have a fascination with this subject!

[Swoop]

Yes, go on, shame on me for commuting a Guzzi..... :laugh:
Great to see ya back on 2-wheels!
(or have I missed something... again!)

[The Stranger]

Wow, you guys are out-doing yourselves with the imagery. You really seem to have a fascination with this subject!

Just a simple word association game.
You need time to think huh?

[carver]

you will be happy to know i now own a white scooter.

you need to see anger management dude, or roll up a joint.
or smoke less crack

[scootnz]

Scooter skirts in Europe are as common as...uh...scooters.

They have no ghey association, being merely a practical solution to keeping the rider dry without having to don 'biker' gear.

Europeans have a far more practical attitude to scooters, and tend to ride modern new ones rather than vintage scooters more than 30 years old.

[Ixion]

They used to be popular when I was young. Or, at any rate, a variant, bifurcate to pass around the tank of a conventional bike, was.

I would get one if I could. On the BMW I keep almost completely dry, without waterproofs (so long as I do not stop - so I don't) *except* for the tops of my thighs. If I had an apron to cover them, which could remain affixed to the machine, it would be a great convenience.

[toycollector10]

My first bike in 1970 was a step-through 50cc Suzuki. Used to wear my school uniform including sandals and grey old shirt and shorts and a pudding basin helmet (with peak) when I rode it. I must have looked a bloody tragic sight.

But I never got up the sort of crap I see today. Undertaking a line of cars on the inside when they're stopped at a pedestrian crossing and just fucking well breaking on through the crossing without a second thought as to what children, mothers or babies in prams might be one step out of sight.

It fair does my bloody head in the things I see!!!

[MadDuck]

My first bike in 1970 was a step-through 50cc Suzuki. Used to wear my school uniform including sandals and grey old shirt and shorts and a pudding basin helmet (with peak) when I rode it. I must have looked a bloody tragic sight.

Ouch damn that brings back memories. My first bike was a step through 50. I wore a skirt and stockings (ok and a shirt). Let me tell ya when you come off with stockings on they burn like fark!

[Thunder 8]

so I'm just able to stop him getting a GSXR up his ass, from whence his boyfriend left a load this morning.

So, being as I'm a civilised guy, I lose it, telling him to move his fucking homo scooter.

So, he rolls forward about 6 inches, probably the length of man meat he had in his mouth this morning.

PS. I don't have any issues with gay people, I used the word Homo today with care and respect.

MBB.
:shit:I am glad you held back and didnt say what you really felt.:clap::clap:Hahahahahahahaha...... best farkin laugh ive had for ages.:lol::lol::lol:

[Ixion]

PS. I don't have any issues with gay people, I used the word Homo today with care and respect.


Maybe so. But do you love and embrace your fellow man?

Do you glorify and celebrate diversity ?

[SARGE]

Maybe so. But do you love and embrace your fellow man?

Do you glorify and celebrate diversity ?



no..





10 whatever

[Manxman]

Should've given him a slap across the arse on the way through. That would have made both your days.:Pokey::buggerd:

[vifferman]

Scooter skirts in Europe are as common as...uh...scooters.

They have no ghey association, being merely a practical solution to keeping the rider dry without having to don 'biker' gear.

Europeans have a far more practical attitude to scooters, and tend to ride modern new ones rather than vintage scooters more than 30 years old.
Duh!
Stop being so... so... sensible! :rolleyes:
This isn't one of those threads.

[Ixion]

no..





10 whatever

Well that's not very empathic or helpful for male bonding is it? I expected better from the USMC. What happened to 'Dont ask, Dont tell' ?

[vifferman]

My first bike was a step through 50. I wore a skirt and stockings (ok and a shirt).
Yeah.
Chicks wearing skirts on scroters. It's almost de rigeur, is it not?

[PrincessBandit]

Oh dear.
He was (at a guess) in his late 20s / early 30s. He looked non-ghey, but I suspect you are right. He was riding a Burgman, or Burgman-esque scroter.
Oi, I rode Rik's Burgman to Hamilton this afternoon. (Get's a lot of attention it does, shoulda seen all the locals when we were out at Clevedon last week too!)

No a fat lard arse, been eating too many burgers.
Either way scroters are like a fat woman.
See above - I DO NOT ride fat women!

you will be happy to know i now own a white scooter.



Aww, white?? Pink is so you though.

[MadDuck]

It's almost de rigeur, is it not?

Only if its a pink mini skirt and black stockings!

[SARGE]

Well that's not very empathic or helpful for male bonding is it? I expected better from the USMC. What happened to 'Dont ask, Dont tell' ?


yea.. im an empathetic guy.. mr sensitive..


have a muffin

[Ixion]

That's better. The ritual offer of food is a very nurturing and cherishing trait. It is associated with the nesting instinct, and fertitity ritualism. You are obviously attempting to connect with your feminine side.

[HEADACHE]

I'd like to know how scooters work, does carefully stepping onto one (to avoid creases in your Ralph Loren Slacks) protect you; an invisible shield of armour? One that removes the need for common sense, wrists that don't flap when you're talking, or the need to look in mirrors?

150 decibles of GSXR
seems like the latte sipping homo is related to the arrogant homo riding the gixxer - two fags in a pod

150 decibels - woteva, learn to spell to ya idiot



Either way scroters are like a fat woman.
great fun 'til your mates catch you, be good to hear that bedtime story sometime


yea.. im an empathetic guy.. mr sensitive..
too funny :laugh:

[portokiwi]

What is wrong with a nice latte?????:hug:dont put homo and latte togeather as I am sure they drink other drinks as well.
Nothing wrong with a nice latte:hug:

[HEADACHE]

What is wrong with a nice latte?????:hug:dont put homo and latte togeather as I am sure they drink other drinks as well.
Nothing wrong with a nice latte:hug:
why not?

GSXR and fuckwit seems to fit quite well.

[4Ducati]

why not?

GSXR and fuckwit seems to fit quite well.

Classic......................!!

[vifferman]

Nothing wrong with a nice latte:hug:
Too milky, like coffee milk soup.

[pritch]

(to avoid creases in your Ralph Loren Slacks)

:rofl: bling fired around with abandon. I was going to write gay abandon but that doesn't work quite the same way it used to...

I wore Ralph Lauren (see I can spell it) to work on the scooter today. That didn't make me feel any less straight than I felt yesterday or Monday when I rode the bike to work while wearing other (different) Lauren gear.

No, I'm not independantly wealthy, I bought these while they were on "special".

The irony of people who complain of being sterotyped stereotyping homos and scooterists has a certain innate appeal.

[nudemetalz]

Now there's nothing more manly than this Suzuki Burger...... (I think it's a Burgman)

[MisterD]

Now that looks like it should come with a chauffeur who says "Yes, milady".

[Mikkel]

Now that looks like it should come with a chauffeur who says "Yes, milady".

Actually it looks quite a bit like:

[madbikeboy]

seems like the latte sipping homo is related to the arrogant homo riding the gixxer - two fags in a pod

150 decibels - woteva, learn to spell to ya idiot




Oh, sorry, in my haste to write my little rant, I didn't spell check, and I mis-keyed. Unfortunately this "arrogant homo" hasn't mastered the art of being perfect.

But, in fairness, I will double check my posts in future to check spelling and grammatical accuracy - I'd suggest you learn to write proper English, "woteva" and "ya" don't seem to feature in my Oxford concise. If that wasn't clear enough, GFY.

[MisterD]

Actually it looks quite a bit like:

:doh: That was exactly the point I was making...but thanks for providing illustration for non T-bird fans.

[racerhead]

Heres a lovely design scooter from over this side of the world, I nearly fell off my bike laughin the first time I saw it. It looks like something off the set of star trek

[vifferman]

Heres a lovely design scooter from over this side of the world, I nearly fell off my bike laughin the first time I saw it. It looks like something off the set of star trek
Actual, it looks more like something from Thunderbirds. All it needs is a bobble-headed puppet (or muppet, LOL!) sitting on it...

[portokiwi]

You meen there is spell check on here??????? where. Yes i do drink a double short black and the good old latte,:scooter:

[klingon]

Ouch damn that brings back memories. My first bike was a step through 50. I wore a skirt and stockings (ok and a shirt). Let me tell ya when you come off with stockings on they burn like fark!

My Mum (now in her 70s) still has a huge scar on her leg from where she fell off her scooter in the 1950s. She was wearing skirt, stockings and cute little slingback shoes. Stockings melted right into her skin as she slid along the road. :sick:

Needless to say, her legs never looked the same in short skirts and slingback shoes again. I think it was quite a long time before she could wear any shoes at all, as the top of her foot was pretty much ground down to the bone. :shit:

[MarkH]

Now there's nothing more manly than this Suzuki Burger...... (I think it's a Burgman)

Ooh - pretty in pink!

But honestly - isn't that exhaust f'n ridiculous? Still, not much worse than what a lot of boy racers do to their rice mobiles.

[madbikeboy]

My Mum (now in her 70s) still has a huge scar on her leg from where she fell off her scooter in the 1950s. She was wearing skirt, stockings and cute little slingback shoes. Stockings melted right into her skin as she slid along the road. :sick:

Needless to say, her legs never looked the same in short skirts and slingback shoes again. I think it was quite a long time before she could wear any shoes at all, as the top of her foot was pretty much ground down to the bone. :shit:

Check out some of the Australian TVC's for safety:
www.spoke.com.au

Some of them are just gruesome...

[Morcs]

So lets see, I wonder what the road legal 2-wheel hierachy is:

Japanese sports,
Motards,
Italian sports,
Cool dual sports,
Sports tourers,
BMWs...,
Gay tourers,
Big gay dual sports,
Cruisers,
scooters,
Harleys,
Hyosungs.,
Chinese shite.

[The Stranger]

So lets see, I wonder what the road legal 2-wheel hierachy is:

Japanese sports,
Motards,
Italian sports,
Cool dual sports,
Sports tourers,
BMWs...,
Gay tourers,
Big gay dual sports,
Cruisers,
scooters,
Harleys,
Hyosungs.,
Chinese shite.

Pretty close, but you left one off
apanese sports,
Motards,
Italian sports,
Cool dual sports,
Sports tourers,
BMWs...,
Gay tourers,
Big gay dual sports,
Cruisers,
scooters,
Harleys,
Hyosungs.,
Chinese shite,
Hondas.

[MisterD]

So lets see, I wonder what the road legal 2-wheel hierachy is:


Come on Morcs, you should know that scooters breaks down into:

Weird old scooters (Maico, DMW, Puch...)
Lambrettas
Classic Vespas
New Geared Scooters
European Autos
Jap Autos
Chinese shite scooters can safely be grouped with the larger chinese shite list.

[nudemetalz]

Motards ABOVE Italian Sports ????????? :bash:
hmmmm !!!!:Pokey::ar15:

[Morcs]

Motards ABOVE Italian Sports ????????? :bash:
hmmmm !!!!:Pokey::ar15:
Yes. European bikes are either extremely efficient in everyway, but pig ugly, or the italians, which are beautiful, but a pain in the arse to live with.



Come on Morcs, you should know that scooters breaks down into:

Weird old scooters (Maico, DMW, Puch...)
Lambrettas
Classic Vespas
New Geared Scooters
European Autos
Jap Autos
Chinese shite scooters can safely be grouped with the larger chinese shite list.

Yeah trying to suppress my darkside roots :devil2:
And you should put in modern vespas - I think they are the gayest thing ever. Gimme an ol px200 any day :)

[MisterD]

Yeah trying to suppress my darkside roots :devil2:
And you should put in modern vespas - I think they are the gayest thing ever. Gimme an ol px200 any day :)

They come under European autos...Vespa, Gilera, Derbi, Peeewwgeot.:done:

[PrincessBandit]

So pleased to see Jap sports at the top!! :yes:

[carver]

So lets see, I wonder what the road legal 2-wheel hierachy is:

Japanese sports,
Motards,
Italian sports,
Cool dual sports,
Sports tourers,
BMWs...,
Gay tourers,
Big gay dual sports,
Cruisers,
scooters,
Harleys,
Hyosungs.,
Chinese shite



close but

The Mormon few who ride:
Japanese sports,
Motards,
Cool dual sports,
Sports tourers,
scooters,







bikes they do not ride

Gay tourers,
Big gay dual sports,
Cruisers,
BMWs...,
Italian sports,
Harleys,
Hyosungs.,
Chinese shite.

[nudemetalz]

Yes. ....... or the italians, which are beautiful, but a pain in the arse to live with.



Dammit, I was trying to work out a good answer to this but you're goddam right !!!!