Fatt Max
5th December 2008, 10:19
Great story from my younger days…
Twas in my 16th year, last holiday away with the folks to a Butlins style holiday camp in f*****g Wales or somewhere.
Anyroad upwards, the evenings were spent in the communal lounge / entertainment bar. The old man was buying me piss and I was happily drinking away with my brother (2 years older) and we are settling in for a night of quality ‘Hi-De-Hi’ entertainment.
So, the MC asks for volunteers to play a game of ‘Mr & Mrs’. For those of you who do not know, this was a crap game show on UK telly years ago that would make Jason Gunn look funny. The idea was that one of the couple would go into a soundproof booth while the other stands outside and is asked three questions about their marriage, simple stuff like who makes the beds the best or who has the tidiest shelf in the bathroom. After the person has answered the questions their partner is invited out of the booth and asked the same questions. If the answers match, they win..! See, told you it was a piece of crap, eh…
Back to the holiday camp and a very enthusiastic couple put their hands up to play. These two have been a pain in the arse all holiday constantly requesting the Birdie Song, trying to start ‘congas’ every 5 minutes and knocking on peoples doors at 7.00am in the morning saying “Hi, we’re your holiday neighbours, lets go for a nice walk…”
Getting a picture of them now I hope…
So, up they go. The husband says he will answer first and the missus gets into the booth. Me and my brother are quite langers now and we get told off by the campsite Gestapo for shouting out “Gas The Bitch” while she is in the booth.
Cant remember the first two questions, but the third was “where is the strangest place you and your wife have had sex”. The guy is not too sure about answering but after a bit of coaxing from the MC he finally admits that when they were courting, they had a bunk up in a phone box. Everyone laughs and he is suddenly elevated to legend status.
Then, it’s the wife’s turn….
Same question, “where is the strangest place etc etc……”. She goes red as a baboons arse, her hubby is saying “it’s ok love, they all know” and the MC is agreeing. We are all laughing and waiting for the answer.
…and then it comes…..
She grabs the microphone, giggles, and says in a loud and clear voice….
….”Up the arse…..!”
Well, the place went dead quiet, the guy looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him and, once the woman realised what had happened, she burst into tears….
We f*****g well cracked up laughing and soon the whole place erupted into spasms of uncontrolled joviality. Soon after the classic footie chant of “Does she take it, does she take it, does she take it up the arse” started up and the embarrassed couple flee through the nearest exit.
Funny, we never saw them again that holiday, managed to get a sleep in without them.
Now, some may say that this is an urban myth but strike me down with a pair of wet undies and call me Susan, I was there and saw it all.
Thought I would share this with you, hope you enjoyed…..
Twas in my 16th year, last holiday away with the folks to a Butlins style holiday camp in f*****g Wales or somewhere.
Anyroad upwards, the evenings were spent in the communal lounge / entertainment bar. The old man was buying me piss and I was happily drinking away with my brother (2 years older) and we are settling in for a night of quality ‘Hi-De-Hi’ entertainment.
So, the MC asks for volunteers to play a game of ‘Mr & Mrs’. For those of you who do not know, this was a crap game show on UK telly years ago that would make Jason Gunn look funny. The idea was that one of the couple would go into a soundproof booth while the other stands outside and is asked three questions about their marriage, simple stuff like who makes the beds the best or who has the tidiest shelf in the bathroom. After the person has answered the questions their partner is invited out of the booth and asked the same questions. If the answers match, they win..! See, told you it was a piece of crap, eh…
Back to the holiday camp and a very enthusiastic couple put their hands up to play. These two have been a pain in the arse all holiday constantly requesting the Birdie Song, trying to start ‘congas’ every 5 minutes and knocking on peoples doors at 7.00am in the morning saying “Hi, we’re your holiday neighbours, lets go for a nice walk…”
Getting a picture of them now I hope…
So, up they go. The husband says he will answer first and the missus gets into the booth. Me and my brother are quite langers now and we get told off by the campsite Gestapo for shouting out “Gas The Bitch” while she is in the booth.
Cant remember the first two questions, but the third was “where is the strangest place you and your wife have had sex”. The guy is not too sure about answering but after a bit of coaxing from the MC he finally admits that when they were courting, they had a bunk up in a phone box. Everyone laughs and he is suddenly elevated to legend status.
Then, it’s the wife’s turn….
Same question, “where is the strangest place etc etc……”. She goes red as a baboons arse, her hubby is saying “it’s ok love, they all know” and the MC is agreeing. We are all laughing and waiting for the answer.
…and then it comes…..
She grabs the microphone, giggles, and says in a loud and clear voice….
….”Up the arse…..!”
Well, the place went dead quiet, the guy looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him and, once the woman realised what had happened, she burst into tears….
We f*****g well cracked up laughing and soon the whole place erupted into spasms of uncontrolled joviality. Soon after the classic footie chant of “Does she take it, does she take it, does she take it up the arse” started up and the embarrassed couple flee through the nearest exit.
Funny, we never saw them again that holiday, managed to get a sleep in without them.
Now, some may say that this is an urban myth but strike me down with a pair of wet undies and call me Susan, I was there and saw it all.
Thought I would share this with you, hope you enjoyed…..