You know you have a Classic if...

[Dodgyiti]

I want to hear your hard luck stories in Mad Magazine format.
The sentence starts:

You know you have a classic if...

Here are a few to start off with, from my own personal over stuffed drawer of grief.

You know you have a classic if you have to pe-order a tire because no one stocks decent 18"/19"/21" road rubber


You know you have a classic if your mobile phone contacts include a Towie

You know you have a classic if you worry that the grime incrusted in your fingers will not wash off for the job interview on Monday

You know you have a classic if you count your friends as "the engine guy" "the balancing guy" "the electrickery guy"


You know you have a classic if you go to the bike shop knowing they will not have the part you want, nor will they be able to order it, nor will they even know what your talking about


You know you have a classic if they snigger at you when you ask if they have the part


You know you have a classic if you go on group rides so at least someone can double you home


You know you have a classic if your missus asks you to clear that crap out of the garage and she means your bike

You know you have a classic if you don't bother to put a catch tray down when doing an oil change because the floor needs some fresh stuff to wash away the crusty stuff anyway



I got plenty more, but let's hear some of yours:rolleyes:

[Bonez]

You know you have a classic when you go on a group ride and your bike is the only one without a radiator or a fan.

[Subike]

you know you have a classic when after points and plugs you can still afford a beer

[Ixion]

You know you have a classic when you go on a group ride and your bike is the only one without a radiator or a fan.

You know you have a classic when you go on a group ride and your bike is the only one without a camshaft

[Dodgyiti]

You know you have a classic if you have to buy a whole bike just to get that unobtainum part

You know you have a classic if the only accessory you can buy is a muffler, and it looks stupid once you fit it.

You know you have a classic if it takes you 5 hours to prepare for a group ride and everyone else justs puts gas in


You know you have a classic if you put spares over clothes when sorting what you can carry on a long trip

You know you have a classic if you park on the grass not the driveway when visiting friends (unless they have a classic too, then you mark your own spot on their driveway)



You know you have a classic if you spend every stop on a group ride checking nothing has fallen off

You know you have a classic if you start carrying 'fluids' on long journeys because buying a one litre at a gas station is just a rip off, you buy oil by the 44 gallon drum

[Bonez]

You know you have a classic when you go on a group ride and your bike is the only one without a camshaftYou know you have a classic when you go on a group ride and your bike is the only one with push rods.

You know you have a classic when you go on a group ride and wonder why every one complains that you smoke. Haven't had a siggy for 20 years.

You know you have a classic when you go on a Friday night ride carrying a decent assortment of tools and spare cables.

You know you have a classic when you're garden shed is full of spare parts "just in case".

You know you have a classic when you can give it a few kicks to get the engine running because the battery is getting tired.

You know you have a classic when your riding at night and a glow worm has more illumination than your headlight on full beam.

You know you have a classic when the battery dies, have no kick start, but can still bump start it to get you home.

You know you have a classic when you mention screw and locknut adjustments then get asked what page of the karma sutra
is that position on.

You know you have a classic when a group of black clad HOG members start reminising about the "good old days" whilst gathered around your il4 at Cafe Cuba.

You know you have a classic when you drop a part, can't find it, then just go to the old set of bedroom drawers and pull out another. Carry on with the task at hand only to find the dropped part two days later sitting on under the other "project" which you lost same part for two days earlier.

You know you own a classic when you need things called tubes to keep the tires inflated.

You know you have a classic when you carry a bridge wire in your pocket just in case you lose your ignition key.

[Taz]

You know you have a classic if you have to tickle it to get it going....

[Dodgyiti]

You know you have a classic if you have to tickle it to get it going....

That could also pass for the missus too




You know you have a classic if your ears are so highly tuned you can discern every individual mechanical part slowly failing while riding

[eelracing]

You know you have a classic when last years favourite t-shirt makes a great cleaning rag.

[Pedrostt500]

You know you have a classic when you have 3 other bikes for spare parts.

[Trumpess]

:laugh: awe fucken excellent! :2thumbsup

Thanks for the giggle!

Shame though that alot said rings blaring bells :lol:

[Dodgyiti]

You know you have a classic if you can spot parts from your old classic in other's classics (eh Max?)

You know you have a classic if you draw your own wiring diagrams because nothing wired to the bike by now matches the factory diagram anyway


You know you have a classic if you have your bike/model permanantly searched on E-Bay/TradeMe... just in case something turns up

You know you have a classic if non-bikers haven't even heard of the brand when they ask what you ride

You know you have a classic if you keep knackered parts because a knackered spare is better than no spare

[Max Headroom]

You know you have a classic when you no longer call it your bike and begin referring to it as your "project".

You know you have a classic when you experience the exhilaration of returning home from a ride for once without requiring external assistance.

You know you have a classic if wearing black leathers actually looks benign.

You know you have a classic when even your best jeans have oil stains.

You know you have a classic when "cracking the ton" now means travelling more than 100kms without a breakdown.

You know you have a classic when you actually read all the hardware flyers from your letterbox just in case there's more tools on special.

You know you have a classic when you realise that most of the books on your shelf include the name of your bike somewhere in the title.

You know you have a classic when many of the ornaments on your shelf were formerly attached to your bike at one time.

[Dodgyiti]

Very nice Max, still waiting on Motu- who probably has more pent up grief than most



You know you have a classic if you park up at a bike meeting and have to quickly get away from your classic before a herd of cloth cap wearing anoraks surround you harping on about the old days

[Ixion]

You know you have a classic when you experience the exhilaration of returning home from a ride for once without requiring external assistance.

.

You know you have a classic when you experience the exhilaration of returning home from a ride actually *riding* , and with at least 75% of the bike you set out on !

[Motu]

You know you have a classic,when it's finally restored and you are now quite certain it's the only one in the country - and some old guy walks up and says....''I used to have one of those....''.

[Paul in NZ]

You know you have a real classic when you come home from an all day ride, park the bike and spend 10 mins looking at it getting all gooey inside before you go in for a beer...

[Gremlin]

You know you have a classic when you can actually kick start it :shifty:

[xwhatsit]

You know you have a classic when you can actually kick start it :shifty:
And what the hell would you know, Mr I-Don't-Have-To-Peddle-My-Bike-Up-Passing-Lanes?

[Ixion]

You know you have a classic when you can actually kick start it :shifty:

Instant classic !

[mister.koz]

You know you have a real classic when you come home from an all day ride, park the bike and spend 10 mins looking at it getting all gooey inside before you go in for a beer...

I'm like that with my zx6r :)

You know you have a classic when you start fashioning parts out of old car/bike parts that aren't a match for yours while muttering "manufacturer design flaw...." and "needs more .. mumble mumble .. pfft, not designed for 50years"

You know you have a classic when the bare metal of the engine looks more appealing than the paint/coating that has since flaked/burned off.

[vifferman]

Instant classic !
Will there be any bikes from this decade (or the last one) that will be worth hanging on to as classics? Or is everything too consumerised and disposable?

[Max Headroom]

Will there be any bikes from this decade (or the last one) that will be worth hanging on to as classics? Or is everything too consumerised and disposable?

The collectible bikes to watch for will be the ones that were highly praised on their release for being head-'n-shoulders above the rest, and often they had a successful competition history too. There needs to be some point of difference to mark out a future classic, such as new technology (ideally technology that works!) or cutting-edge design etc.

As history has proved, just because a bike or car has become rare doesn't automatically make it desirable or valuable. Big difference between a bike that becomes a classic purely because of its age vs. a collectible classic. Limited Edition models usually have a better chance of collectibility unless its one of the multitude of Harley Davidson "limited editions" distinguished only by a paintjob and a badge....

I'd venture to suggest bikes from the last decade like the Ducati 1098 race model and MV Agusta F4 312(?) would be a safe bet. No wiggle room in my budget to stash one away though!

[Ixion]

I disagree. Many of the bikes now considered "classic" would not qualify on that basis.

Indeed, that would mean the only bikes that could ever be considered classics would be near racers. That rules out almost all BMWs , f'instance. And things like the S7 S8 Sunbeams.

I'd argue that the humble Beeza bantam is a classic. But noone could claim that it was cutting edge design , or had an illustrious competition history.

Some bikes become classics because they are the exact opposite of this. Instance the mighty Maggot. So much derided and scorned that now people collect them.

[Max Headroom]

I disagree. Many of the bikes now considered "classic" would not qualify on that basis.

Indeed, that would mean the only bikes that could ever be considered classics would be near racers. That rules out almost all BMWs , f'instance. And things like the S7 S8 Sunbeams.

I'd argue that the humble Beeza bantam is a classic. But noone could claim that it was cutting edge design , or had an illustrious competition history.

Some bikes become classics because they are the exact opposite of this. Instance the mighty Maggot. So much derided and scorned that now people collect them.

Again, age qualifies any motorcycle more than 25 years of age as a classic. Some of those 25 year old bikes will be more desirable than others for various reasons. I'd respectfully suggest that the last surviving Honda CB250 Super Dream of the 1970's will still not be considered valuable, nor will it be widely sought after....

A collectible classic is entirely a different animal. Consider bikes such as any Brough, virtually any Vincent, Gold Star, Vetter Trident, CB750 K0 with sand-cast crankcase, roundcase 750SS etc, and the pattern emerges of bikes that were highly regarded when new, with limited production numbers and mostly with competition pedigree.

In the UK there are stand-alone car clubs for Austin Allegro, Hillman Hunter and Austin Maxi enthusiasts. Their owners' enthusiasm is not matched by high $$$ values, even though they are now rare....so, there are classics, and then there are collectible classics. IMHO, a big difference.

[Bonez]

Some bikes become classics because they are the exact opposite of this. Instance the mighty Maggot. So much derided and scorned that now people collect them.Surely you don't mean that horrible liquid cooled, v-twin, shaft drived, tubeless tired thing from the late 70s? Absolutey shocking bike I tell ya.

[Ixion]

Yeah, that's the one. The only thing more repulsive than a Maggot is a Maggot rider :devil2:

[Bonez]

Yeah, that's the one. The only thing more repulsive than a Maggot is a Maggot rider :devil2:So true..............Face only a mother would love.

[Max Headroom]

Yeah, that's the one. The only thing more repulsive than a Maggot is a Maggot rider


So true..............Face only a mother would love.


This might be a bad time to admit I bought one brand new.....:dodge:

[Bonez]

This might be a bad time to admit I bought one brand new.....:dodge:I've got a rather well used '78 CX in the shed. Secound one I've owned. Previous was an '82 model. Funny thing is I like it better than the small framed R65 I had.

[Max Headroom]

I've got a rather well used '78 CX in the shed. Secound one I've owned. Previous was an '82 model. Funny thing is I like it better than the small framed R65 I had.

Interesting that you thought that. I sold the CX to buy my old R90/6 back in '85, and found that (for me anyway!) the handling of both bikes were quite similar. I liked the Maggot, but it disgraced itself by running a main bearing at only 5000km. The dealer fixed it, but I never completely trusted it after that. Kinda spoiled the whole "new bike experience" for me.

[Voltaire]

You know you have a classic when dealer sees you and says. " spark plugs and oil is all we have for 'that'...."

True story... They might like to make replicas of their 70's bikes but turn up on one.....
and the 70's ones look better than the replicas anyway...Paul Smart....yeah right....

[Dodgyiti]

You know you have a classic if you relate to at least 80% of the 'you know you have a classic if..'


You know you have a classic if your head is full of knowledge so obscure you have to find other nitwits on the internet to harp on about it because no one will admit to it in person


You know you have a classic if even your dogs will not keep you company in the garage on those late cold nights spent festering over 'issues'

You know you have a classic if when your wife leaves you and dosen't even consider taking half of your bikes because they hold no salable value in her eyes

[eelracing]

Read somewhere once that you never actually own a classic,you are just holding onto it for the next owner.

[reofix]

you know you have a classic if you can't sleep for worrying before a club ride
you know you have a classic if you just need that one original bit that only you know is dodgy

[Max Headroom]

You know you have a classic if the closest thing resembling a computer or digital display on your bike is the cellphone in your pocket.

You know you have a classic if nobody can figure out how to start your bike, even if the key is in the ignition.

You know you have a classic when they can't even find the ignition key.

[Ixion]

A real classic doesn't *have* an ignition key. Just a magneto kill button. Or maybe not even that.

or if it does have a key, it doesn't look like any sort of key that any sane person ever saw (that's for the BMW owners )

[Motu]

Ah,keys! The Triumph key was kinda pointless,a screwdriver worked just as well....I think I still have one somewhere.The Euro keys were good too - how many ways did you start your BMW/Guzzi/Puch/NZeta etc? A leadhead nail was pretty good as it didn't fall into the headlight shell.I also used a needle from a spray painting gun for some time too,it was long and I didn't get around to losing it as much as a nail.

[Ixion]

If you have lost your Triumph key, one from a Austin Seven (pre 1937 I think) will fit.

Y'see it is this sort of useful information that will make this forum such a valuable resource.

[Bonez]

Interesting that you thought that. I sold the CX to buy my old R90/6 back in '85, and found that (for me anyway!) the handling of both bikes were quite similar. I liked the Maggot, but it disgraced itself by running a main bearing at only 5000km. The dealer fixed it, but I never completely trusted it after that. Kinda spoiled the whole "new bike experience" for me.May get another airhead one day. Right time right place and all that. Dads got a mint R80 he has had for years. The thread Motu started will be interesting reading.

[Voltaire]

You know you have a classic when you kick it into life.

I like the amazed looks when I kick my 900cc twin into life.....I'm always amazed when it starts.
Electric start was the beginning of the end as it meant wimps could ride motorcycles.....then electronics....wimps who can't use tools....

[Richard Mc F]

You know you have a classic when you kick it into life.

I like the amazed looks when I kick my 900cc twin into life.....I'm always amazed when it starts.
Electric start was the beginning of the end as it meant wimps could ride motorcycles.....then electronics....wimps who can't use tools....

But Ducati bevel electric starts, and electronics, oh lord even more humour, I think I need a lie down and a cup of tea :clap:

[Voltaire]

But Ducati bevel electric starts, and electronics, oh lord even more humour, I think I need a lie down and a cup of tea :clap:

Tea....thats for British Bike owners...do you want scones with that....jam and a dollop of cream....

[Chooky]

You know you have a classic when you put the loading ramp and tiedowns on the back of the ute and tell the missus to keep the phone on,before going for a ride...
True story :yes:

[toycollector10]

I've got electric start and kick start on the CB750. I like to use the kicker. Why? Because I can......

[Voltaire]

I've got electric start and kick start on the CB750. I like to use the kicker. Why? Because I can......

I've got electric start and kick start on the SD 900. I use the the kicker....why? Because I have to.....:rolleyes:

[Richard Mc F]

I've got electric start and kick start on the SD 900. I use the the kicker....why? Because I have to.....:rolleyes:

You need those dodgey wog electrics sorted.....more beer will do the trick:innocent:

[Voltaire]

You need those dodgey wog electrics sorted.....more beer will do the trick:innocent:

:drinkup: :drinkup: :drinkup: :drinkup: :drinkup: :drinkup: :drinkup: :drinkup: :what you mean fill up the F and P tool chest????

I got as far as putting the clutch on...:bash:

have to use the back up bike in the meantime..:scooter:

any progress on the S2?

[Sable]

You know you have a classic when you filter through a traffic jam, get to the front, then the engine stops for no apparent reason and you have to roll it off to the side and kick frantically at it while everyone you just passed goes by and laughs at you out their windows.

[xwhatsit]

You know you have a classic when you filter through a traffic jam, get to the front, then the engine stops for no apparent reason and you have to roll it off to the side and kick frantically at it while everyone you just passed goes by and laughs at you out their windows.
Oh man, I've been there so many times!

It starts and idles pretty good now. Just needed some minor tweaking... a new rebuilt carb, replaced plug lead, replaced coil, replaced CDI, replaced the stator coils in the alternator.

[Dodgyiti]

You know it's a classic if your bike tries to mate with things outside it's species, like a boat

(told you they was all true)

[PeteJ]

You know it's a classic if anyone else's eyes glaze over as soon as you start telling them all the interesting stuff about it.

[Armitage Shanks]

:wacko::wacko:Been away for a while, great thread and I'd love to have some of the Bikes mentioned in my shed.

I got, stored away a CR500...still new, and Zero hours, ...is that a classic ?

Bikes a last model '01 and I bought it then never got to use it....Grrmmph

[Dodgyiti]

You know it's a classic when other classic owners cringe every time you wind it out to redline

You know it's a classic when you can wind it out to redline with confidence, confidence inspired by the fact you own a ute just in case...

[motorbyclist]

you know you have a classic when full insurance is just a token effort - you know the odds of them fixing it are about as good as the odds of you letting them fix it.

you know you have a classic when you wont let mates ride it not because they might damage it, but because parts can't be replaced if they do.

you know you have a classic when old codgers approach you and can't even say "i used to own one of those", but "I haven't seen one of these in years", or a flat out "I've only seen these in magazines, and that was when they were new".



and to think my bike is only 13 years old, and that old codger was completely ignoring the mint 1978 RD250 parked next to it


there will be classics from the last decade - the sp1 and sp2, probably every generation of R6 and R1 (their numbers will swiftly drop) and probably the zx636. basically anything the young people of today are aspiring to own, or having a great time riding. The cbr250rr and zxr250 will be collectable once a few more are written off out of the market - mint ones are already near on impossible to find. the fxr150 may hit the list, as with the scorpio if they end production. once production ceases the GN250 will be collectable along with the gpx purely because they've been in production for so many years. i'd see the vtr250 also, but that might be wishful thinking. the NC30 is already getting there to join the RC30.... infact i'd say any 400 will be a collectable in a few years time. the NC35 is already there for it's rarity (and apparent obscurity) as is the very hard to find RC45 - both are head turners.

[Voltaire]

You know you have a classic when you think you have a potential bucket racer and its too old.....

this was my wifes learner bike in 1983...then a mate played with it and now its in my Mums garage.
I had a look at it this morning and I think it deserves to be left alone.
It has alloy rims and a twin leader ( Yamaha?) brake.
everything powercoated.
Anyone got any 100's/125's or parts they want to sell as I found a 140 kit that I could build a bucket around.?..:scooter:
PM me if you have any bits.

[Armitage Shanks]

Forget about the Bikes, and I have a few ....just washed my car, Mitsubishi 380.

Truly the P76 of the current era, tell me I'm wrong. I did'nt choose it but ...wow, smooth , quiet and goe's well.

Pre-empting the 380 owners club ?

Back to the Bikes ..........:-)

[Henk]

You know you have a classic when you spend three hours on the spanners for every hour on the bike.

[Ixion]

You really know that you have a classic when you can't buy spanners that fit it ! (Or taps and dies )

[rudolph]

You know you have a Classic if your on the waiting list for knee surgery.

[Max Headroom]

You know you own a classic when you're prepared to drive from Whangaparaoa to Te Kauwhata after work on a Monday evening to pick up a few bits needed to get the old girl ready for a trip (like one guy did last week.......)

You know you own a classic when you have not only heard of marque specialists in The UK and Europe, but you've spoken to half of them on the phone at some stage....

You know you own a classic when you realise you've spent more time helping some guy you've never met in Australia rebuild his bike by phone or email with parts or advice than you've spent helping your own neighbour....

[ntst8]

You know you own a classic when you can recognise which part is falling apart this time just by the all too familiar sound of that new rattle while riding ... another bloody muffler, Sunday was such a nice day too.

[flyingcr250]

ha ha ha funny stuff, reminds me of when i was mucking round with my old 1972 TS250, all the wiring was the same colour ha ha ha.

[Dodgyiti]

You know you own a classic when the lathe gets fired up instead of the Yellow Pages when you need a spare part


You know you own a classic when you fire up the welder to fix something and after stripping off the paint/gunge find out someone has already done that in the past. But the bastard braised it and now you have to grind out all the filthy brass to find the metal again, then weld it

[nudemetalz]

You know you have a classic if your bike used to be a little humble commuter but now is very rare and people have wanted to purchase it......
UMA, my little 1963 Yami YG-1 :)

[Dodgyiti]

You know you own a classic if you start to resemble, both in looks, and mannerisims- a Womble!

"Making good use of the things that we find...."

You know you own a classic if you know what a Womble is....

[Voltaire]

You know you own a classic when you ring up Cycletreads and ask whats available in 19" and they say " motocross or enduro ?"

You know you own a classic when you can get a set of tyres, rim tapes, and a balance for less than $ 400.00

[tri boy]

You know you own a classic if you have have a sticker on the dash to remind you to turn the oil tank tap on.:cool:

[Dodgyiti]

You know you own a classic when you thought it used to impress the women, and now it seems to impress her less and less especially when it needs further 'investment'

[riffer]

Hmmm.

You know you have a classic when the retro reissue copy is now considered a classic.

[Bonez]

You now you have a classic when the main fuse blows as you are getting ready to go to work............
But thats ok, you've got a spare or two in your jacket pocket.