Near miss - This is NOT funny...

[Fatt Max]

Far Canal, I’ve just seen my life flash before my eyes.

Parnel Road, I’m doing no more that 50-55KM/hr. Black MX5 stopped in the middle of the road in front of me, about 50m away.

I’m slowing down and watching this prick then……KA-FUCKING-BOOM, guy does a full lock U turn, spinning the wheels and making a whore of a noise, spins the car and comes charging towards me and I can see to my horror that he is losing it.

I’ve nowhere to go, parked cars on my left and this mental c**t on my right. Only option is a driveway 10 in front of me meaning I have to charge at it and hope this goon gets on his side of the road.

I just manage it and the car comes screaming towards me, I’m thinking “It’s all over now you fat bastard” as this car is heading straight at me. He straightens up but not before he clips my elbow with his wing mirror and speeds off.

Fuck me gently, I thought I was a goner there my lovelies. I’m sure he went through the red lights at the top of the hill but I was that fucking shit scared and shocked that I could not be sure (any ‘Harden Up’ comments at this point would be appropriate I suppose).

So, the driver was a young Asian male (17-20) with very distinctive black/blond spikey hair. The car is a black MX5 with an aluminium bolt on spoiler on the back. I have kept the rego and reported it but if anyone sees this little c**t on the road today, can you please flick him the finger on my behalf.

Sorry guys, had to get this one off my chest. Take care out there.

I want my mum……:no:

[jrandom]

DWA, the most common road regulation violation in Auckland.

:no:

Glad to hear you're in one piece!

[short-circuit]

He can get all the fingers on my right hand and some kevlar knuckles as well. Will keep an eye out for ya bud.

[portokiwi]

Shit mate that was close. Were you a cat in your past life?????
How many misses you have had now:crazy:

[Fatt Max]

Shit mate that was close. Were you a cat in your past life?????
How many misses you have had now:crazy:

To be honest mate, not that many. I've just had a run of real funny stuff lately (plus the odd snog with a stranger). I mean, how often do you see a guy crap into a cycle hat?

This was my first real serious arse muscle tighteneing experience. I truly thought it was all over cos he was coming straight at me and was losing control of the car at the same time, freaky eh.

Anyway, thanks for the kind words...

[Pwalo]

Mate you must be a real nutcase magnet. Stay in Auckland - please!

[Pascal]

I mean, how often do you see a guy crap into a cycle hat?

Hopefully never. Such an experience would likely scar me for life. I'm glad to hear you're okay though!

[PrincessBandit]

Glad you still had the presence of mind to look for your "out"; even though we're constantly reminded to do so it's one of those never-know-till-you're-in-the-situation-yourself scenarios.
Pleased you are ok, even if the heart rate took a while to settle. Timely reminder to us all that there are some sick, dangerous little showoffs out there who don't give a toss about the lives of others.

[Starky307]

I have kept the rego and reported it but if anyone sees this little c**t on the road today, can you please flick him the finger on my behalf.

Take the rego to your local AA or vehicle driver licensing and after paying a small fee they will let you know who the owner of the vehicle is and their registered address.

I'd call in and and let him have it from both barrels on my way home tonight.:niceone:

[fergie]

problem is even if you did find him and give him a blast he would only smile at you and say"solly,don't speak a da inglish,solly"

[Mom]

Nice escape there! Makes you wonder what makes some people tick when this sort of shit happens. Take care eh?

[scuzeme]

Glad to here your alright mate this stuff scares the shit out of me, driving responsibly minding your own business and some dumb young and full of cum A hole mows you down, forget the finger mate this dude sounds like he needs a spikey catus shoved you know where....on second thoughts hes probably such a cunt that he'd like that.

[racerhead]

Good job on spotting the escape route and being able to use it because Im sure alot of others would just panic and freeze in a situation like that.
Treat all cars like there out to get us:2guns:

[Swoop]

...he clips my elbow with his wing mirror and speeds off.

the driver was a young Asian male (17-20)
I am amazed that you can tell how old an asian male would be!

Also, I just hate it when a mirror comes in contact with elbow armour...:whistle:

[davereid]

Lucky escape, go buy yourself a lotto ticket.

BTW, post the rego number if you wish - it may help some other 17 year old asian with a spiky haircut avoid the (incorrect) wrath of a biker.

[Fatt Max]

I am amazed that you can tell how old an asian male would be!

Also, I just hate it when a mirror comes in contact with elbow armour...:whistle:

Both very good points sir.

Age is easy, I just go on how low below the steering wheel their head is.

Mirror / armour, no injuries, just a bad farty smell I suppose

As I said, I want my mum....:baby:

[Blossom]

shite Max. Glad you are ok.
With driving like that I imagine he will attract the attention of the fuzz shortly.
At least its Friday?

[madbikeboy]

I work in Parnell, he matches the description of many of the stupid young assholes in cages.

Post the rego, someone will be able to guess at the ownership details...

[prettybillie]

Always remember *555 can be rung by bikers too. These damn cars do it to us all that time!!!

[keithbuckby]

well done on your finding an out, I 'm not sure I would have had the calmness to:headbang:

[PHATVW]

I know exactly what you mean, had a similar incident on my ZXR last week in Albany, SUV pulls out at intersection talking on his mobile, heard me skid so he stops right in the middle of road forcing me to swerve into oncoming traffic to avoid him... but my basic primal instinct of fight or flight kicks in and my adrenalin doubled within a second :dodge: felt great but dangerous as hell!

Mind you I'm Asian and have been driving for many years without any accident, it's always those minority like that MX5 that gives us the bad driver stereotype :mad:

Anyway I'm glad that you are ok :clap:

[MSTRS]

You really must get rid of that target you must be displaying....:lol:
Well done for quick reactions. Often that is all we have, between a post and a box.
Get in touch with the bank that runs that haircut ad...they'll know who the little tosser is.

[Sparrowhawk]

I had a couple of near miss moments because of cages myself yesterday. Must be the time of year for it. I'm glad you're ok Max, quick reactions to see the escape route.

Waz the MX-5 a softtop? "oops, I slipped & accidently plunged the screwdriver from my bike's toolkit through the roof, sorry 'bout that...."

[slimjim]

mate...you're dangerous to be around...well glad you did report it..but don't hold your breath..gota keep your wits up..

[discotex]

Must be the time of year for it.

It only gets worse from now till Xmas day. Then there's the holiday traffic on the open road.

[Road Guardian]

I do hope the boys in blue to their work, find the B****** and impound his car (+ arrest him, sustained loss of traction), that way he is restricted in his ways of trying to turn someone into road kill.

[Boob Johnson]

Well done Max, struth that was close, that is one narrow road with cars on each side.

Think you've done enough for a mellowpuff :stoogie:

[wbks]

Hatcrapper, homoerotic roadrage, instantanious karma and more nutty drivers...I used to be around "otada bro" a bit and from all these stories it actually makes me feel safer in otara then parnow!

[Insanity_rules]

Glad you're still with us Max, always love your rants. You speak very eloquently regarding the human condition. Bugger me if that little incident doesn't prove that you have an angel riding pillion mate.

Are you going to report the basket?

[jim.cox]

+ arrest him, sustained loss of traction

"attempted murder" would be a more appropriate charge

[musicman]

problem is even if you did find him and give him a blast he would only smile at you and say"solly,don't speak a da inglish,solly"

It's surprising how much English a punch in the face will teach someone like that though.

[mattian]

Man.... you really have some close encounters don't ya Maxx. A new one every week ! you take care out there bud.

[Fatt Max]

Sitting here having a beer thinking about this morning and how fecking close that was.

All I can say to all of you guys is a huge thanks for the kind words with the usual sprinkle of KB humour thrown in.

Thanks one and all, really appreciated.

Take care

[TOTO]

u are a magnet for trouble.

[lostinflyz]

It's surprising how much English a punch in the face will teach someone like that though.

if its solid enough they often develop an rather acute understanding of many languages.

good thinking on escape route. my usual thoughts in bad situations is:Oops: then fuck. i forget the whole escape plan thing.

[Grin-T]

I see him from time to time round town. One of those 'cool' guys who wants to show off his lack of skills behind a vehicle.

Next time I see him, I'll stare at him and give him a head shake for you. From one asian to another, he'll probably find it more offensive. :argue:

[Squiggles]

He clipped you... doesnt that make this a hit and run? Might be viewed more seriously by police, and no, he wont learn from it, so dont be a nice guy :msn-wink:

[MDR2]

So, the driver was a young Asian male (17-20) with very distinctive black/blond spikey hair. The car is a black MX5 with an aluminium bolt on spoiler on the back. I have kept the rego and reported it but if anyone sees this little c**t on the road today, can you please flick him the finger on my behalf.



Bet you it was the dude off that ANZ bank add 'yeah easy'

hope you mentioned to the police that you were hit and that the driver failed to stop and assertain whether you were injured or not.

Congrats on surviving another day :S

[Mystic13]

Dude, not only are you a magnet for strange happenings but asians as well. Are you sure you're not smoking instead of riding.lol.

You can probably write a book on near death experiences at the rate you're going.

I'm through that way often so I'll make sure I'll steer clear of any black crazy looking MX-5. Although usually when I'm near one the mirrors are so damned low their usually well below my elbows.

You really need one of those warning signs plastered on your back so we know to stay well clear.

Take care out there. Now if you ride as well as you tell stories I'm sure you'd be an amazing rider.

It's always a laugh to read your latest biker encounter. I'm beginning to think you should carry mutliple bike mount camera's to give us the actions shots. It'd make a great website.

Cheers.

[SARGE]

flick me the details .. i'm all over that area all week long and if i can spot him, i can slow him up a few kph

[gijoe1313]

flick me the details .. i'm all over that area all week long and if i can spot him, i can slow him up a few kph

Not with the usual mayhem you are capable of I hope! You aren't in Beirut/Baghdad/Tel Aviv/Souf Auckland now y'know! :msn-wink:

Oh wait, was that the sound of a cage detonating improbably in a blast of explosive proportions? :sweatdrop

[SARGE]

Not with the usual mayhem you are capable of I hope! You aren't in Beirut/Baghdad/Tel Aviv/Souf Auckland now y'know! :msn-wink:

Oh wait, was that the sound of a cage detonating improbably in a blast of explosive proportions? :sweatdrop

nah man.. im getting a bit older now .. i prefer....



subtle..

*cough*

[wbks]

Beat the shit out of his car with a bat right in front of him. If he trys to stop you just turn towards him with it

[SARGE]

Beat the shit out of his car with a bat right in front of him. If he trys to stop you just turn towards him with it

yikes!!.. you like jail food huh?:buggerd:

[wbks]

I think I'm too young to get sent there so untill 17 I will exploit that...