Haven't posted a joke for a while...

[icekiwi]

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading.

Man says: 'This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache.'

Wife replies: 'I think you'll find that is a sheep.'

Man replies: 'I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep'

[P n G]

A Blonde walks into the mechanics', asks if he can fix her car; sure thing he says come back at end of day...........
she comes back and asks if he'd fixed it..
"sure did" he says, just shit in the carby.....
"OH" says the blonde... how often do i have to do that.

[kevfromcoro]

2 Irish guys are sitting in a pub having a drink.
they start chatting.... and mick says to paddy
where are u from..
Dublin says paddy.
well so iam i. says paddy..went to school there.
mick says well so did i.....
and whats your last name...
o reily says paddy
so is mine says mick...
thats amazing..
the bar tender jumps up and says.........give us a a hand will ya
the o reily twins are pissed again

[tommygun]

I'm sick of door to door collectors. Theres just been a woman round at my place asking for donations for a sperm bank. I gave her a right mouthful.