Flucking load lage

[Fatt Max]

Decided to get out and about this afternoon and take the bike for a wee blat.

So, I’m cruising into Howick about 5.00pm and can see a car load of our oriental cousins coming out of a side road on my left. The driver is looking to his left and edging forward so he has not bothered to look the other way and cannot see me approaching.

I slow down in anticipation and notice that one of the female passengers sitting behind the driver is telling him that I am approaching. Next thing I know he has pulled right out in front of me, I swerve to avoid him narrowly missing an oncoming car who must have seen my plight because he pulled over to avoid me.

The offending car speeds past me and the girl in the back gives me the single finger salute as they pull away towards the Prospect Pub. I beep the horn and flick the finger back.

Thinking no more of it, I carry on only to see that the car has pulled over by the Hammer Hardware store and the driver is out of the car waving his arms at me as I pass. So, sensing a bit of agro, I pull over to see what the flapping is all about. Conversation something like this:

Driver – How dare you show finger to my girl
FM – You should look where you are going you prat
Driver – you no talk like this, I velly angly, you are fuckwit
FM – Mate, do me a favour and go throw a fucking big hairy dog into your big self you two bob slit faced c**t..! (bit strong I know but all good fun)

This is when the funny shit happens.....

The young lady in the back reckons it’s her turn to get stuck into the fat biker and steps out of the car screaming like a rabid dog. She is wearing a sarong type thing around her waist and is brandishing what looks like a fucking hair drier or something.

Great, mee thinks, I’m about to get permed to death by Lucy Liu.

She slams the car door behind her but catches her sarong in it. As she lurches forward the sarong comes away and there she is, in the middle of the high street down to her undies.......and they were pink Barbie ones...!

I fecking piss myself, start the bike, shout “Oi love, nice Alan Whickers” and ride off. I see in the wing mirror that she is desperately trying to cover herself up because she looks a total prannet.

Love it....:banana:

[BMWST?]

how do you find these people?

[roy.nz]

Love it ......

[MsKABC]

:clap: You are a comedy magnet.

[Fatt Max]

how do you find these people?

Mate, wished I knew...I seem to attract them time and time again.

[Swoop]

You could have been onto another snog!
This time with a member of the correct sex.:rolleyes:

[Katman]

Sounds like shit to me.

[Fatt Max]

Sounds like shit to me.

Ok Ok Ok, its a fair cop.

Yes, this is not quite true. I couldnt tell 100% that the undies were barbie ones but they sure as hell looked pink. I havnt worn mine for years myself so I cant quite remember what they look like.

[Mystic13]

Sounds like shit to me.

+1

lol... some folks like to tell fish stories, some folks like to tell bike stories and some folks... like to tell Asian disaster stories?...

All I think is i really need to know what your bike looks like because I want to make sure I'm not too close. It seems you're always on the verge of problems and being clear just seems a safe place to be.

On a more serious note I find it easier to not take on cage drivers in this manner... I think it just makes them less likely to be pleasant to a bike in future.

Last time I had a car almost run into me we stopped and talked and I said in a calm voice "Gee you came really close to knocking me over... you really need to keep an eye out for us bikes" and they were pleasant and apologised and we wished each other well and went on our way. I'd like to think he'd be likely to treat a rider better in future as a result.

While you embelish stories well I'm just not sure you do riders much of a favour with the confrontational style.

[Insanity_rules]

You sure do pick em Max, does your bike have an idiot magnet or is it a rice queen (attracted to asians)?

[Ixion]

Well, from what the stout gentleman says, they were the confrontational ones.



The offending car speeds past me and the girl in the back gives me the single finger salute as they pull away towards the Prospect Pub. I beep the horn and flick the finger back.


So, they try to kill him, then give him the finger. Obvious racism, for a start.

I'd have been a good sight more confrontational, m'self.

[Fatt Max]

lol... some folks like to tell fish stories, some folks like to tell bike stories and some folks... like to tell Asian disaster stories?...

All I think is i really need to know what your bike looks like because I want to make sure I'm not too close. It seems you're always on the verge of problems and being clear just seems a safe place to be.

On a more serious note I find it easier to not take on cage drivers in this manner... I think it just makes them less likely to be pleasant to a bike in future.

Last time I had a car almost run into me we stopped and talked and I said in a calm voice "Gee you came really close to knocking me over... you really need to keep an eye out for us bikes" and they were pleasant and apologised and we wished each other well and went on our way. I'd like to think he'd be likely to treat a rider better in future as a result.

While you embelish stories well I'm just not sure you do riders much of a favour with the confrontational style.

A fair and valid point.

However it was the cockiness that got up my hooter. This guy and his passenger didnt seem to care that I had to swerve to avoid them because of their attitude on the road. And it's not just Aisian drivers, we have all experienced aggro from drivers of all sexes, nationalities and ages.

In fact, the worst incident I witnessed was a rich white boy in his mums MX5 who nearly wiped out a mum and her toddler. I dont give a flying rats where these people come from, if they are downright dangerous and oblivious to other road users, then give 'em a blast I say.

I am in full agreement, however, that altercations can cause more problems for other bikers. God forbid that the next time this individual sees a bike he will want to have a pop because of our little incident. I certainly do not want to cause havoc to anyone.

The lighter side is that this chick was de robed by her own car door while coming at me with a hair dryer....now that is funny...

Good points and note well and truly taken mate

[Ixion]

I must say that I do not usually get too bothered about cages that move in on me, pull out in front of me, etc, mainly because it happens so often and I have got to the point where I can usually anticpate it. But, the ones that get me REAL MAD are those where the guilty party thinks its a big joke or tries to make like it's my fault that they're psychpathic P addled morons.

And I do have to say that by a factor of at least 9 to 1, the ones that will do something that could kill you (or , a learner , anyway) and then when you catch them they'll be giggling away about it like it's the funniest thing in the worlds, are Asian. Chinese, mainly. I dont know what's with that, but it really gets my goat. And they get at least a good few choice words.

[musicman]

She slams the car door behind her but catches her sarong in it. As she lurches forward the sarong comes away and there she is, in the middle of the high street down to her undies.......and they were pink Barbie ones...!

Pics or it never happened.

[TOTO]

sorry , its too weird to be true !

[Anarkist]

and then when you catch them they'll be giggling away about it like it's the funniest thing in the worlds, are Asian. Chinese, mainly. I dont know what's with that, but it really gets my goat. And they get at least a good few choice words.


Pure ignorance is what it is.

I've seen someone cause an accident (and not exactly a small one either) at an intersection and drive on absolutely oblivious to what happened while all other cars at the intersection stopped, with some drives from each side getting out to check on people.

That's what really grinds my gears. Some realise they've done wrong, and feel bad about it. Others wouldn't blink if a kid bounced off the windshield.

[Forest]

No wonder the driver was so angry.

The last time he got drunk, some bastard did a shit in his hat!

[wbks]

Didn't you say the MX5 driver was Asian? Gave some indian dudes a lift to the gas station when their car broke down and they were pointing at my new bucket on the trailer grinning and speaking 100mph in indian... I really think those of asian ethnicity don't like bikers so much...

[Mia]

sorry , its too weird to be true !

:shifty: I'll have to agree with you there seems, to me everytime you take your bike out there's some fucking shit that happens...
I'm out & about lots & don't have any of the crap you seem to attract...
Maybe you are reading too many womens weekly mags Im, fucked if I know Fatmax:whistle:

[retro asian]

You stay away from our people!!! (and our young girls)

:laugh:

[musicman]

I really think those of asian ethnicity don't like bikers so much...

So... am I supposed to hate myself now...? :confused:

[quickbuck]

So... am I supposed to hate myself now...? :confused:

Yep, apparently you are ;)

Crikey there are more bikes in Asia, than any other part of the world...... So I thought.

[pixc]

they'll be giggling away about it like it's the funniest thing in the world....

Well...um...im guilty at laughing when the shit hits the fan. Starts off with a snigger...then turns into a flat out LMAO.

I did it when I was passenger in a car accident. Got out.. and started laughing. The other car hit the side i was in..i saw all this happening in slow motion and ending up sitting in my mates lap. ..you had to be there...it was funny. It was just down the road from where i lived...and I was trying to tell the driver of the other car that i was going home to get a broom to sweep up all the glass...but i was laughing to hard. Pissed him off.

I started laughing when i dropped the bike on me and was pinned under it. Its what i do. It not disrespectful, not beingmean..its how I deal with certain types of stress I guess. It does piss people off. But I cant help it..its the way Im built.

So keep that in mind...some people react abit differently to situations.

[Shadows]

She slams the car door behind her but catches her sarong in it. As she lurches forward the sarong comes away and there she is, in the middle of the high street down to her undies.......and they were pink Barbie ones...!

I fecking piss myself, start the bike, shout “Oi love, nice Alan Whickers” and ride off. I see in the wing mirror that she is desperately trying to cover herself up because she looks a total prannet.

Love it....:banana:

Now if you really wanted to sort the little bitch out you should have thrown one up her when you had the opportunity.

[Starky307]

FM you should organize rides for those of us who would love to see this stuff happening, we could ride around designated "hot zones" of trouble and heckle from the sides as you get into it. I sure could throw a word or two in to flame the situation.:bleh::bleh:

[pritch]

Sounds like shit to me.

True or not it was amusing.

Perhaps some of us may be in need of a sense of humour transplant? :whistle:

[wbks]

So... am I supposed to hate myself now...? :confused:No, you're a rogue!:wari:

[NZsarge]

On a more serious note I find it easier to not take on cage drivers in this manner... I think it just makes them less likely to be pleasant to a bike in future.

Last time I had a car almost run into me we stopped and talked and I said in a calm voice "Gee you came really close to knocking me over... you really need to keep an eye out for us bikes" and they were pleasant and apologised and we wished each other well and went on our way. I'd like to think he'd be likely to treat a rider better in future as a result.

While you embelish stories well I'm just not sure you do riders much of a favour with the confrontational style.

I struggle to see why it should make any difference as to what you happen to be riding/driving at the time. If some knob pulls out in front of me while i'm abiding the law and minding my own business they'll hear about it, don't forget, it was Fatt Max that was gestured to and verbally assaulted first, do you suggest just because he's riding a bike he should stand there and take the abuse incase it colours said abuser's feelings toward bikers?

[NZsarge]

Sounds like shit to me.

Sounds like you need a life man!

[Badjelly]

...we have all experienced aggro from drivers of all sexes, nationalities and ages....

But some of us seem to experience it more often than others.

[mdnzz]

FM, how many times do we have to tell you, GET A FREAKING CAMERA.
Sheeze man with all the stuff goin on around you you'd make a fortune on the net.
O and of course it backs up the rants a little;)

[Richi]

Decided to get out and about this afternoon and take the bike for a wee blat.

So, I’m cruising into Howick about 5.00pm and can see a car load of our oriental cousins coming out of a side road on my left. The driver is looking to his left and edging forward so he has not bothered to look the other way and cannot see me approaching.

I slow down in anticipation and notice that one of the female passengers sitting behind the driver is telling him that I am approaching. Next thing I know he has pulled right out in front of me, I swerve to avoid him narrowly missing an oncoming car who must have seen my plight because he pulled over to avoid me.

The offending car speeds past me and the girl in the back gives me the single finger salute as they pull away towards the Prospect Pub. I beep the horn and flick the finger back.

Thinking no more of it, I carry on only to see that the car has pulled over by the Hammer Hardware store and the driver is out of the car waving his arms at me as I pass. So, sensing a bit of agro, I pull over to see what the flapping is all about. Conversation something like this:

Driver – How dare you show finger to my girl
FM – You should look where you are going you prat
Driver – you no talk like this, I velly angly, you are fuckwit
FM – Mate, do me a favour and go throw a fucking big hairy dog into your big self you two bob slit faced c**t..! (bit strong I know but all good fun)

This is when the funny shit happens.....

The young lady in the back reckons it’s her turn to get stuck into the fat biker and steps out of the car screaming like a rabid dog. She is wearing a sarong type thing around her waist and is brandishing what looks like a fucking hair drier or something.

Great, mee thinks, I’m about to get permed to death by Lucy Liu.

She slams the car door behind her but catches her sarong in it. As she lurches forward the sarong comes away and there she is, in the middle of the high street down to her undies.......and they were pink Barbie ones...!

I fecking piss myself, start the bike, shout “Oi love, nice Alan Whickers” and ride off. I see in the wing mirror that she is desperately trying to cover herself up because she looks a total prannet.

Love it....:banana:

LOL pure gold! :first:

[mattian]

I've learnt to take all of your stories with a grain of salt Maxx. They are a very entertaining read though....... funny as.

[raftn]

Sounds like shit to me.

Couldnt agree with you more!

[Curious_AJ]

I've had some problems with silly arsed drivers... one time I was happily riding down the road and up to a round-a-bout was clear to my right, but there was a soccer mom van coming up to my left.

Now, I was cautious, but I rode through in the correct way, and just when I was almost right in front of said soccer mom on the left, she starts driving through! Worst bit was, when I hooted and saluted she gave me the finger and screamed out the window at me (couldnt hear what she was saying, something about "...biker PUNK!" 0_o) and kept on going! luckily I managed to get out of this by riding all the way around the round-a-bout (close in to the circle as she didn't leave much room) and by some miracle managing not to fall over (learner)...

I was completely flabberghasted by her complete lack of sense!

fucking soccer moms...