Atheist marriage celebrants?

[bobsmith]

Hi Everyone.

So my fiancee says that we have to start looking for a celebrant for our wedding in October now...... :crazy:

Anyhow, so I've been looking around and it would be very special if we could get married by an atheist marriage celebrant. Failing that I would even settle for a non-religious celebrant (by that I mean they really need to have no religious beliefs at all)

Well I've been googling around and I found that people don't seem to advertise that they're atheist or non-religious (well some I found say they do non-religious weddings but are actually religious themselves if that makes sense)

So, anyone know a good atheist marriage celebrant? Or even a truely non-religious marriage celebrant?

Any idea would be appreciated.

[Indiana_Jones]

civil union?

-Indy

[Big Dave]

(in aus) They usually have several types of service to choose from.
Just specify that you don't want any religious references and they will oblige.

[Curious_AJ]

I thought all marriages were "under the eyes of God" or so to speak??

isn't a non-religious marriage just a civil union as Indy indicated?

[rainman]

Why do you care? That's so anti-religious it's almost religious itself!

[MsKABC]

Marriage celebrants will use whatever words you want in your ceremony, God doesn't have to be mentioned if that's what you prefer. There is just one phrase that has to be said by law, along the lines of "I Gertrude, take you Percival to be my husband". The rest of the vows can be completely of your choosing.

And I would be booking one for October now too - they can be pretty heavily booked. Good luck with the search.

[Nasty]

Two of my aunts are celebrants .. and like all the others have some books of standard words that must be said .. and optional ones ... I think you just want to influence the celebrant .. not cut them off entirely ... tell them nonreligous .. and that is what you will have.

[Little Miss Trouble]

I would have thought there would be plenty of non-religious celebrants out there.






Please tell me I'm not the only one who has a quiet little snigger when seeing a non-religious couple getting married, particularly where they already live together and have kids (together or from previous relationships) and the celebrant is talking about god?

[imdying]

Bahahahahah, that's the funniest thing I've heard all week :rofl: Rainman summed it up.

[jrandom]

Why do you care? That's so anti-religious it's almost religious itself!

Perhaps he doesn't want the formalities of his once-in-a-lifetime special day to include silly regressive fantasies of the supernatural?

Dunno about you, but the more serious an occasion is, the less I'd want it to incorporate any reference to Flying Spaghetti Monsters, Great Green Arkleseizures or any of the popular flavours of murderous bearded sky-men.

:yes:

[Hitcher]

Two of my aunts are celebrants

If the one who led Grub's funeral does as well on weddings, then it would be well worth the cost of admission.

[jrandom]

This link (http://www.dia.govt.nz/web/marriagecelebs.nsf/regionmap?readform) will be a good place to start.

Also, it's not beyond the bounds of possibility to have an acquaintance of your choice appointed as a celebrant (http://www.bdm.govt.nz/diawebsite.nsf/wpg_URL/Services-Births-Deaths-and-Marriages-Becoming-a-Marriage-Celebrant?OpenDocument) for the occasion.

(Further info in http://www.bdm.govt.nz/pubforms.nsf/URL/MarriageCelebrantbrochure.pdf/$file/MarriageCelebrantbrochure.pdf)

[hayd3n]

invisible pick unicorn

[Dave Lobster]

Weren't people getting married before the goat herders' god was brought to northern europe in the 9th/10th (whenever) century?

Our marriage had to be none religious, as we did it in a register office in ingerlund.

[rainman]

Perhaps he doesn't want the formalities of his once-in-a-lifetime special day to include silly regressive fantasies of the supernatural?

Perhaps you misunderstand. I quite agree with the requirement for a non-religious celebration. What confuses me if the requirement for an "atheist marriage celebrant".

[Nasty]

If the one who led Grub's funeral does as well on weddings, then it would be well worth the cost of admission.

They are both pretty good .. one in Welly the other in Chch ... Really cool ladies ... :)

[jrandom]

Perhaps you misunderstand. I quite agree with the requirement for a non-religious celebration.

Ah, very good.


What confuses me if the requirement for an "atheist marriage celebrant".

Would it confuse you if they were asking for a celebrant who was a biker?

I don't find it at all difficult to understand the desire for a celebrant who shares one's philosophical values.

[Magua]

I thought all marriages were "under the eyes of God" or so to speak??

isn't a non-religious marriage just a civil union as Indy indicated?

Nope, marriage is a civic ceremony. Only religious if you want it to be.

[Okey Dokey]

I can recommend the local registrar. Minimise cost and non-religious. Why "pretend" with a celebrant? Just do a civil service.

[Oakie]

Try here ... http://www.humanist.org.nz/celebrants.html and follow the link to 'Accredited Humanist Celebrant'. It lists two in Auckland. Humanists are basically people who believe in being good people and living good lives but without any supernatural (religious) belief.
Quote from their website: Humanist Weddings Ceremonies - are entirely secular, but most definitely ethically based. Humanist Celebrants work as honestly as possible with the couple to construct a ceremony unique to their personal and family needs - a very special occasion. Moments of quiet reflection can be included to accommodate religious relatives. The aim - a relaxed and friendly atmosphere with the focus on the couple as individuals (often their children, too); their partnership, the lifelong commitment they are making to each other, and the importance of their legal oaths.

My step father found these people in his search for someone to conduct a non-religious funeral for himself.

Good luck with it.

[rainman]

Would it confuse you if they were asking for a celebrant who was a biker?

Yeah, kinda - it's pretty unrelated. :)


I don't find it at all difficult to understand the desire for a celebrant who shares one's philosophical values.

Maybe I'm just too much of a cynic, or a subjectivist,or something. If I wanted a non-religious celebration and hired a celebrant I wouldn't care if they were actually deeply (insert religion here)... as long as I got my non-religious event.

[bobsmith]

Thanks jrandom and Oakie.

I'm just glad that there were some helpful comments amongst people who must have just ignored 90% of the first post or don't seem to get it at all.

Don't know why so many seem to believe that marriage needs to be religious but where I come from marriage and religion or "God" have nothing to do with each other.

I know there are many marriage celebrants that can make my ceremony "non-religious" however what I was looking for was a genuine atheist or a non-religious celebrant. I've given up trying to explain why to christians but I'm sure other atheists could understand.

Interesting point you made about appointing someone to be a marriage celebrant for my wedding jrandom - I hadn't thought of that. Will definately be an option in case we don't find a celebrant to suit us. Thanks for the link to the humanist society of NZ Oakie. We'll definately look into it. My fiancee certainly likes the idea since she's not a hard out atheist like me.

Thanks everyone who's posted helpful comments and for others... well we'll just see how long it will be before it goes to PD.

[Okey Dokey]

And BTW, congratulations on your engagement!

[Mr Merde]

I have an aquaintance, based in Wellington at the moment, who is a pagan and a marriage cellebrant. If you are interested PM me and I will put you in touch

Merde

[klingon]

...Interesting point you made about appointing someone to be a marriage celebrant for my wedding jrandom - I hadn't thought of that. Will definately be an option in case we don't find a celebrant to suit us. ...

This can be much harder to do in cities than in smaller rural communities. You need to have evidence that the person you want to have as a celebrant fulfills criteria that cannot be filled by another celebrant in the area.

When my sister got married we looked at me becoming a celebrant for her wedding, but we couldn't do it with my residential address being Auckland. At a stretch I would have qualified if I had given my address as the rural area where she lives (and where I own land), but neither of us were comfortable with that.

If you are serious about this option, look into it very carefully first because you only get one chance to fill in the application form! Consider all the factors that may have an impact on whether the application will be approved.

By the way, I'm an atheist and had a totally non-religious wedding. I have no idea of the religious/spiritual views of the celebrant. We just liked her, she listened to us and gave us exactly the ceremony we wanted so it never ocurred to us to ask about her own beliefs. But it is your big day, so only the two of you can make the call.

Just make sure you have a fantastic day, no matter what form the ceremony takes. :2thumbsup

[Badjelly]

I know there are many marriage celebrants that can make my ceremony "non-religious" however what I was looking for was a genuine atheist or a non-religious celebrant. I've given up trying to explain why to christians but I'm sure other atheists could understand.

Not this one. When Mrs Jelly & I (both atheists) got married in 1973 we engaged a celebrant who was recommended to us, we talked to her about the ceremony we wanted. she must have asked at some stage if we wanted any religious content and we said no. We never thought to ask about her beliefs, or lack thereof.

But it's your ceremony and your choice.

PS: If civil unions had existed then, we might well have had one. (Formed one?) I suggested to Mrs Jelly a year ago that perhaps we should get a divorce and then form a civil union, but she wasn't keen.

[Nasty]

Thanks jrandom and Oakie.

I'm just glad that there were some helpful comments amongst people who must have just ignored 90% of the first post or don't seem to get it at all.

Don't know why so many seem to believe that marriage needs to be religious but where I come from marriage and religion or "God" have nothing to do with each other.

I know there are many marriage celebrants that can make my ceremony "non-religious" however what I was looking for was a genuine atheist or a non-religious celebrant. I've given up trying to explain why to christians but I'm sure other atheists could understand.

Interesting point you made about appointing someone to be a marriage celebrant for my wedding jrandom - I hadn't thought of that. Will definately be an option in case we don't find a celebrant to suit us. Thanks for the link to the humanist society of NZ Oakie. We'll definately look into it. My fiancee certainly likes the idea since she's not a hard out atheist like me.

Thanks everyone who's posted helpful comments and for others... well we'll just see how long it will be before it goes to PD.

Have you looked at the definition of atheist cos by defintion they by denying there is a god acknowledge the existance of god.

On the other hand Agnostic may be what you are after ... as they don't even acknowledge his exisitance in the first place.

[klingon]

Have you looked at the definition of atheist cos by defintion they by denying there is a god acknowledge the existance of god.

On the other hand Agnostic may be what you are after ... as they don't even acknowledge his exisitance in the first place.

Atheist - Someone who believes that god does not exist (from a not + theos god)

Agnostic - Someone who believes that nothing can be known about the existence of god

So if someone has weighed up all the factors, and believes the evidence shows that god does not exist, then they are an atheist.

[Curious_AJ]

Thanks jrandom and Oakie.

I'm just glad that there were some helpful comments amongst people who must have just ignored 90% of the first post or don't seem to get it at all.

Don't know why so many seem to believe that marriage needs to be religious but where I come from marriage and religion or "God" have nothing to do with each other.

I know there are many marriage celebrants that can make my ceremony "non-religious" however what I was looking for was a genuine atheist or a non-religious celebrant. I've given up trying to explain why to christians but I'm sure other atheists could understand.

Interesting point you made about appointing someone to be a marriage celebrant for my wedding jrandom - I hadn't thought of that. Will definately be an option in case we don't find a celebrant to suit us. Thanks for the link to the humanist society of NZ Oakie. We'll definately look into it. My fiancee certainly likes the idea since she's not a hard out atheist like me.

Thanks everyone who's posted helpful comments and for others... well we'll just see how long it will be before it goes to PD.

I dont believe it needs to be religious, thats just what i was told and was confused so had to ask about it... sorry if i offended you. but it's not my fault...

now isnt it possible to just get a registrar to do it?? thats non-religious isn't it?

[Badjelly]

Have you looked at the definition of atheist cos by defintion they by denying there is a god acknowledge the existance of god...

Er, right. :wacko:

I believe there is another thread on which people debate these matters. But I dare not speak its name.

[jrandom]

I believe there is another thread on which people debate these matters. But I dare not speak its name.

Years ago, we decided that referring to it as the Scottish thread would avoid the bad luck that inevitably followed speaking its name.

Of course, I can't see it at the moment, ever since I garnered 24 infraction points from three occasions on which I innocently mentioned van-borne soft-serve icecream with tasty, tasty toppings.

Thanks Nasty!

:msn-wink:

But, yes, any further discussion of the definitions of 'atheist' and 'agnostic', the differences between the statements "the supernatural is simply ridiculous fairy tales based upon no evidence whatsoever" and "the supernatural is unknowable and therefore uncommentable upon", etc, should be taken over there.


I have an aquaintance, based in Wellington at the moment, who is a pagan and a marriage cellebrant.

Pagans aren't exactly atheists!

[Mr Merde]

....


Pagans aren't exactly atheists!

I agree, but they arent exactly mainstream Judeo-Christian which I sort of assumed this person was attempting to get away from

Chris

[retro asian]

who is a pagan

Lol. I don't think Pagans are atheist.

[wysper]

Er, right. :wacko:

I believe there is another thread on which people debate these matters. But I dare not speak its name.

The first time I read about 'the thread that I dare not speak its name', I spent AGES trying to find out what it was LOL