Finding peace.

[madbikeboy]

You lot, my friends, are cheaper than therapy, and since I'm not a talker, this is my outlet that I'm forcing on you all.

I am sitting on the top floor of a new apartment building on Marine Parade,the beachfront road that demarc's Napier from the sea. The sea is gently curving in 6 foot swells, and I have found a moment of peace and shelter amidst the chaos that is my soul. The sound of Hotel California is rising into the air, the crashing surf giving it balance, and underscoring the Eagles in a gentle and continous bass note. Running away is sometimes the right thing to do.

I needed some time off the bike, and away from my home life, which isn't home to me at the moment. So, after packing, and then upacking, then repacking, and then finally after thinking about it some more, I decided to leave Scoot in the garage, and instead take the hated Silver Slug. I stood beside the bike and literally threw my gloves across the garage in frustration and angst; that was the moment that decided it for me.

I have had a few days of self imposed stand down from Scoot, I'm too angry to ride - and I've had a close call after not having my brain engaged. I am trying to detox from the rush, to sober out, to find some peace. Scoot is frenetic and angry, a perfect companion for me, and my uncontrolled right hand which has a mind of its own.

So, a road trip. Leaving work, I had all my bike baggage, and little else. I travelled from Auckland, south, foot buried deep into the carpet at any opportunity, slow car, stupid drivers, planning needed for overtakes. Zigging and zagging across the country, lapping Mt Egmont, Wanganui, Palmerston North and south, then back, finally discovering the road.

Robert Frost writes of the road less travelled, and if you're reading another of my crap posts, your favourite author probably isn't the guy who wrote "pull tab to open"

The road - it snakes and winds like a live animal from Taihape to Napier - a local stopped me and warned me against taking a shiny BMW, "40 odd kilometers of 160 are gravel, you'll get stuck". He was right, but fuck it, I was willing to risk losing the car in order to find adventure. I have bruises on the sump, while playing WRC following a guy in a Ferozza - sideways out of each corner. I can only imagine the fun of having a KTM along that stretch.

I've destroyed all four tires, they're delaminating, and the bumper will straighten out... "That shit'll buff straight out"...

So, I sit here, a quiet respite, watching the lightshow of sun fading, lovers walking hand in hand - peace for my soul, and for my mind, even for a few hours.

Would I have this on the Scoot - this I ponder. In a fit of honesty, I wouldn't have arrived in this random place - I'd have been setting new lap records.

In moment of silent lucidity, I realise the animal caged within is the fear and self loathing that needs to be banished for me to ride Scoot again...

Theres a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run to in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didnt realize it and you were scared
Its a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the tears
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly, you hear and see
This magic new dimension

I-will be watching over you
I-am gonna help you see it through
I-will protect you in the night
I-am smiling next to you...in silent lucidity

[jrandom]

So is it the bike your missus doesn't like, or do you just not get along?

Why are you even still with her? Episodes like this should be a bit of a red flag.

[Headbanger]

A full belly and a comfortable chair is all I need to find peace....

[mikeey01]

umm ok :scratch: I'm a little lost !
I'm not sure if it's the vino that's impaired my understanding or I am lacking that Auckland-itis thingie or I'm just plain stupid!

[98tls]

:argh:"harden up":whistle:Kidding eh,nice words.Sounds like your in a tough space at the moment,its called life i guess,no doubt you will get it sorted soon enough,good luck.

[madbikeboy]

So is it the bike your missus doesn't like, or do you just not get along?

Why are you even still with her? Episodes like this should be a bit of a red flag.

I think it's me that's the problem, not her. I don't have a lot of people left in my life, and the ones that are are sometimes overprotected by me...

EDIT - actually, that's a stupid answer, it is definitely me that's the problem; a round peg in square holes.

[EatOrBeEaten]

I used to do this, I always found having a bit of distance from the situation I found myself in helped me clear my head out and let me look at things a bit more rationally. I don't know you or your situation but it sounds like you have some hard choices to make. Give yourself some breathing room, sit down with a beer or something and write it all out. Usually by the end of the first page you'll have found your answer.

Sounds bollocks I know but it's an approach that worked for me when my situation became untenable. PM if you want someone neutral to talk to.

[FJRider]

Lucky barstard...

[beyond]

Deep stuff there bud.
Don't know where you are at right now but chill out, take some much needed rest, stop and think about all life has to offer or hasn't (whichever the case may be right now ) Sometimes it's just great to sit and do nothing and let your mind work things out. I've been known to do this for a few hours on end at times, especially after a few wines when I'm feeling mellow.

Chin up. You're buggered now anyway, biking gets in your blood :)

[Grahameeboy]

You can run but you cannot hide...is that it too deep?

[jrandom]

I think it's me that's the problem, not her. I don't have a lot of people left in my life, and the ones that are are sometimes overprotected by me...

That didn't make any sense whatsoever. Are you pissed?

Edit: OK, you edited it, better.

This thread's kinda self-obsessed, y'know. Makes you sound like a bit of a cock. "Waaa, my life is so hard, I drove my BMW to a seaside resort apartment and now I'm tingling with the awesomeness of my middle-class ennui."

Perhaps it's that cock factor, as much as or more than what you like to see as your 'overprotectiveness', that turns her off about you.

How about you just dump the woman if you're not into her, or get on with life and stop whinging on the internet like a spoiled little bitch if you are?

And if you don't feel good about riding your bike, sell it and buy a jetski. Jesus. Stop being such a girly-man.

[Grahameeboy]

That didn't make any sense whatsoever. Are you pissed?

Edit: OK, you edited it, better.

This thread's kinda self-obsessed, y'know. Makes you sound like a bit of a cock. "Waaa, my life is so hard, I drove my BMW to a seaside resort apartment and now I'm tingling with the awesomeness of my middle-class ennui."

Perhaps it's that cock factor, as much as or more than what you like to see as your 'overprotectiveness', that turns her off about you.

How about you just dump the woman if you're not into her, or get on with life and stop whinging on the internet like a spoiled little bitch if you are?

And if you don't feel good about riding your bike, sell it and buy a jetski. Jesus. Stop being such a girly-man.

Encouraging words....<_<

[madbikeboy]

And if you don't feel good about riding your bike, sell it and buy a jetski. Jesus. Stop being such a girly-man.

JRandom - jesus, you make me chuckle. Already blinged you.

[MsKABC]

That didn't make any sense whatsoever. Are you pissed?

Edit: OK, you edited it, better.

This thread's kinda self-obsessed, y'know. Makes you sound like a bit of a cock. "Waaa, my life is so hard, I drove my BMW to a seaside resort apartment and now I'm tingling with the awesomeness of my middle-class ennui."

Perhaps it's that cock factor, as much as or more than what you like to see as your 'overprotectiveness', that turns her off about you.

How about you just dump the woman if you're not into her, or get on with life and stop whinging on the internet like a spoiled little bitch if you are?

And if you don't feel good about riding your bike, sell it and buy a jetski. Jesus. Stop being such a girly-man.

:no: :weep: *sighs*

[jrandom]

JRandom - jesus, you make me chuckle.

Good. That's an improvement on maudlin circular thinking right there innit?

Now all you have to do is mix yourself another drink and decide whether or not to dump her.

Don't do it via txt, though. That's just uncivilised.

[jrandom]

:no: :weep: *sighs*

Ladies and gentlemen, here we see the genius (much as I hate to admit it) of MBB.

Not only does he get to have a good old wank in public, it has the side effect of pulling every female in range into his fan club.

Which, as I'm sure I don't need to point out, is a handy thing to be doing when you're about to come onto the market.

:laugh:

(I'm not doing my fan base any good here, am I...)

[MsKABC]

Not only does he get to have a good old wank in public, it has the side effect of pulling every female in range into his fan club.

Which, as I'm sure I don't need to point out, is a handy thing to be doing when you're about to come onto the market.


As you well know matey, I'm a happily married woman.


(I'm not doing my fan base any good here, am I...)

Well I'd take MBB over you any given Sunday, but then I am quite picky.

[jrandom]

As you well know matey, I'm a happily married woman.

I'm illustrating my point, not implying that you'd be involved personally.


Well I'd take MBB over you any given Sunday...

Quod erat motherfucking demonstrandum.

[madbikeboy]

Good. That's an improvement on maudlin circular thinking right there innit?

Now all you have to do is mix yourself another drink and decide whether or not to dump her.

Don't do it via txt, though. That's just uncivilised.

No, you have her and my roles the wrong way around.

Anything is better than maudlin circular thinking, hence my post...

[gijoe1313]

Well my fine be-leathered friend, sounds like you have come across that precipice in your life and with all the things going for you, others may not see what you have to gripe about.

But you know your wizened soul better and you have managed to find some kernel of self control to realise that scoot is not what you needed. You find solace in a quantum of travel, fanging your ride through parts unknown, taking yourself to another part of the country where you can find some answers to it all.

Even finding no answers is an answer in itself.

I'm glad you still have the cranial capacity to be able to cogitate your dissonance into a representation of sorts! I think you will find yourself on a sentimental journey, a paradise lost that you are searching for - in the best traditions of Wordsworth and Milton.

You are Gulliver, espying different perspectives from different scenarios, yet ending up faced with fundamental situations. What the hell am I doing? Why the hell am I doing it and where the hell to from here?

In betwixt this, you have responsibilities. Not to yourself, but to the people that depend on you having your head screwed on to make the right decisions to ensure that they have a roof over their heads, food on their plates and providing for their dependents.

I have no doubt you have already realised this, grappled with the fact that it's all down to you and you need to keep forging ahead for that.

As for your own headspace, I hope there is the measured calm and benevolent wry sense of the absurd and incongruous that will keep you keeping on! :msn-wink:

Enjoy the scenery, enjoy the change of pace, enjoy the fine food and enjoy looking back to riding scoot again in the right headspace! When you come back, come ride along with the Hornet Swarm and enjoy a more leisurely way of biking, resplendent with stupid stories, good company and mayhap a little bit of riding!

May the fair gods of riding grant you permission to ride scoot again and may Pandora's box be closed for you sometime soon!

[jrandom]

No, you have her and my roles the wrong way around.

Then pre-empt that motherfucker!

NHOf3s70w-c


Anything is better than maudlin circular thinking, hence my post...

Hence mine.

[98tls]

The problem here methinks is driving something as common as a belmont beemer and riding a piece of exotica.Mixed signals,even for the Nth Isle.

[madbikeboy]

As you well know matey, I'm a happily married woman.



Well I'd take MBB over you any given Sunday, but then I am quite picky.

Thanks for two things - it is possible to be happily married, and thanks for liking me over JRandom. Aside from his cynical wit and the big thing between his legs (if it's 1400cc, why is it so slow??), he is strangely attractive to the opposite sex...

[FJRider]

Ladies and gentlemen, here we see the genius (much as I hate to admit it) of MBB.

Not only does he get to have a good old wank in public, it has the side effect of pulling every female in range into his fan club.

Which, as I'm sure I don't need to point out, is a handy thing to be doing when you're about to come onto the market.

:laugh:

(I'm not doing my fan base any good here, am I...)

Its ok.. your fan base cant read yet...:niceone:

[madbikeboy]

The problem here methinks is driving something as common as a belmont beemer and riding a piece of exotica.Mixed signals,even for the Nth Isle.

The car is a grudge buy, I've spent more on my Yoshi bling than the Silver Slug is worth... The bike is the priority, right??!

[jrandom]

if it's 1400cc, why is it so slow??

Aircooled, plus soft valve and ignition timing, plus the bastard literally weighs a quarter ton.

Take her out for a few laps at the next MotoTT day if you like. It's good fun. Different feeling when the bike's the limitation rather than your own capability. Not that she can't go faster than I can ride her, of course, just that she can't go an order of magnitude faster, etc.

[EatOrBeEaten]

Ladies and gentlemen, here we see the genius (much as I hate to admit it) of MBB.

Not only does he get to have a good old wank in public, it has the side effect of pulling every female in range into his fan club.

Which, as I'm sure I don't need to point out, is a handy thing to be doing when you're about to come onto the market.

:laugh:

(I'm not doing my fan base any good here, am I...)
Yeah, 'cause we women love a project. :oi-grr:

I'm still finding my way round these boards, I'll call him a cunt next time if that's the accepted protocol :P

[98tls]

The car is a grudge buy, I've spent more on my Yoshi bling than the Silver Slug is worth... The bike is the priority, right??! Absolutly....................http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3N_rNz2oAGA

[jrandom]

*The Streets - Dry Your Eyes*

I'm listening to this on loop now, by the way.

Great song.

Watch that music video, folks.

[madbikeboy]

Well my fine be-leathered friend, sounds like you have come across that precipice in your life and with all the things going for you, others may not see what you have to gripe about.

But you know your wizened soul better and you have managed to find some kernel of self control to realise that scoot is not what you needed. You find solace in a quantum of travel, fanging your ride through parts unknown, taking yourself to another part of the country where you can find some answers to it all.

Even finding no answers is an answer in itself.



Life is so much about perspective and the value and values that you place on the things and the people around you. I have enough bucks to keep eating pies at each pitstop on our journeys, but little more; I still run out of cash midway through the month like everyone else after paying the bills. Would I swap in a heartbeat for the friends and lives whom I embrace but envy in their luck with realtionships and family? In a heartbeat. But life doesn't work like that, and the dice, like the bike, roll to their own accord.

The more I travel and know, the less I understand. Finding no answers is useful, but not the endpoint.

GIJoe - we're all escaping or moving towards something - like I said; perspective.

[vtec]

The fact that you enjoy JRandom's posts is a good sign as to why you are a round peg in a square hole, I love both of your guys posts, so what does that say about me.

[98tls]

The fact that you enjoy JRandom's posts is a good sign as to why you are a round peg in a square hole, I love both of your guys posts, so what does that say about me. Your a slut?:scratch:

[jrandom]

The fact that you enjoy JRandom's posts is a good sign as to why you are a round peg in a square hole, I love both of your guys posts, so what does that say about me.


<img src="http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2009/20090109.jpg"/>

[ManDownUnder]

...that was the moment that decided it for me...
Good call. The old saying - "If in doubt - don't" ... it's worth gold.


Why are you even still with her?
Love perhaps? Devotion? Dedication, committment, in good times and bad... all those things...


Episodes like this should be a bit of a red flag. Red flag for sure, but like the racing world - that doesn't mean end it all.

Why be in a hurry to get something that big... wrong?

[EatOrBeEaten]

Penny Arcade? How you doin'?

[FJRider]

Life is about prioritys, their value is up to you. If eating a pie at a pitstop is your priority.... so be it.
And your friends may want to swap theirs... for yours... think about it.
The answers ARE where you find them... keep looking.

[jrandom]

Why be in a hurry to get something that big... wrong?

I wouldn't be. This thread just needed some cold water, stat.


Penny Arcade?

Penny Arcade is awesome; and by awesome, I mean totally sweet.

[SARGE]

I'll call him a cunt next time if that's the accepted protocol :P

more than that .. its EXPECTED...

[madbikeboy]

The fact that you enjoy JRandom's posts is a good sign as to why you are a round peg in a square hole, I love both of your guys posts, so what does that say about me.

Yeah, buddy, when you going to drop in again and deplete my supply of orange juice?

It says something about intellect and willingness to think this shit out loud. Bikers, eh?

[EatOrBeEaten]

Penny Arcade is awesome; and by awesome, I mean totally sweet.

If you like cyanide and happiness as well then you are also of the awesome, in that field at least...

[madbikeboy]

Life is about prioritys, their value is up to you. If eating a pie at a pitstop is your priority.... so be it.
And your friends may want to swap theirs... for yours... think about it.
The answers ARE where you find them... keep looking.

Inherent in life, are these small and complex dilemmas. Kharma is a motherfucker.

Grass is always greener, be careful what you wish for etc etc etc... I'd bling you again, but I need to spread it around...

[MsKABC]

he is strangely attractive to the opposite sex...

Really?? Some things just have to be seen to be believed, I guess :shrug:

[EatOrBeEaten]

Yeah, buddy, when you going to drop in again and deplete my supply of orange juice?

It says something about intellect and willingness to think this shit out loud. Bikers, eh?
It says a lot for this forum that you did post it up. Hope you're feeling a bit better for having got it all down and being called a twat for your trouble... :yes:

[jrandom]

If you like cyanide and happiness as well then you are also of the awesome, in that field at least...

After a decade of refinement, my webcomic bookmark list is:

A Softer World
Achewood
C&H
Dilbert
Dinosaur Comics
PA
Questionable Content
Sinfest
UF
xkcd

And, look up limbimtimwim if you're a fan of the Perry Bible Fellowship. He has the Unicorn Power t-shirt. He wears it under his one-piece while racing. He is a strange and wonderful man.

[EatOrBeEaten]

I salute your refined taste, good sir.

Does such a garment help whilst racing I wonder?

[jrandom]

Does such a garment help whilst racing I wonder?

He wasn't wearing it recently when he rode his 999 into a ditch. The conclusion is inescapable.

[madbikeboy]

It says a lot for this forum that you did post it up. Hope you're feeling a bit better for having got it all down and being called a twat for your trouble... :yes:

Generally, people here in this community are supportive of stuff, and JR is actually a really good guy (as is his uber-cool partner StickChick). You'll find that for each Carver or Skiddy, there's dozens of very real, good people here. Even the ones who you might think are asses at first, once you decode the noise and see their concern, you come to like and respect them as well

And, part of the thing of sharing here is the shit being chucked as well.

[hospitalfood]

MBB.......
where ever you go, there you are.
i tend to agree with random that you are suffering from a case of "poor me".
a small amount of time away is only good if positive action comes from your reflection/meditation on self.

if you are anything like me, your head is a dangerous neighbourhood and you should not go there alone.

healthy thought does not always lead to healthy action, sometimes you just get self obsessed. however, healthy action leads to healthy thought.

[EatOrBeEaten]

He wasn't wearing it recently when he rode his 999 into a ditch. The conclusion is inescapable.

That sounds like Science to me.


Generally, people here in this community are supportive of stuff, and JR is actually a really good guy (as is his uber-cool partner StickChick). You'll find that for each Carver or Skiddy, there's dozens of very real, good people here. Even the ones who you might think are asses at first, once you decode the noise and see their concern, you come to like and respect them as well

And, part of the thing of sharing here is the shit being chucked as well.

Apologies for derailing your thread mate :) And I can see myself getting a stupidly high post count here....

[madbikeboy]

Really?? Some things just have to be seen to be believed, I guess :shrug:

I'm trying to be kind, he's sort of weird looking, and the hunchback is hardly noticable. His gf is hot, so she must think something of him... :woohoo:

[EatOrBeEaten]

MBB.......
where ever you go, there you are.
i tend to agree with random that you are suffering from a case of "poor me".
a small amount of time away is only good if positive action comes from your reflection/meditation on self.

if you are anything like me, your head is a dangerous neighbourhood and you should not go there alone.

healthy thought does not always lead to healthy action, sometimes you just get self obsessed. however, healthy action leads to healthy thought.
nothing wrong with a bit of self-absorption from time to time, as long as it DOES lead to a change in situation.

And a forum is as good a place as any to vent, beats the speaking clock at any rate...

[MsKABC]

I'm trying to be kind, he's sort of weird looking, and the hunchback is hardly noticable. His gf is hot, so she must think something of him... :woohoo:

I've seen pictures of both, and I concur ;)

[madbikeboy]

MBB.......
where ever you go, there you are.
i tend to agree with random that you are suffering from a case of "poor me".
a small amount of time away is only good if positive action comes from your reflection/meditation on self.

if you are anything like me, your head is a dangerous neighbourhood and you should not go there alone.

healthy thought does not always lead to healthy action, sometimes you just get self obsessed. however, healthy action leads to healthy thought.

Too many years of not getting into the healthy thought (or any thought for that matter) has resulted in this... Not self pity - I don't do the Oprah BS, it's more that I'm stuck and posting about it helps me work out my own twisted logic from the real truth... It's good getting unbiased feedback about shite...

[madbikeboy]

I've seen pictures of both, and I concur ;)

She also holds the honour of being the best pillion that I've ever ridden with. What she sees in him, I have no idea really.

[ManDownUnder]

I've seen pictures of both, and I concur ;)
Yeah but JR's a good guy - I don't agree with all his views in here, I'm sure he won't agree with mine. I'll still listen and I'm sure he's doing the same.


Too many years of not getting into the healthy thought (or any thought for that matter) has resulted in this...

What do you mean by that - I don't follow.

[hospitalfood]

Too many years of not getting into the healthy thought (or any thought for that matter) has resulted in this... Not self pity - I don't do the Oprah BS, it's more that I'm stuck and posting about it helps me work out my own twisted logic from the real truth... It's good getting unbiased feedback about shite...

i found it hard to understand exactly what the problem is ? some kind of relationship thing ?
anyway, hope you feel better soon.
a bit of time away does tend to help most of us, make it work if you can mate.

[jrandom]

I've seen pictures of both, and I concur ;)

It's kinda hard to avoid seeing pictures of me...

Oh, look, another one!

And, why yes, the aviator sunglasses do work as an excellent substitute for personality.

[hospitalfood]

[QUOTE=ManDownUnder;1896915]Yeah but JR's a good guy - I don't agree with all his views in here, I'm sure he won't agree with mine. I'll still listen and I'm sure he's doing the same.

not sure if i have met jrandom ( do you know random ) but i agree with most of his posts, or at least the ones i can understand.

[jrandom]

not sure if i have met jrandom

I think we met on an ATNR once. I remember talking to you at Shell Westgate.

[madbikeboy]

Oh, for the record (since I reread the new apartment comment who everyone else would read it) -

This is a new hotel doing an opening special, the rooms are $120, which is about $20 less than the flea ridden backpacker pit next door (which is full uo, hence the reason I picked this one...).

Plus the receptionist is hot.

[jrandom]

Right so anyways. Steps from here go:

1. Pick up phone, dial the woman.

2. "Hi. I've had enough of this bollocks. Have a nice life! I know I will."

3. Put phone down.

4. Have another drink.

5. Pop downstairs and tell the receptionist about it. You never know, eh?

:2thumbsup

[hospitalfood]

I think we met on an ATNR once. I remember talking to you at Shell Westgate.

i hope i was not to horrible
i really miss the ATNR

[hospitalfood]

Plus the receptionist is hot.

sounds good, get in there

[MsKABC]

Ladies and gentlemen, here we see the genius (much as I hate to admit it) of MBB.

Not only does he get to have a good old wank in public, it has the side effect of pulling every female in range into his fan club.


In fact, I was merely expressing my sadness at the fact that you are wired in such a way that you could be so cutting and unkind to another person. I was not in any way expressing sympathy for MBB or indicating that I wanted to sign up for his fan club.


not implying that you'd be involved personally.


I beg to differ, I think there was an implication.

[The Stranger]

JR is actually a really good guy (as is his uber-cool partner StickChick).

Is there something you want to share with us Jody?

[DMNTD]

Aircooled, plus soft valve and ignition timing, plus the bastard literally weighs a quarter ton...
Plus its pilot :eek:

[McJim]

Sometimes you need to wallow to get better. If you go around hardening the fuck up all the time you're really only doing it for others.

Self pity is great therapy. I've had 5 years of it now and I'm starting to feel better already :2thumbsup:

[Winston001]

Too many years of not getting into the healthy thought (or any thought for that matter) has resulted in this... Not self pity - I don't do the Oprah BS, it's more that I'm stuck and posting about it helps me work out my own twisted logic from the real truth... It's good getting unbiased feedback about shite...

Mmmmm...MBB sounds like you are in a dark place and have been sinking into it for a while. Regrettably the well-intentioned HTFU advice from JR and others is no answer. And the receptionist is no answer either - in fact a potential timebomb for your psyche. But judging from your initial post you have enough self-awareness to know that already.

Talking to other people as you are doing here is constructive. Big ups to you for honesty and courage. It also helps to talk to people face to face and its times like this your friends and family can be invaluable. Even better are non-judgemental strangers who have no sides to take. PM sent.

[jrandom]

Is there something you want to share with us Jody?

There was plenty last night, mostly along the lines of "who the fuck is this MBB character to carry on as though I'm his best mate when he's only met me twice", but I asked her in my nicest voice to stay out of the thread.

In general, I prefer that Jody rises above the grot on KB and leaves the bullshit-slinging to me. Fortunately, she doesn't mind humouring me in that area.

[jrandom]

In fact, I was merely expressing my sadness at the fact that you are wired in such a way that you could be so cutting and unkind to another person.

It's taken years of practice.


Plus its pilot :eek:

Goes without saying, gosh.

[vifferman]

There's more than a little cleverness on this post-teenage-angst thread. I'd like to contribute something meaningful to it, but that's a physical (mental) impossibility.
Good luck with your life, MBB.

[madbikeboy]

There was plenty last night, mostly along the lines of "who the fuck is this MBB character to carry on as though I'm his best mate when he's only met me twice", but I asked her in my nicest voice to stay out of the thread.

In general, I prefer that Jody rises above the grot on KB and leaves the bullshit-slinging to me. Fortunately, she doesn't mind humouring me in that area.

She's not my best mate - and I've only met her twice. I was giving you some stick via her. Don't read into it.

[The Stranger]

In general, I prefer that Jody rises above the grot on KB and leaves the bullshit-slinging to me. Fortunately, she doesn't mind humouring me in that area.

Rare qualities in a man.
An intelligent, eloquent and selfless arsehole.

[gijoe1313]

Well I hope MBB had a great brekkie today, gone for a drive around the local place and found a nice spot to get out, take a look and contemplate the great navel!

As for me, I mooched around a bit, cooked some french toast, tomatoes and creamed mushrooms and am now deciding to go back and have a catnap! :yawn:

btw MBB is the receptionist still hawt by the look of the morning? :msn-wink:

[EatOrBeEaten]

Well I hope MBB had a great brekkie today, gone for a drive around the local place and found a nice spot to get out, take a look and contemplate the great navel!


This. I hope things are making a bit more sense today MBB!

[007XX]

Thanks for two things - it is possible to be happily married, and thanks for liking me over JRandom. Aside from his cynical wit and the big thing between his legs (if it's 1400cc, why is it so slow??), he is strangely attractive to the opposite sex...

Ok, question #1: Yes it is, I can vouch for that...but it does take a few relationship ingredients which may be eluding you at the moment, and also an uncanny amount of luck in finding the right person.

As far as Jr being strangely attractive to the opposite sex, well...Jody's a saint in my books :whistle:


Its ok.. your fan base cant read yet...:niceone:

Oi!!! I so can to...



In general, I prefer that Jody rises above the grot on KB and leaves the bullshit-slinging to me. Fortunately, she doesn't mind humouring me in that area.

Not that she's incapable of it mind you...she got a quick tongue on her in public she does :2thumbsup

[007XX]

Well anyway...all BS aside:

MBB...fact is, taking time out to figure things out cannot be all bad.

Staying off the roads when you're peeved is an even better idea me thinks.

Bottom line to your problem: you need time and whatever method is best to sort it out in your own head and come to terms with a decision YOU will be happy to carry through.

Maudling over it for centuries is a sure fire way of getting yourself in deeper, so:

a- you're a blokey bloke and need a beer, or twelve, with a few good mates slurring away at the nonsense of it all for a while until your stomach excavates last year's Burrito.
Headache the next day, but crystal clarity on the problem can be a pleasant side effect of such an approach of depression treatment.

b- You're a little too deep and too raw for that sort of treatment, and just need to offload your mental miasma on someone's couch, while they listen patiently and ask you about your relationship with your father.
Can be a costly exercise apparently...you do walk away with interesting drugs though :wacko:

Anyhoo...happy in between: give us a yell mate. Always happy to listen and try to help a friend. Downside: I don't do drugs or drinking, sorry :p

[Hans]

You lot, my friends, are cheaper than therapy, and since I'm not a talker, this is my outlet that I'm forcing on you all.

I am sitting on the top floor of a new apartment building on Marine Parade,the beachfront road that demarc's Napier from the sea. The sea is gently curving in 6 foot swells, and I have found a moment of peace and shelter amidst the chaos that is my soul. The sound of Hotel California is rising into the air, the crashing surf giving it balance, and underscoring the Eagles in a gentle and continous bass note. Running away is sometimes the right thing to do.

I needed some time off the bike, and away from my home life, which isn't home to me at the moment. So, after packing, and then upacking, then repacking, and then finally after thinking about it some more, I decided to leave Scoot in the garage, and instead take the hated Silver Slug. I stood beside the bike and literally threw my gloves across the garage in frustration and angst; that was the moment that decided it for me.

I have had a few days of self imposed stand down from Scoot, I'm too angry to ride - and I've had a close call after not having my brain engaged. I am trying to detox from the rush, to sober out, to find some peace. Scoot is frenetic and angry, a perfect companion for me, and my uncontrolled right hand which has a mind of its own.

So, a road trip. Leaving work, I had all my bike baggage, and little else. I travelled from Auckland, south, foot buried deep into the carpet at any opportunity, slow car, stupid drivers, planning needed for overtakes. Zigging and zagging across the country, lapping Mt Egmont, Wanganui, Palmerston North and south, then back, finally discovering the road.

Robert Frost writes of the road less travelled, and if you're reading another of my crap posts, your favourite author probably isn't the guy who wrote "pull tab to open"

The road - it snakes and winds like a live animal from Taihape to Napier - a local stopped me and warned me against taking a shiny BMW, "40 odd kilometers of 160 are gravel, you'll get stuck". He was right, but fuck it, I was willing to risk losing the car in order to find adventure. I have bruises on the sump, while playing WRC following a guy in a Ferozza - sideways out of each corner. I can only imagine the fun of having a KTM along that stretch.

I've destroyed all four tires, they're delaminating, and the bumper will straighten out... "That shit'll buff straight out"...

So, I sit here, a quiet respite, watching the lightshow of sun fading, lovers walking hand in hand - peace for my soul, and for my mind, even for a few hours.

Would I have this on the Scoot - this I ponder. In a fit of honesty, I wouldn't have arrived in this random place - I'd have been setting new lap records.

In moment of silent lucidity, I realise the animal caged within is the fear and self loathing that needs to be banished for me to ride Scoot again...

Theres a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run to in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didnt realize it and you were scared
Its a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the tears
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly, you hear and see
This magic new dimension

I-will be watching over you
I-am gonna help you see it through
I-will protect you in the night
I-am smiling next to you...in silent lucidity

I know brother, been there myself - and we came out the other side and are still together. You need to decide what you want. If you still want her, which I'm guessing you do, put as much effort as you can into putting the whole thing into order. You may have to become a "talking man" for that to happen. Should you still fail, you will come out a winner regardless, because you'll know you did your best. Then you can start to move on. If you don't want her-move on. The big question for yourself is whether you want her enough to really work on it hard - it can hurt like hell and it can take a long time to fix. Don't spend too long sulking, think hard, than act. Best of luck, and if you're ever down this way, there's always coffee and a spare bed. Just pm.

[Hans]

p.s. There's no such thing as a "happy" marriage. Only a drooling cretin is capable of being happy ALL THE TIME. A thought for the missus perhaps?

[DarkLord]

You are obviously a heavy thinker. Due to your depth of thought you will not find peace as easy to obtain as others with more simple thought patterns (and I do not mean that disrespectfully in any way).

Having time off two wheels is probably the best thing for you. It is so easy to just put on a helmet, hop in the saddle and blow all of your problems away with wind in your face and a throttle in your grip connected to a thundering engine. This is magnificent, however when you get off the bike those things are still there that drove you in the first place.

IMHO, take some time to sit and truly explore who you really are. Ask yourself intense and pointed questions. Surround yourself with those who think on a similar level. Instead of running from your own truth, take some time to really sit and think through things. You can't run forever - for it will always catch up with you in the end. Journaling is very helpful as well - just sitting and venting in writing about whatever the hell you want. It may not always be pretty, readable, or discernible but hey it's REAL.

Cheers.

[Hans]

True about not riding the bike. When I was in a similar position to you, I didn't touch it either. Try maintaining concentration with all that stuff in your head...

[Lucy]

Oh, for the record (since I reread the new apartment comment who everyone else would read it) -

This is a new hotel doing an opening special, the rooms are $120, which is about $20 less than the flea ridden backpacker pit next door (which is full uo, hence the reason I picked this one...).

Plus the receptionist is hot.

Flippin 'eck. MY flea ridden backpacker pit is only $20 to stay in. And has free booze.

[McDuck]

It was grate to meet you this morining MBB and have some brekkey, and hope to see you at a track day soon :)

[carver]

Generally, people here in this community are supportive of stuff, and JR is actually a really good guy (as is his uber-cool partner StickChick). You'll find that for each Carver or Skiddy, there's dozens of very real, good people here. Even the ones who you might think are asses at first, once you decode the noise and see their concern, you come to like and respect them as well

And, part of the thing of sharing here is the shit being chucked as well.

i think you will find your face in my lap whether you like it or not

[Katman]

I've just stabbed sharpened pencils into my eyeballs as punishment for having sat here reading the last six pages. (But I figured if Carver could read it, so should I).

Sometimes I think it would be nice to bare my sole on an internet forum for all the world to see. But then I realise - Fuck it, I'm Katman. My piss turns to icecubes before it even gets to hit the toilet floor.





(I trust you'll stop in for a yak on your way home Mike. I'm incapable of reading any more of your threads until I get these pencils removed).

(And just remember - too much self indulgent waffle makes your breasts grow).

[Swoop]

Sometimes I think it would be nice to bare my sole on an internet forum for all the world to see.
What size??

[EatOrBeEaten]

What size??
http://www.dalyanseafood.com/images/Dover-Sole-03.jpg

[Katman]

What size??

About this size.

:moon:

[Swoop]

About this size.

:moon:
You didn't do well in biology when you were at school then?
Confusion about the foot and the arse could explain a few things.

[MsKABC]

My piss turns to icecubes before it even gets to hit the toilet floor.


Have you not learned to aim properly yet mate?

[<Rhino>]

Travel to a third world contry either just for a loook or for some voluntry work etc etc.... in a word it puts things in perspective back here, helps you prioratise yourself and worry about the things that need worrying about the rest you just sort and stash.

[Katman]

Have you not learned to aim properly yet mate?

Have you not learned yet?

Everyone's a Katman target.

:msn-wink:

[Slyer]

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Motors/Motorbikes/Motorbikes/Sports/auction-198616158.htm
Peace...

[jrandom]

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Motors/Motorbikes/Motorbikes/Sports/auction-198616158.htm
Peace...

:no:

I guess some folks is just slow learners.

[EatOrBeEaten]

:( Dude, I hope you're happy with the decision you're making and that it is your decision.

Hope you're managing to sort stuff out.

[Mikkel]

:no:

I guess some folks is just slow learners.

Or maybe he just realised what he really need is that KTM and some of those gravel roads...

Weltsmertz - it is indeed the food of the poet.

[R6_kid]

It's not like he's giving his children up for adoption. He's selling his 'crack addiction' becuase after raving at Carver for being an insolent twat that was a danger to himself and the rest of society, MBB ended up making a critical mistake that nearly cost him his life.

[MsKABC]

It's not like he's giving his children up for adoption. He's selling his 'crack addiction' becuase after raving at Carver for being an insolent twat that was a danger to himself and the rest of society, MBB ended up making a critical mistake that nearly cost him his life.

+1

There are some on here who WOULD give up their children before giving up their bikes. It's not like he's getting rid of ALL his bikes anyway. We do not have to live by the rules of others, thank christ.

Edit: Well ok, we sorta do have to live by the rules of others of course, but not by any laid down by our peers on internet forums.

[martybabe]

+1

There are some on here who WOULD give up their children before giving up their bikes. It's not like he's getting rid of ALL his bikes anyway. We do not have to live by the rules of others, thank christ.

Well said. Has anyone heard from MBB ?

MBB if your still out there reading but not posting, all the best mate, hope you sort your shit out. I'm on the end of the PM machine if ya need a chat. :apint:

[R6_kid]

I think he should go to outward bound and do the 21 day 'masters' course (masters being 25yo+).

Possibly the best $3.5k I ever spent. You'll learn a lot about yourself and come out better for it at the end.