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Swoop
20th January 2009, 20:02
I have an idea to lower teenage pregnancy rates in NZ.
Replace the current sex education in our schools with porn.
It would mean the girls would accept anal as the norm and the boys would know to pull out and come on the girl's tits.


I bought a packet of cigarettes today. It had a picture of a corpse on a mortuary slab on the pack.
What the hell kind of marketing strategy is that? I reckon they'd sell a lot more if they used a picture of a guy enjoying a smoke with a bikini-clad babe on each arm...


Obama spoke of "Change" while running as president but has been criticised for bringing so many former Bill Clinton cronies into his administration. It is rumoured that Obama may even bring Monica Lewinsky back into the White House. He is just not sure which position he would prefer her in.


I can't see the big deal with calling a Pakistani a Paki.
It’s just the same as calling an Australian an Aussie, a Scotsman a Scot or a Frenchman a Cunt.


Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?
Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.


The doctor has prescribed me anti-hypochondria tablets. I'm worried about the possible side effects.


A bad workman blames his fools.
EDIT: *tools
Stupid keyboard.


Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"I've got the big C," he said.
"What, cancer?"
"No, dyslexia."


I don't know why all the Americans are so excited about having a black president, Zimbabwe has had one for years and he's fucking shit.


Barack Obama finds himself standing at the Pearly Gates.
Angel: STOP!! You may not enter until you name one good deed you have done on earth.
Obama: Well....I was the first black president of the United States of America.
Angel: REALLY!?!?! When did this happen?
Obama: About 12 seconds ago.


A black president means the White House will be called the Black House?
That's ridiculous! Surely it would be called Pimp Obama's Mother Fuckin' Pussy Crib.

Rodney007
20th January 2009, 20:08
hehe there awesome! :msn-wink:

Swoop
21st January 2009, 13:28
Be honest,

How many of you out there are only watching the inauguration to see if he gets shot?

gatch
21st January 2009, 21:53
bahaha thats first thing i asked at work this morn, did he make it ?

Swoop
22nd January 2009, 09:55
Barack Obama finds himself standing at the Pearly Gates.
Angel: STOP!! You may not enter until you name one good deed you have done on earth.
Obama: Well....I was the first black president of the United States of America.
Angel: REALLY!?!?! When did this happen?
Obama: About 12 hours ago.


Just finished watching Obama's Inauguration, and was suprised to see hardly any white people there.
But then again they were probably all working.


Has anyone else noticed the similarities between Barrack Obama being elected president of the USA and the film Blazing Saddles?

Makes you think doesn't it?
Rock Ridge all over again.


Barack Obama won the election on a platform of "change."
I say, "what change?" because what's so new about a black guy coming in to clean up a mess a white man created?


One of the criticisms levelled at Obama in the run up to him being elected was that he is not a real American. When you look at him, you can see what they mean... after all, he's slim.


Obama is already planning for changes now that he has taken office.
His first act will be to change the US national anthem to the theme from Shaft.

mashman
23rd January 2009, 12:19
A black president means the White House will be called the Black House?
That's ridiculous! Surely it would be called Pimp Obama's Mother Fuckin' Pussy Crib.

thanks for that, had me in tears

gixxer-king
7th February 2009, 16:01
Just finished watching Obama's Inauguration, and was suprised to see hardly any white people there.
But then again they were probably all working.

Barack Obama won the election on a platform of "change."
I say, "what change?" because what's so new about a black guy coming in to clean up a mess a white man created?

Obama is already planning for changes now that he has taken office.
His first act will be to change the US national anthem to the theme from Shaft.

Love all of these, favourite was the shaft national anthem!! humming along now.