Swoop
20th October 2008, 11:35
I recently bought a bottle of brown sauce which carried the warning 'Do not use if seal is broken'.
As soon as I opened it, the seal broke, immediately rendering it unusable. I was wondering, how many other innocent shoppers, especially pensioners have fallen for this evil scam?
Isn't it weird that the majority of people taking a shit in a public toilet have a permanent marker on them?
I have a dream: a dream that, one day, chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.
An Amish boy and his father rode into town to visit a new shopping mall. All that they saw had them reeling in amazement, but the one thing that really caught their eye was a pair of shiny ‘walls’ that could slide open and close effortlessly shut again. The boy looked at his father and asked, ‘What is this thing, father?’ Having never seen an elevator before, the old man responded: ‘Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don’t know what it is.’ At that moment, a fat lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady moved between them into a small room. The walls then closed, and the boy and his father watched in awe as a series of semi-circular numbers above the walls lit up sequentially. They continued to stare as the numbers lit in reverse order. Finally the walls opened again and a gorgeous, voluptuous blonde woman stepped out. Without taking his eyes off the young woman, the father said quietly: ‘Son, go and get your mother"
I was in the pub last night when the barman asked me, “How come I never see you in here with Pete any more?”
I asked him, “Would you drink with a bloke who's a liar, always late, borrows money he never pays back, always tries to squirm out of his round, jealous of everything you have, and when your back is turned he tries to fuck your wife and daughter?”
“Bloody hell! No!” he said, somewhat flabbergasted.
“Well, neither would Pete,” I added.
As soon as I opened it, the seal broke, immediately rendering it unusable. I was wondering, how many other innocent shoppers, especially pensioners have fallen for this evil scam?
Isn't it weird that the majority of people taking a shit in a public toilet have a permanent marker on them?
I have a dream: a dream that, one day, chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.
An Amish boy and his father rode into town to visit a new shopping mall. All that they saw had them reeling in amazement, but the one thing that really caught their eye was a pair of shiny ‘walls’ that could slide open and close effortlessly shut again. The boy looked at his father and asked, ‘What is this thing, father?’ Having never seen an elevator before, the old man responded: ‘Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don’t know what it is.’ At that moment, a fat lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady moved between them into a small room. The walls then closed, and the boy and his father watched in awe as a series of semi-circular numbers above the walls lit up sequentially. They continued to stare as the numbers lit in reverse order. Finally the walls opened again and a gorgeous, voluptuous blonde woman stepped out. Without taking his eyes off the young woman, the father said quietly: ‘Son, go and get your mother"
I was in the pub last night when the barman asked me, “How come I never see you in here with Pete any more?”
I asked him, “Would you drink with a bloke who's a liar, always late, borrows money he never pays back, always tries to squirm out of his round, jealous of everything you have, and when your back is turned he tries to fuck your wife and daughter?”
“Bloody hell! No!” he said, somewhat flabbergasted.
“Well, neither would Pete,” I added.