How to make a chic REALLY SOUR in 4 easy steps

[Gareth123]

Step 1. Go to a revue bar where the music is quite loud and you can't really hear what people are saying.
Step 2. Admire the performers for their skill and flexibility.
Step 3. When the girl comes around to collect tips after her show and ask "Are you enjoying your night?" Make sure you don't hear her properly because of the loud music.
Step 4. Take a wild guess at what she was saying and reply "Umm nope, no not really." Make sure you don't give her a tip!

Guaranteed to work every time. I think she wanted to slap me.

[The Baron]

So you are single then..

[ital916]

Step 1. Go to a revue bar where the music is quite loud and you can't really hear what people are saying.
Step 2. Admire the performers for their skill and flexibility.
Step 3. When the girl comes around to collect tips after her show and ask "Are you enjoying your night?" Make sure you don't hear her properly because of the loud music.
Step 4. Take a wild guess at what she was saying and reply "Umm nope, no not really." Make sure you don't give her a tip!

Guaranteed to work every time. I think she wanted to slap me.

One time at this strip place the lovely lass rocked up onto the table our group was at, cat walks on all fours over to us, and the gives us a spread eagle view hoping for a tip. Being respectful of her hard work I got out a tip, What got me was she was stark naked so I genuinely ask *holding a note* "I dont know where to stick it".

Her expression then sly smile afterwards was either a "you're funny" smile or "you're an inbred fucktard" smile.:laugh:

Come on guys, share an interesting story funny/humiliating or just plain stupid involving the opposite sex.

[DMNTD]

Come on guys, share an interesting story funny/humiliating or just plain stupid involving the opposite sex.

LOL...ok...I married a stripper from Firecats. Needless to say I gave up drinking for 6 years after :pinch:

[Kickaha]

Step 1. Go to a revue bar where the music is quite loud and you can't really hear what people are saying.
Step 2. Admire the performers for their skill and flexibility.
Step 3. When the girl comes around to collect tips after her show and ask "Are you enjoying your night?" Make sure you don't hear her properly because of the loud music.
Step 4. Take a wild guess at what she was saying and reply "Umm nope, no not really." Make sure you don't give her a tip!

Guaranteed to work every time. I think she wanted to slap me.


Amatuer, it normally only takes me one:whistle:

[SARGE]

So you are single then..

and a virgin by the sounds of it

http://nretest.mynre.com/images/realtygeek/geek.jpg

[Gareth123]

LOL LOL LOL I'm neither single or a virgin. Just didn't care for getting all excited over some chick who I'm not allowed to take home with me. We did buy my mate a private lap dance for his 21st though. He came back with a big stupid grin on his face:drool:

[MIXONE]

Obviously it wasn't the Atami.The only tip they want there is when you undo your fly!

[Gareth123]

Obviously it wasn't the Atami.The only tip they want there is when you undo your fly!

And when you do that I bet they charge you an arm and a leg

[sidecar bob]

I was at a strip club in Melbourne after the F1 race with the tour group we went over with.
Watching the shows & stuff & one of the girls comes over to me & says, "Do you wanna come out the back & play with with me?" I said "why what have you got out the back"? she says, "Only the most fun youve ever had", I yell to my mates, HEY GUYS!!! youre not gonna believe this!! They have radio controlled cars out the back!!!!!
I got a slap.

[sidecar bob]

Another time, another club one of the performers rocks up & asks me if id like to take her out the back, & i say, "look at me, do you really think a guy this gorgeous needs to pay for sex". Another slap.

[MIXONE]

And when you do that I bet they charge you an arm and a leg

I don't know about charge but some of them could fit an arm and a leg!!

[Gareth123]

I don't know about charge but some of them could fit an arm and a leg!!

:clap::clap:

[scrivy]

Another time, another club one of the performers rocks up & asks me if id like to take her out the back, & i say, "look at me, do you really think a guy this gorgeous needs to pay for sex". Another slap.

Oh the modesty!!! :yes:

[MIXONE]

Oh the modesty!!! :yes:

It's usually pretty dark in those clubs though so you can get away with outrageous statements like that.

[Gareth123]

I went out with a chic when I was about 16 or 17. I was really sweet on her but she liked to fool around a bit with my naive emotions and string me along. I got my own back though, i slept with her younger, slightly less attractive(but still hot) sister.

That didn't go down well. Apparently I caused a rift beween the 2 sisters. Pity I couldn't get them both together in bed at once, that would've stopped one of them from feeling left out. I'm only thinking about thier feelings, my penis had nothing to do with it...honest

[Gareth123]

One New Years Eve I was out at Loburn, Got smashed and hooked up with this "slightly" older women. Back to my tent to continue the fun and games...lucky my mate stopped us, she had a husband and 2 kids about 10 meters away in another tent:Oops:

[slopster]

Asking a stripper "shouldn't you be at home looking after your kids" normally gets a good reaction

[Spuds1234]

One New Years Eve I was out at Loburn, Got smashed and hooked up with this "slightly" older women. Back to my tent to continue the fun and games...lucky my mate stopped us, she had a husband and 2 kids about 10 meters away in another tent:Oops:

Do tell the rest of the story. What did she look like? Something close to a horse?

[ynot slow]

25 yrs ago,the old man took a tour of people to Hawaii and Los Angles,they boys went to a strip club,the stripper stuck a cigar up herself at the end,one guy ended up with said cigar and promptly lit it up.

Another guy went to the 82 world cup in Spain,went to a strip club and still doesn't eat bananas.

A few guys shouted the apprentice at their work a root at Haweras famous brothel about 10yrs ago for his 20th,we were at a bar prior and he was slightly pissed,after the members draw and a feed they went to a few more bars,about 10.30 or so they went upstairs to see who he would shag,the boys at work had paid for him earlier.His first words after looking at the girls was what time is the next shift start.

[CB ARGH]

and a virgin by the sounds of it

http://nretest.mynre.com/images/realtygeek/geek.jpg

Hey it's my brother

[Gareth123]

Do tell the rest of the story. What did she look like? Something close to a horse?

No I won't tell the rest of the story. You already know it. What goes on tour stays on tour. Your lucky I told you!

[The Stranger]

i say, "look at me, do you really think a guy this gorgeous needs to pay for sex". Another slap.

Oh, you pay. One way or another.

[Finn]

I took my sales guy and financial controller to San Fransisco about 10 years back. My FC was very conservative as most accountant types are. Took him to the O'Farrell St Theatre which is one of America's oldest and most notorious adult-entertainment establishments owned originally by the Mitchell Brothers. One shot the other...

Anyway, there was this stage show on and this girl came out with rubber gloves and KY. I had an idea of what was about to take place so sitting behind my FC, I pointed at him and held up a $50 note. Basically, he had to fist her.

He's never been the same since.

[Gareth123]

I took my sales guy and financial controller to San Fransisco about 10 years back. My FC was very conservative as most accountant types are. Took him to the O'Farrell St Theatre which is one of America's oldest and most notorious adult-entertainment establishments owned originally by the Mitchell Brothers. One shot the other...

Anyway, there was this stage show on and this girl came out with rubber gloves and KY. I had an idea of what was about to take place so sitting behind my FC, I pointed at him and held up a $50 note. Basically, he had to fist her.

He's never been the same since.

I'd love to have a go at that!

[Finn]

I'd love to have a go at that!

Er, okay. I still have his number if you want it.

[Bren]

best way to make a chick REALLY SOUR, and this is a sure-fire method...






MARRY HER!

[MIXONE]

I'd love to have a go at that!

Try the Atami on a Thursday then.They don't have strip shows they have sex shows.If the sight of a full size road cone not being used for what it was designed sounds like you it'll be heaven.

[MIXONE]

best way to make a chick REALLY SOUR, and this is a sure-fire method...






MARRY HER!

It's the wedding cake I tells ya!

[Max Preload]

Oh, you pay. One way or another.

Like Kenny says... cut out the middle man - find someone you hate and buy them a house!

[EatOrBeEaten]

Oh, you pay. One way or another.
Your bitterness saddens me :(

Only time I've ever been to a strip club I was so drunk that when the stunning young lady came and sat next to me, I thought she was on break and fancied a chat :doh: she didn't seem that impressed when I started talking about the weekend's telly....

[jrandom]

Your bitterness saddens me :(

It's not 'bitterness', sugarplum. It's just experience.


I thought she was on break and fancied a chat...

I generally assume she's just there to take my empty glass away. Unfortunately, the ones that I would actually like to sit in my lap generally are there to take my empty glass away.

[EatOrBeEaten]

It's not 'bitterness', sugarplum. It's just experience.


So why was I the one left $2k out of pocket that time then? I think I'm playing the wrong stereotype :(


I generally assume she's just there to take my empty glass away. Unfortunately, the ones that I would actually like to sit in my lap generally are there to take my empty glass away.

Her near-nekkidness was a sign to me, even in my advanced state of insobriety, that she wasn't one for lifting the empties. Still, got a lap dance, and haven't bothered again. It's like quitting smoking and paying someone to smoke a packet for you and blow the smoke in your face.

[jrandom]

So why was I the one left $2k out of pocket that time then? I think I'm playing the wrong stereotype :(

Multiply that out-of-pocket number by 100, and you'll get a more typical amount that chaps like myself and The Stranger have had to deal with in such circumstances.


Still, got a lap dance, and haven't bothered again. It's like quitting smoking and paying someone to smoke a packet for you and blow the smoke in your face.

Does that mean you're gay, then?

My apologies if I should already have picked that up. All the rampantly heterosexual female motorcyclists on this forum are screwing with my stereotypes.

[Goblin]

Old mate of mine went to some strip club in Dorkland some years ago, pissed off his trolly he sat at the front and went to sleep sitting up. One stripper thought she'd get him going with her grand finale leg spread right in front of him. He looked up, one eye open and muttered "Looks like a fuckin elephant ear!"

:laugh: Priceless!

[The Stranger]

Your bitterness saddens me :(



I was actually referring to Sidecar Bob's medical expenses.

Would be a shame if there was no cost wouldn't it?
If a relationship ends without an emotional toll/cost what was the commitment in the first place?

[jrandom]

emotional toll/cost

Dunno about you, dude, but I'd happily trade a broken heart or two for all my money back!

[gammaguy]

Try the Atami on a Thursday then.They don't have strip shows they have sex shows.If the sight of a full size road cone not being used for what it was designed sounds like you it'll be heaven.

dont be silly,the girls there use them to show the truck where to park......

[AllanB]

I'd have to say the clubs were a shit of a lot better years ago when they kept their pants & bra on and if you were lucky they popped a nipple at ya.

A lot more classy. A gal should keep a bit of mystery about her.

Not like the sad slappers I've read about above :wacko:

You gotta wonder where it is all going - what will they be doing for 'entertainment' in 20 years time?

[skidMark]

One time at this strip place the lovely lass rocked up onto the table our group was at, cat walks on all fours over to us, and the gives us a spread eagle view hoping for a tip. Being respectful of her hard work I got out a tip, What got me was she was stark naked so I genuinely ask *holding a note* "I dont know where to stick it".

Her expression then sly smile afterwards was either a "you're funny" smile or "you're an inbred fucktard" smile.:laugh:

Come on guys, share an interesting story funny/humiliating or just plain stupid involving the opposite sex.


Dude...

You with any women you say "i don't know where to stick it"

[MIXONE]

dont be silly,the girls there use them to show the truck where to park......

They can fit a truck up there as well?:shit:

[EatOrBeEaten]

They can fit a truck up there as well?:shit:
The dark right arm truckers have? That's not a tan...

[EatOrBeEaten]

Multiply that out-of-pocket number by 100, and you'll get a more typical amount that chaps like myself and The Stranger have had to deal with in such circumstances.


I must be smart then, I bailed before the numbers increased exponentially. :first:


Does that mean you're gay, then?

My apologies if I should already have picked that up. All the rampantly heterosexual female motorcyclists on this forum are screwing with my stereotypes.

Gay? Nah, just not that fussy...

[retro asian]

A friend of a friend of a friend story...

This dude goes to Hamilton for the weekend and hooks up with a typical local girl in town.
They go back to the motel room.
Guy goes for a leak, when he gets back she's already naked lying on the bed.

Its at this moment when she says "Chuck it in bro"

:pinch:

[gatch]

A friend of a friend of a friend story...

Its at this moment when she says "Chuck it in bro"

:pinch:

Gold ! A similar moment was revealed at my mates 21st a while back, he was practicing making babies with his girl when she whispers in his ear "you like that big boy", enthusiastic in his reply he is.. "YEAH BRO !" :buggerd:

Me outside Uno's in Palmy, a previous acquaintance takes my attention by force and gives me a squeeze that means only one thing, "naa your not really doing it for me girl", that got me a slap.. :Pokey:

[EatOrBeEaten]

Gold ! A similar moment was revealed at my mates 21st a while back, he was practicing making babies with his girl when she whispers in his ear "you like that big boy", enthusiastic in his reply he is.. "YEAH BRO !" :buggerd:


*wipes away patriotic tear*

I love this country.

[Badger8]

Gay? Nah, just not that fussy...

:rofl: Just when i think i've heard it all...

Mate was down at the strips one afternoon (yes, the sun was still out), fancied a private lap dance. in his drunken stupor "Hang on love... i just needa go take a slash first..." He didnt come back for a while, someone went to go check on him... and found him passed out in the urinal...
All class that boy...