Fatt Max
9th February 2009, 19:06
It’s been a while since I’ve had any fun and games on the road, even got to thinking that the biker gremlins were picking on someone else....until today.....
5.00pm, Remmers Road, minding my own business taking it a bit steady as the drizzle was...well..drizzling I suppose....
Anyroad upwards, car pulls alongside me with 4 spotty faced teens in it. Big guy driving, little bottle blond girlie in the passenger seat and two real ‘Emo’ types in the back looking bored and against it man.
Driver leans out the window and starts taking the piss, usual stuff relating to my belly, L plate, parentage etc. I just laugh and carry on riding, nodding my head and waving as you do.
I turn into a quiet little side street I use to cut out the lights at Ladies Mile, stop at the junction and see in my mirrors that the car has followed me. It pulls up alongside and I see the passenger girlie pull out a water pistol, lean out the window and fire two squirts at me, one hits my lid, the other goes way over my head.
“Oh ha f*****g ha” I say but the car cannot move because we are both now at a junction waiting for a large removal truck to get out of the way. I kick the stand, hop off, walk over to the car and grab the pistol off the little twat and begin to squirt merrily away at them and their emo friends in the back....
...and they all go absolutely fecking mental. Passenger girl is screaming her head off, the driver is giving it “stop dude, that’s real bad”, emo girl has gone apeshit and dropped her ciggie down the front of emo boy who leaps out of the car and tries to catch the offending toke before it drops into his shorts and burns his gonads, I’m in total shock and do a Bruce Willis Movie (Armageddon......Armegeddon Outta Here).
Shove the pistol into the top of my boot and whip crack away down Ladies Mile finally pulling up just before the main drag at Ellerlise.
Then it hit me....”Clucking Bell, what the frick was in that Pistol".
I take it out, have a look, squirt the last tiny drop onto a bit of paper in case it was frikken acid or something, then I take a wiff.....and would you Adam n Eve it, the water pistol was in fact a Piss Pistol.....yes, the dirty little bastards has filled it with willy water and thought it would be fun to go squirting it at someone...trouble is, they all got their own back I suppose.
I biff the pistol in a rubbish bin outside the Eagles league ground, it didnt arf stink. Reckon mumsy had packed them extra aspragus sammies before they went a cruising tonite.
Got home, missus gave the lid a good rub with some anti piss chemical, gloves now in the wash and boots hosed down and out.
The car is grey Toyota station wagon, plate starts with a DFE I think. If you should see them, don’t forget to stop and take the piss.
Reckon I’ll drink some piss now....:eek:
5.00pm, Remmers Road, minding my own business taking it a bit steady as the drizzle was...well..drizzling I suppose....
Anyroad upwards, car pulls alongside me with 4 spotty faced teens in it. Big guy driving, little bottle blond girlie in the passenger seat and two real ‘Emo’ types in the back looking bored and against it man.
Driver leans out the window and starts taking the piss, usual stuff relating to my belly, L plate, parentage etc. I just laugh and carry on riding, nodding my head and waving as you do.
I turn into a quiet little side street I use to cut out the lights at Ladies Mile, stop at the junction and see in my mirrors that the car has followed me. It pulls up alongside and I see the passenger girlie pull out a water pistol, lean out the window and fire two squirts at me, one hits my lid, the other goes way over my head.
“Oh ha f*****g ha” I say but the car cannot move because we are both now at a junction waiting for a large removal truck to get out of the way. I kick the stand, hop off, walk over to the car and grab the pistol off the little twat and begin to squirt merrily away at them and their emo friends in the back....
...and they all go absolutely fecking mental. Passenger girl is screaming her head off, the driver is giving it “stop dude, that’s real bad”, emo girl has gone apeshit and dropped her ciggie down the front of emo boy who leaps out of the car and tries to catch the offending toke before it drops into his shorts and burns his gonads, I’m in total shock and do a Bruce Willis Movie (Armageddon......Armegeddon Outta Here).
Shove the pistol into the top of my boot and whip crack away down Ladies Mile finally pulling up just before the main drag at Ellerlise.
Then it hit me....”Clucking Bell, what the frick was in that Pistol".
I take it out, have a look, squirt the last tiny drop onto a bit of paper in case it was frikken acid or something, then I take a wiff.....and would you Adam n Eve it, the water pistol was in fact a Piss Pistol.....yes, the dirty little bastards has filled it with willy water and thought it would be fun to go squirting it at someone...trouble is, they all got their own back I suppose.
I biff the pistol in a rubbish bin outside the Eagles league ground, it didnt arf stink. Reckon mumsy had packed them extra aspragus sammies before they went a cruising tonite.
Got home, missus gave the lid a good rub with some anti piss chemical, gloves now in the wash and boots hosed down and out.
The car is grey Toyota station wagon, plate starts with a DFE I think. If you should see them, don’t forget to stop and take the piss.
Reckon I’ll drink some piss now....:eek: