Animal damage?

[Mom]

This subject came up last week, and a few laughs were had, so I thought I would see just how many "the dog ate my homework" stories there are out there.

Goats are popular eaters of anything. I used to have a white goat, who happily lived on the verge of our road. Two of our neighbours also had white goats (we lived on a very quiet rural road about 500 metres long). I used to tell people to take the first driveway on the right after the 2nd goat. Anyhow I digress.

My goat (Snowy) was the middle one of the 3. Max lived closest to our letterbox at the end of the road, and Harry a bit further past Snowy. Max was a tyrant and used to eat anything. One day I sent the kids up the the letterbox to clear the mail, warning them to make sure they did not get too close to Max (he once ate a plastic power ranger ring off a kids finger who stopped to pet him).

The kids came back with much hilarity and giggling, always a thing to worry about. "Guess what Mom?" "Max ate the mail" Oh, HA HA HA, what did I tell you lot? They present me with a bunch of soggy, goat saliva covered paper mache type stuff. Best part of this, it was not bills the poxy goat ate, but a packet of specially ordered and sourced seeds for a rare and delicate crop I wanted to trail. Cost a bomb and were goat fodder in the end :laugh:

[Grahameeboy]

I like goats......:devil2:

[MIXONE]

I had a rare and delicate crop growing at the back of my garden and my goat got off it's chain bypassed the tomatoes etc and ate the lot.:mad:
Once recaptured he hid inside his drum and bleated happily for some hours.

[Lilly2w]

I had a crazy dog that ate ladies items of intimate apparel, and my bike seat :( He was a bit fucked up. I found him a new home.

[Finn]

I had a post coital moment once where the condom disappeared. Was quite certain the lass took a direct line to the shower and didn't recall her picking it up on the way. My last thought was how lucky I was to finally meet a girl that cleans up after herself but I wasn't so lucky.

The story now moves to the park where my dog was running around with his mates and decides it's time for a dump. I noticed he was in the Chrysler Crossfire position for some time and then he really looked uncomfortable. Sure enough, there was my condom, half in or half out, depends on how you look at life.

The rest in a little embarrassing. For me and the dog.

[MsKABC]

My gorgeous Boxer, may he RIP, once ate the upholstery on the passenger seat in my Dad's truck AND set off the fire extinguisher inside the cab. Not long after that, he towed a large trampoline around a house and got into the guinea pig hutch and ate the poor occupant. This was someone who Dad was doing some work for, but curiously enough they were quite grateful because the kids had tired of the poor wee thing and weren't looking after it properly, leaving the parents the task.

[klingon]

I had a crazy dog that ate ladies items of intimate apparel, and my bike seat :( He was a bit fucked up. I found him a new home.

My elderly parents used to run a backpackers' hostel (owned by my brother). They also took care of my brother's dobermann.

Dad (in his 80s) was forever returning items of intimate apparel to the female hostel guests after retrieving them from the dog. Being a true gentleman, Dad couldn't return their lacy undies all gooby straight from the dog's mouth, so he always washed them first.

Very often, my dignified elderly Dad would be found hand-washing tiny lacy undergarments in the bathroom, then returning them to their rightful owners. I don't know who was more embarrassed, Dad or the girls.

The dog showed no sign of embarrassment.

[Patrick]

I had a post coital moment once where the condom disappeared. Was quite certain the lass took a direct line to the shower and didn't recall her picking it up on the way. My last thought was how lucky I was to finally meet a girl that cleans up after herself but I wasn't so lucky.

The story now moves to the park where my dog was running around with his mates and decides it's time for a dump. I noticed he was in the Chrysler Crossfire position for some time and then he really looked uncomfortable. Sure enough, there was my condom, half in or half out, depends on how you look at life.

The rest in a little embarrassing. For me and the dog.

I bet the dog didn't "give a shit..."

As for you trying to explain "how did that condom get up my dogs arse..." Now that is priceless.....

[Stirts]

I had a post coital moment once where the condom disappeared. Was quite certain the lass took a direct line to the shower and didn't recall her picking it up on the way. My last thought was how lucky I was to finally meet a girl that cleans up after herself but I wasn't so lucky.

The story now moves to the park where my dog was running around with his mates and decides it's time for a dump. I noticed he was in the Chrysler Crossfire position for some time and then he really looked uncomfortable. Sure enough, there was my condom, half in or half out, depends on how you look at life.

The rest in a little embarrassing. For me and the dog.

:killingme

How ingenious...... using a condom as a pooper sccoper!!!

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/picture.php?albumid=150&pictureid=18726

[Patrick]

I had a post coital moment once where the condom disappeared. Was quite certain that lassie took a direct line to the shower and didn't recall her picking it up on the way. My last thought was how lucky I was to finally meet a girl that cleans up after herself but I wasn't so lucky.

The story now moves to the park where my lassie was running around with his mates and decides it's time for a dump. I noticed he was in the Chrysler Crossfire position for some time and then he really looked uncomfortable. Sure enough, there was my condom, half in or half out, depends on how you look at life.

The rest in a little embarrassing. For me and the dog.

Couldn't help meself....:laugh:

[piston broke]

1000 words.
60kg 2 year old, just imagine the damage,through a gib wall and into the kitchen.

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/picture.php?albumid=1210&pictureid=18746

[MSTRS]

I like goats......:devil2:

...in a curry. Delicious.

[piston broke]

...in a curry. Delicious.

true that.
so long as it ain't no old billy

[FJRider]

I like goats......:devil2:

Need Garlic...:innocent:

[MSTRS]

true that.
so long as it ain't no old billy

If you could get close enough, like kaanga piro, you might enjoy it.:eek5:

[Mom]

...in a curry. Delicious.


true that.
so long as it ain't no old billy


Need Garlic...:innocent:

Yummiest goat curry I ever ate nearly killed me (well my bum anyway).

It was :drool: and I ate heaps, but holy shit did it bite hard the next morning :sunny:

[Trudes]

My dad used to love our cats, so much so that one day he was hugging one (Dark Pussy) when she shat herself all over mum's recipe books:laugh:
We also had a rooster called Lawrence who we'd raised from a little chick, he was a confused little fello who used to try and root ice cream containers :yeah:

[MSTRS]

Sign of a good one, Anne. Bidet's gooooood??

[Mom]

My dad used to love our cats, so much so that one day he was hugging one (Dark Pussy) when she shat herself all over mum's recipe books:laugh:
We also had a rooster called Lawrence who we'd raised from a little chick, he was a confused little fello who used to try and root ice cream containers :yeah:

That actually explains a lot Trudes :love:


Sign of a good one, Anne. Bidet's gooooood??

If only I had one *sigh*

[FJRider]

My dad used to love our cats, so much so that one day he was hugging one (Dark Pussy) when she shat herself all over mum's recipe books:laugh:


I like cats... but I've found them a bit stringy. The dark pussys are good eating... ;)

[Mom]

Check your policies, animal damage is usually excluded.

We had a Lab we adopted from the SPCA, who was shit scared of thunder, fireworks, sheep and her shadow to name but a few things. One Guy Fawkes we had a neighbourhood bonfire extravaganza at ours, being a weekend it was always going top be a goodie :yes: I took pity on Tess and brought her inside for the night, locked her in the laundry. She was an outside dog for the obvious reasons, and because if we let her inside she ate the girls Barbie dolls :nono:

Anyway, a good time was had by all, apart from Tess as we discovered the next morning. Holy destroyed laundries Batman! This dog had excavated the floor by the back door, through the vinyl, and halfway throught the boards to boot. She had also obviously gone about as mental as a terrified dog could and shit, actually I cant talk about it to this day. Suffice to say she destroyed my laundry.

Insurance declined my original claim, but I got them in the end.

What a mess, poor old Tess!

[Trudes]

I used to let my cockateils roam free in a room in the house, but they shat everywhere and pecked and nibbled the crap out of pictures, wires, hair ties, curtains etc, also had chinchillas that nibbled on speaker wires and cables, books and anything else they could lay their little teeth into. My horse used to chew my bridle if I left it out, eat the roses off my dad's bushes as he walked by, drank out of coke cans and ate saveloys! Bloody animals eh!

[peasea]

Yummiest goat curry I ever ate nearly killed me (well my bum anyway).

It was :drool: and I ate heaps, but holy shit did it bite hard the next morning :sunny:


How could it bite hard if you'd turned it into a curry?
Oh yes, of course, silly me. Been there myself. (Just spray and walk away.....)

I used to have a goat, his name was Morgan. A bit of an attitude but I like that in an animal (and a woman, actually, hmm, what's the diff?). Man, could that thing eat.....he cleaned up all the blackberry at one place, then we moved, he cleaned that up too (after being impounded by the Wgtn City Council for time after eating the neighbours laundry, knickers and all!) and then he got shipped to Paraparaumu to my olds' place. We thought he'd be fine to the end of his days as there was that much scrub to devour, but no. He cleaned that place up too. He did actually die there but not of starvation; vet reckoned he'd just done his dash. He was one funny goat, I reckoned he listened when you talked to him and if he didn't like what he heard, he'd butt your arse. Got the old man too. Funny goat.....