What would you WANT TO DO for a living?

[Conquiztador]

The thread re "what do you do" made me think. We all had dreams and plans. And so we ended up where life took us.

Today we have an idea (?) re what we would have wanted to do.

Me, well I have a passion for custom bikes (even run my own small shop for some years) and that is where I would love to be. But in NZ it is not a go. U need to do other stuff. 4x4, maintenance, sell crap. So I gave up and do it as a hobby.

Also be a band promotor would be cool.

[AllanB]

A 44 I still don't know - if I knew I could do some study etc and do it! Still I carry on in a happy state where I am.

A condom product tester would be OK.............

[smoky]

A condom product tester would be OK.............

Nah - I don't fancy wanking with a condom on

[smoky]

The thread re "what do you do" made me think. We all had dreams and plans. And so we ended up where life took us.

Today we have an idea (?) re what we would have wanted to do.

I wanted to be a rock star - but I play like shyte
I wanted to drive a rally car - but I didn't have enough money
as I got older
I wanted to be a preacher man - but god gave up on me
I wanted to own my own car yard - that would be a silly thing to do in todays market
Now - I want to work for Unicef or Oxfam at some stage

[AllanB]

Nah - I don't fancy wanking with a condom on


Ah - I kind of pictured rows of attractive women in nothing but stockings and a clip-board waiting to write a full, in-depth :2thumbsup report.


This is probably why I am still in the same job.........

[Trudes]

A beer taste tester and lounge chair tester. Maybe this (http://noahhunt.org/WentworthMiller/wentworth_miller_122xyz.jpg) guys sex slave.... so many options so little luck!!

[vifferman]

I'd like to be Big Dave.

[Big Dave]

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[98tls]

Made me think of this.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRRKqhdotVIthat aside can i be a Viking?plenty of time to fish.

[marty]

jet pilot when i grow up.


oh that's right - can't do both :)

[scumdog]

Me?
Kill dumb-fucks and criminals (and the odd politician) to make NZ a better place.

[Pussy]

I'd quite like to be a train driver when I grow up

[piston broke]

i'd wanna be part of teamnz
and race a coupla volvo round the world races

[Maha]

I wanna be Mia. :rockon:

[Big Dave]

Boy do I miss my knees.

[Dooly]

Helicopter door gunner.:done:

[scumdog]

Helicopter door gunner.:done:

You and I could team up eh!!!

[Madness]

A mobile Gynaecologist, on a scooter. I could moonlight doing Pizza's.

[slofox]

I always wanted to be a retired loafer....so far so good - now to retire...

[Her_C4]

A beer taste tester and lounge chair tester. Maybe this (http://noahhunt.org/WentworthMiller/wentworth_miller_122xyz.jpg) guys sex slave.... so many options so little luck!!

OOOooooo good skills.


A mobile Gynaecologist, on a scooter.

You wouldn't be the first or the last man that thought of that one!!:laugh:

I always wanted to be one of Peter Sinclairs go go girls, then I thought I would like to be a hairdresser and have my own salon, then next I wanted to be a librarian (?! ha ha ha), and then finally (before reality set in), I wanted to be a journalist.

Reality (and my dad) hit me pretttttttty hard :lol::laugh:

[Pussy]

When do people decide they want to be a proctologist?
No-one I went to school with had that as a career aspiration :blink:

[Trudes]

A mobile Gynaecologist, on a scooter. I could moonlight doing Pizza's.

You know what they say about painters/decorators' houses always needing a lick of paint eh? Looking at whowhos all day and delivering pizzas.....:eek:

[98tls]

An afterthought,could i please operate a mamogram (spelling) machine for big busted women please,no worrys helping them to a comfortable fit.

[Hitcher]

My perfect job would be being well paid to travel to exotic and remote locations whilst riding various motorcycles for purposes comparative, written up and suitably illustrated for relevant journals and for my memoirs.

[Conquiztador]

When do people decide they want to be a proctologist?
No-one I went to school with had that as a career aspiration :blink:

No idea. I can't even find the word in my dictionaries! Must be something only the highly educated get in to...

[Mom]

When do people decide they want to be a proctologist?
No-one I went to school with had that as a career aspiration :blink:

Back in the olden days I trained as a nurse. We were hospital trained back then, you know, hands on learn as you go training. We all had to sign a paper the first day of our course to say the Hospital Board did not guarantee a job at the end of our training. There were 18 girls in my intake. A couple dropped out during the course so we were 16 looking for jobs, 3 of us got them.

I got the permanent night shift job in an infected wounds ward :first: another got an any ward, any shift position :second: and heaven help her the other got the primo hours 8am-4:30pm Monday to Friday :third: Only snag was what she was doing...

Running the Colonic Clinic of course :yes: Giving enemas 8 hours a day 5 days a week :shit:

I see your proctocolgist and raise you a colonic clinic enema giver 40 hours a week :done:

[EatOrBeEaten]

astronaut, for definite.


There's a tiny, tiny part of me that will never be satisfied with my life because I never made it into space... :(

[AllanB]

Helicopter door gunner.:done:



So glad you did not say rear gunner. :buggerd:

[Hitcher]

Must be something only the highly educated get in to...

I understand that it's an absolute arse of a job.

[James Deuce]

Play Drums

[rainman]

Farmer. But I do like being married. And my back would reject me after 2 weeks...

[Conquiztador]

astronaut, for definite.


There's a tiny, tiny part of me that will never be satisfied with my life because I never made it into space... :(

And that is something I soo fully relate to! All the worlds that are out there and nobody from here has been to them. If only...

[Tank]

For a living - I'd like to be 'independently wealthy' and not need to have to work for a living.

HOWEVER - I would like to be in that position so I could dedicate myself to working full-time for a cause where I could make a difference for people.

[Number One]

An afterthought,could i please operate a mamogram (spelling) machine for big busted women please,no worrys helping them to a comfortable fit.

There is no comfort to be found in a mammogram sir...well not unless you have an xray machine in the tip of your tongue anyway! Imagine putting your nuts in a vice - that's pretty much what it's like :pinch:


No idea. I can't even find the word in my dictionaries! Must be something only the highly educated get in to...

Oh for sure!!! ONLY the highly educated get into arse :lol:

Me? I had designs on being Wonder Woman and then Shera Princess of Power and then I wanted to be Gem cos she is truly truly truly outrageous!

And then when I grew up some more I wanted to be a vet or animal handler. AND then when I got all slutty as a teenager and one of the ex students came to visit in her mercedes I wanted to be just like her...a high priced hooker. NOW I just want to sleep in again some time :buggerd: Cos I do love my job and what I do.

[98tls]

There is no comfort to be found in a mammogram sir...well not unless you have an xray machine in the tip of your tongue anyway! Imagine putting your nuts in a vice - that's pretty much what it's like :pinch: No worrys madam,just thought if they were big enough and didnt fit i could whip them off gut them and use them as saddlebags.

[Mental Trousers]

A Superbike racing porn star whose dearly departed wife (chocked on something she swallowed) owned a brewery.

[98tls]

Chuck one in here for a mate (a few of us having a couple of quiets).A bike journo so when not working he could chuckle away knowing people were stupid enough to go shelling out hard earned based on nothing but his opinion which amazingly enough they took as gospel because someone put it in a magazine,or as Jamie just said "i wannabie as resilient as one of the many late model Ducati riders that turn up at rallys still full of shit after being shown the way home through the good bits on jappas 10 years older".Last year at the Magpie such a thing briefly shared our leaner at the bar,he got to the character point as they do i said "you mean bevel drive" he said "na mate Ducati".Sad really.

[Conquiztador]

Chuck one in here for a mate (a few of us having a couple of quiets).A bike journo so when not working he could chuckle away knowing people were stupid enough to go shelling out hard earned based on nothing but his opinion which amazingly enough they took as gospel because someone put it in a magazine,or as Jamie just said "i wannabie as resilient as one of the many late model Ducati riders that turn up at rallys still full of shit after being shown the way home through the good bits on jappas 10 years older".

Used to do some of that stuff. The thing is that you have to actually know what you are on about, as if not, then U soon be found out. And then U in the dole cue.

[98tls]

Used to do some of that stuff. The thing is that you have to actually know what you are on about, as if not, then U soon be found out. And then U in the dole cue.
No doubt but surely at the end of the day its nothing but opinion based upon nothing but the writers own experiance....go figure,it cant be anything else.Never once have i read a bike test that said "no matter my opinion is purely that,i cant ride the thing but put someone onboard that can ride and no doubt this thing rocks i just dont have the ability to do it".Imagine the response from helmet providers "err can you send that back it doesnt suit our image,or at least remove the tinted visor".

[TLDV8]

I think if i hadn't been a boiley i would have been a black and white minstrel.

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[davebullet]

Design and build loudspeakers

[portokiwi]

Originally Posted by Dooly
Helicopter door gunner.

You and I could team up eh!!!
:Punk: like this. This is how we did it on the MI8:Punk:

[Crisis management]

HOWEVER - I would like to be in that position so I could dedicate myself to working full-time for a cause where I could make a difference for people.

Assuming you're not taking the piss...... (now why did that thought occur I wonder?)...I'm with this sentiment.

And, seeing as this recession is a good time to reflect on my life, I'm actually considering joining the plods. Procrastination may yet win out, but the navel gazing review is going well so far.

[portokiwi]

I would like to start up the ZORB in Portugal.
That would be fun

[pzkpfw]

Decided years ago if I won Lotto I'd become a postie.

Reasonably "important" job but really not so big on the stress.

Enforced physical exercise.

And would leave me plenty of time to do other stuff, that wasn't work related.

(If a job was "fun" it wouldn't have to pay you.)

[FROSTY]

back when Starship enterprise was playing same time as the moon landings I wanted to be captain Kirk. Couldn't tell which was real and which was fiction.

[ynot slow]

Said it before and again,quality controller for a brazillian waxing company(only for female checking smoothness,etc)

[Finn]

How is NOTHING for an answer?

[Big Dave]

How is NOTHING for an answer?

Typical :-P

[Dave Lobster]

I'd happily work for the SPCA killing people that are cruel to animals.

I'd do it for free, if it was legal.

I'd also like to go hunting poachers that kill elephants (etc).

[Bend-it]

For a living - I'd like to be 'independently wealthy' and not need to have to work for a living.

HOWEVER - I would like to be in that position so I could dedicate myself to working full-time for a cause where I could make a difference for people.

+1... Pity the jobs that mean something don't pay well eh...

[MsKABC]

I'd like to be a singer :D Rock or pop :yes:

[cc rider]

I'd like to have a different bone in my hand every day....... an archaeologist, really!! :rolleyes:

[JacksColdSweat]

The thread re "what do you do" made me think. We all had dreams and plans. And so we ended up where life took us.



I would be a travel documentary film maker

It's probably cliche'd on this forum but I would love to do what Claudio Von Planta did for Ewan and Charlie in Long Way Round. Director, Camera and hoon extreme.

Can't imagine a better way to spend day after day after day...

[JacksColdSweat]

Helicopter door gunner.:done:

"See the blind man
Shooting at the world
Bullets flying...
wait for the ricochet..."

[MidnightMike]

....work for a M/C Magazine where I can incorporate my passion for both bikes and photography. Writing some reviews too.

That would be something that would have me walking around with a stupid smile on my face each day. :D

Either that or getting into racing. Supermotards or Supersport.

That would be wicked, but I really need to get through Poly first before I really have the money and time to put into that. I think I would start in pro-twins first.

-Mike.

[HenryDorsetCase]

back when Starship enterprise was playing same time as the moon landings I wanted to be captain Kirk. Couldn't tell which was real and which was fiction.

EVERYONE knows the moon landings were fiction. And that the well-known documentary series "Star Trek" is real.

[EJK]

Dream job + the nessesary skills?

Hmmmm I don't mind working a deskjob wearing business clothing with good salary. Oh wait, that's totally do-able.

Unrealistically thinking, I would like to be a Porsche Test Driver if the nessesary skill comes with the job. Wouldn't mind working at this place.

[MidnightMike]

Dream job + the nessesary skills?

Hmmmm I don't mind working a deskjob wearing business clothing with good salary. Oh wait, that's totally do-able.

Unrealistically thinking, I would like to be a Porsche Test Driver if the nessesary skill comes with the job. Wouldn't mind working at this place.

Thats the new Museum, Isn't it?

[SpankMe]

Shall I say, or is it too obvious. :bleh:

[Trudes]

Would it be "SpankMe the porn star"?

[EJK]

Thats the new Museum, Isn't it?

Yea that's the Porsche Test track in Leipzig. It's a factory, a restaurant, a test track (On road and off road), and a full museum.

Link: http://www.porsche-leipzig.com/default.aspx

It is on my bucket list to take a tour of the factory + Have a lunch + a Co-Pilot/ Test drive on a 911.

EUR €255 Per person... Hmmm That doesn't seem impossible.


A tour would be majestic, however working there for a living would be........ fuck... *lost words*

[PrincessBandit]

There is no comfort to be found in a mammogram sir...well not unless you have an xray machine in the tip of your tongue anyway! Imagine putting your nuts in a vice - that's pretty much what it's like :pinch:


Oh pleeeeeeeease tell me it's not!! I have my first this weekend now you've got me packing myself over it!!

Oh, and as for what job would I love to do? Exactly the one I have - not many other options for being able to work only 3 1/2 days per week, 2 weeks holiday after every 10 worked, seeing mostly lovely high school students (most of the ones in the music dept are) and knowing that the few "Rogers"* I have to endure [you must have watched Open Season II to understand that] I only have to suffer for 25 mins each week!!

*blardy hell, I've only just re-read that and realised how appalling it sounds :eek:

[Switch]

My dream job would be to work on a TV show like TopGear or something similar. Pissing around with mates having a good time, test driving (or riding) and making a show would be fantastic.

But a realistic job, Is to become a full time advanced paramedic with St John.

[cc rider]

My dream job would be to work on a TV show like TopGear or something similar. Pissing around with mates having a good time, test driving (or riding) and making a show would be fantastic.

But a realistic job, Is to become a full time advanced paramedic with St John.

I can see you incorporating both jobs together :doctor:

[SpankMe]

Would it be "SpankMe the porn star"?

Just be a little bit more specific. :msn-wink:

[gatch]

Dream job ?

The dude that pushes the button for controlled building demolitions, that ! ladies and gentle-men would rub my buddha..

Or pilot an SR-71, a mother fuckin, missile out-dragging, titanium, mach 3.5 extension of my penis !!!! Ya !

[cc rider]

Dream job ?

The dude that pushes the button for controlled building demolitions, that ! ladies and gentle-men would rub my buddha..

Or pilot an SR-71, a mother fuckin, missile out-dragging, titanium, mach 3.5 extension of my penis !!!! Ya !

going for a little profile extention :msn-wink:
love to see your portfolio :D

[Trudes]

Just be a little bit more specific. :msn-wink:

OK, Asian pornstar fluffer (Is someone who warms up the female pornstars still called a fluffer? Anyway.....not something I want to Google)

[Hitcher]

OK, Asian pornstar fluffer (Is someone who warms up the female pornstars still called a fluffer? Anyway.....not something I want to Google)

Wrong gender, Trudes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluffer

[Trudes]

Wrong gender, Trudes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluffer

But not something you're afraid to Google obviously Mr Hitcher ;)
So what do you call someone that "warms up" female porn stars? A luber? A num numer? :confused:

[SpankMe]

OK, Asian pornstar fluffer (Is someone who warms up the female pornstars still called a fluffer? Anyway.....not something I want to Google)

Just send me to Japan to work in their porn industry. :D

[jtzzr]

Just send me to Japan to work in their porn industry. :D

The Japanese do porn?Where have I been hiding?

Konichibra

Oh I always wanted to be an outboard technician.

[McJim]

So what do you call someone that "warms up" female porn stars? A luber? A num numer? :confused:

Very happy :yes:

[gatch]

going for a little profile extention :msn-wink:
love to see your portfolio :D

ask and you shall recieve..

[peasea]

The thread re "what do you do" made me think. We all had dreams and plans. And so we ended up where life took us.

Today we have an idea (?) re what we would have wanted to do.

Me, well I have a passion for custom bikes (even run my own small shop for some years) and that is where I would love to be. But in NZ it is not a go. U need to do other stuff. 4x4, maintenance, sell crap. So I gave up and do it as a hobby.

Also be a band promotor would be cool.

I'd like to be a full-time witch burner.

Howard Broad, please step forward.

Graham Thomas, please step forward.

Where's my fucking matchbox gone?

[puddy]

I'd like to have a different bone in my hand every day.......
I was hoping that you weren't going to stop there.:shifty:

[peasea]

ask and you shall recieve..

Can I please have one million dollars?

[cc rider]

ask and you shall recieve..

a look at personal assets first, followed by a demonstration of job performance & hands on guidance for a worker with initiative :spanking:

[gatch]

Can I please have one million dollars?

Yes, but as a test, you have to get it from one of my many bank vaults, in fact ! You can have 2 million if you save me a trip to town and bring me 10 mil :shifty:

[cc rider]

I was hoping that you weren't going to stop there.:shifty:

it's all about the bones in your men not the men in your bones....
I've always liked playing in mud, everything you find is so slippery & hard to handle :blink::blink:

[peasea]

Yes, but as a test, you have to get it from one of my many bank vaults, in fact ! You can have 2 million if you save me a trip to town and bring me 10 mil :shifty:


Don't tell me...this a 50/50 thing, right? 50% says I get the cash and 50% says I'm total moron. Hmmmm, fuck, I loooove cash, but hey; am I moron? Give me five....oh shit, my nose is bleeding, I guess that means that question '2' is answered. Where did that fist come from anyway? (Which is three questions, so the middle ground is looking fairly secure.)

Increased pressure is brought about by yet another question: How do you get 'middle ground' in a 50/50 deal?

Mind numbing shit, right? And I bet you'd like to know where I got it.

[GurlRacer]

I wanted to be a sniper.
Shooting a possum's balls off at age 8 I may have been good at it even... but then I realised you had to do a fitness test and screw that :lol:
Then I wanted to be a fighter pilot.
Then I wanted to be a motorsport journo.
Then I wanted to climb inside volcano's.

(I'm studying for the last two at the moment!)

[Conquiztador]

Just send me to Japan to work in their porn industry. :D

Or you could start a new industry right here: Maori porn!

[SpankMe]

Or you could start a new industry right here: Maori porn!

eeeeeewww :puke:

[dipshit]

PE teacher at a girls high school. :drool:

[Dooly]

What about Shower Room Manager for the NZ netball team.:drool:

[peasea]

What about Shower Room Manager for the NZ netball team.:drool:

Is that different from working for Sealords in the filleting shed?

[Cheshire Cat]

psychologist.the psychodynamic approach sounds like fun :D

[Conquiztador]

eeeeeewww :puke:

Now now... I can think of a few maori actresses I could watch.

[SpankMe]

Now now... I can think of a few maori actresses I could watch.

pics, or GTFO.

[Katman]

I must be boring as fuck.

I'm doing what I want to do for a living.

[nallac]

what!. you get paid to come on KB and annoy the fuck outa people?....

I want your job......

[Oakie]

I would like to have a business taking glamour/risque photos of ordinary women at their request. Not models ... not porn.

[scumdog]

I would like to have a business taking glamour/risque photos of ordinary women at their request. Not models ... not porn.

Sort of an 'up-skirts' thing maybe??;)

[trainingwheels]

Im 28 now and have been looking for that perfect job for that past ten years since high school and i finailly found it......(dad wanted me to be an Army boy, just like him and his father, and his father, and so on for 5 generations).... so im studying to be a "Quantity Surveyor & Construction Manager" .........(Fuck the army!!!!!!!!!!! I was talking to him after he was laid off from Fisher and Pikel and theArmy want him back so they can send him to Afganistain to look for MINES!!!))):shit:

[fire eyes]

Mine is simple.

After all the bullshits ideas Iv ever thought about .. I want to be a Nurse. After working in a Mental Institution as a Carer (thats what I do now) .. Id quite like to go into Mental Health High Needs/High Risk Units as a Registered Nurse.

I just have to work my arse off now to save so I can study.

[EatOrBeEaten]

Having spent the last hour and a half of my Saturday night marking (promised my students I'd have it done for Monday), I'd like a job where I could drink that bottle of Oyster Bay that's chilling in the fridge instead of spending my free time marking answers about woodlice...