Need a man no more!

[Number One]

...for opening jars that is....

Tupperware - the very word makes some ladies go weak at the knees. They cackle in groups about 'doing their pantries over' in the stuff and marvel at the dohickeys and whatsits that this company makes. Lifetime guarantee - really is just that! BLah blah blah

Me - I am not really one to sing it's praises - mostly because I can go get something from the warewhare for 1/4 of the price (if that) and when it shits itself I can replace it just as easy...simple! Basically yeah - I'm a tight arse when it comes to plastic ware.

Those that know me know that I also HATE Tupperware parties. I can't stand the bollocky demonstration ladies - there is this one I have seen three times now and she gets right on my tits. She expects you to sit and listen silently to her LOOOOOONGG and well rehearsed speil and will twitter on all fricken night about how useful all the plastic gadgetry is and how she uses it to....whatever?! :yawn: She is a regular Martha Stewart this woman and every time she sees me at one of her parties I just know she is thinking here we go again :rolleyes:. I really do go JUST for the food, wine, socialising with my friends and that's it! Keep your plastic doo dads to yourself woman!

ANYWAY - the last T Party I went to they played this game at the beginning and we ended up competing for tiny pieces of gadgetry - I have to admit that I couldn't give a toss about what I won UNTIL.......

I spied this square of orange plasticky kind of stuff. I was actually curious enough to ask and well that was it! I was suddenly engaged...I had to have this orange piece of plasticky thing!

SO what is it? It's called a need a man no more and it is used for opening jars and stuff. Even though I look tough I have a weak grip in my hands especially since hurting my thumb crashing at buckets. I find opening fresh jars of jam etc almost impossible.

WELL NOT ANY MORE!

It has been atleast 6 months since I had to get Sully to open something for me...I shit you not ladies!!! If you also struggle with this and are tired of having to put your pride aside by coming off all soft and pathetic needing hubby (or sons) to open jars and the like for you...get thee to a Tupperware lady NOW.

They can't cost much?! SURELY! I mean it's a piece of rubbery plasticky stuff - it has little teeth in it that help grip the surface of whatever you are working to open.

Anyway - I am hereby publicly admitting that I couldn't be without this particular little Tupperware do dad. :Punk:

There! Trudes and Nasty - I said it :wari:

[Her_C4]

...

Anyway - I am hereby publicly admitting that I couldn't be without this particular little Tupperware do dad. :Punk:

There! Trudes and Nasty - I said it :wari:

:lol: :lol: what was the bet?

Good stuff #1, I have to admit that has been nigh on 25 years since I last recall attending a Tupperware party. I'm ok with that.:yes:

[Number One]

has been nigh on 25 years since I last recall attending a Tupperware party. I'm ok with that.:yes:
THAT'S IT!!! I will be sure to ensure you are invited to the next one that I am invited to! If I have to go to another so do you sweet cheeks ;)

[Her_C4]

THAT'S IT!!! I will be sure to ensure you are invited to the next one that I am invited to! If I have to go to another so do you sweet cheeks ;)

ROTFL... good luck with THAT one:sunny::laugh:

[Nasty]

:lol: :lol: what was the bet?

Good stuff #1, I have to admit that has been nigh on 25 years since I last recall attending a Tupperware party. I'm ok with that.:yes:

Next one is booked for May .. tupperware one week and fuckaware the next .... :jerry:

[Number One]

Next one is booked for May .. tupperware one week and fuckaware the next .... :jerry:
I'll see you at the latter re the first hmmmm will there be soft cheeses and chocolates? :dodge:

[duckonin]

Can I come to the fuckerware party? I shall behave.:msn-wink:

[Nasty]

Can I come to the fuckerware party? I shall behave.:msn-wink:

Sorry this one is limited to a penis free zone!

[Number One]

Can I come to the fuckerware party? I shall behave.:msn-wink:
awww Nasty ya spoil sport! I was going to say only if he promises to model the leather and lace crutchless undies :lol:

[Nasty]

awww Nasty ya spoil sport! I was going to say only if he promises to model the leather and lace crutchless undies :lol:

Damn sorry to spoil your fun ... maybe we can let one man in!

[Number One]

Damn sorry to spoil your fun ... maybe we can let one man in!
Best they apply by forwarding half naked pics of themselves then :msn-wink:

[Mom]

I'll see you at the latter re the first hmmmm will there be soft cheeses and chocolates? :dodge:

mmmmm cheeses...


Sorry this one is limited to a penis free zone!

Oh come on Nasty, you guys could get him to model some of the ummm more interesting items, some of them would look real good on a guy I reckon :yes:

[Nasty]

Best they apply by forwarding half naked pics of themselves then :msn-wink:

Directly to you darling .. I think the break I am taking is going ok at the moment ... but you do the vetting!

[vifferman]

i've got one o' them thar orangey plasticky rubbery doodads too!
My mother-in-law gave it to me, because I have aaarrrRRRRRRthritis and sometimes my fingers go on strike. They're brooooooolliant! :niceone:

[Mom]

Best they apply by forwarding half naked pics of themselves then :msn-wink:

What half? :jerry:

[Nasty]

i've got one o' them thar orangey plasticky rubbery doodads too!
My mother-in-law gave it to me, because I have aaarrrRRRRRRthritis and sometimes my fingers go on strike. They're brooooooolliant! :niceone:

Almost as good as the toys at the fuckaware party too!

[Number One]

i've got one o' them thar orangey plasticky rubbery doodads too!
My mother-in-law gave it to me, because I have aaarrrRRRRRRthritis and sometimes my fingers go on strike. They're brooooooolliant! :niceone:
See see people!! Even a guy says so!!! They really are bloody brilliant

[MadDuck]

Do these orange do-dads mow lawns? If not then totally useless I say :weep:

[Number One]

Do these orange do-dads mow lawns? If not then totally useless I say :weep:
You only say that cos you are so stwong eh chick :blip:

[MadDuck]

You only say that cos you are so stwong eh chick :blip:

Nah ...if i cant open a jar I just get a hammer and smash they blardy thing

[Number One]

Nah ...if i cant open a jar I just get a hammer and smash they blardy thing
I could argue with that...but I won't! You know how to find me :lol:

[Owl]

Oh shit, girly thread!:chase:

[Trudes]

Mwhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahah ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahhahahahaahahhahaahahahahhahahahahahah*breath*h ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhaha hahhahhahaahahahahahhahaahahaahaahahahahahhhahahah ahahahhahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahah ahahahahhahahahaahahhaahhahahahahaahahhahahahahaha hahahahahhahahahahahahhaha
is all I have to say about that.

[MadDuck]

Oh shit, girly thread!:chase:

You calling Vifferman a girl ? :Pokey:

[Conquiztador]

I might get one of those orangy thingies too. I recon you could do some really kinky shit with it! But if nothing else then it would help with the grip when the body is all oiled up...:devil2:

[Maha]

Sully reckons its good for scrubbing his Nuts in the shower.....:rockon:

[MadDuck]

Sully reckons its good for scrubbing his Nuts in the shower.....:rockon:

Perhaps you Man bitches could all try this out and report back?

[Trudes]

Sully reckons its good for scrubbing his Nuts in the shower.....:rockon:

Oh I am so not eating anything out of that kitchen again!!

[MadDuck]

Oh I am so not eating anything out of that kitchen again!!

His kitchen is in his shower ....damn thats cool

[Trudes]

His kitchen is in his shower ....damn thats cool

Sully makes special mayo!

[MadDuck]

Sully makes special mayo!

Ewwwwwww.....you Welly lot are just weird :pinch:

[Trudes]

We're a sharing caring bunch!:love:

[kiwifruit]

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[Mom]

Ewwwwwww.....you Welly lot are just weird :pinch:

No I just think there are a speshull few that make it the vibrant wonderful place to live...special mayo..

Dear oh dear, I may never be able to look Sully in the eye again :innocent:

[Nasty]

No I just think there are a speshull few that make it the vibrant wonderful place to live...special mayo..

Dear oh dear, I may never be able to look Sully in the eye again :innocent:

You could look him in the face in the first place???? .... far out you speshull too!!!

[Mom]

You could look him in the face in the first place???? .... far out you speshull too!!!

You know it :wari:

I actually have a d-vice for opening jars :yes:

[Nasty]

You know it :wari:

I actually have a d-vice for opening jars :yes:

Shit woman I got a d-vice for more than that!! :2thumbsup

[Sully60]

THE MAYO IS NOT TOO SALTY!

I don't scrub my nuts Maha, my bitch removes stains with her tounge when ordered, mmmkay.

[Number One]

I might get one of those orangy thingies too. I recon you could do some really kinky shit with it! But if nothing else then it would help with the grip when the body is all oiled up...:devil2:

:lol: crikey what is this place coming to? I post up a perfectly innocent thread about a handy device and it turns to smut! Geez you people?! :lol:


Sully reckons its good for scrubbing his Nuts in the shower.....:rockon:

Great for preventing in grown hairs after his back sack and crack wax Maha - might even work for the shaving that I heard you prefer :blip:


I don't scrub my nuts Maha, my bitch removes stains with her tounge when ordered, mmmkay.

You are so sleeping outside tonight honey anyway that is not what we got the dog for and the SPCA would not be impressed!

[Maha]

Perhaps you Man bitches could all try this out and report back?
No need, I use a little a little red toothbrush, or is it pink? dunno, I know its not the Blue one.....

Oh I am so not eating anything out of that kitchen again!!
Well at least not until after wash day....:sick:


I don't scrub my nuts Maha, my bitch removes stains with her tounge when ordered, mmmkay.
Sorry my bad.
Must be to remove biddy bids from your arse then?



Great for preventing in grown hairs after his back sack and crack wax Maha - might even work for the shaving that I heard you prefer :blip:


I go for that ...... velvet feel.........:love:

[pete376403]

[QUOTE=Number One;2012785SO what is it? It's called a need a man no more and it is used for stuff. :[/QUOTE]

Batteries included?

[Kendog]

Anyway - I am hereby publicly admitting that I couldn't be without this particular little Tupperware do dad.

It's a trap!

[Trudes]

http://www.yeah-oops.com/wp-content/uploads/its_a_trap.jpghttp://a0.vox.com/6a00c2252019508fdb00ccff8a52f86731-500pi
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y243/22Toothpicks/Drop_the_Soap-Its_a_trap.jpghttp://2.bp.blogspot.com/_hA5QqiCOLJ8/SGpzTgJnisI/AAAAAAAAAAY/GxHGmGKJf-g/s320/ackbar.jpg

[Number One]

Batteries included?

Nought but your own elbow grease required Pete :blip: Cool eh?!


It's a trap!

I shall resist!!!! The Bitches are threatening to leave me their Tupperware in their wills - I am counting on you to ensure that this doesn't happen well at least in your house...mmkay!! Although I would make an exception for the grater do dad and bowl - I still remember your Martha Stewart impression when you showed me the glory that it is :shutup:

[Trudes]

Kendog loves the Tupperware gadgets I bring home, some of them more than I do!! :gob: (He does love his cheese grater thingy and his big microwave bowl;))

[Number One]

Kendog loves the Tupperware gadgets I bring home, some of them more than I do!! :gob: (He does love his cheese grater thingy and his big microwave bowl;))
He WAS just about salivating when he showed me the grater and bowl - that's for sure. In fact I doubt that one would get left to anyone in the will - he'll be taking it with him ;)

[Nasty]

Kendog loves the Tupperware gadgets I bring home, some of them more than I do!! :gob: (He does love his cheese grater thingy and his big microwave bowl;))

My microwave bowl has arrived and is at Judecatmads .. gotta get over there and pick it up!!!!

[Trudes]

mwhahahaha, my poor boy gets excited about the little things in life. I don't know why he keeps insisting on buying shit to go in the living room for entertainment purposes, we could just buy him a couple of cheese graters, a few blocks of cheese and some carrots, cheap entertainment!!

[Trudes]

My microwave bowl has arrived and is at Judecatmads .. gotta get over there and pick it up!!!!

Oh you are SO gonna love your microwave bowl!! ;):laugh:

[Number One]

My microwave bowl has arrived and is at Judecatmads .. gotta get over there and pick it up!!!!
Morning Nasty Bitch - you want we can collect while we out that way today...guessing Trudes knows the way to the Tupperware source?!

[Number One]

I don't know why he keeps insisting on buying shit to go in the living room for entertainment purposes
He does it cos he wants to keep all the small and big kids entertained when we visit ;) Actually it must be about time we shot that vid we talked about.....

[Nasty]

Morning Nasty Bitch - you want we can collect while we out that way today...guessing Trudes knows the way to the Tupperware source?!

I so want to say yes ... but I need to catch up with Jude ... thanks for the offer ... but (as much as this hurts) I will try and make my way out there this week. (Trudes i still got that midget full of smarties for you!)

[Number One]

I so want to say yes ... but I need to catch up with Jude ... thanks for the offer ... but (as much as this hurts) I will try and make my way out there this week. (Trudes i still got that midget full of smarties for you!)
Fair enough and to be honest I'd rather not get too close to the Tupperware source anyway - it might suck me in with it's tractor beam!

[Trudes]

(Trudes i still got that midget full of smarties for you!)
I want my midget of smarties!!!!!!
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:laugh:

[Trudes]

He does it cos he wants to keep all the small and big kids entertained when we visit ;) Actually it must be about time we shot that vid we talked about.....

Well the Easter Orgy is just about upon us!!!
What, it wouldn't be entertaining to sit about and watch Nige grate carrots and give his Martha Stewart speal on the grater!!??

[Number One]

Well the Easter Orgy is just about upon us!!!
What, it wouldn't be entertaining to sit about and watch Nige grate carrots and give his Martha Stewart speal on the grater!!??
That all depends on what he is wearing as he delivers his speil :msn-wink:

OOOOOOOOOOO easter!!!! YAY!!!!! I'm on holiday with SullyOne - yeeehaaaaar 11 days of no work in a row :wari:

[Taz]

Oil filter wrenches are great for opening jars........:cool:

[Trouser]

I get the missus to stab the jar top with a knife to release the vacuum. Much easier then.

[Nasty]

Oil filter wrenches are great for opening jars........:cool:

OMG ... I have one of those and never would have thought of using it ... mind you I also got a man no more and its fantastic - wonder if that will work for the almost impossibe to get to the oil filter with the tool thing.

[gijoe1313]

Heck, I just get the end of a spoon or knife, put it under the lip of the jar lid and lever it out a little ... hear the vacuum being released and easy peasy, lemon squeezies the lid comes off in a trife! :yes:

But yep, I love those kewl little click-clack type boxes .. useful for storing all sorts of valuable junk in them!

[Kendog]

For safety reasons I am stepping quietly out of this thread now.

[Number One]

Heck, I just get the end of a spoon or knife, put it under the lip of the jar lid and lever it out a little ... hear the vacuum being released and easy peasy, lemon squeezies the lid comes off in a trife! :yes:

But yep, I love those kewl little click-clack type boxes .. useful for storing all sorts of valuable junk in them!
:lol: Tupperware Blasphemy GIJoe! You can't compare click clack to Tupperware - they will have your head! :lol:

I never can seem to get the vacuum to release when I shove impliments into the lid...

Just as well I have a 'Need a man no more'!

[Number One]

For safety reasons I am stepping quietly out of this thread now.
bok bok bok booooook ;)

[Patch]

oh dear bitches unite :shutup:

[Kendog]

bok bok bok booooook ;)

Ok, I will depart with one more....

I love the vegetable storage thingamy jigamy's. Every time I open them the veges are fresh and dry with all the condensation from storage magically stuck on the onside of the lid.

Awesome!

[Kendog]

Just thought of one last one, and that's it :rolleyes:

The frying pan.

Great for cooking the bitch some eggs :p

[Number One]

Just thought of one last one, and that's it :rolleyes:

The frying pan.

Great for cooking the bitch some eggs :p
See all this is why you are my second hubby...come here you :hug:

[Nasty]

Heck, I just get the end of a spoon or knife, put it under the lip of the jar lid and lever it out a little ... hear the vacuum being released and easy peasy, lemon squeezies the lid comes off in a trife! :yes:

But yep, I love those kewl little click-clack type boxes .. useful for storing all sorts of valuable junk in them!

Yukky ... including weavils in the flour .... just what I want when baking protien in my flour ... :no:

[Trudes]

Tell the folks what you did today Number One!!!:whistle:

[Nasty]

Tell the folks what you did today Number One!!!:whistle:

Yup I reckon you should ... cos that was extra special!

[Ixion]

I never found a jar lid yet that the gas axe wouldn't shift.

[Number One]

Tell the folks what you did today Number One!!!:whistle:
:lol: I'm not going to get away with it am I? :rolleyes: :rofl:

Today I did the unthinkable! Something I have always vowed never to do.

I had previously managed to attend 6 other Tupperware parties to 'only eat the cheese and crackers and talk crap' BUT todays party was different....AND I BLAME TRUDES!!!!

Yes folks while I still ate the cheese and crackers and talked crap I also ended up buying some Tupperware :doh:

AND because the Tupperware lady felt she had acheived something momentus I was even allowed to take home the 'demonstration set' of what I had brought.

I now have my mushrooms stored in a magic device that apparenlty means they will last for 3 weeks without going slimey and gooey. I am vowing to not eat these mushrooms just so that I can see how good this magic device is!

Thank you Tupperware - my carrots, pumpkin, celery and mushrooms are breathing away happily in their new fridgesmart containers :lol:

[Trudes]

I'm so proud of you!! :laugh:

[Number One]

I'm so proud of you!! :laugh:
After all the excitement....some bad news....I can't find my RJO :weep: Perhaps I do still need the man...well at least to open all those pesky sealed jars anyway :lol:

[Number One]

Ok, I will depart with one more....

I love the vegetable storage thingamy jigamy's. Every time I open them the veges are fresh and dry with all the condensation from storage magically stuck on the onside of the lid.

Awesome!
See you even raved about them on this thread :rofl: you are such a housewife!

[MadDuck]

Perhaps I do still need the man...well at least to open all those pesky sealed jars anyway :lol:

Have you learnt nothing from me? Hammers work just as well :argh:

[Genestho]

I have one of those Orange Doodads!!!!

*Sigh* Until number 2 thought he'd get the "sizzles" (yea scissors) to cut the "plaster" (orange doodad thing) to help Mum out!:eek5:

The shredded flaps of the Orange Doodad still caress and open said Jars and drink bottles. :woohoo:

Ahhhh Bless....

[Freeatlast]

Have you learnt nothing from me? Hammers work just as well :argh:

I've found they work best when the hammer is applied directly to the man in question...

[MadDuck]

I've found they work best when the hammer is applied directly to the man in question...


Hmmm....maybe you need a drop saw. Or get over it and move on :zzzz:

[MsKABC]

After all the excitement....some bad news....I can't find my RJO :weep: Perhaps I do still need the man...well at least to open all those pesky sealed jars anyway :lol:

PM me your address sweets, I'll send you a new one :hug:

Edit: new RJO, that is, not man!

[Laxi]

...

Tupperware - the very word makes some ladies cackle in their panties

you have some strange friends #1:rofl:

[Number One]

you have some strange friends #1:rofl:
Indeed I do ;) Just the way I like it too!

[Skyryder]

Tupperware use to make an orange peeler.

Too peel the orange you used the tool and cut the skin into segments from top to bottom then just peeled off the skin.

Best goddam tool ever but I lost it in one of our shifts.


Skyryder

[Nasty]

Tupperware use to make an orange peeler.

Too peel the orange you used the tool and cut the skin into segments from top to bottom then just peeled off the skin.

Best goddam tool ever but I lost it in one of our shifts.


Skyryder

I think I have two .. will check if I do I can send ya one :)

[Number One]

Tupperware use to make an orange peeler.

Too peel the orange you used the tool and cut the skin into segments from top to bottom then just peeled off the skin.

Best goddam tool ever but I lost it in one of our shifts.


Skyryder
I have one of those too! :bleh: and yes it is bloody good! Avoid all that nasty tasting orange peel getting stuck under your nails :laugh:

[Mom]

I've found they work best when the hammer is applied directly to the man in question...

Tee hee, so tell me apart from weilding a hammer what do you do for a crust?


Hmmm....maybe you need a drop saw. Or get over it and move on :zzzz:


Geez Ducky, drop saw? You probably want a reciprocating one to get through them hard to reach places :blip:



you have some strange friends #1:rofl:

Oi! I resemble that comment!

[MyGSXF]

Sooooo.. how much are these doodads then....??? :wait:

[Number One]

Sooooo.. how much are these doodads then....??? :wait:
Dunno - I got mine in one of those party games they have to get you being nice to all the other guests

[Laxi]

Oi! I resemble that comment!

at least you're honest;)