Females are programmed for prostitution

[Finn]

It's in their genes, they can't help it.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10565856

[PrincessBandit]

Glad I ain't a monkey then....

[smoky]

So you want to have sex with a chimp?
Or are thinking they should legalise sex with chimps and pay them with meat?
Didn't AIDS start with Africans having sex with monkeys?

I thought they ate bananas anyway

[Jantar]

Glad I ain't a monkey then....

This part suggests that human behaviour is no different:

Anthropologists have previously suggested that early human societies engaged in meat-for-sex behaviour with the best male hunters having the greatest number of sexual partners. The latest findings support the hypothesis, scientists said.

Suddenly I get the urge to go and kill something edible. :lol:

[Hitcher]

Adds a whole new dimension to the efficacy of after-dinner mince...

[Finn]

Adds a whole new dimension to the efficacy of after-dinner mince...

Mr Creosote did share his food, but not in a way that would get him laid.

[Big Dave]

http://www.davidcohen.co.nz/2things.mp3

[Naki Rat]

Suddenly I get the urge to go and kill something edible. :lol:

Easier to buy chocolates. That works too :bleh:

[MsKABC]

10 characters

[slofox]

Didn't AIDS start with Africans having sex with monkeys?



Nah - getting bitten by monkeys...a little different.

[Pwalo]

It's in their genes, they can't help it.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10565856

Yeah, an interesting choice of words. Always a problem when you try and 'humanise' animal behaviour. Could have used 'trade', but why let that get in the way of a good headline.

It's also interesting to see that this is the long term study of a single troop of monkeys, so can obviously be extrapoloted to all monkeys. Still I guess you need some sort of justification for counting how many times monkeys have sex.

Shit, I'm grumpy today.

[MsKABC]

It's also interesting to see that this is the long term study of a single troop of monkeys, so can obviously be extrapoloted to all monkeys. Still I guess you need some sort of justification for counting how many times monkeys have sex.


Actually, chimpanzees are apes, not monkeys :D Here endeth your biology lesson for today.

[Naki Rat]

Nah - getting bitten by monkeys...a little different.

I read that eating monkey was suspected but I suppose biting, eating, sex. One thing leads to another :lol:

[awayatc]

I have just butchered up a whole cattlebeast, and got 2 pigs and 4 deer in the freezer.....

Surely that should be enough.....?

[Lissa]

Thousands of years ago like the monkey, man would have gone out and hunted for meat for days on end, with only a spear and a loin cloth. Those men would have been picked by the female because they could provide for them and their children would be strong.

Now a days all a man has to do is take a female out for dinner, a movie, buy some wine and flowers... see how easy you have it now ! :laugh:

[slofox]

I read that eating monkey was suspected but I suppose biting, eating, sex. One thing leads to another :lol:

It does....

I think they were "green monkeys" were they not? (also known as the Callithrix Monkey). Never pays to eat anything that is green...

[Usarka]

Dirty sluts they're all the same - only in it for the meat.

[slofox]

"Viruses closely related to HIV are found in monkeys and other non-human primates in Africa, and many scientists believe that the first humans were infected through contact with monkeys in the middle years of the 20th century. We don't know of anyone who has attempted to have sex with a wild monkey. It's hard to imagine that such an attempt would make it past first base, but perhaps that's one way to get scratched or bitten. Sometimes monkeys are eaten as food, and it's perhaps easier to imagine contact with infected blood through a knife cut during preparation. So this is one possible explanation for the origin of HIV/AIDS."

[Finn]

...and got 2 pigs and 4 deer in the freezer....

Won't they be cold?

[Finn]

Now a days all a man has to do is take a female out for dinner, a movie, buy some wine and flowers... see how easy you have it now ! :laugh:

Yeah but we're not allowed to club you anymore when you get annoying.

[awayatc]

swap a sausage for some rump......anyone?

[FJRider]

I have just butchered up a whole cattlebeast, and got 2 pigs and 4 deer in the freezer.....

Surely that should be enough.....?

As long as YOU are doing the cooking... a few may be scared to... apply otherwise ...??

[SARGE]

This part suggests that human behaviour is no different:


Suddenly I get the urge to go and kill something edible. :lol:

i get that all the time but the wife wont let me kill bambi or the cat


wonder how Skidmark would taste if ya slow roasted him for a few days?


nah .. nevermind .. probably stringy and gutless

[cowpoos]

Now a days all a man has to do is take a female out for dinner, a movie, buy some wine and flowers... see how easy you have it now ! :laugh:

Fuck that would cost fuck loads....makes hiring a prostitute look like a viable option...all the benifits...none of the crap :whistle:

[peasea]

It's in their genes, they can't help it.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10565856

One way or another you pay for it. It's what the slot is for.

[smoky]

Now a days all a man has to do is take a female out for dinner, a movie, buy some wine and flowers... see how easy you have it now ! :laugh:

Is that an invitation?

[Madness]

swap a sausage for some rump......anyone?

Did you say Sausage?.

I've got a Cockatoo that I'll gladly swap for a Sausage or ten.

[Goblin]

Fuck that would cost fuck loads....makes hiring a prostitute look like a viable option...all the benifits...none of the crap :whistle:Dont they only pay her to fuck off afterwards...much cheaper option I would think.:whistle:

[doc]

Thousands of years ago like the monkey, man would have gone out and hunted for meat for days on end, with only a spear and a loin cloth. Those men would have been picked by the female because they could provide for them and their children would be strong.

Now a days all a man has to do is take a female out for dinner, a movie, buy some wine and flowers... see how easy you have it now ! :laugh:

Faaaark off girl. You have been watching Prime "Man vs Wild" Thats so yesterday. Metrosexual man justs grabs a bit of roadkill. Pukeko if you live in town close to the Motorway, or possum if you live a bit further out. Fluffs it up a bit and your in. You have have long hair ? I can take you back to my cave or yours :banana:

[smoky]

Now a days all a man has to do is take a female out for dinner, a movie, buy some wine and flowers... see how easy you have it now ! :laugh:

I must be real ugly;
it always took a bit of hunting and stalking (my version of charm) before I ever got to the stage of 'taking a female out'.
Then a few evenings out with dinner, wine and flowers
then lots of alcohol

Hunting animals has always been easier than seducing women
:doh:

[smoky]

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10565856

Shhhh - don't tell Michael Jackson, he'll want to buy a butchery

[awayatc]

what time is bedtime at Michael jacksons place....?


When the big hand touches the small hand......

[gatch]

Now a days all a man has to do is take a female out for dinner, a movie, buy some wine and flowers... see how easy you have it now ! :laugh:

At least you can find a stick on any good tree and a loin cloth from the last animal you wasted..

Woman and wheels.. $$$

[fire eyes]

ohhhh I can tell this thread is going places! :bleh:

[kunoichi]

Now a days all a man has to do is take a female out for dinner, a movie, buy some wine and flowers... see how easy you have it now ! :laugh:

I must say that's quiet a bit to expect from any man in one session! Females, please! Relax with the materialism and let the man seduce u with his charms rather than the entice u into bed by the weight of his wallet! And there is nothing wrong with seducing men as thus: :apint:

As for the whole thing about men being more sex focused than women...i must disagree, for some reason girls think it's sexy playing hard to get. If u wanna play hard to get, just run around the room naked and let him chase u! :lol:

[Laxi]

Nah - getting bitten by monkeys...a little different.

actually not quite correct, the most likly cause of transmition was either sexual activity with apes or eating apes, given the two accusations most africans would admit to eating apes i think:laugh:

[peasea]

actually not quite correct, the most likly cause of transmition was either sexual activity with apes or eating apes, given the two accusations most africans would admit to eating apes i think:laugh:

Eating which bit? Were the apes still alive when eaten and if so did they enjoy being eaten?


Whatever happened, it wasn't kosher.

[mynameis]

Now a days all a man has to do is take a female out for dinner, a movie, buy some wine and flowers... see how easy you have it now ! :laugh:



Flick me a PM when you wana go out for dinner and movie. I'll buy some wine, flowers and rubber.

[MadDuck]

I must say that's quiet a bit to expect from any man in one session!


the most likly cause of transmition

Interesting that with English as a Second language I is so proud to be a kiwi :laugh:

[MsKABC]

I must say that's quiet a bit to expect from any man in one session! Females, please! Relax with the materialism and let the man seduce u with his charms rather than the entice u into bed by the weight of his wallet! And there is nothing wrong with seducing men as thus: :apint:

As for the whole thing about men being more sex focused than women...i must disagree, for some reason girls think it's sexy playing hard to get. If u wanna play hard to get, just run around the room naked and let him chase u! :lol:

Disclaimer: The opinions of the poster above are not necessarily those held by women in general.

There is a difference between being shallow and materialistic and requiring that men put a little thought into making a date romantic.

[mynameis]

Disclaimer: The opinions of the poster above are not necessarily those held by women in general.

There is a difference between being shallow and materialistic and requiring that men put a little thought into making a date romantic.

Mens translation =

Blah blah blah blaaah...

[MadDuck]

Mens translation =

Blah blah blah blaaah...

Nah mens translation....how do i get a bit of this without being caught by the missus or getting a disease

[scumdog]

Adds a whole new dimension to the efficacy of after-dinner mince...

Who you sayin' is mincin' Willis??:angry:

[MsKABC]

Mens translation =

baby you look gorgeous in that dress and I think you're the most intelligent woman I've ever met. Here - have these flowers as a token of my love and don't worry about the housework darling, I'll do it all for you.

My work here is done! :D

[sinfull]

Flick me a PM when you wana go out for dinner and movie. I'll buy some wine, flowers and rubber.
I have rubber, only two track days old !



Now a days all a man has to do is take a female out for dinner, a movie, buy some wine and flowers... see how easy you have it now ! :laugh:
Someone should open a macvideogardenbar where ya can get all ya take outs at one spot !
But wine ? Bwahahahaha, you'll drink bourbon and like it ! Ugg !
What are ya like with eggs ? See who says neandethalls don't think ahead !

[mynameis]

My work here is done! :D

:lol: Must spread rep :laugh:

See twisting words :p

[MadDuck]

See twisting words :p

Girls do that :first:

[mynameis]

I have rubber, only two track days old !



That rubber won't get you laid silly :laugh:

[sinfull]

That rubber won't get you laid silly :laugh:
But they are on a triumph !

[MsKABC]

That rubber won't get you laid silly :laugh:

Oh I dunno, there's something pretty sexy about a man in leathers! :blip:

[gatch]

Why are men expected to be romantic etc, it is not natural and most of the time we stuff it up lol.

Besides in this day and age of woman being allowed to vote and speak before they are spoken to, why aren't woman allowed to make the first move, I mean it's only fair right.. Equality and all that guff :innocent: Womans lib.

Lol

[sinfull]

Oh I dunno, there's something pretty sexy about a man in leathers! :blip:
But then there's women in rubber :drool:

[MsKABC]

See twisting words :p

No, I was just "exploring your feelings" for you ;)


Girls do that :first:

But only a woman can be a real master at it, eh Ducky? :yes:


Why are men expected to be romantic etc, it is not natural and most of the time we stuff it up lol.

Besides in this day and age of woman being allowed to vote and speak before they are spoken to, why aren't woman allowed to make the first move, I mean it's only fair right.. Equality and all that guff :innocent: Womans lib.

Lol

You don't have to be good at it - you just have to try!


But then there's women in rubber :drool:

I think women in leathers are pretty sexy, don't you?

[sinfull]

I think women in leathers are pretty sexy, don't you?
Pvc is best !

[MsKABC]

Pvc is best !

Not so good for preventing road rash though methinks! :nono:

[sinfull]

Not so good for preventing road rash though methinks! :nono:
No, that thought wasn't sexy at all !
Goes back to sexy thoughts

[Conquiztador]

Maybe it was the monkies who caused this AIDS epidemic?

Imagine the draught in Africa, monkey girls out trying to find food, solo monkey mum struggling, little monkey hanging on screaming in hunger.

She comes up to a man who has just killed his last cow as food. Monkey girl relises that he is too strong to fight, but she needs to feed her baby, so she barters...

[Tone165]

thousands of years ago like the monkey, man would have gone out and hunted for meat for days on end, with only a spear and a loin cloth. Those men would have been picked by the female because they could provide for them and their children would be strong.

Now a days all a man has to do is take a female out for dinner, a movie, buy some wine and flowers... See how easy you have it now ! :laugh:

it's a trap!!!!!

Run lads

run for your lives!!!!!!

[Lissa]

Fuck that would cost fuck loads....makes hiring a prostitute look like a viable option...all the benifits...none of the crap :whistle:
Good point poos, and with todays resession, work might be hard to come by for the prostitutes, you might even be able to get a cheapy. :shutup:

[awayatc]

Prostitutes/marrying

is exactly like cellphone argument...

pre-pay or contract?.....

[kunoichi]

Disclaimer: The opinions of the poster above are not necessarily those held by women in general.

There is a difference between being shallow and materialistic and requiring that men put a little thought into making a date romantic.

No my opinions don't reflect the thoughts of the general woman population, however, i am trying to make a point that women are unrealistic in saying that the shiny and expensive stuff don't attract them and yet the idea of a 'romantic' date in this case was the movie, dinner, flowers, wine etc, all of which are materialistic. I'm just trying to say to women that they have to be realistic, that a good guy might not have that much disposable income to spend on you. What's wrong with a walk in the park or on the beach, with some fish and chips and maybe topped off with some icecream, of which the cost should be shared! Yes guys should put some thought into dates, but women should learn to pick up on the thoughts that don't have a physical manifestation, and to be honest, most of men do put alil thought into dates, just not in the materialistic way that most women want but they can't afford. He might do something sweet like hold ur hand or kiss u on the forehead instead of giving u an expensive bouquet of flowers and a more expensive bottle of wine.

LOL, but yet again, i'v been raised by my brothers, so think like a guy alot of the time. I probably understand the creatures with boobs as much as the next guy around the corner! :p

[Str8 Jacket]

No my opinions don't reflect the thoughts of the general woman population, however, i am trying to make a point that women are unrealistic in saying that the shiny and expensive stuff don't attract them and yet the idea of a 'romantic' date in this case was the movie, dinner, flowers, wine etc, all of which are materialistic. I'm just trying to say to women that they have to be realistic, that a good guy might not have that much disposable income to spend on you. What's wrong with a walk in the park or on the beach, with some fish and chips and maybe topped off with some icecream, of which the cost should be shared! Yes guys should put some thought into dates, but women should learn to pick up on the thoughts that don't have a physical manifestation, and to be honest, most of men do put alil thought into dates, just not in the materialistic way that most women want but they can't afford. He might do something sweet like hold ur hand or kiss u on the forehead instead of giving u an expensive bouquet of flowers and a more expensive bottle of wine.

LOL, but yet again, i'v been raised by my brothers, so think like a guy alot of the time. I probably understand the creatures with boobs as much as the next guy around the corner! :p

Yep, I totally agree with you. I fell for my man cause he was him(and he has a great arse!), he definately didn't try and "woo" me and he didnt have to!

[Stirts]

Yep, I totally agree with you. I fell for my man cause he was him(and he has a great arse!), he definately didn't try and "woo" me and he didnt have to!

Totally agree too.....oops not about your mans arse....I am sure he has a nice arse, although I have never seen nor really want to as I am happy with my mans arse

Our first 'date' was a trip to the transfer station to smash copious amounts of bourbon bottles!!! I was totally smitten after that!!

[PrincessBandit]

...


wonder how Skidmark would taste if ya slow roasted him for a few days?


nah .. nevermind .. probably stringy and gutless

OMG, my lunch is about to reappear at the thought of you even entertaining the idea of eating Mark.......

(perhaps you might do better with Carver :msn-wink:)

[kunoichi]

haha, i like the sound of 'he didn't have to!'. Now there's 3 cases where a man doesn't have to woo a woman with his wallet. I met my man at the ATNR, friendly bantering to get him in the scooter races, and he had me! :P

[sinfull]

Nothin wrong with a little planned romance ! Like that ad on telly where the bloke had a digger full of roses ! Just so happens i had access to a digger on a truck and knew where the council rose gardens were !
Slipped outa bed early, went and grabbed the truck (had loaded the digger late the night before and filled the bucket with roses) and she woke up when i fired the digger up lol walked out onto the balcony just in time to






Get smacked in the head with a digger bucket !


Nah all worked out well, with roses (and petals lotssssss of petals) falling at her feet !
Cost me faaaark all, but boy did i ever have to think hard to better that one the next valentines day !

[SARGE]

omg, my lunch is about to reappear at the thought of you even entertaining the idea of eating mark.......

(perhaps you might do better with carver :msn-wink:)




i dont know ... Ive eaten a fair bit of pussy in my time ..

[smoky]

I must say that's quiet a bit to expect from any man in one session! Females, please! Relax with the materialism and let the man seduce u with his charms rather than the entice u into bed by the weight of his wallet!

Hey - shhh, thats the only hope I've got

[fire eyes]

what the hell is a date lol

[irishlad]

what the hell is a date lol

That was 69

Pretty crap

Usually a bit wetter

[Laxi]

Interesting that with English as a Second language I is so proud to be a kiwi :laugh:

who knew my standard 2 school teacher was a kber???:doh:

[mynameis]

No my opinions don't reflect the thoughts of the general woman population, however, i am trying to make a point that women are unrealistic in saying that the shiny and expensive stuff don't attract them and yet the idea of a 'romantic' date in this case was the movie, dinner, flowers, wine etc, all of which are materialistic. I'm just trying to say to women that they have to be realistic, that a good guy might not have that much disposable income to spend on you. What's wrong with a walk in the park or on the beach, with some fish and chips and maybe topped off with some icecream, of which the cost should be shared! Yes guys should put some thought into dates, but women should learn to pick up on the thoughts that don't have a physical manifestation, and to be honest, most of men do put alil thought into dates, just not in the materialistic way that most women want but they can't afford. He might do something sweet like hold ur hand or kiss u on the forehead instead of giving u an expensive bouquet of flowers and a more expensive bottle of wine.

LOL, but yet again, i'v been raised by my brothers, so think like a guy alot of the time. I probably understand the creatures with boobs as much as the next guy around the corner! :p


Yep, I totally agree with you. I fell for my man cause he was him(and he has a great arse!), he definately didn't try and "woo" me and he didnt have to!

Awwwwwwwwwwwww you girls !! Awwww :love::love::love:

:lol:

Anywayz Finn was trying to get some tips on how to score monkey dates :laugh:

[Whynot]

what the hell is a date lol

Apparently its something that happens before sex.
Like drinking i guess .... ?

[fire eyes]

Apparently its something that happens before sex.
Like drinking i guess .... ?

thankyou for clarifying! :jerry:

[retro asian]

Nah - getting bitten by monkeys...a little different.

You have to wactch Ricky Gervais' stand up...

how did the first human get AIDS, since we know it comes from monkeys?" to which his funny conversation carries on "the human goes to the doctor, doctor tells him he's got AIDS, he asks how he got it.. and is given two reasons... 1) He's been having sexual relations with monkeys, or 2) he's been chopping up monkeys and accidentally cut his finger at the same time",

guess which option the human chose to save embarrassment...

[dipshit]

We all pay for it one way or another.