Where are the Taste Police when you really need them?

[Hitcher]

Regular Kiwi Biker readers should by now be well familiar with my views on flouro vests.

Well tonight, whilst minding my own business returning the IT Guru to his Bat Cave, what should I spy with my little eye?

I need a few deep breaths to calm myself before sharing this next bit with you, gentle readers. I suggest that the aged and infirmed amongst you do something similar.

Are you all relaxed and sitting quietly?

OK.

Not just a flouro vest was spied. Not just a flouro vest whose markings were in the shape of an X. Oh noes.

I've come over all tremulous recalling that memory.

No. It was a flouro vest in the shape of a cross with...

Coloured lights.

Blue ones. And other shades too, but my retinas were scarred after the first assault.

I tasted a little sick in the back of my mouth, perhaps because I had inadvertently left my Death Ray Gun(TM) at home.

Dear oh dear.

Go safely through the darkness, oh Tasteless Biker. May Those In Authority Over Us not ticket your sorry arse for displaying non-red lights to the rear.

[Maha]

Are you sure it wasn't Sully going to work??

[twistemotion]

It was Santa Clause with his new ride. The vest was a gift from Mrs. Clause, she made the elves work day and night on that. He dare not leave home without it.

[tri boy]

Mobile blue light disco maybe:scratch:

[Number One]

Are you sure it wasn't Sully going to work??
:gob: HEY! I thought he was one of your crew? :lol:

[2wheeldrifter]

A man of god doing his best to convert the masses



You have seen the light Hitcher... :yes:

[Shadows]

Regular Kiwi Biker readers should by now be well familiar with my views on flouro vests.

Well tonight, whilst minding my own business returning the IT Guru to his Bat Cave, what should I spy with my little eye?

I need a few deep breaths to calm myself before sharing this next bit with you, gentle readers. I suggest that the aged and infirmed amongst you do something similar.

Are you all relaxed and sitting quietly?

OK.

Not just a flouro vest was spied. Not just a flouro vest whose markings were in the shape of an X. Oh noes.

I've come over all tremulous recalling that memory.

No. It was a flouro vest in the shape of a cross with...

Coloured lights.

Blue ones. And other shades too, but my retinas were scarred after the first assault.

I tasted a little sick in the back of my mouth, perhaps because I had inadvertently left my Death Ray Gun(TM) at home.

Dear oh dear.

Go safely through the darkness, oh Tasteless Biker. May Those In Authority Over Us not ticket your sorry arse for displaying non-red lights to the rear.

Geeze mate, you must really be rattled.

Going on about a vest which I can only imagine must be made of flour when I'm sure you intended to refer to attire of the fluorescent variety.

Time for a cup of tea and a lie down methinks.

[Hitcher]

Going on about a vest which I can only imagine must be made of flour when I'm sure you intended to refer to attire of the fluorescent variety.

Time for a cup of tea and a lie down methinks.

One wonders who it is who should be doing the sipping and reclining.

[Shadows]

One wonders who it is who should be doing the sipping and reclining.

Well... I do have a beer in my hand and my chair back is broken.

[ElCoyote]

Photo's? :zzzz::zzzz:

[vifferman]

I call "Bogusness", or "Imposterosity".
The real Hitcher would never write "flouro".

I hate my fluoro vest-attachment-thingo. Despite its minimalist size, and non-flappiness, it is turrbl for collecting road spooge.
And it fux me off coz it's so.... so.... PC.

I only wear it attached to my ghey Macna jacket because the vifferbabe bought the jacket, and she asked me to wear it, perhaps because she's concerned for my Safety, or perhaps because she wants me to look like a FluoroDork.
I wear it only because it seems to sometimes cause brain-dead car drivers to make way for me, presumably because they think I'm some sort of Official or Officious Motorbicycle Rider, like a Police Motorbicyclist or Paranormal Person or Summat.

[Murray]

what should I spy with my little eye?


The question is would you not have seen it with your little eye, or noticed it at all, if it had not been so dressed!!!

[James Deuce]

Not that old chestnut. Yes we saw him, coming toward us because of his illuminated headlight, and becoz we iz bikerz and c bike stuf coz we iz attuned. mkbai.

[Scouse]

It was a flouro vest in the shape of a cross with...

Coloured lights.

Blue ones. And other shades too.Are you dropping some sort of hint that you would like one given to you as a birthday present?

[Burtha]

1 in x-number of men are colour blind. Its times like this I think ye may benefit.

Shot of whisky in some warm milk before bed to help ease into sleep may help.

I would have run them over perhaps? Drawn to them like a fly to a zapping machine ...

[Hitcher]

The question is would you not have seen it with your little eye, or noticed it at all, if it had not been so dressed!!!

Now here's the thing. I remember once reading some research that showed that the most conspicuous vehicle on the road was, wait for it, a motorcycle cop.

And here's another Hitcher Theory(TM).

I reckon that the most conspicuous thing a motorcyclist could wear would be Harry Potter's Cloak Of Invisibility. Motorists, and any other observer for that matter, would instantly focus on the apparently riderless motorcycle and marvel in amazement.

"Who the fuck is riding that?" they would exclaim.

And Hitcher knows full well the difference between fluoro and flowero, just as he knows full well the difference between and garage and a gargre. Well, he would if he was actually a real person and not merely a cliched Internet meme.

[Badjelly]

No. It was a flouro vest in the shape of a cross with...

Coloured lights.

Blue ones...

Where can I get one?

[vifferman]

And Hitcher knows full well the difference between fluoro and flowero, just as he knows full well the difference between and garage and a gargre. Well, he would if he was actually a real person and not merely a cliched Internet meme.
I am almost (but not quite!) reassured of the non-imposterosityness of the Hitcher that posted that.
On the other hand, I don't care.
On the other other hand (or is it another limb extremity?), I would like to say this, about the alleged Hitcher seeing an alleged LED-lit preposterosity:
<img src="http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~cam4/worthless.gif"></img>

[Ixion]

If you see it again, can you find out where they may be had? And there is no law against the *rider* wearing blue lights, only against the *bike* having them fitted. A pedantic distinction, true, but on such lawyers grow fat.

[Hitcher]

If you see it again, can you find out where they may be had?

On that basis I may have to engage the wearer in lighthearted banter before I club them to death. I suppose there is sport it that...

I am sure the membership of ATGATT Inc have a catalogue with one of these monstrosities in it.

And I do have a witness, if they are prepared to admit to having witnessed a Crime Against Sensibility.

[James Deuce]

I did witness it. I threw up a little and there is still a piece of carrot lodged in one of my sinuses.

Did it make him any more visible? Not from the front or sides, the places where most motobicyclists are muntered from.

Did it really make him no more visible.? I maintain I see these things simply because my brain is as hardwired to look for bikes as it is cleavage.

[Mikkel]

I prescribe a healthy dose of aged single-malts - the only known medicine for PSTD - to both of you poor bastards.

[Sully60]

Are you sure it wasn't Sully going to work??

There's only one colour I had on the outside last night was B-84P, I'd rather drive a Honda than wear a flouro vest!

[James Deuce]

Saw a Burgman rider all kitted out ATTGATT and sitting bolt upright, wearing fluoro vest proudly - and the darkest mofo of a visor you've ever seen in heavy traffic, mild wind and heavy rain. Oh, it was a bit dark too.

Burning time approaches, children.

[Hitcher]

There's only one colour I had on the outside last night was B-84P

Is that a colour? I thought it was a position.

[The Pastor]

I call "Bogusness", or "Imposterosity".
The real Hitcher would never write "flouro".

I hate my fluoro vest-attachment-thingo. Despite its minimalist size, and non-flappiness, it is turrbl for collecting road spooge.
And it fux me off coz it's so.... so.... PC.

I only wear it attached to my ghey Macna jacket because the vifferbabe bought the jacket, and she asked me to wear it, perhaps because she's concerned for my Safety, or perhaps because she wants me to look like a FluoroDork.
I wear it only because it seems to sometimes cause brain-dead car drivers to make way for me, presumably because they think I'm some sort of Official or Officious Motorbicycle Rider, like a Police Motorbicyclist or Paranormal Person or Summat.
kawhipsih!


thats the sound of being whipped.

[Badjelly]

Did it make him any more visible? Not from the front or sides, the places where most motobicyclists are muntered from.

There's an easy solution to that: wear it back-to-front It'll be the new fashion amongst hard-core bikers in a few weeks, mark my words. Just remember, you heard it here first.

[martybabe]

Well gents it would seem that you certainly noticed the guy, which I guess is kinda the idea isn't it. The photo sensitive epilepsy,nausea and bad taste aside, the fellah stood out enough to get his own thread, so if standing out was his goal, he's a winner. Good taste apparel, maybe not :eek5:

In Englandtown this garish stuff is commonly known as 'Dayglo', because few can spell flouroniminicent clothing, amongst the crueller types in the emergency services, it shall be known as 'Gayglo', continently disliked it would seem.

Far more effective are coloured headlamp covers, especially the blue ones, no doubt illegal but you can see the buggers from miles away and you can walk around without causing innocent people to chuck their breakfasts. ;)

[ManDownUnder]

Oh noes.

"Oh noes."?

OK - who hacked Hitcher's Account?

[marty]

http://www.webbikeworld.com/r3/safety-vest/safe-lites-beaconwear.htm

http://www.webbikeworld.com/r4/led-safety-jacket-vest/

[Hitcher]

Although the offerings on both of those links scream "Knob!" at equal intensities, they are not the model presented the other evening.

[davebullet]

I wear a fluoro vest when commuting. I agree they are hideous and tasteless. I would rather the law mandate all cars be fitted with a motorcycle proximity warning system.

I have no idea if the vest makes me safer on the road. I have no stats or research to back this up, other than reading somewhere a common reason from cagers hitting a motorcyclist is "I didn't see him".

The fact it makes me feel safer (whether delusional or not) is justification enough to wear it. After all, motorcyclists don't do themselves any favours with a propensity to wear black or dark clothing.

[klingon]

Where can I get one?

Motomail.

You're not telling me I'm the only one who goes into Motomail and sets all their display vests flashing just for fun?

[Skyryder]

Sounds a bit like one of the Four Horsemen.


Skyryder

[Mikkel]

I actually just got to thinking - shouldn't the title be "Where is the Taste Police..."?

Not to piss on anyone's parade of course...

[alanzs]

I ride in a hi viz yellow full suit from aerostich. Great suit and I can always see my suit in the garage. Bloody thing almost glows! It's my banana suit... :woohoo:

[klingon]

I ride in a hi viz yellow full suit from aerostich. Great suit and I can always see my suit in the garage. Bloody thing almost glows! It's my banana suit... :woohoo:

Go the banana brigade! :woohoo: We should start a club.

[James Deuce]

Please do! Then you could all hang out together at a hi-vis pub somewhere and drink low alchohol hi-vis beer, and munch on hi-vis low fat bar snacks.

[Cheshire Cat]

Go the banana brigade! :woohoo: We should start a club.

YEAH!! :banana: :banana: :banana: http://www.pic4ever.com/index-15.htm

[cs363]

I actually just got to thinking - shouldn't the title be "Where is the Taste Police..."?

Not to piss on anyone's parade of course...


Or perhaps "Where are the Taste Police Persons" ?

You are quite correct Mikkel, no doubt Hitcher is mortified having made this basic linguistic error.
No doubt he was thinking of the Police as individuals rather than an organisation which should be in the singular as you have correctly noted.


:whistle: :rofl:


I put this down to the horrific effects of viewing the previously mentioned fluoroluminescent vest.

[cs363]

Please do! Then you could all hang out together at a hi-vis pub somewhere and drink low alchohol hi-vis beer, and munch on hi-vis low fat bar snacks.



Sounds like an outtake from that film Tron.... :laugh:

[Ojai]

Not just a flouro vest was spied. Not just a flouro vest whose markings were in the shape of an X. Oh noes.

I've come over all tremulous recalling that memory.

No. It was a flouro vest in the shape of a cross with...

Coloured lights.

Blue ones. And other shades too, but my retinas were scarred after the first assault.

I saw him commuting too. It was amazing.

[Highlander]

"Oh noes."?

OK - who hacked Hitcher's Account?

I'm thinking he left it logged on and Mrs Hitcher is quietly having a laugh at his expense in the background.

[Hitcher]

Sounds like an outtake from that film Tron.

Please be very careful where you go with that.

[Hitcher]

I saw him commuting too. It was amazing.

"Amazing" isn't the adjective that I used at the time.

[James Deuce]

It was more of a verb.