The discovery

[dpex]

Andrew, aged 21. Shall we say, mentally challenged and has a seriously cleft pallet which makes him talk strangely. Only friend in the world is his doctor, whom he visits, once a week.

On this visit Andrew is full of excitement.

'Morning Andrew. Have to be quick today, I have a busy schedule.'

'Yes Doctor,' he replies, surging with excitement, 'but I have this most amathing dithcovery to tho you.' Whereupon Andrew produces a matchbox, which he opens and plucks out a huge, black spider and places it on the doctor's desk.

The doctor frowns while Andrew stands to attention and yells, 'Thpider. Quick Mart-th!'

To the doctor's utter amazing the spider starts to march across the desk.

'Adrew!,' he said, genuinely amazed. 'That's quite amazing how did you....'

'No! No! Doctor,' yelled Andrew. 'That'th not my dithcovery!'

Andrew grabs the spider, rips off all it legs, plonks it back on the desk and standing once again to attention yells, 'Thpider. Quick Mart-th.'

The doctor frowns. 'Andrew? What 'is' your discovery?'

'Well Doctor. I've dithcovered that when ya pull off a thpider's legs, it goes deaf.'

[dpex]

A vacuum salesman turns up at Andrew's house and quickly realizes he needs to find a more on-to-it person at home.

'You got any family?' he asks.

'Well thereth's only Mum 'n Dad but theys even worthe than me.'

'No one else, huh?'

'Well....There's my thithter!'

'Aha! And is she at home?'

Andrew looks a little sad and replies, 'No tthee's at the univerthity.'

'At the university?' replies the salesman. 'And what's she doing there?'

After a short pause Andrew replies, 'Tthee's in a jar.'

[dpex]

Andrew finds a friend and goes flatting. His friend, Charlie, clearly spoken but is so crippled and bent he takes ten minutes to cover two metres using his crutches.

One morning Andrew and Charlie are going through the Sunday Times a spot an ad from a 'faith-healer'. The ad asserts he , via God, can cure anything. And so the boys ring and book a session.

The faith-healer welcomes them into his small church and tells both to go to the far end and into the 'alcove-of-God'; close the curtains and wait while he prays for their salvation.

They do this and the faith-healer begins a vast and booming request of God to heal these two souls.

Ten minutes of this and finally the healer says, in a booming, ringing voice, 'Andrew! Charlie! I have spoken to the lord for your salvation and he has told me you are cured. Charlie! Throw away your crutches! Andrew! Say something in a clear, ringing voice!'

Some seconds pass until Andrew, in a rather surprised voice shouts out, 'Yeth Thir! Charlie'th fallen over.'

[sil3nt]

Took me awhile but i finally got the second one.

[yungatart]

Took me awhile but i finally got the second one.

...you're Andrew, aren't you?

[sil3nt]

...you're Andrew, aren't you?Tthut up :pinch:

[dpex]

Tthut up :pinch:

Excellent riposte, Sil. Thuck him.