https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/blog.php/263-Cool-me-own-blog! Kiwi Biker - New Zealand motorcycle community en Wed, 06 May 2026 10:29:17 GMT vBulletin 20 https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/images/BP-Brown/misc/rss.jpg https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/blog.php/263-Cool-me-own-blog! https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/308-Cool-me-own-blog! Thu, 15 Nov 2007 18:06:07 GMT Oh my God - where to even start!!!!!!!!!

OK - I've left Paris. The public transport strike threatened to slow passage though the city like it'd eaten an overdose of boiled eggs. Not only would the city be fed on them till it was blocked up - it would have a few shoved up the Khyber Pass for good measure to make sure no-one was going anywhere. But in true Paris style there were a few surprises. One of them was the beautiful dichotomy between the total and utter lack of available taxis (for us hoity toity business travellers), and the corresponding lack of other traffic on the road.

The streets of Paris normally have an incredible density of high speed, self propelled, manned, wheeled missiles hurtling around the city looking for yet another excuse to dance with death as they meet back at the Arc de Triumph. Yesterday... relative silence. Not the deathly silence that follows gran accidentally farting at Christmas dinner, just a relative silence, nice flowing traffic with spaces actually visible between the cars. So it was a nice, quick and easy ride to the airport once I'd actually managed to cad a lift with a colleague who is obviously a lot better at taxi booking than I am. I blame her looks although how they translate down a phone line I'm not sure.

Anyway - get to the airport and I'm bracing myself for a phone call from a customer that's not very happy for a variety of reasons. So when I find a seat and get spread out at the airport... the phone eventually rings and it's the salesman ringing to tell me the customer is especially upset because I hadn't gone to see them. The trivial situation of me not actually being able to get from the customer site to the airport afterwards seems to have been lost on them, the fact I would have had to sleep in their foyer, or on their front steps or... somewhere on their premise was somehow lost on them. I personally think they were looking for a fight, I personally think they had one. I'm not 100% sure.

I was on the phone and they were rabbiting away in French. To make it worse it was costing me quite a lot of money to be shouted at in a language I didn't know. I found that after a while my ears went numb and I was able to phase out and watch the airport wildlife as it paraded past in its multicultural glory. Every now and then I'd hear my name go roaring past in the tirade coming out of that tiny handheld speaker. Or the company name... which was even worse to me for some reason.

Anyway. The phone call ended and I quote "The customer is not very happy and I'll need to ring you back with an update". Remarkably I'd worked that out for myself but the assurances were nice.

So... onto the plane, take off, and fly directly to Amsterdam.. via Zurich... it was snowing in Zurich and the little ice crystals looked really cool when lit up by the strobe on the end of the wing. We're hurtling along at whatever speed and the flash of light is so damned fast the snowflakes are frozen in the air (terrible pun I know). I was fascinated.

Off the plane at Zurich and the very design of the airport makes transport between flights so easy. We were all like little wheels in a great big machine. How very Swiss. By contrast - my overwhelming memory of Zurich was the need for a pee while I walked toward the next flight. Never mind. It's a nice place.

Off to Amsterdam, the plane empties and we all head out to find the hotel bus. I see a quite senior guy from a major company we work with. I say hi - we get talking and start to feel the cold (It's heading into Winter up here... unlike NZ...). We get a cab, the bus is 20 minutes away and I can't be arsed waiting in the cold. Jim (cos that's his name... "Jim") and I get in the cab and the driver starts going on about how he'd been waiting at the airport for 4 hours and it was a short drive and he was going to give us a "fast fare". The poor man - stuck in a job he didn't enjoy, driving around in the cold, being forced to complain to complete stranger... and lacking an audience that cares even 1/2 a jot. It was funny though and oh how we laughed over the beer at the bar.

It's worth noting the theme of my travels this time is "things going wrong"... or "It's all my fault". It's not really my fault but I seem to have the aire of disaster following me so when the loverly bar lady smashed a glass behind the bar quite spontaneously it was no surprise. When my email refused to go keeping me awake to 4:00am trying to re-organise my travel schedule, when I got a knock on the door this morning by the nice man coming to fix the broken bulb in my shaving mirror and he smashed said mirror, and then he also smashed the replacement mirror... and... and ... and... it's just a lovely big pile of funny smelly poo really.

I'm glad I have my view on the world because I'm sure it would be enough to make some paranoid. C'est la vie. I need to make it home yet.

So here I sit. Timeless and location free. My system has no idea what time and where I am. I was adjusting quite nicely till my little sojourn into the wonderful world of broken email last night at a critical time - a time I'm trying to change flights, book hotels etc to make the most of what's turning out to be a trip which is sadly a complete waste of time. 2 weeks travelling around the world and through no-one's fault (except by default mine) various meetings have been poorly supported, events cancelled etc. Next week is looking better. In 24 hours this week ends. I close the curtains on its reign of disaster and all those other desperate turns of phrase that help me express how absolutely less than average it really is.

So - next week... looking quite bright really. I've just received word I have a very meaningful Monday and Tuesday which both promise to pay for the trip (Gawd they need to...!) .

Hopefully I haven't just put the curse on it. ]]> ManDownUnder https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/308-Cool-me-own-blog! https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/307-Cool-me-own-blog! Tue, 13 Nov 2007 23:14:22 GMT Ok - this is one of "those" trips. I don't care what I do, where I go or what I plan - something's going to go wrong... and I've decided to both ignore it carrying on regardless, and personally take credit for the facile wake of destruction spreading behind me.

Arriving home from Vancouver a week or two ago - the weather turned to poo (note the title). Not so unusual in Spring of course but I had a guy in tow arriving to promote NZ. It'd be nice to have someone see that land of my birth at its shining best after the Kapa Haka send off mentioned in another pile of my drivel up or down the page.

But no. As we arrived - the rain clouds arrived... and (I hasten to add) as he left - the clouds left. Bugger.

So all travel issues previously documented notwithstanding, I'm in Paris - and there's a public transport strike starting about... 4 hours ago. Paris is either going to be clean and clear due to everyone quite rightly working from home (face it - there people are FRENCH... the care not what their employers think... they do as they damned well please).

Or... and here's where my money is... the road are going to be grid locked tighter than a snappers arse. Of course they are. I have a meeting at a customer tomorrow where I can spend 40 to (gulp) 80 minutes in a taxi getting there, deliver good news to them that someone stuffed up and I'm going to wear part of that financial loss (spending money) then head back from whence I came and more so I can get to the airport and fly directly from here to Amsterdam... via Zurich.

Go on - I dare you. Get a map, plot the course Paris, Zurich then onto Amsterdam and you get a measure of the amount of cynicism just oozing from the cold text on the screen before you.

No - I'm serious... I dare you. People like me are saving money and adding tons of crap to the atmosphere all at the same time. A cynical part of me wants to miss that flight, so I have to take a train, get there quicker, more comfortably albeit at the extra cost of EUR200 or so (so I'm told - I hope that's first class... I'm a first class kinda guy unless I'm awake or being ravaged in my sleep... go figure)

Anyhoo... back to the problems in my life... the disasters.

I got an email from my darling little sister saying my Bro in Law and my Mother had a falling out... just in time for a major family event. It carried the implied "HELP!!!!!" that emails of this kind from darling little sisters do.

Not there to really do much - but then I'm on email from Paris which is every bit as close as being on email from anywhere else. I await the next chapter.

Personal highlights though.

I'm forced to work with some pretty cool people. I enjoy humour and the weird and wonderful things that goes on around it. A key contact of mine Maria suggested a group of us head out to dinner so we did, except the other one in the group (a Frenchman...!) didn't show up. Aaaa well. Just she and me (makes "we" - sorry it rhymes and I've had some to drink so I had to) sat and ate in a great little restaurant and watched the Eiffel tower light up for ten minutes every hour on the hour.

Good fun and we played a mind game "My ship came into London and it was carrying.." you then start on the list of goodies on the ship, each starting with the next letter of the alphabet. I'm not sure how the description sounds, but I really want to play that game while reasonably under the influence and write down what comes out. Then play it again stone cold sober - and again, transcribe it.

I think I'm more creative (read funnier, better looking and irresistible to women) while moderately under the influence and here's a chance to prove it!

So - who's up for it? Hmmm?

Over and under - it's late, I'm tired and I really should get back to my email.
MDU ]]> ManDownUnder https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/307-Cool-me-own-blog! https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/305-Cool-me-own-blog! Sun, 11 Nov 2007 21:59:48 GMT That sums up my second leg. I've just spent an additional 14 hours on a plane (following on from the original 10, and a 7 hour layover in Singapore) and to be honest - I feel just "dislocated".

My body has no idea what time it is, according to one clock it is currently 7:25 in the morning (NZT), I came via Singapore and stopped there long enough to marvel at the wonders of a 7 eleven store selling all manner of Asian American goods (Twinkies - remember those?), but I stopped there for 7 hours so I ate lunch when I should have Singapore time, then proceeded to get into a mostly empty plane bound for gay Paris!

It's night out there, and I've got that morning after a large party feeling. Time means absolutely nothing. Very strange but I know I'm in no fit state to operate heavy machinery (rules out the RF...!)

And the other joy of long haul travel for me. Travel snot. Crispy crunchy nasal mucus, dehydrated from the constant air conditioning. It's so dry it has those sharp edges and won't release from the walls of your nose except under extreme force. This translates to a blocked nose that either does nothing when you blow it, or the snot chips ricochet around the wee toilet cubicle at (only just) subsonic speeds. They certainly test the toughness of the surfaces in the aircraft toilets - I'm surprised they're not all chipped and shredded from years of use.

It also explains the crunching noise when you walk in. I'm guessing I'm not the first person to blow their nose on this flight.

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa c'est la vie (I am going to France after all... might as well speaka the lingo. Parlay voo Fronsay?) As the great Steve Martin says - it's like they have a different word for everything. Never mind.

Oh good, the French health authorities have decided we need to be lightly dosed in insecticide - so they're now spraying us. It's all a plot... they just want the great unwashed to smell good (like flowers I hasten to add).

OK time to go - we're landing... something about laptops being shut down now. ]]> ManDownUnder https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/305-Cool-me-own-blog! https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/303-Cool-me-own-blog! Sun, 11 Nov 2007 01:11:16 GMT Well - rather than write huge outpourings of woe and angst, it's probably easier for me to do this blow by blow while on the road so the detail is preserved, and the sanity (and time) of anyone wanting to have a peek will remain relatively intact also. (That didn't make perfect sense but I'm jetlagged to hell - sue me!)

So I book some flights - off the Europe pretty much on the back of a US trip, home for 6 days then lift off again for 2 weeks on and near the continent.

I never fail to be amased at travel. I've been doing it for years - I know I'm prepared for most of the weird and wonderful situations it'll throw at me but I love to find those couple of oddities that insist on crossing my path. People can just be so... strange!

Lift-off at 1:00am for Singapore meant I was tired getting on the plane. A good way to be because I can sleep. Walking down to the gate (number 2 at Auckland in case that's relevant at all - to anyone - I thought not) I met leather woman.

Leatherman - That's a useful tool which is not allowed on planes. Leather woman well she shouldn't be allowed on planes either but only because of the threat to the mental health of those around her. She looked like shed somehow removed the skin of her face, neck and shoulders, and proceeded to bake it and tan it a chocolate brown colour before replacing the newly stretched, severely aged and wrinkled cover back onto herself. She was truly scary. I'm guessing she thought it's the height of fashion (and knowing my limitations as I do - she might be at the edge of fashion - I have no idea where it is)... but I'm guessing she is simply high maintenance combined with an unhealthy dose of insecurity, and about 50 years of UV radiation. NOT pretty.

Anyway - I recovered from that shock, got on the plane and sat next to Mr and Mrs... Patel? An Indian couple that own a dairy in Nelson. Who'd have thought... my every stereotype was reinforced in one sentence and it was all I could do to suppress a wry smile. Nice people... just - well... I think it's obvious they don't get out from behind the counter much.

About 2 hours before we landed we had a meal served, food comes out, I'm watching some movie (had some good sex scenes in it...) and he leans over and offers me his margarine.

Nothing else, just his margarine. I wasn't eating my toast, wasn't doing anything in fact - nothing to do with margarine anyway. But there it was, offered before me, a single serving of NZ Margarine for me to have if I wanted it. Not having anything in mind to do with said margarine (well - nothing decent, and certainly not involving him...!) I politely declined and went back to the movie, trying to catch up on the plot (like I was watching it for the plot to start with...!)

Aaaaa yes. Travel. Welcome to the weird and wonderful real world. C'mon in - the water's lovely. Actually, sitting here in the lounge in Singapore Airport I can confirm the water is actually plentiful - and outside. It's CHUCKING down.

At least it's warm. Next stop Paris. Not warm and according to weather.com it's not going to be dry either.

Oh Joy

MDU over and under! ]]> ManDownUnder https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/303-Cool-me-own-blog! https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/298-Cool-me-own-blog! Fri, 02 Nov 2007 17:29:42 GMT I'm in Vancouver at the mo and I shot down to breakfast the other morning to the musical sound of kiwis talking at the next table. I stopped and said hi got talking and they're the Air NZ Kapa Haka team here in town for a couple of things - including the send off of the flight I'm on tonight back to Auckland.

Man - if anyone in here works for Air NZ say thanks to them. It is SO nice to hear and meet people from home while on the road, and to be given a full Maori send off tonight... damn - I'm just fizzing about it. It's funny... while in NZ it's part of the scenery and Kapa Haka's something you show to tourists, but even though I have zero Maori blood in me... I'll be walking tall getting on that plane tonight. Sitting here smiling just thinking about it ]]> ManDownUnder https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/298-Cool-me-own-blog! https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/149-Cool-me-own-blog! Tue, 29 May 2007 04:57:13 GMT Wow - where to start?

I'm in the air over the US somewhere between Austin and Washington having just spent a long weekend in Texas with some great people. I'm short on sleep, looking a bit rough around the edges and I loved every minute of it. So here's what happened:

I was in Paris. A lovely place. We got down to breakfast and sit down. Help yourself type arrangement so... I do! I get the bowl, load up on some cereal and into it. Very very nice. Good for me and proud of doing that instead of the Bacon and Eggs that are OH so appealing. Now... coffee... I put my hand up, get the wait staff's attention, and ask for a cup... she points to the (cereal fouled) bowl. Ahhh... it's actually the cup huh? aaa well... can I ... err ... have another one? All good. I'm a bit buggered so I have a coffee... and another one. Feeling slightly wired we leave and head in for the meetings we have coming up.

We went into the office for the various meetings as we'd arranged and it was hot (coming up Summer) and there is this thing in France which says you need to look good (read "suit and tie") for meetings. So... suit and tie it is. Damn it's hot but that's the price of fame I guess. We rock on in, meet some colleagues of sorts (a sister company we work alongside) and they take us out for coffee. Fair enough... that's my 3rd coffee of the day (although on a dosage basis, it'd be about 7). I've got the "can't sit still" shakes happening but that's ok. Been there before - must find water and give it an hour or two. It'll work itself out.

We have a very productive meeting from 11:00am till 12:00 midday, and when that's done toddle off to find the people I'd arranged an afternoon meeting with. See if they want to join us for lunch, we need to finalise a time for the meeting, and confirm the agenda (there is a 3rd party/customer joining us)... only to find oh, Laurent is on holiday today. SURPRISE! Hmmm... 1/2 my Paris visit thrown to the 4 winds but then... who am I to deprive a man of his downtime?

So... back to the hotel, clean up/dress down and go see the sights. If you were looking for a big red bus... would you do it under a sign "Rouge Car"?. Because that's where it is! Those crafty French decided that a car would be called a voiture, so a bus could be called a ... "car". Oh goody. So after the confusion fades we go find a stop for the big red cars, aka double decker, open topped buses and head off for Friday afternoon's tour of Paris. The earphones don't work so well... or I should say - they don't work at all... so we get off that bus, wander around in the blazing hot sun and see some sights on foot. It's reasonably warm but I'm in t-shirt and shorts. So I'm fine. My offsider however... longs and shoes. He's starting to sweat and keeps going on about needing to buy some shorts. No worries says I... but we don't get around to it.

Back on the bus - see some more sights, and getting on (2/3 of the way?) I notice the weather... quickly heading our way... looking very dark, quite ominous and the clouds are kind of "glowing". I know there is a name for it when clouds fluoresce but I'm not sure what it is. I also know it means there is a TON of electrical activity in there. And after the whole damned sky started to light up I knew I was right, and about to get wet (top deck, open topped bus...!). All except the front two rows of seats that are under a canopy/awning thing - so I head up there. Awesome.

The rain comes down, I'm sitting pretty seeing the sights (well, those I can still see through the water) and then the bus is heading along the side of the Louvre... arriving at the next stop. On with the brakes, the bus comes to a stop and my feet... feel... wet.

Hmmmm - look down and the water (nicely collecting on the open top of the bus till now) had all come to the front when the brakes went on. I love physics. The wind had turned, I was starting to get a wet back and because we were no longer heading forwards the rain (coming from behind) was turning into a bastard of a soaking with every gust.

Time to head downstairs. Run down the (very slippery) steps and grab a seat, right under a leak coming through from the upper deck. bugger... move again. So now - everyone is downstairs we can't see a damned thing out the front of the bus and we're waiting the next 15 mins or so till we get to the stop where we got on... so we can head back to the hotel. If we miss it we're going to get wet... very very wet. So I walk forward a bit and... the bus brakes a little to turn to the right...

*SPLOOOSSSSHHHHH*. Ahhh yes. Physics again. Bus goes right, water goes left. The stairwells are on the left and the ever deepening pool on the top deck was liberated when it found the stairwells en masse (note the French term there - I'm kinda proud of that). Anyway - back to the *SPLOOOSSSSHHHHH*. Water heading down, around the stairwell and launching itself across the bus just behind me (HA - MISSED!). It does it again and again - the driver opens the doors to let the water out and we're all good. Arche de Triumphe ahead (I can see it coming up).. that's our stop so we bail off the bus, train it back to the hotel and dry out that last little bit. No worries.

I pack up, head out to my next hotel near the airport. Finally - I've made it. I'm in THE Paris Hilton. The hotel has a number of parallels to the personality that become immediately obvious. The first is the entrance - a revolving door (appropriate - no?), entering into a well used but apparently maintained entrance way. There were other parallels but I cannot think of them at the mo. I remember they were funny (to me anyway).

My email's not working (at the hotel... not sure if it's working yet at all actually) so I'm forced to have an early night. It's only 10:30 when I call it a day. I need to be up at 4:25 the next morning. It's important so I ring down for a wake up call AND set my phone alarm. Happy, and tired - I sleep... till 3:55. Those crazy French decided the nominal 6 hours I gave myself was far too much, and pared it back by 1/2 hour. It doesn't sound much, but trust me, running low on sleep, with a maximum of 6 hours available... every 1/2 hour is a big deal. Or not if you're in Paris Hilton.

Anyway - I roll over and get back to the land of nod (very easily I might add) and... (5 mins later ANOTHER BLOODY CALL). This is the follow up call to make sure I hadn’t missed the wake up call. I just managed to stay this side of "the sweary line" and let them know I actually asked for 4:25, but just cancel it etc. And went back to sleep... again.... YEESH!

So, I wake with the alarm, dress, pack the 3 things left outstanding (on the floor in my way to the door so I don't/can't forget them) and we're off. Signed out of the hotel and onto the flight to Austin Texas for Memorial Day weekend. Paris to Munich to Chicago to Austin (find the map... backwards to start with... !). Anyway, we're 25 late taking off, and it's was tight connection to start with! 45 mins to go from plane to plane just got reduced to about 10, and by the time we'd landed and taxied it was only 15 minutes - for an international connection in some other part of the biggest airport I think I've seen (yes - bigger than Heathrow, and probably Frankfurt - this is like Ben Hur big!)

So, on the way in I'm getting concerned - I call the Flight Hostess over and let her know and she just smiles... oh that's easy, you'll be fine. I'm not too confident personally and am making plans to spend a long weekend in Munich (oh yay...) rather than in Austin with friends. There's the usual range of garbled announcements on the way to the airport and one of them mentions Chicago... my next stop. We land, we taxi, I'm concerned (realising I actually do only have 15 mins to connect). As we're getting off the plane I asked "What was that about Chicago?". "Oh there's a van waiting for passengers connecting"

I see the man with the van at the bottom of the steps and I indicate to him I'm one such passenger. He tells me to get in, and proceeds to drive off, asking for my baggage tag information (which I actually do keep handy). He radios it ahead and we have an escort leading us across the tarmac from Plane A to Plane B (or so I think)... nope - have to do the clearance through scanning luggage etc again so I get taken to the back door, the man scans my passport (just me), checks my bags (just mine) and I'm lead up the back way to the gates to the plane.

Another baggage guy scans the bags and says something cheerfully to me... in German. So I simply say "English?". He says "No definitely German" and carried it off beautifully. I found the mythical German with a sense of humour! I was stunned - I thought this was someone that existed on in the mind of those seeking the Holy Grail... but NO!.

I laughed and thanked him, then asked - where's gate 53 (5 mins to go...!) he smiles and confirmed "next to gate 52"... again- beautiful delivery. The humour of the situation is completely lost in this writing I'm sure. But the Hostess all the way back then was right I did make it... with one last final hitch... my seat had been given to someone else. It beeped, reported an error at the gate and the guy (another guy - back to the mechanistic Germanic way) said I had been upgraded... to Business ...to cross the Atlantic to Chicago. Happy camper... very happy camper.

Bugger!.

Next instalment. Keeping it Weird in Austin! ]]> SOHC https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/149-Cool-me-own-blog! https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/135-Cool-me-own-blog! Sun, 20 May 2007 07:29:35 GMT Well I made it with the usual range of strange goings on along the way. Being strapped into a chair for 10 hours straight, minimal access to any exercise at all, and the occasional pee break between movies isn't my personal idea of a good time. Combine that with the prospect of another 12 1/2 hours of the same to follow, and a guy somewhere upwind farting every now and then and you have my flight in a nutshell.

I got to Singapore - "You wish to buy duty free sir?" I assume it was rhetorical, but I answered anyway because the nice lady had obviously gone well out of her way to speak Engrish. So "Yes please" was uttered, and the confusion began.

What did I like (t'was a wine shop), oooo red... I like this and that - full bodies, not too acid yada yada yada... all good. I found one. I'm travelling with someone so (thinks I) I'll buy something else too, and he can pack it for me. Hardly a drug ring but it's kinda fun to this I have my own mule.

"Where you flying to?" asked my new friend, being very helpful, and giving Engrish a damned good go.

"Here to Frankfurt and on to Prague"

(From here on I'll do the Engrish to English translations for easy of reading, and an inability to really recall what she said.)

"Oh dear. You can not carry liquids onto those flights" and uttered something about liquids greater than one litre being a problem if you're heading onto more than just one flight. For some reason flying from A (Singapore) to B is fine, but if there is a B to C leg the liquids magically get transmuted into something far more sinister and the liquid police come and take it off me for fear of liquiding the plane out of the sky.

I wonder if this is a modern day water into wine story? I digress.

So - sod it. OK - sorry for wasting her time, I bow out of the shop and head onto the iPod shop where my beloved will be treated to a 2GB nano thingy with ear buds, downloads and ... stuff. It plays music for Gods sake... it make it easy and it looks good. What more is there? ooo plenty more... do I want this accessory? No? That one, had I considered these two and todays special is... you get the idea. No free steak knives though. A shame as I think that would have had the nice airplane people all excited when I whipped out my Ghinsu special edition and delivered a spontaneous demonstration on a Shoe, and tin can, followed by neatly chopping thin slice after thin slice off a tomato I hadn't prepared earlier.

AAAA well. So 1 iPod Nano, thankfully the 2GB one is only available is one colour so the fashion police have to speak to Apple, not I when it turns out to be a suboptimal fashion co-ordinated choice. ("I know the pink/blue/black... one would have looked nicer but it was only available in silver so I had to go with that!). Credit where it's due... my wife is a wonderfully forgiving woman, who actually complains very little, but the ability for me to predict her wants/need in the fashion arena are not increased by that fact. She just lets me off more I think.

So... NZ$207 poorer, and carrying a magic music box weighing in at about 2.3 flea farts I wonder if Gold might have been a better choice. Weight for weight it's quite possibly cheaper.

So off to the lounge. Comfy surrounding, ambient music and ... yet again... sitting down with nothing to do. Okie dokes. Maybe I'm just a whinger but this long distance travel things about as much fun as being locked in the loo with a DVD player (and no - no access to THOSE kind of movies - just an endless array of others).

The boarding call isn't made (Singapore airport doesn't do them, or maybe the lounge doesn't or... who knows) so we trot off to the gate. Stand in line... "Sorry sir - you're at Gate E20 (a long way from the lounge) you need F60 - that's a Singapore Airlines Flight - this is the codeshare flight put on by... I dunno who.

Yeah I stuffed up, wrong flight number - but I won't admit to it here.

So... the long trek back to the lounge we just came from, and (walking straight past)... a longer trek down to F60. We're running late...ish for the flight but they didn't read out names and make us do the Airport Walk of Shame where they threaten to take you off the plane, read the flight number and name you. The passengers at the gate already all get to have a giggle at your expense as they see you show up... "the named one". It's happened a couple of times before, and I've found a "who cares" approach is best. Total nonchalance, an air of "of course they'll wait for me" and if anyone asks just say "I am a little behind schedule".

"A little behind schedule" implies you actually have a schedule, are therefore organised and did your best. It also implies (quite nicely) whatever you chose to do was more important than making the 349 other passengers wait, thereby belittling them in 6 words or less"

Compare that to "Sorry I'm running late". Disorganised, out of control and a pain in the bum to the other 349 who now look down on you instead.

Anyway - on to the plane again and another 12 1/2 hours later we're in Frankfurt! YAY. No more mystery farting on the plane either - a pleasant change.

Another lounge, another wait, and this time I get word the house we're trying to sell has an offer on it, can I please receive a fax, countersign and fax it back. OK... find out fax number and with clinical German efficiency the fax starts to arrive and get handed to me page by page... mmm hmmm... this is putting me behind schedule here (phrase used again for effect...) and by the time the last page (14) is here- they're countersigned but there is no way I'll be able to fax it back in time... or the plane WILL leave without be.

The German's do not do disorganised... or behind schedule. You're either part of the punctual in crowd or you're not. Simple. Not excuses entertained and no correspondence entered into. So, fax in hand - onto the plane. I'll fax it from the Hotel.

Land in Prague. Find bags, buy the duty free booze, pass through customs into the taxi and we're off to the hotel. THAT was straight forward. Excellent.

Get to the hotel. For a mere 10 Euros a night I managed to get a room upgrade via an internet special, and it is still cheaper than the "Special Conference rate". Whoever negotiated that deserves to suffer an extended bout of humiliation... and they will... but I arrived, checked in, got the room key and off to the room, tired (30ish hours of travel does that... go figure) and the key will not open the door.

NOT a good start... but - press on. No point bitching and moaning, just fix it. Back to the lobby (bags and parcels all in tow)... room, door, key doesn't work... etc. No problems - this man will come with you... and he does, nice guy too, very chatty and good English! So he has this little black box with him, and proceeds to insert a key card on a wire into the door, and reprogram it.

That's a first for me - normally it's just a new key but hey - what do I know?

Enter the room and - not the one I asked for. Small - two single beds (I do NOT do single beds... they hurt). So I err.... hesitate - do I make a fuss?

HELL YES! Off to the lobby (bags left in room) and politely ask them to check the room vs. the printout. Yes right room, printout is wrong (as they are... who'd ever order anything based on the description), and the room described doesn't exist. Hoooo kay! So they explain no, but they find me another room like the one my colleague has - but it's one of the ones that has not been done up yet. So I ask to see it anyway.

It's a hell of a lot nicer, a large bed and I'll take it! I slowly (through my sleep deprived senses) work out they've paid good money to downgrade the rooms, making them less useful to the average international traveller and it doesn't make sense. Who am I to complain though - I got what I wanted - eventually.

I head downstairs to collect my luggage from the other room and lo - the card key doesn't work... again... AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH. Those that know me will realise I'm slow to anger. I can get frustrated but deal with that in my own precious way (taking the piss out of people works well I find). This last incident did push my buttons a bit though.

Right - off to fax my 14 page contract back to NZ and get a house sale process kicked off in earnest. That's 210 Czeck Kronors please. (Quick mental calc... divide by 25 is about 8.5 Euros, doubled, is 19ish NZD). Yep ok. Sounds reasonable. "Oh you have more than one page?" (I'm not kidding...).

Yes says I... 14 of them.

That's 210 CZK per page...mmm hmmm... so 19ish times 14 is ummm - a problem! About 235.50 problems actually (in NZD speak). Golly says I. And it's urgent, and has to go, and is holding up a big sale and and... and...she said - I'll use the lower rate for you - 80CZK/page. Thank God for that - only 90 bucks to send the fax... at least reasonable. (How do I make that look as cynical as I meant it?) Dunno - I won't try. It's back from lala land but not too far this side of the border.

So I ask if the fax can go on a high res setting - it needs to be very clear (lots of fine print). "We only have one fax machine". I accept the win I've already made reducing the insane rate to a mere mentally unstable one... I say ok - send it. They did.

I'm beginning to suspect the die has been cast for this trip. So I go back to the room, catch an hours sleep the alarm fails and I sleep for 5 1/2. Not good, but no surprise, ring home things are good. The Mother in Law is there so my wife has some family help looking after the 3 kids while I'm away. Happy about that too.

Dinner, meet some old acquaintances, speak to a mad as a meat axe Englishman who does QC on Liquified Natural Gas, working 6 out of 8 weeks in an armed compound in Nigeria (as one does...) and I'm off to bed. End of day, midnight - I'll put that one down to a hell of an experience...

So here I sit - beginning of day two in Prague. I had breakfast and while walking along the line of food I helped myself to the various bits and bobs... and LO... the hot food... isn't! HUH?????

So a quick analysis of what's going on quickly revealed the people on the kitchen may well be that same people that decided on the expensive hotel downgrade. The put the food in big stainless bain-marie trays, under heat lamps. No heating underneath them of course - they're under the heat lamps... but then they put the lids on.

To spell it out - here's what happens. The lid (stainless steel) reflects the light coming at is making the surroundings bask in the thermal red glow of the lamps. Everyone walking past gets the impression stuff is hot - they can feel the heat! Hell you even burn your hands on the lids taking them off … but is the FOOD warmed at all??? ... no...

No heat at all. Nothing underneath it, and no heat can get in the top.

But the coffee was good - I'll focus on that. Welcome to Prague. ]]> ambler https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/135-Cool-me-own-blog! https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/119-Cool-me-own-blog! Thu, 10 May 2007 01:05:41 GMT Let's face it - it IS the big question.

The simple biological answer (not to be contemplated by anyone "visual") is that Mum and Dad got it on about 9 months before your first breath and the rest is a function of nutrition and safety. I'm inclined to accept that is a matter of history although all the more remarkable in my case as Mum and Dad currently find it hard to knowingly be in the same town, let alone the same bed swapping genetic material.

I'd like to ask the question in respect of KB. Why bother - why come back? Why find one's/your/my self in the situation of having posted 8,110 entries, each at a minimum spacing of 60 seconds. That's 5 days, 15 minutes, and 10 seconds SOLID! There must be easier ways to earn green rep surely?

KB was a little pace when I got here. A small village in the world wide community and I was number 263 to move it (just behind KATWYN in the line to get my KB passport, and a little further back from #253 aka "crash" - Spanks test login who keep flashing her tits). I heard Motu grumbling away just behind me too - I think he wanted to meet crash.

KB started off innocuously enough. When I got here it was a lot of m/c chat, where do I get one of those, a better way to do this and that etc. Very functional, and an excuse to actually do stuff on my bike that I thus far not been able to do - ride it socially. Commuting only takes the edge off real quick. I did a single track day back when (6 months after I got the RF) and found it was a lot quicker than I am. I met Spank for the first time - proud of the fact he'd never driven a car, and I personally caused complete and utter havoc on the track being the all too considerate backmarker.

"Want to go past? OK... I'll move over". FROSTY gave me a very kind word about NOT EVER DOING THAT AGAIN in that unique menacing/smiling genuinely wanting to help way of his. Hmmmm - live and learn. I got quicker as the day went on - significantly quicker as I learned the limits of the machine, the brakes (which I cooked..) and myself. A great day out and I went home smiling, full of testosterone and horny as a goat on weed (is it only me it does that to... really?)

But I digress. I'd finally met the people. Some of "them out there" that actually existed. Not bad people either - not your usual computer geek/nerdling types that would be scared of a chainsaw (but make a damned fine latte complete with sprinkles on the top). Turn out I might just fit it.

So a couple of others come along, and the more I chat the more I realise we can help each other in life - even beyond motorcycling (*gasp*!!!). We grew and grew. Some of us staying online 24x7 it seems, other popping in for a hard core "nuts on bolts" question then whipping out to the grease and spanners again.

It has grown to the point where, as in any society of reasoable size, we have the wqhole dynamic. Friends, acquiantances, those you can live without, and those you'd cheerfully see frozen into a glacial ice flow. Such is life. We've had marriages, divorces, seen the pain of others, the birth of children and the death of friends and loved ones. We've seen more death among our peers than most other groups though.

That's something I personally want to change.

We have the confusion of society against us, labelling us mad for sitting astride those powerful death traps. Strangely I think it binds us together. There is a a family that is motorcycling that I didn't experience till I hit KB. Now - I know if I need something up or down the country, I only need ask and reasonable efforts will be made. Sometimes unreal efforts are made (eh FROSTY - the day your house was done up?). And rightly so. We see in others those things we want to nurture and support... and the things is - we do - remarkably often.

We're an odd bunch. Mostly extroverted, not too risk averse, a higher proportion of lesbians than youd find in day to day life (or maybe just a higher number of outspoken ones). We have the stirrers that poke a bit of fun at things, and those that reliably bite. The real wind up merchants that get me seeing red from time to time, and those that are up and coming and while their naievity is refreshing, there is so much life experience to be passed on - all the while looking for anything they have to teach me.

We teach each other how to stay alive on the roads, how to improve our lot in life, how to make the best of a bad situation, and how to make the best of a good one.

So - coming full circle - why are we here? Well - I can only answer that in the first person, So I'll rephrase - why am I here?

Community. Leaving/not coming back would be my loss, at my expense, and would be somewhat akin to moving towns. I have my friends here. I like it here. I'm comfortable here.

Besides - where else do people post so many pictures of boobs from all over the web for me (and the lesbians) to enjoy. Hey - I wonder if that's what they come for?.

MDU
Mood today - thoughtful. ]]> wari https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/119-Cool-me-own-blog! https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/112-Cool-me-own-blog! Tue, 08 May 2007 01:08:07 GMT Well - today's a typical day really. Nothing serious going on (in my mind) but theres enough going on to sink the average frigate (or at least help the NZ Navy ones break down)

Lets see - there's the upcoming trip for work. Auckland, Prague, Virginia, Boston, Austin (Texas), Houston, Austin again... and home again... and to be honest the bit I'm looking forward is the home again. Round the world yippee... NOT

A few company sponsored nights out on the piss won't hurt of course. I have "Channel and Relationships" responsibilities - read "get 'em drunk - make sure they're happy... and work will pay the bill"). Should be good for a laugh on some days, and the Texas women are always lovely through beer goggles. Get 'em drunk and see what happens LOL... (no no no - I'm married - but it's fun to lead 'em on).

My wife asked last night if I was looking forward to it. Errr... no. I've done this 4, 5, 6 times before (probably more) and the prospect of sitting on a plane for 24 hours fills me with the same kind of thrill you get when you realise you've had about 5 too many prunes. Something's going to happen - it's going to be exciting... but it's not a GOOD exciting, and you're not sure how you could share it with anyone else.

Aaaa well - think of the duty free!

So that's going on. 10 days to lift off, and I don't give a rats butt (told ya I was spoiled)

OK, the other thing - we're selling a house. Hopefully going to make some good money on it (read 6 figure profit) and we have someone all lined up to buy it and ... the council decided to put a flood plain warning on the LIM putting everyone off. Jumped up pack of evil eyed little toadies.

Why not have a meeting about something useful and real... I mean the projection is based on Global Warming which (lets face it) isn't a nice thing, but is far from conclusive. So they knock about $30,000 off the value of the place all so their meetings can be compliant with something still fiercly debated in the scientific community.

Thank God they weren't in charge of Y2K (or were they - it might explain the over-reaction and fizzle that turned out to be!)

Anyway - yeah nothing going on today - nothing special anyway.

I might try to get a new back tire (or is it tyre... I can never remember) while in the US. I love the look they give me checking into the flight home when I plop a tire/tyre on the counter and ask them to check it in.

Mood today - feeling groovy. Got some last night so I'm mellow... ]]> Karma https://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/entry.php/112-Cool-me-own-blog!