Gremlin's Tall Stories

After posting some posts on KB about my wiring issue with the Zumo 550, Saturday morning rolls around. I head over to a mate, who likes wiring, and since I shouldn’t be left alone with a multimeter (and I now own one) I figure that he would be of some very useful assistance.

He shows me that there is far more to a multimeter than just measuring volts. It can even do circuit testing and other stuff (that can come when I need to know). This means I can hook into the wiring wherever, and check that between the prongs, it works. This is handy for figuring out where it’s broken. A bit of testing and he says the earth is broken, as there is no reading end to end.

Damn… worst fears confirmed, I have to pull the bike apart. Normally I never dig into my bikes, as I really don’t know what I’m doing. That sort of stuff is left to the professionals, but time is running short. This time next week the bike will be sitting in a crate, ready to head to Los Angeles for 6 weeks of riding the West Coast, Canada, Sturgis etc. New tyres on Monday, service on Tuesday, there really isn’t the time to leave the bike in the shop to find the issue, nor the cost that’s going to go with it. Never hurts knowing how your bike goes together either.

Thursday I purchased some E type sockets, for hex head bolts. I collected the BMW on Tuesday afternoon, and noticed that some of the things like gear shifter weren’t in the right place. Due to German engineering it’s a doddle to change, as it’s on a spline. Except, because it’s a BMW, the bolt is a torx head. Seriously? Who does that. More tools… mind you, a guy can never have too many tools!

Friday, I’ve decided a multimeter is going to be extremely useful, so I purchase a Uni-Trend from Dick Smith.

Back to Saturday. Returning home before midday, I flick GiJoe a txt, saying if he’s bored, he’s welcome to come over and help me pull the BMW apart. Of course, this is a subtle cry for help, but he knows I should never be left alone with tools and a desire to pull something apart.

He finishes off some work he was doing, I set to getting to the wiring. I work on a simple principle. Remove anything in the way of the wiring. The tank had to come off. To get the tank off, some extra bits of plastic came off, then I still couldn’t get the tank off. At this point, you start tugging and removing anything that’s getting in the way. Eventually I figure out a tube attached to the air filter (but ending into the tank wall) needs to come off, and I find it’s on clips. Good engineering. I finally get the tank off, still half full of fuel, so probably weighing about 20kg. I drop one bolt for a plastic piece, the bike eats it and still hasn’t been seen. This is the second one it’s eaten (it ate one on Friday night, from the GPS power cord).

I’m starting to worry the bike has an addiction.

I start tracing the wiring, which takes a while (you’ll see from the photos) and ring GiJoe to tell him we’ll probably need soldering stuff as I need to cut into wires to test them. He makes the brilliant suggestion of just prodding them with the prong. See why I told you he’s useful? I’d have cut my wiring to ribbons. He’s almost at my place anyway.

I’m starting from the battery, working my way forward, and he appears… having come in a car He takes one look, and suggests the twisted looking section up by the mount… I told you he was useful. He starts accusing me of not looking, why did I take the bike apart etc. I just looked at him, and pointed at myself… yes… I’m special like that. We pull the wire apart, cut out the bad piece, strip them back, then briefly connect them up, and sure enough, it works just like it should.

Of course, I don’t have this fancy stuff like heatshrink tubing, so off to Repco for a pack. Hair dryers don’t work as well as a paint stripping gun, so once some of it had shrunk, we figured that was enough, as the dryer would probably die first. Bit of tape over the top as insurance and plugged in to make sure. Smiles all around.

Since I’ve actually fixed the problem, now I can fit some Touratech accessories that have just arrived. A plastic headlight protector and hood (bit better than the tape I was using as a hood before) turned into a nightmare. The surround was a BMW aftermarket one, and had to be changed back to the original. 4 tiny screws on the back… of course we couldn’t get sockets into that space. GiJoe says we can get flexible extensions, that would work perfectly.

Another trip to Repco around 3.30pm. They don’t have whatever it was, so we get the flexible joint ones instead. Working on the bike, I have the brainwave to unbolt the headlight instead. A lot more fucking around, struggling like hell to get the hood screwed on, half way through the screen, and we notice the sticker that’s supposed to go on the screen to help with the glare bouncing off the plastic headlight guard. I figure it’s best to have it on the inside, so off comes the screen again. Clean it up with meths… oh, the sticker is not symmetrical… it goes on the outside. Back on with the screen, damn sticker has air bubbles, but I did my best.

GiJoe has exited stage left during this, deciding he better answer the summons of his girlfriend, leaving me to carry on… perhaps he has faith in my abilities?

The challenge now is all the pieces on the ground. They all came from somewhere, and I have to figure it out. It goes reasonably well as I laid out the parts as I took them off. The eaten bolt is luckily replaced with an identical one I must have kept when I assembled something else (probably the KTM). Sometimes I can be economical with bolts, having a few left over. You keep them all, for when others go missing. Very handy.

It’s starting to get dark around 5.30pm and I still haven’t got to the tank yet. No outside lights, on goes the headlamp and I keep going. The tank goes on, I’m amazed by the huge hole on the right side of the bike that I don’t remember being there before, and the plastic plug on the outside plastic doesn’t have something to go into. Nothing is left over… how the hell does this work? Oh well, I press on, using all bolts and finally complete the bike around 7pm. I start the bike, everything lights up and works. This mechanicking stuff is fun when it works!

Sitting on the couch this evening, writing the blog report and doing some VOIP work for a client, I remember I forgot the air filter tube, which I put to one side. It explains the enormous hole in the side of the bike, so the side panels will have to come off again. Damn annoying ones they are.

Anyway, 7 hours work, some accessories fitted and the problems fixed. Now I can go riding tomorrow and put some mileage on the bike. Yippee!