Gremlin's Tall Stories

The ride had technically begun shortly after 9pm the previous evening, after finishing work and heading home to pack. A quick dinner, packing (really should have done it the previous night, to give me some extra time) and I was heading out of Auckland shortly after 9pm with an ETA of 0015. I got a real surprise while still passing through suburbia to see a guy in a camera van hunched over his equipment, with my lights showing every little detail.

The usual route south was reasonably quiet because of the later time at night so I had a smooth run through, besides being stuck behind the odd truck in more twisty sections. There were a lot of road works in progress, and in time started to drive me nuts as the knobby tyres I had on meant I didn’t feel any need to slow down, as the road felt sealed and grip was good.

I arrived in Taupo around 0020 having mostly been slowed in road works by trucks. I checked into the Stag Park Diner (open 24/7) had a brief tour of what was what and jumped into bed. The alarm was ringing again at 7am and it was a quick shower and re-packing my gear from the aluminium luggage into a soft tail pack to reduce the weight of the bike to make it easier on the rougher sections.

When packing the bike I met Danny, who had brought his DR400 across from Gisborne on the back of a ute and was now unloading for the day’s riding. I headed into central Taupo just before 0830 to re-fuel and have a quick breakfast at the Z station. The bike is full of gas and I’ve moved off the pump to have a pie and sandwich for breakfast when a cute chickie dressed in blue over-alls and gumboots (yes, they can still look cute) arrives in her basic sedan. She heads into the pumps nearest the building which are actually quite narrow. I’m impressed by her driving until I hear a crunch.

So it appears that those big metal hoops they put in front of the pumps have a purpose. The girl backs up and chooses another pump then goes inside to pay. When she leaves I can clearly see the new scrape marks that have been added to the rear left passenger door, running the full distance of the door. Pump protection: 1, Car: 0.

No-one had been at the Mobil at the end of SH5 when passed, but returning shortly before 0900 and everyone was there and raring to go.

We headed out along SH5 but Jim had other ideas than slabbing it to the turn off so we had some fun going along the side of the road instead, across the grass and down some dirt tracks, before finally reaching the turn off to Poronui Station on Taharua Rd at 10am and where another 4-5 guys were waiting, having stayed at Rangitaiki Pub due to their shorter fuel ranges. The turnout was excellent with about 16 riders present. We had a ride briefing and I was officially given the orange vest, marking yours truly as incredibly handsome… Ok, perhaps it was just TEC? A few jokes about the fuel obsessed guys on the ride thinking a fuel tanker was present… little did they know I’d get more fun out of seeing them walk (watching them glide over obstacles has to have some sort of penalty doesn’t it?)

We headed up to Poronui Station, with me bringing up the rear, and behind a 4WD transporting a little non-legal bike. Unfortunately, heading over a bridge one of the strops lets go and the whole bike goes over on its right. We pull up past the bridge to re-secure the bike, and since it’s so light I can get it upright while Alma secures the bike. We’ve lost the rest of the bikes, but carry on, figuring there should be a corner marker when required. We see the sign for the office, so head there, but Alma’s bike gets loose on the next bridge and over on the left it goes

I’m struggling to figure this out, as the karabiner still appears intact. Once I’ve got the bike upright I watch Alma use the same hooks, but they aren’t closed, so the karabiner is able to unhook itself. Easily remedied showing her how to use alternate ways to secure the bike and a couple of the guys had headed back to find us. We headed up to the ranch/office, some small muddy hut in the middle of nowhere. Ok, that’s a small lie, it was almost palatial and very flash indeed. It’s actually probably worthwhile expanding on Poronui a bit.

Poronui (http://www.poronui.com/) is a private 5 star luxury lodge and lands mainly catering for overseas guests and offers all sorts of activities like tramping, horse riding, fishing and hunting. Accommodation is something like $1000 per person per night in the lodge (hence the overseas appeal) so we weren’t staying the night. We were however there, because Sue had been able to organise access to lands not normally open to vehicular activity, and the managers were allowing us to explore them. The property used to be owned by an individual who used it as a personal playground, but was now owned by a trust that was allowing more access. They definitely didn’t want dirt bike riders ripping the place up, but our exploring was OK.

The managers had even gone the extra mile to lay out two courses, one easier and one more tricky for those wanting a little more of a challenge. We were planning to do two laps, so I would TEC the first lap on the scenic route and then do the more advanced track afterwards. However, first things first, it was 1030 already, time for morning tea. No standard fare here… literally tea and scones (with jam and cream of course). No tea for this boy, but they had very nice lemon drink or lemonade I think, either way, it looked like it was made from scratch.

A stunning view, the weather looked good, so with morning tea over we headed out onto the gravel roads. It wasn’t far before we tackled our first water crossing, and for some, probably their first. No drama and lots of grins afterwards we carried on, with advanced riders doing the black route and the rest of us doing the blue route. We could see the others at times, and from photos afterwards, they could also see us. The TKC80s I’d fitted to the bike for the weekend were proving an excellent choice

The tracks were really spectacular, offering everything from water to clay and grass and gravel to leaf littered trails. The variety was so much fun in fact we took so long to complete one loop that it was all we could do in one day. We took a short water break by a river complete with waterfalls, and then headed back to the main office for a really scrumptious lunch of burgers? I’m not sure exactly what they were, but they had meat, sauce and some salad and I made sure I taste tested 3 just to check consistency. All were excellent There was even a little bit of space for the dessert options of baked goodness

As easy as it was to spend the entire afternoon eating and enjoying the stuff other than riding… ahem, we were indeed there for the riding, so having thanked our hosts we got on with some more of that riding stuff. Time had also been marching on, so we only left Poronui around 3pm. We headed east to Rangitaiki and despite the knobblies, I must admit I was amused to see the 250s struggling to maintain 100kph while I trotted along behind them. One of them almost had a gear malfunction with a loose strap, but was well spotted by the rider behind and warned.

Hitting SH5 we were a bit behind after sorting the loose strap but Jim was waiting. Down the main road and before we got to Rangitaiki he pulled us into a side road. He said it was a back way to the pub and if you wanted, head down this way. He advised me it got a little tight and trailie towards the end, was I sure I wanted to go? Without thinking, I simply said, “Just make sure you see me at the end”. It’s a pity I didn’t think more about it.

I then realised I hadn’t flicked the suspension to off road so stopped to do it, which let the others get ahead. Heading down the road following their dust I hit a T intersection… decisions, decisions, but then I see them off to my left. The road is quickly turning into a trail and quite undulating which isn’t exactly the home territory for a 230kg+ bike but I push forward. After a slightly rougher section they’re waiting for me to catch up and we carry on.

From there it only gets worse and the trail narrows in most places to the width of my bars, sometimes a bit less. The centre is rutted and washed out. Initially I’m able to ride along the sides smacking bushes out of the way but it only lasts so long and inevitably I find myself stuck in the middle and at a standstill. Attempts to steer out fail miserably so I drive up the centre until the particular rut ends and I carry on. More bush bashing and I don’t even have time to think about how rough it is. All energy is being expended on keeping the bike balanced and momentum up (oh, and ideally pointing the front wheel in the direction of the trail).

I reach a small clearing and Jim on his 800 and the two 250s are there waiting. I pause for a moment, rather chuffed with how things are going, look to my right and see an impossibly steep hill that’s heavily rutted. People ride those things?! Stuff that… but it put a slight dent in what I thought was pretty damn good going. All that was left was a rather rutted descent down a hill, but I stuck the bike in 1st gear and eased her down the hill, slowly shifting from side to side to pick the most favourable line.

The rest of the group were already outside the pub and I think the odd one was surprised to see the GSA exiting from the trail side rather than the road (I was a bit surprised myself, but the adrenaline was pumping and I was probably grinning like an idiot). I reprimanded Jim for not mentioning the middle of the route, oh, and the beginning, but like all adventure riders he simply grinned back. I’ve learnt in one and a half days of riding with him that he has a reputation for finding the no-beaten track, and I’m learning real fast what this entails!

Some of the people needed more gas but I’d only done 120km since Taupo, so if anything the bike was getting easier and easier to handle. Once ready we set off again, further east on the main highway to Pohokura Rd to go through the Whirinaki Forest. Jim led us down a selection of roads, none of which are in the maps yet but all good fun. It was mostly hard packed but quite dusty and at times (especially when corner markers passed) everyone disappeared into the dust cloud. The pace wasn’t too high so it was easier to back right off and wait for the dust to dissipate.

A few more dust roads and we finally came out the other side onto Te Whaiti Rd and headed for Murupara for another re-fill of gas (seriously? Anyone would think they’re addicted to gas stations). Te Whaiti Rd was absolutely fantastic with excellent quality tar, brilliant corners flowing into each other and some nice scenery. Unfortunately as TEC I didn’t get to give the road the justice it deserved as Alma wasn’t used to riding on the road, but I’ll definitely head back to enjoy that road again.

Reaching the gas station just after 5.30pm I had a long awaited toilet break while others re-filled. My visor and helmet also got some water as the visor mechanism was starting to protest at the quantity of dust. A couple of options were open to return home but time was marching on. A few wanted to return via the gravel but didn’t know the route and most were keen to do the road as it would be dark shortly. Jim had managed to blow his shock on the gravel roads so definitely favoured the road as a friendlier option to get home. I wasn’t fussed either way but figured keeping the group together was probably the best option.

We headed out of Murupara at 6pm on SH38 and then took SH5 and back roads through to Broadlands Rd. I wasn’t paying too much attention to our exact location until I swore we were passing Taupo Raceway, which of course we were, but I’d never approached from that direction (and actually always wanted to explore the direction from which we’d come). We stopped short of the bypass to re-group, but once I’d told Jim we’d left Sue and Alma shortly after Murupara he said we could all head home then re-group at Rangitaiki Pub for dinner as they would be some time, travelling at 70-80kph.

Danny on the DR400, David on a KTM and I headed back to the Stag Park Diner and after a change of clothes used Danny’s ute to head out to the Stag Park Diner. The food selection was excellent, plenty of lies and stories were told of the day and we also met Craig (riding a KTM 990 Adv) who had wanted to go on the morning ride but had arrived late. Plans were made for the next day’s riding and Danny, David and I headed back to the Diner around 11pm. I asked them what the food at the diner was like, but received very mediocre reviews from both of them… perhaps I’ll stay away from their food then.

Turned in shortly after midnight, only 300km for the entire day but I sure slept good!

Pics: http://s210.photobucket.com/albums/b...0and%20Tukino/