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Further to the entry at 24 March 2008:

There are a few things I want to share that some of you too may have encountered similar 'anxiety moments'.

Late last month I remarked upon the little voice inside that was making me think about selling the 900 Hornet and downsizing.

Well the bottom line is 'it is not going to happen this winter'.

I went to see a professional motorcycle instructor and discussed my fears and anxiety and I was thinking of getting a smaller capacity bike. In the meantime I was encouraged to 'spend the rest of the day riding selecting one lower gear than I normally use.' He also recommended I try two particular bikes as well. I also went as far as advertising the bike for 3 weeks on TradeMe. [And in the meantime I have frequently selected one lower gear, this has reduced the anxiety and made me appreciate the engine compression and braking factors. As well as, any acceleration is deliberate: rather than the speed and power of the bike covertly getting away on me, I am more aware of the power band and moving up through the gears and down.]

The fact that I have jumped from bike to bike four times in 16mths [May06-Aug07]and am now on the 900 Hornet, it is not unusual to have those anxious moments of second guessing oneself 'have I chosen the right bike? Is it not too powerful?'

There have not been any major scares or fears of or with the bike, but rather an unrealistic way of thinking. In my case I was concerned at the distances I have been travelling, not long by any means, but the frequent rides, my thinking was purely the numbers game...'if you keep riding as frequently and the distance you are accumulating then sooner or later...'

And of course there are the inevitable occasions when we hear about or read about tragic fatal accidents and bad injury accidents. And I for one started to question myself and my bike.

My rationale and logic was then discussed with a psychologist. I will not elaborate on that discussion, as I personally feel that is a confidence and trust issue.

I can however see that my reasoning and thought process needs to be questioned from time to time. Was it really relevant whether I ride a 900 or a 650, was it really relevant whether I ride regularly or not and just because I think I am doing a lot of riding what will be different tomorrow from today or the day after tomorrow.....Do I consider myself a safe and careful rider, do I have the luxury of choosing when to ride and where, do I practise and review my technique.....

I think I shall stop here, and openly say that I look forward to my riding through winter, of course with Charlie Bravo Nine Zero Zero Hornet.

I will leave a lot of my anxiety behind, while looking ahead with a more understanding state of mind.

Heads Up and Enjoy