scuzeme

Ok so ive had a go at this blog stuff/thing and given you all a piece of my mind not in the "im pissed off and angry" type of way but literally a piece of my mind which is a little scary because i am a little fucked in the head at times, 40 years of being a ginger and some of us get a slight inferiority complex hahaaaa anyway im putting myself out there.
My last blog as you know touched on a few things, envy, timing, the recipe for greatness and coming into the racing scene at "half past lunch" time in life terms and im happy that there were no negative comments, well no comments at all actually
My blog from now on is titled "Confessions of a 40 year old racer" and i will be recording a blog diary of my ongoing racing season the good the bad and the ugly.

Hold onto your hats you may be in for a rough ride.

Ladys in the Racing Scene
Ok im gunna cut right to the chase....men whether your a politically correct wanker or not we all cave men at the end of the day and cave men like to beat their man breasts, prove the size of their bollocks to the cave lassy's by competing against the other cavemen to bring home the biggest piece of proverbial mammoth bacon we can get our flint headed spears on.
My point is we all wanna show each other whose the man out there, we all wanna impress our wives, girlfriends and the ladies in general.
In general terms this racing thing has nothing to to do with the size of our bollocks and everything to do with making our bollocks seem a hell of a lot bigger than they really are...you know im right even if you dont have the bollocks to admit it.

Instant bollock deflating moment No#1:
Uggo the cave man has been out all day in the hot savanah heat whacking the head of a rather large prehistoric wooly mammoth finally beating said wooly mammoth into submission cutting a chuck of rump steak out of said woolly mammoth recovering the 3 foot long tusks to take home for bragging rights.
Uggo meets Blurgo on th way home who also bagged himself a wooly mammoth that day, Blurgos tusks are only 2 foot long, Uggo is feeling good under the weight of his expanding gonadual stones.
Uggo makes his way back to the cave village only to be confronted by a rather dishy cave women carrying a couple of 4 foot tasks across her shoulders, upon seeing this and comparing tusk sizes Uggos bollocks head north leaving two nostril shaped holes in the scrotal area you get the picture.

Instant bollock deflating moment No#2:
You are a racer or atleast one in our own head mate at the latest track day.
There you are on your 2009 CBR1000rr doing 1:35 laps round Manfeild, you da man hahaaahaa
Heading round the fast sweeper just before splash you see out of the corner of your peripheral another bike pulling alongside you and overtaking you on the inside as you enter splash.
A red haze forms around the sides of your vision for just a moment as the Gixer600k7 accelerates out of splash towards the hairpin.
All off a sudden you recognise the unmistakable form of a women infront of you and your heart skips a little faster the red mist now clouds your vision fully.
Slowly but ever increasingly she pulls away againing time and space on the first 3rd of every straight and in every entry and exit of evey corner.
You fell your heart sink and a sense of hopelessness drapes over you as the bike infront gets further and further away.
The chequered flag comes out and you pull into the pits, the girl that just kicked your arse pulls her helment off and as if it isnt enough that she has superior skills shes also drop gead gorgeous hahaahahaaaaaa.

Let me just say out loud what the inner caveman in each of us guys screams from within...
WE HATE BEING BEATEN BY GIRLS!

There ive said it, i know its true, the rest of you guys know is true and THEY KNOW ITS TRUE so stop pretending that your happy about it.
In all fairness if having girls on the track compels me to work harder to get better to go faster all power to them.

Cheers and peace out.