coffeejunkie

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do i point at my crotch when i ask where the toilet is?

People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV & change the channel manually.

When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it?

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake & eat it too". Too fucking right i do! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

When people say while watching a movie "Did you see that?". No you tosser, I payed $12 to come to the movies and stare at the floor!

People who ask "Can i ask you a question?".....Didn't really give me much choice there, did you sunshine?

When something is 'New & Improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

When people say "life is short". What the fuck??? Life is the longest damn thing ever fucker does!! What else can you do that's longer?

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus had come would i be standing here dickhead?

People who say things like "My eyes aren't what they used to be". So what did they used to be? Ears? Feet?

When your eating something and someone asks "Is that nice?". No it's really revolting, I always eat stuff i hate!

People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks! That's an image i really didn't need.