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Thread: How do you tell your kids you can't see them anymore?

  1. #1
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    How do you tell your kids you can't see them anymore?

    Hey all.

    In the latest family court debacle, my ex has demanded:

    1. that I undergo psychotherapy with a psychologist
    2. that she has the right to direct how I am to be counselled
    3. that the psychologist reports back to her lawyer to ensure this is successful
    4. that I pay for this out of my own pocket.

    and:

    5. that my access is suspended until I do so.

    This is not going to happen, therefore my access is suspended indefinitely.

    My daughter turns seven tomorrow. She is suffering from huge loss issues based on her mother only letting her see me six times since her last birthday. I know this because her psychotherapist said so in writing.

    She rings me twice a day while hiding in the backyard of her mother's section so they won't hear her on the 'phone. She says her mother won't pay her any attention and she misses me heaps. My son only talks to me when he sees me, which isn't a lot.

    So, how do I tell my daughter that her mother won't let me see her any more?
    And I to my motorcycle parked like the soul of the junkyard. Restored, a bicycle fleshed with power, and tore off. Up Highway 106 continually drunk on the wind in my mouth. Wringing the handlebar for speed, wild to be wreckage forever.

    - James Dickey, Cherrylog Road.

  2. #2
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    Well, I'm sorry but I don't have any answers for you. I do hope things work out for you though, Simon.

    Isn't there some redress to this farcical situation? A higher, more-commonsensical bureaucrat you can appeal to?:spudwhat:
    ... and that's what I think.

    Or summat.


    Or maybe not...

    Dunno really....


  3. #3
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    Yup.

    I'd be writing to the Dominion Post. Shame the kids are involved.

    Fuck I'm lucky, I feel for you mate.
    Vote David Bain for MNZ president

  4. #4
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    That SUCKS man......if I couldnt see my kids i think i would have the ex go missing:sneaky2: ....sorry i have no other advice....but best of luck....


    It fucks me off that some bitch can just do that

  5. #5
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    I can't put it into words dude... it just shocks me.

    It's not right and I think yo've got a lot of support in here.

    That being said, is it an option to do the councelling in order to get more regular access to the kids? Maybe write to her lawyer and have them confirm that while you don't believe you need to undertajke that course of action, you'll do it for the kids' sake but in anticipation of doing that you'd like assurances of
    1) Regular visitation rights...
    2) anything else you expect
    3)... etc...

    Just a thought, and good luck. Wow... good luck...
    $2,000 cash if you find a buyer for my house, kumeuhouseforsale@straightshooters.co.nz for details

  6. #6
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    This is not uncommon. I think it's designed to divert attention away from the mother (who is the one with the problem in reality). Something very similar is happening to my stepson at the mo. If you feel strongly enough to fight it (and can afford to) start taking the offensive through the Family court with some demands of your own. At all times ensure what you do is absolutely reasonable & justifiable. Your X will be the one to end up looking crazy. Good luck.
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  7. #7
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    I'm sorry I don't the law or your situation well enough to offer any meaningful advice, but hopefully when your kids get older they realise they were pawns in all this, and can then see you as much as they like
    *votes this the sadest post I've read*
    Hope you get more favourable conditions soon.
    Or your ex carks it....*shouldn't have said that! But if felt right!*

  8. #8
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    My heart goes out to you mate.

    I can't think of any decent advice to give you, other than honesty is the always the best policy I guess. To a degree at least. Avoid saying negative things about your ex, as hard as it may be.

    It's extremely important that you make sure you tell your little girl how much you love her and that none of this is her fault.

    I take it you've got yourself some legal representation and advice.

    Fingers crossed common sense prevails here. Good luck
    This weeks international insult is in Malayalam:

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  9. #9
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    not cool at all bro, and it happens more than people are aware of too. (my mate is going through the same thing)

    hope things work out for you dude

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by celticno6
    Hey all.
    1. that I undergo psychotherapy with a psychologist
    2. that she has the right to direct how I am to be counselled
    re-reading this... isn't it the court that should direct how you are to be councelled? Sure, take her viewpoint into consideration, but take your's too, and hopefully those of a councellor (someone with expertise in the area...)

    The nature of the ongoing relationship you have with your kids has got to be dictated with their wellbeing in mind, first and foremost. If your ex is Anti you for any reason, she's not qualified to make that unbiased decision.. and I suggest the family court might not be the best place for it either.

    Sorry for the double post, but just on the face of it... this situation isn't right... not right at all...

    There's a Men's rights group out there somewhere (Man Alive?) which will assist in helping you through some of this stuff. Never used them myself, but at this point it'd be a benefit for you to have some support and direction from someone not so cut up too (I expect you're not thinking 100% straight at the moment).

    Good luck man...
    $2,000 cash if you find a buyer for my house, kumeuhouseforsale@straightshooters.co.nz for details

  11. #11
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    It's been said I know, but my heart goes out to you mate. This sucks beyond words. Isn't there a psychologist on this site? I'm sure I've seen him/her post somewhere. Maybe you could follow ManDownUnders suggestion and say "Righto, but under these conditions..." and work out some sort of a deal/scam with the KB shrink?
    My daughter telling me like it is:
    "There is an old man in your face daddy!"

  12. #12
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    Sorry, so sorry for both of you. Not knowing the details, I can't offer any constructive advice: I just hope that some sort of lasting resolution is found that brings some sanity to the situation.
    The world is my oxter

  13. #13
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    Not good new's Dude . What's with the Psycologist thing .Is the Ex playing hard ball .Or just very bitter & using the Kid's to get back at you . Not right either way I feel for you , Got kid's of my own . Hopefully you daughter can understand what is going down with out making thing's any worse for you .
    SENSEI

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  14. #14
    Simon, I read this... did not reply and then had to read it again... Im so sorry that you have to go through this, I know it must hurt like hell. I feel even worse because I cant help at all.

    I really hope things work out for you and your children.

    Good luck mate.


  15. #15
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    You might want to contact Nick Smith MP, he's had some good run-ins with the family court.
    PS Have you got a solicitor?

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