Welcome to Australia

**kevfromcoro** · 1st January 2009, 22:11

Its a bit like catching a bus.. going to OZ.easy as.
Last time i left NZ i got locked up in the airport . so had to be on my best behaviour.
On the plane ,, scoffed and drank everything they offered me

Had a nice young lady sitting next ot me . and started chatting. seems like we were going to the same place . so we decided to travel to-gether.
Got to Brizy and went up booked a couple of train tickets for the coast. in the nick of time .... had a bit of time to kill .
so we decided to have a drinky.
Sitting on the platform with a 40oz vodka and a bottle of kaluia.
by the time the train came along . we were feeling pretty happy..
got on the train. and sat on the floor. mainly cos our legs didnt want to work to well at this stage.plus it was less distance to fall.
out with the drinks .and away we go. by the time we were half way down the coast we started to run out of coke... dam/

so we doubled the drinks up .. just to save coke.
cant remember the girls name.. but will call her elle. it was something like that.
are we going the right way says elle..
fucks noes. it black out there. howd you expect me to know.

we soon learnt from a couple of aussies and tongan football team . who decided to join in the festiveitys.
that we were heading the right way.

where do we get off says elle.
my fone had a roaming thing on it. which was bringing up the towns as we were passing through.
we got close to our decidnation. and starts packing up here bags
ok wew are there. when i say jump we jump ok. sweet says elle.. we were pretty happy by this stage

then it suddendlly hit me...something i read on kb i think

ALLWAYS GET OFF YOUR BIKE WHEN ITS STOPPED
NEVER BEFORE.
Thats a better idea.. i ran over and grabed elle. who was about to launch herself out into the darknes
we both decided it was a good idea..and sat and waited for the train to stop
which it did.. right mate jump.
we launched ourselfs out of the train and on to the platform .all of 2 inches..
landed. face down on the platform. where our guests picked us up.litterally picked us up..

Wellcome to the gold coast.

Pics to follow. to be continued......................................... ............

**Madness** · 1st January 2009, 22:18

So Kev, are you sharing accomodation with Elle?

**kevfromcoro** · 1st January 2009, 22:20

only for the first few days mate.

**kevfromcoro** · 1st January 2009, 23:14

on with the story.away we go in a a car which was owned ny my daughter and husband Fred
get to where we are staying .and its black as the inside of a cow. one thing about oz. it get dark early.
well it was fucken near midnight . so i suposse it would be dark.
we were out in the sticks. had a few more drinks and off to bed.

next morning we got up and fred says come one ..
show ya your new accomodation.
there was a shed there . which had been converted into a flat..... perfect.
walking down . i said to fred any snakes here mate..
been here 10 ys and only seen 2.

a few more steps and fred yells out. dont move mate.
whats up...as a snake slithered across the track . only mtrs in front of us.
great. havent been here 12hrs . and seen my 1st snake.
we got down to the hut.. and had a look round.
hmmm cable tv.shower. dunny. microwave. all the gear..

watcha reckon says fred.... bit rough. but we will survive.
we setteldin.
went down the local shop and stocked up.
a bottle of vodka. 2 dz beers and a loaf of bread. i thought we over did it buying the bread.
but ya know what women are like.
it was lovely living here. gum trees from fucken africa.
lots of birds and strange noises in the night,
woke up to a high pichted scream .
fuck whats up.. and here this spider in the dunny,. he was about as big as a medium sized chicken.
fred...... there is a tarantula in the hut. big mutha.
freed turns up... fuck thats a huntsman.. harmless cunts they are.
picks it up and starts walking to-wards us. well that was my . lot //
i fled into the darknes .never to be seen again;
next morning i was having breakfast .and that fucken hidious spider came down for a visit,. he sat about 2 mts away flashing his pearlly whites at me. and waving his 2 front feet in the air.
i slowly got to know him over the next few days.
bit off an unsocialable cunt though.. didnt drink beer or vodka for breaky.
threw him a bit of toast... nah didnt like that.. the only thing he licked was KFC. threw him a couple of drumsticks.
he chucked 1 over each shoulder . and scuttled of home.
to be continued......................................... ...

**scracha** · 8th January 2009, 09:52

Stuff being a fitter Kev, I've got you a book deal with a top publisher for your return.

I want at least 2 of the following in the next episode:-

Sharks
Digerydoos
Mad outback killers
Rip tides
Crocodiles
An STD
Desert

**kevfromcoro** · 11th January 2009, 10:19

Originally Posted by scracha

Stuff being a fitter Kev, I've got you a book deal with a top publisher for your return.

I want at least 2 of the following in the next episode:-

Sharks
Digerydoos
Mad outback killers
Rip tides
Crocodiles
An STD
Desert

haha mate.. just got home ..been away for a week working.no pc.
going to load some pics... and on with the story
it gets worse.
Kev

**kevfromcoro** · 11th January 2009, 11:03

that fuckin spider keeps coming down for breaky.
i called him boris.
couple of pics ..brisy train station..

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3452/...a39930b3_o.jpg..

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3357/...fcb3ea7e_o.jpg.
elle has departed so i sat there with boris eating kfc.
bored..havent got up to any mischief for hrs..lets go and have a walk around.

hmmm found this..

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3446/...fcbf80b1_o.jpg..
could be a bit of fun.. hasent been going for 10yrs.
ok its got spark. got gas ..2 flat tyres.
its gota go.run it down the hill..didnt fire a shot.fukit..i know its a light bike
but try pushing it up a gravel driveway , with 2 flat tyres ,in the the 38 degree heat. well that fucked me... sat up top and had a few glasses of water . mixed with a dash of vodka..ran it down the hill again.. putt putt.. it aint going....left it there..
coming up. buying bikes in oz.
fuck that was a laugh.
KEV

**kevfromcoro** · 12th January 2009, 04:16

Next morning fred comes and pics me up
we are off .. bike hunting went to a place called nerang a tang. bike shops everywhere.. walked in . and had a sniff around.

nice ktm 990... what are these like says me.
best bikes in australia says the sales man.. we sell more of those than any bikes in oz.
next shop.. honda hornet 900.. best bikes in oz . these ......
fuck think i have heard this before.
next shop .. v-strom.
good bike is it mate.. best bikes in oz says the salesman.
fuck sake ..put a sock in it
bike prices are about the same as here. but a sales man will do anything to do a deal.. its a numbers game.dont know fuck all about bikes . they just want to sell them.
right back to the deal...spots a strom .. and i wanted it. 2007 cherry red.
took it for a ride. did everything right..the salesmans name was kirk..
so me and fred go back to do a deal
kirk plonks us down in his office.. and the strom is parked about 2 metrers away.. sniffing at the wind.. i wanted this bike.and had maps and things where i was going to ride it.
want a coffee says kirk.
yeah ok.. cindy... get these kiwi cunts a coffee.
well in walks cindy. 2 coffees.
long legs,, tanned body. wearing a miniskirt. puts the coffee down on the table.. and bends over. she is wearing a g-strring.
got a drip whisker about 2 inches in front of my nose.
ok says kirk .. what about the bike it was 10k ..
ok mate give ya 12 grand for it.
at this stage fred grabbed me by the the scruff of the neck and we went outside.
fuck sake says fred.. we are here to buy a bike..
not look at shelias kilts.
pull ya sell to-gether.
so we did that . and went back to hammer it tong out with kirk.
done a deal. 10 thousand bike was now 9 grand cash .and and 1000 dollars worth of gear, not a bad deal
doing the deal with kirk.. and heres cindy . now in a bikiny. drapped all over my bike.
haha. to late cindy. the deal is done,
we got the last laugh.
me and fred went out and sniffed the seat,
and of home to say hello to boris
KEV

**carver** · 12th January 2009, 14:55

haha, your story makes me laugh, nice meeting ya!

**gijoe1313** · 14th January 2009, 17:21

What a crack up, glad to hear you been having a good trip as well - bugger about the dirt bike, that would have make a cracking yarn if it worked!

So now you have wheels, and a whole continent to explore - on ya mate!

No piccies of Boris?

**kevfromcoro** · 15th January 2009, 00:30

Havent got one of Boris
Didnt like getting his photo taken, in fact he didnt like anything
cept KFC
Heres one of one of his babies
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3353/...d6062d5b_o.jpg

**babyB** · 15th January 2009, 00:38

premo reading Kev lol when did ya say the book was happening
sounds like ya havin a ball

**kevfromcoro** · 15th January 2009, 01:20

Time to finish my holiday and back to NZ.
Was a great trip
Shook hands with Boris.. all 8 of them
Got the CR going finally.
the spark was retarded
like the rider
went up to the house and bid fare well to my sweet daughter
out comes Fred.
stubie in one hand.. and scratching his nuts with the other
you off kev he says.. got something for ya.
he goes back into the house.. comes out. and biffs a fucken snake at me
they found me 3hrs later
30 ft up a gum tree.
clutching my suitcase. and a 40 kilo pack still on my back.
come on down.. that was a grass snake.. harmless they are.
not me.. iam staying up here.
Fred finally enticed me down with a a
bottle of vodka, and a vegemite sandwich.
bid me farewells ..and off i went.

Footnote....
i have been riding since i was 15.. now iam in my mid 50s.
because we push ourselveles to the limit . and somehow survive..
it does give a person a lot of confidence. not only in riding but other things as well.
just cos ya old you dont have to grow up.
iam heading back to OZ shortly
anyone want a bit of adventure.
think Boris is getting hungary.
might have to get a family box.
Kind Regards To all
Kevthekiwi