The KB food thread

**CookMySock** · 25th May 2009, 20:31

I can't find a food thread, so I'll start one. Post something complex or simple - something you enjoy.

Heres a start ;

A two-minute fruity pudding for one person

You need ;

1 thick slice of bread
1 banana (and some other fruit if you like tamarillo, grapes, kiwifruit etc)
artificial sweetener (or sugar)
1 farmbake cookie
1 can of thick coconut cream - must have! (wont work with out this)
Unsweetened yogurt if you have it

Method ;

Drop a slice of bread in a desert bowl.
Slice one banana crossways as thinly as you can on top of the bread.
Add other sliced fruit if you have it.
Add a dollop of yogurt.
Open can of coconut cream and stir it well - tip 1/3 of the tin on top of the fruit.
Add 4-6 drops of sucryl or sugromax (not too much or its yuck)
Finely crumble the farmbake cookie over the top.

Eat with spoon! Don't share it! Yum!

notes; You cannot skip the coconut cream or its just not the same. You can leave out the bread, yogurt, or farmbake cookie. Without the bread and cookie it's quite low-carb.

Steve

**sinfull** · 25th May 2009, 20:56

I'll run with this !

Single mans gravy !
Cook ya meat in butter, loooots of butter ! when the meats cooked whip it out and add to the pan or oven dish, a table spoon of honey, table spoon soy sauce, table spoon of steak sauce of yr choice (mines smoked hickory) !Add enough water for however much gravy ya want and let it boil (or simmer if ya pedantic! have mixed up a 1/5 or 1/4 cup of flour (may vary with how much water you've added) to a pourable consistancy (same as mixing plaster guys, don't expect to dump half a cup of water on top of it and not have it come out lumpy) Add ya flour slowly stirrin the shit out of it till it's as thick as ya want it !
The butter carries the meat flavour and ya pour the shit over everybloody thing (makes brussel sprouts or other yucky vegies taste like steak or chicken) or pork (don't mention pork mmmm)

And fart like ya wouldn't believe hehehe

**NighthawkNZ:Me** · 25th May 2009, 20:59

I have the best Pizza recipe ever...

0800 *** ***

**Blackshear** · 25th May 2009, 21:13

Originally Posted by NighthawkNZ

I have the best Pizza recipe ever...

0800 *** ***

2 cups water ......... ----\
2 tablespoons sugar---- Mix
2 tablespoons yeast

Add above 3 ingredients together, in order, allowing the yeast to do its thing.

2-3 cups flour, depending on the water gauges ('about' 2 cups water, etc.) used (basically until your dough is 'dry' enough to knead)

Make sure when rolling your dough onto oven tray, it has enough flour on the bottom to prevent sticking. (You learn this once when you pull it out, and the fucker is cemented onto the tray.)

Add base of choice, personally I use watered down tomato puree with a teaspoon of blended garlic, with a couple pinches of Thyme.

Add any meats, (or veges, you sick bastards), and coat with cheeses. a 50/10/30 mix of mild/tasty/mozarella is usually the shit.

Shove into preheated fanbake oven at around 170c, add 20c for non-fan bake.

Usually done in around 8-10 minutes, or until crusts turn brown. The taste test whilst still cooking is a good way too check the texture of ones base.

Eat.

Note: This is basically the only recipe I know without consulting a cookbook, and is pretty hard to fuck up. Don't have your dough too dry, as it'll turn into a cracker, or be gunky in the middle if too wet.

**Skyryder** · 25th May 2009, 21:15

Wrong time of year.

Stew some apricots. Place them in an enclosed container and place in the sun for about eight to twelve hours. When they taste fizzy eat.

There is no better high than being pissed on 'fermented' fruit.

Just don't drive.

Skyryder

**YellowDog** · 25th May 2009, 21:24

4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
a small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.

Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts (high). The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed! Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.

EAT! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous). And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world? Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!

**naphazoline** · 25th May 2009, 21:29

**Hitcher** · 25th May 2009, 21:43

You could always join the Food Porn Social Group...

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/group.php?groupid=92

**CookMySock** · 25th May 2009, 21:59

You like runny eggs on toast just perfect? Try this variation with curry powder.

The best pan is one with a glass lid so you can watch them cook, then you can see eggsactly whats going on and whether they are nearly ready.

Put the bread in the toaster if you want toast, but don't push it down yet.

Get plates out ready, coz this cooks real real quick.

Get butter out ready for toast.

Get eggs ready next to frying pan.

Sprinkle the pan with chicken salt and curry powder of your choice, add a BIG knob of butter and a about a tablespoon of water. Put lid on and heat slowly until the butter melts. Leave the lid on and tip it all around so a nice sauce begins to form, and the pan preheats the glass lid (so you can't touch it - about one minute.)

Now push the toast down, and flip the frying pan to FULL volume. Leave lid on, checking every ten seconds for the butter starting to brown. The INSTANT the butter begins to brown and smoke, whip the lid off and crack the eggs into the sauce one by one - spacing them about, and add a handful of water around the edge, and bang the lid on right away. Count to 30 seconds and turn the pan down to about 1/4 power or less and let them steam the tops until the white is set and the tops are all just pink. Leave the lid on.

Watch out, it cooks real fast - 50 seconds ish. Too long and you get rubber eggs. The eggs shouldn't stick to the pan - they should just slide around in the sauce. Too hot too long and they stick.

Water will condense on the glass lid - tip the pan to slide water off and back into the pan - will help steam the egg tops.

Just before egg yolks are all pink, and when whites are almost set, pull toast out, dump eggs on the toast, tip remainder of curry sauce over.

Forget the knives and forks - pick toast up with hands and scoff down. You won't need salt and pepper on them.

Tricks; Glass-lid pan FTW. A 'handful' of water is just what you can cup in the palm of your hand.

Sauce variations; crushed garlic with chicken salt and white pepper. Grated courgette and grated carrot and crushed garlic.

This is worth getting just right. People will line up for your perfect runny eggs.

Steve

**Oakie** · 25th May 2009, 22:26

Like Hitcher said .... visit the Food Porn Social Group for all things gastronomical.

**gatch** · 25th May 2009, 22:28

While some poor suckers are parting with their tithe at church, I have something of my own I like on a sunday morning sometimes.

Bacon, fried + bread, buttered.
With a side of beer, chilled and opened.

Fuckin breakfast of champions.

**CookMySock** · 25th May 2009, 22:32

Originally Posted by gatch

Bacon, fried + bread, buttered. With a side of beer, chilled and opened.

Yum. After you have cooked the bacon, tip most of the fat off and scoop out some red tamarillos into the pan and deglaze with them - cook about 2 mins. Mix back together with the bacon and add lots of black pepper. Eat on toast. This is a real hard-hitting flavour..

Steve

**Virago** · 25th May 2009, 22:37

Originally Posted by gatch

While some poor suckers are parting with their tithe at church, I have something of my own I like on a sunday morning sometimes.

Bacon, fried + bread, buttered.
With a side of beer, chilled and opened.

Fuckin breakfast of champions.

A man after my own (struggling) heart...

Balance is the key to health and happiness. Sunday starts with three different blood pressure meds, blood thinners, cholesterol meds. Followed shortly after with bacon-and-egg sandwiches. Can't get more balanced than that...

**Naki Rat** · 25th May 2009, 22:58

Great for those entertaining moments when dessert is required but unplanned.

One banana per person, preferably very ripe.
Microwave either individually or together allowing 1 1/2 minutes on high per banana.
Place banana on its 'back' on the serving plate, slit longways and spread it to expose the now gooey inside flesh.
Top with cream or ice cream, and liqueur of your choice, grated chocolate, etc.

Also works for those bananas that went into the freezer as they had passed their used by date in the fruit bowl. Just nuke them a bit longer.