Biker jokes- soz if repost
An ugly biker walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman. "Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!" "Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?" "Dunno...Never found the head."
A Biker went into his corner coffee shop for his morning cuppa. He liked the coffee, and the food was good & cheap. One thing though, the waitress was a surly type who didn't like Bikers much. This morning, business was slow, and the waitress (looking particularly grumpy) was keeping busy brooming the floor. He walked up to her and said, "Look on the bright side luv, when you finish work you'll be able to ride it home".
A biker stops by the Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and he would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store/livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he now had a problem: how to carry all his purchases home. The owner said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" "Hey, thanks!" the biker said, and out the door he went. But in the parking lot he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?" The biker replied, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time." The little old lady looked him over cautiously, then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?" The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?" The lady said, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold the chickens."
Biker sitting in a pub, quietly nursing his pint, when the door opens and in walks a lady of easily negotiable affection. She sits at the bar next to our hero and says in a husky voice, “Hey big boy, have you ever had a thrill?”“Yeah,” replies the sledder, “I was out on my bike and was rippin’ down some country lanes; the sun was shinin’, the little birds wuz tweetin’, the bike was runnin’ sweet and everythin’ was cool.”“No, silly,” I mean have you ever had a real thrill?” she asks again.“Oh yeah,” he answers. “I was cranking it over into some really tight bends and the footpegs were scraping out wiv sparks flying behind me!”Bloody hell, she thinks, this bloke is so thick his brain must be custard. I’ll make it simple for him.“What I mean is,” she says, as she runs her hand up the inside of his thigh and squeezes his nuts, opens her legs to reveal a complete absence of panties and hair, “have you ever felt a cunt?”“Yeah,” he sez. “I fell off.”
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here. QWQ
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