Real estate jargon

[hayd3n]

Easy care section
Concrete in all directions from the foundations to the boundaries...

nice a personal racetrack

[Shadows]

All so true.

Used car salesmen the lot of 'em.

I recently got close to putting in an offer on a place, very nice, bells, whistles and more. "What's happening with that paddock over the fence?" I asked. "Oh, nothing, the owner's a bastard, hard to deal with and it'll stay that way for years". Whatever. No offer went in.

I was riding past there a day or two ago and lo and behold, my freakin' jacket undoes itself from the bottom of the zip. Bugger, slight detour past the residential zone, slow down, stop to do up jacket (note to self; get zip fixed); hello! The paddocks got gutters, roading and more.

Lying bitch.

I had a similar thing. Told that the farm next door (the only decent view) was going to stay that way for the foreseeable future. "No plans for subdivision" was the answer to my direct questioning about it.

Went back to my hotel, had a look at the map, and saw all of the proposed (and already named) streets all over the farm.

Rang the lying piece of shit back and gave him his pedigree.

It was Ray White Real Estate by the way.

[Wonko]

Hidden Treasure
House isn't legal

[b]Multi Use Possibilties[B]
you can live in it, or rent it out.

[b]OLDE WORLD CHARM[b]
looks good and solid house, but no modern features like power. True story, one house I looked at had gas cooking/heating installed, but exposed power lines downstairs and an extention cable running upstairs.

[b]mortgagee sale[b]
There are no redeeming features, I just put mortgagee there to interest you

[scumdog]

And they change tactics as time goes by, i.e.

Use to be "A snip for the home handy-man" - now it's "Has potential"

Probably because there's less words/letters so is cheaper..

[FJRider]

Seeking expressions of interest.
Apparently raising your eyebrows and cocking your head is not what they mean!

You're not reading the personal coloumn are you ???

[peasea]

I had a similar thing. Told that the farm next door (the only decent view) was going to stay that way for the foreseeable future. "No plans for subdivision" was the answer to my direct questioning about it.

Went back to my hotel, had a look at the map, and saw all of the proposed (and already named) streets all over the farm.

Rang the lying piece of shit back and gave him his pedigree.

It was Ray White Real Estate by the way.

Individual agents are not a reflection of the whole company though.

In looking at a slice of dirt just north of here I asked if there were any claims pending on the land. "Not to my knowledge" was the response. I did some digging and found that not only were there claims pending on the piece I was looking at, there were claims on the whole area. I found it in the local paper archives, front page news not 18months prior to my visit. You can't tell me a local RE agent didn't know about it.

[peasea]

And they change tactics as time goes by, i.e.

Use to be "A snip for the home handy-man" - now it's "Has potential"

Probably because there's less words/letters so is cheaper..

And I love the line they use when interest is slack; "What the market is telling us is....."

[mctshirt]

And they change tactics as time goes by, i.e.

Use to be "A snip for the home handy-man" - now it's "Has potential"

Probably because there's less words/letters so is cheaper..

Another is "Needs finishing" which loosely translated means you'll have to tear it down and start again to repair the bodgy job by the half-arsed DIYer who thought doing up houses and flicking them was cheap and easy.

When buying a farm "Summer safe" means you won't have to worry about a drought cause it rains a lot. All the time. It never stops raining. Noah used to live here. We like mud. The rain has driven us mad and we have damp on the brain. Please stop the rain

[Genestho]

Overlooks a stunning view of the Golfcourse


"FOUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!"

Newly Developed Area
Yours will be the only house amongst piles of dirt and machinary, until the developer finds more money to finish the project!!


Close Community
Crossleased amongst 6 neighbours and to scratch your bottom you will need written permission from all six neighbours, to do so.

Country Delight
It's about to fall down around your ears, probably really need to tear it down and rebuild, and let's not mention the sewerage and watertank issues

[martybabe]

Enjoys all day sun = part of the roof missing

Lovely sloping section = prone to land slip

Large basement/rumpus/ games room = big damp underground room not fit for any use.

Kitchen recently renovated = new kettle and bread bin

bush outlook = tree planted to close to house

back to nature= neighbour doesn't wear clothes in summer

Keep some chooks= gardens fooked

Plenty of large outbuildings = shanty town

Rustic feel= dirty and damp

[Pussy]

Sloping section

Hillary and Tenzing trained here

[Shadows]

Individual agents are not a reflection of the whole company though.

Maybe, may be not - all I do know is that I will never deal with them again.

[Maha]

'House for Runt'

A typo surely???

[Swoop]

Delightful 1970's charm:
Has disgusting red 1" square tiles in kitchen and bathroom.

Bring a hammer:
Bring a bulldozer.

And I love the line they use when interest is slack; "What the market is telling us is....."

... that customers need to be raped harder.

[mctshirt]

And I love the line they use when interest is slack; "What the market is telling us is....."

Ahh that old chestnut - "You'll have to meet the market" is code for "drop your price so I don't have to work hard to sell your house and still get a cut for doing feck all"