Accepting responsibility for your actions

[Naki Rat]

It isn't. It's intrinically linked. The inability to accept personal responsibility is linked to a lack of consequence. The breadth of understanding in relation to "consequence" should evolve as one gets older.

Sarge's point is that there is a strong message from agencies outside the home that your parents do not deserve respect and that authority figures are your friend. You should have a healthy fear of authority figures (yes, you are allowed to start questioning their authority in late adolescence - it's how things "work") and be respectful to your parents. None of these groups need to "like" each other.

Society, in the broader sense, is founded on the principle of learning and accepting boundaries. I invest a lot of time in establishing and maintaining boundaries for my kids. Educational facilities spend a lot of time undoing them.

The big problem is that political correctness largely does away with consequences.
Deja vu from the ChCh boy racer thread....?

This issue has got everything to do with lack of parental and school control of kids. How many of these disorderly and vandalistic hoons would have adopted a better outlook on life if a few well meaning slaps had been applied many years ago?

The problem is that those undisciplined kids are now playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse with the authorities in order to find the limits on their behaviour that weren't set when they should have been. This is what you get for allowing the state to run your lives.

The missed smack on the arse as a child ends up being replaced by far greater harm meted out by a frustrated vigilante

Me thinks it's a hell of a lot easier and safer for kids to learn sooner rather than later

[Naki Rat]

At least I didn't fuck the planet!

So you live in a cave and scrub yourself with a rock?

I sure do!

I want this. I don't want to wait. Organize it please.

Pretty flash rock you're covetting

[oldrider]

Being personally responsible in New Zealand! "Take a pill or change the channel".

[MSTRS:Me]

I'll let you into a secret - Mstrs ... I'll give him middle aged at best.

Gutted, mate. Gutted.

Personal responsibility is not learned through physical "discipline". The fear of "consequences" is a seperate issue

You are wrong.
As long as there are consequences that are feared (read as 'respected'?), then the 'desired' behaviour/s are learned. Usually. There will always be exceptions. Although it is difficult to tell whether someone 'never learned...' or simply doesn't care.

[MSTRS:Me]

When the young are to be silent before their elders; how they are to show respect to them by standing and making them sit; what honour is due to parents; what garments or shoes are to be worn; the mode of dressing the hair; deportment and manners in general. (Socrates)

What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them? (Plato)


I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise [disrespectful] and impatient of restraint (Hesiod, 8th century BC).

[James Deuce]

Although it is difficult to tell whether someone 'never learned...' or simply doesn't care.

It's always fun watching the "don't cares" morph into the world's most intensely fascist parent ever.

[Genestho]

When the young are to be silent before their elders; how they are to show respect to them by standing and making them sit; what honour is due to parents; what garments or shoes are to be worn; the mode of dressing the hair; deportment and manners in general. (Socrates)

What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them? (Plato)


I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise [disrespectful] and impatient of restraint (Hesiod, 8th century BC).

Must spread before blinging again!!!!!

[short-circuit]

Good luck to those of you trying to use force to force responsibility/respect into the young people in your lives.


As far as young people having a monoply on irresponsible behaviour (if this were a generational characteristic), they (we) have in their (our) favour the opportunity to learn and change. This discussion essentially boils down to psychological maturity and psychosocial development.

On a related point, the process of maturing is not aided by force but is instead stunted - this merely creates fear, distrust, confusion, resentment and an orientation towards external control (as opposed to internal control which is the goal - taking responsibility for self).

Cue the argument suggesting the need for "firm boundaries" requiring the exertion of authority/power/force etc.....

[yungatart]

Some young people are great at accepting personal responsibility, some are not.
Just as, some older people are great at accepting personal responsibility...and some are not.

I don't think it is a generational issue, at all.

[short-circuit]

I don't think it is a generational issue, at all.

Neither do I.

[Shaun S]

And thats it in a friggin nutshell innit? Blame -pass the buck but never ohh no NEVER actually man up and accept responsibility yourself for your actions.

So much easier said than done. Looking in the mirror is not the easiest, most people find it real easy to point the finger and indicate where the other has gone wrong or where and when they have done wrong.

Every story has 2 sides, and as much as you feel you are correct from your side - the other usually feels they are from theirs! What you see as "manning up" may look like utter bullshit on the other side of the fence.

I am of course not implying that either is right or wrong - but that people should take the time to stand in the others shoes and undertsand where they are coming from before they point the finger?

[Indiana_Jones]

-Indy

[Mikkel]

How DARE you! Do you not understand irony?

You're getting rusty?

Some young people are great at accepting personal responsibility, some are not.
Just as, some older people are great at accepting personal responsibility...and some are not.

I don't think it is a generational issue, at all.

If anything, with age you'll just get a better grip on what you can get away with and what you can't... Honing your responsibility dodging skills over the years.

If you grow up surrounded by people who act responsibly, are fair in their dealings with and respectful of their fellow beings you are likely to inherit some of these attributes.
On the other hand, if you grow up with a forced expectation of respecting your elders (five-across-the-eyes if you don't) while they behave in a way unworthy of respect I'd say chances are you're going to turn out badly.

[Mschvs]

Half the time it's because the 'younger' generation have never had to earn that particular thing ... such as their bike. They get given it, or bought it, and hence don't really care if they thrash the sh*t out of it. Because either Mummy and Daddy will buy them a new one, or when they hit 18 their trust fund will come through.

Learning this from the start with anything they are given of any value, sentimental or monetary, means that they just don't care as there are no consequences of destroying it ... until they hurt themselves or someone else in the process.

I know it's a bit of a generalisation, but I grew up on the North Shore of Auckland and saw many of my friends and acquaintences with well off parents, buy them cars or bikes that they couldn't handle, (being 16yo and on your learners with a WRX when you have never driven before is out of your league!) and then repeatedly damaged or wrote them off until the unlucky (inevitable) day that some of them wrote themselves or some of their friends off ... not a pretty lesson!

[MSTRS:Me]

On the other hand, if you grow up with a forced expectation of respecting your elders (five-across-the-eyes if you don't) while they behave in a way unworthy of respect I'd say chances are you're going to turn out badly.

Most definitely.
Role Model is where it's at. Coupled with appropriate correction for stepping beyond the boundaries. Getting the balance right is the trick.