Shut CYF down

[Mom]

What happened to people being people and asking the kids if Mum and Dad had said it was Ok to be alone in the park? Asking for a phone number so they could ring Mum and Dad to see if it was OK?

I feel sorry for parents of young children these days, I really feel sorry for their children. I was lucky enough to be raised in a time where we ran wild (well not really) but certainly free, in our neighbourhood. In my case I had to be home before supper. We got really good at telling the time without watches because being late home was not acceptable at all.

My children were lucky enough to be raised in a rural community on farm land. They also ran wild, climbed trees, got filthy dirty, got bumped and bruised, one of them broke an arm playing silly buggers bouncing on a tramp up into a tree and then on to the ground. I did not see the half of it really I am sure. What an unnatural Mother I was.

I still live here, and am not above talking to kids on their own. Does your Mommy know where you are? Are you OK? Costs nothing you know, but I am another pair of eyes out there.

Saw something the other day that I want to share. A bloke with two little girls. My best guess judging by the teeth of these little cuties 6 or maybe even 7 years old. He took them to the really fantastic playground in town and opened the childproof gate for them. He then said, "I am going back to work for half an hour, you two stay here and have fun. Do not leave the playground, I will be back soon. OK?" Then he left.

So here we have 2 young girls playing in a playground unsupervised. You know something, my alarm bells did not ring at all. Seemed reasonable to me. He had to go back to work for a little bit, they were obviously happy to be outside tearing around having a bit of fun. Far better for them to be outside excercising, than to be sitting quietly in a corner at his work bored, frustrated and no doubt acting up as a result, while he finished up his work. Stressful for both parties, making for grumpy kids and parents.

The playgrounds these days are so friggen safe the chances of a kid really getting hurt are nil, and the random bogey man, child abusing freak is a real rarity in our community, he more likely to be a family friend or the like. I guess I am lucky to live where I do, but I would no more have rung CYPS about this incident than I would fly to the moon.

Community is what we need to build, wide family community. There is no place in this community for small minded, all men are peadophiles, all children need to be cocooned in fluufy stuff till they leave home weirdos. Yes care for you kids, yes teach them boundaries, yes teach them about stranger danger, but most importantly, yes, let them grow up to learn a few of lifes lessons along the way.

We have created this world where we feel our kids are not safe.


Opps I seem to have blown a gasket!

[Owl]

Nice Mom!

[davereid]

My children were lucky enough to be raised in a rural community on farm land. They also ran wild, climbed trees, got filthy dirty, got bumped and bruised, one of them broke an arm playing silly buggers bouncing on a tramp up into a tree and then on to the ground. I did not see the half of it really I am sure.

All banned now, or about to be. Farm houses will soon have to be fenced off from the rest of the property to ensure the kids are kept close to the house.

Its for their own good ya know.

[Mom]

All banned now, or about to be. Farm houses will soon have to be fenced off from the rest of the property to ensure the kids are kept close to the house.

Its for their own good ya know.

You know I support that in some ways. When my babies were little we had a ring fence around the house. There was no way I wanted my kids in a dam or stream. They were fenced in. I knew I did not have to worry if I was feeding baby #3 that first born 4 year old had buggered off to watch the frogs in the dam, the kids did as they could inside that ring fence. As they got older the ring fence became wider. I guess that is the crux of this issue eh? What we allow our kids to do and whether others think it is ok. I am the first to leap on child abusers. Somehow, and I dont know how, things need to change.

[dogsnbikes]

several years ago the Xwife was put through 24months of hell through a CYF's Ivestigation all started because 14year old didn't want too do as she was told and rang CYF's and complained

After the investigation she was told that child just needs a Good kick up the Arse

WTF!!!! like HELLO

[Genestho]

Community is what we need to build, wide family community. There is no place in this community for small minded, all men are peadophiles, all children need to be cocooned in fluufy stuff till they leave home weirdos. Yes care for you kids, yes teach them boundaries, yes teach them about stranger danger, but most importantly, yes, let them grow up to learn a few of lifes lessons along the way.

We have created this world where we feel our kids are not safe.


Opps I seem to have blown a gasket!

Spot on, was going to add to that, but I think you've covered it nicely....and I must spread before giving AGAIN! LOL!
Watch those gaskets girl! Least ya didn't throw a rod!

[Mom]

Spot on, was going to add to that, but I think you've covered it nicely....and I must spread before giving AGAIN! LOL!
Watch those gaskets girl! Least ya didn't throw a rod!

I think I would prefer Maha threw a rod really

[Genestho]

I think I would prefer Maha threw a rod really

O 'eck! TMIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!

[slowpoke]

So how do you fix the situation?

You can't wind back the clock to when Mum was home all day and dinner was on the table when Dad got home to give you a floggin'. You can't instantly create a sense of community when 90% of the community fucks off to somewhere else to earn a crust 5/6 days a week. By and large generations of families don't grow up in one area anymore, teachers don't remember so and so's brother, you don't have to meet Mr and Mrs Citizen in the course of playing with their son 'cos you don't even have to leave the house to hang out online etc etc

The world we live in now is different to the one most, if not all, of us grew up in. Get used to it, there is no magic bullet, and no going back. Thinking you can is just pissing in the wind.

I blame the academic Sue Bradford types. They live in a theoretical world, coming up with black and white solutions to problems that in practice are anything but black and white. What should be "Guidelines" become "Procedures" with very little room for interpretation. I pity the poor CYF's person at the coal face who instead of using common sense has to start leafing through the manual for the correct theoretical response to a given situation.

But to say CYF's should be shut down is to ignore a desperate problem in our "community". We've an appalling history of damaging the defenceless in this country and some sort of system/organisation is required to intervene or pick up the pieces. CYF's mightn't be doing a great job (how do we even assess that?) but at least it's doing something and is surely better than nothing.

[Mom]

I pity the poor CYF's person at the coal face who instead of using common sense has to start leafing through the manual for the correct theoretical response to a given situation.

CYF's mightn't be doing a great job (how do we even assess that?) but at least it's doing something and is surely better than nothing.

I should have put them on my list of people that I feel sorry for, thanks for bringing them to the fore.

Something is better than nothing for sure, but as you point out, the path of intervention and procedure is complex and convaluted.

[Genestho]

So how do you fix the situation?

You can't wind back the clock to when Mum was home all day and dinner was on the table when Dad got home to give you a floggin'. You can't instantly create a sense of community when 90% of the community fucks off to somewhere else to earn a crust 5/6 days a week. By and large generations of families don't grow up in one area anymore, teachers don't remember so and so's brother, you don't have to meet Mr and Mrs Citizen in the course of playing with their son 'cos you don't even have to leave the house to hang out online etc etc

The world we live in now is different to the one most, if not all, of us grew up in. Get used to it, there is no magic bullet, and no going back. Thinking you can is just pissing in the wind.

I blame the academic Sue Bradford types. They live in a theoretical world, coming up with black and white solutions to problems that in practice are anything but black and white. What should be "Guidelines" become "Procedures" with very little room for interpretation. I pity the poor CYF's person at the coal face who instead of using common sense has to start leafing through the manual for the correct theoretical response to a given situation.

But to say CYF's should be shut down is to ignore a desperate problem in our "community". We've an appalling history of damaging the defenceless in this country and some sort of system/organisation is required to intervene or pick up the pieces. CYF's mightn't be doing a great job (how do we even assess that?) but at least it's doing something and is surely better than nothing.

Another good post.

Which reminds me how fortunate I am to live in close knit community, young middleclass families, just like mine that I've known for years.
Down our street, most work from home, curtains are flickered when strangers hit our street.
We go outside if there's rowdy cars around, makin sure people know we're about.
We check on each other if there is ever glass smashing, or alarms going off.
Some of the guys caught kids throwing eggs at one of the houses one night, and gave them a wee fright and sent them on their way.

We look out for each other.

We can have 20 kids playing out on the street, we have an innaugural watch out for kids sign - slow down.
I have a really awesome kid friendly community. And our kids are all good kids, all ages.

I hope Families Commission will do some good stuff in the immediate future, I watch Christine Rankin with interest.

[James Deuce]

But to say CYF's should be shut down is to ignore a desperate problem in our "community". We've an appalling history of damaging the defenceless in this country and some sort of system/organisation is required to intervene or pick up the pieces. CYF's mightn't be doing a great job (how do we even assess that?) but at least it's doing something and is surely better than nothing.

They're not doing anything except soak up millions of dollars and failing to help those who need it.

I used to go and read to kids in hospital because it was one way of seeing my wife back in the days when she did rostered rotating shifts, and I got pretty sick of watching patched gang memebers walk in and pick up the kid who had been admitted with scalds from boiling water thrown over them because they were too noisy, cigarette burns on their faces, and malnourished frames covered in bedsores. They live in the same town as you guys.

They'd be back two days later, burns infected and more damage. Usually with a cold and chest infection as well.

But it did mean they got to hear a bit more of the Hobbit or Mrs Tiggywinkle, or whatever I was reading at the time.

CYF don't help the most at risk, and are happy to remove children who aren't at risk from a family who is having a torrid time, but aren't a threat to their children in any way. They will investigate baseless accusations on the basis of the accused having to prove their innocence. But will they take a kid from a "family" who use a child as a toy and make sure those people can never ever hurt them ever again?

No. Not ever. Their policy is that the child must be adopted or fostered to people who will allow the filthiest dregs of society into their life so they can maintain contact with "their" child. People who have never done anything except rape their 2 year old, or beat their 4 year old with whatever comes to hand will be given the override button on any decision that the people now raising that child make. If you've ever tried to adopt in this country, you will know that you are better off competing with 5000 other couples for the rare orphans with no other family memebers who pop up from time to time.

CYF are a failed social experiement that is run poorly, on a shoestring, by people who probably cared once upon a time, but have to follow dogma instead of common sense. Want to save an at risk abused kid? Send it to the other end of the country to parents who will care and cherish the child and make sure there is no trail for the original parents to follow.

[Elysium]

I see kids that age hanging around town, dairys and on the streets without adult supervision and they have an issue with two kids who can look after themselves playing in a childrens playground?

[Motu]

You can't wind back the clock to when Mum was home all day

Yes you can,but most aren't prepared to do it.One of our commitments when we had kids was that they wouldn't have 2 working parents.We have been on a single income for 28 years,and our 4 kids home schooled.It's been very tough financially - no nice new bikes for me.But their Mum has been home all day.

[NDORFN]

How does this shit keep going ahead when NO ONE agrees with it???