F.O.G World Domination

**Headbanger** · 21st July 2009, 11:13

Tremble ye spork owners

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/...ectid=10585762

**Big Dave** · 21st July 2009, 11:16

I used Chopsticks last night.

Terriaki - No 9 - from 'Noodle Canteen'.

Bueno.

**Headbanger** · 21st July 2009, 11:21

I saw a more advanced spork, It had a knife down one side, I was thinking what sort of crazy fucker is going to eat off that, sure you could use it to cut your sausages and pick it up, but when you stick it in your moth its going to slice your cheek open.

Still, thats modern technology, Use it wrong and it kills you, Unlike the Chinese who have eaten for thousands of years with 2 little sticks, The fork must have blown their tiny tiny little minds.

**martybabe** · 21st July 2009, 11:28

I sing to the spoon tune myself, most of what I cook is slop anyway and it can be shovelled in much more rapider sp with a spoon, plus you can do many an amusing trick with a spoon whilst waiting for the decent civilised folk to finish their meals.

Since Mcdonalds came to town, a lot of the yoof in Britain are unable to grasp the concept of cutlery at all, I'm afraid it's dirty old nose picking fingers for the win in the future, followed closley by spoons and troughs, buy your forks while they still make them!

**Blackshear** · 21st July 2009, 11:31

I can cut stuff with my fork, why bother using a knife? IMHO, usually cutting with a fork is easier.

**Devil** · 21st July 2009, 11:46

I'll stick with traditional table manners and etiquette, thats what i've been taught, that's how it'll stay.

**peasea** · 21st July 2009, 12:53

I was apalled when we bought a Wiltshire five-million piece cutlery set (well, dozens anyway) and there's no damned soup spoons!

What's the world coming to?

**Mikkel** · 21st July 2009, 13:10

Just because you can cut premium eye fillet with the side of your fork doesn't mean you have to turn into a barbarian for crying out loud.

What's next? Cabernet Sauvignon in plastic bottles with screw tops and fold-out straws?

**Swoop** · 21st July 2009, 13:20

It's a conspiracy I tell ya!!

Those lunatic fringe Greenies and their bleeding-heart-liberal mates' are trying to get OSH further into our lives by "making the household safer" and removing the knife from our lives!

How can you stab the chef who has performed poorly?
How will you be able to herd peas onto your lonely fork?
I have never seen a blindfolded man throwing forks at a young lady who has been tied to a large wheel and set spinning!

... The racing-spoon though... THAT has a future!

**The Pastor** · 21st July 2009, 13:40

Can you eat faster with usd forks

**martybabe** · 21st July 2009, 13:48

Originally Posted by Swoop

I have never seen a blindfolded man throwing forks at a young lady who has been tied to a large wheel and set spinning!

Sorry swoop, it's too late.....

The night kicked off at 7.30pm at with Nicholas J Johnson warming the audience up with some great comedy before introducing DJ and Christy Shelper, the world's only fork-throwing act. No gimmicks, just real forks and real danger. Where else can you see an act like that?

Linky below, which conclusively proves knives have had their day.

http://images.google.co.nz/imgres?im...%3Den%26sa%3DG

**Hitcher** · 21st July 2009, 14:59

Ah, the apostrophes of the dinner table!

How many people know which way a knife should face as part of a properly laid out table setting?

**Big Dave** · 21st July 2009, 15:22

Originally Posted by Hitcher

Ah, the apostrophes of the dinner table!

How many people know which way a knife should face as part of a properly laid out table setting?

Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?
I see thee yet, in form as palpable
As this which now I draw.
Thou marshall'st me the way that I was going;
And such an instrument I was to use.
Mine eyes are made the fools o' the other senses,
Or else worth all the rest; I see thee still,
And on thy blade and dudgeon gouts of blood,
Which was not so before. There's no such thing:
It is the bloody business which informs
Thus to mine eyes. Now o'er the one halfworld
Nature seems dead, and wicked dreams abuse
The curtain'd sleep; witchcraft celebrates
Pale Hecate's offerings, and wither'd murder,
Alarum'd by his sentinel, the wolf,
Whose howl's his watch, thus with his stealthy pace.
With Tarquin's ravishing strides, towards his design
Moves like a ghost. Thou sure and firm-set earth,
Hear not my steps, which way they walk, for fear
Thy very stones prate of my whereabout,
And take the present horror from the time,
Which now suits with it. Whiles I threat, he lives:
Words to the heat of deeds too cold breath gives.