Advice for travelling with a stiffy

[Fatt Max]

Oopsie,

Riding home tonight, waiting at the lights on Remmers road, when all of a sudden I cracked the most raging uncontrolled hard on I’ve had in fecking years. No warning, no seeing Angeline Jolie in the car next to me, naked, eating a mince and cheese pie with a big smile on her face….it just jumped out of my pants like a fecking demented squirrel….

So, here I am, squirming with discomfort as the lights change and I’m off with the old fella resting hard up against the tank……then the car in front slams the anchors on, I follow suit and the purple headed monster slams into the tank….fucking-hell-on-earth, the pain of it, just about fainted with the shock.

I tried all the old methods of reducing the pan handle, you know, like when you are in the school hall at assembly just as it’s time to stand up and leave….or when you are on the bus and it’s arriving at your stop….right at that moment the old fella jumps and all of a sudden you have a jap eye broomstick poking out for all to see….all you can do is think of things that can only be described as the source of all drooping, such as:

- Owning a Holden
- The Briscoes lady “hunting for Red October” with Suzanne Paul
- The fucking Briscoes lady full stop
- Suzanne Paul
- Anything manufactured by Honda
- Helen Clarke getting it from behind from Paul Holmes
- A ‘Sorry, We Are Closed” sign on the door of any bakery

None of that worked, not even Ms Clarke copping a bell full of the mighty midget.

Got home still tri-podding, went to get off the bike and whacked my clanger of the tank…..AGAIN….ended up in a heap on the floor. Just managed to get up the stairs and into the house when wee willy winkie decided to go back to sleep, what a drama…

So, anyone got any tips for cooling the effects of a rager when on the road…for the love of God, someone please enlighten me…..

As for Angeline and that pie……

[R6_kid:Me]

You should have read the pack. That shit can last for up to 12hrs!

[Hitcher]

Buy a Porsche. They seem to attract guys who suffer from SPS.

[Dean]

If you want answers, ask this guy he knows alot on this paticular matter, he reminds me of Hitcher but a younger version.

[Bikernereid]

Think of getting it on with your mother and grandmother at the same time. If you still have a stiffy then you should try seeing a psych, counsellor, sex therapist et al.

We were thinking of a different Stiffy when we first read the byline but so think this post is worst!!!

Oh and try getting some ice bags located close by to where you park your bike for future engorging accidents.

[owner]

Have a wank!

[Big Dave]

Have a wank!

Didn't you read the first post?

[Bikernereid]

Or for safety try getting your passenger to do that whilst you control your bike

[owner]

Didn't you read the first post?

s

Yeah I did, To get rid of a stiffy you have a wank, if there is no willing partner available

Dont tell me you can't wank and ride!!!

I ride a sportbike. It would be easy on a cruizer

Does kiwirider want pics?

[Grumpy]

Get married.....

[nadroj]

Think of getting it on with your mother and grandmother at the same time. If you still have a stiffy then you should try seeing a psych, counsellor, sex therapist et al.

We were thinking of a different Stiffy when we first read the byline but so think this post is worst!!!

Oh and try getting some ice bags located close by to where you park your bike for future engorging accidents.

Are you busy?

[owner]

She's not busy. How much ya got?

[hospitalfood]

if my bike did not make me hard I would not ride it. I do not usually get bared in traffic though, don't know why not?

I have never found myself wanting to be rid of a hard-on while riding so I find it hard to understand.
The advice of having a wank is not bad, but it is not always easy to find a queue in a bank, or any other appropriate place.

If it really bothered me I guess I would start to dry hump my bike, hope this helps.
Sorry to hear that your knob took a beating mate.

[Fatt Max]

Get married.....

I am, that's why I get erections on my bike.....

[Pussy]

You know it's a good one, Max, when you try to bend it down to take a piss, and your feet twist out from underneath you.
This is actually the definition of "torque"